The only problem was that it was like winning the Lottery; you could lose yourself in dreams of what you’d do, and have the money spent by the end of them, but the reality was that it wasn’t going to happen, and that distant vision of him and Nick together, openly, was about as likely as his numbers coming up one Saturday night.
And asking Nick to stay at his house temporarily wasn’t particularly brave, so he didn’t know why he felt as if he’d just done something momentous. He’d got three bedrooms after all, and in some ways there’d be less said about Nick stopping than if he’d made the same offer to Katy.
John realized his head was aching trying to predict the town’s reactions and sighed in frustration.
Nick set the fresh bottle at his elbow and looked down at him, one hand coming up to brush tentative fingers across John’s cheek. “It’s okay. People would probably talk. I get that.”
“I’d have had Niall or Michael over to stay without thinking twice,” John said heavily. “It’s just because I know damn well you’d be in my bed that I think everyone else would know that, too. Which makes no sense, so you don’t need to point that out.”
Nick’s hand didn’t move away, and he turned his face into the light touch, grateful for the comfort.
“It’s okay,” Nick repeated, bending down and kissing him. Nick’s mouth was soft, gentle, comforting, and yet the reassurance of the kiss lasted only moments before it turned into something more eager. Nick’s hand continued to cup John’s face, mouths exploring each other, the taste of garlic so unimportant that it barely registered. “I don’t care about any of it,” Nick murmured between kisses. “If we have to hide and pretend we’re just friends. Whatever. I don’t care. I just want you.”
“You’ve got me.” John meant it. “And we can do better than that, I swear it.” He stood up so that he could put his arms around Nick properly, the arousal that half an hour of eating and talking had damped down flaring to life again. “God, it’s not been five hours and I want you again. What do you do to me? Or do you think that’s the fault of the fresh air, too?”
“We can blame it on the fresh air if you want.” Nick ran his hands over John’s back and kissed his jaw. “I don’t care why, really. I’ve never been like this with anyone.” He pressed against John hungrily, and when John turned his head to claim another kiss Nick made a small sound of pleasure.
“Maybe ‘blame’ and ‘fault’ aren’t really the right words. I’m thinking it’s just you, and I don’t care either as long as you don’t stop whatever it is you’re doing.” Nick moved to lean against the table, spreading his legs enough that John could stand between them, their lower bodies touching. John groaned as he felt how hard Nick was already, unable to keep from rubbing up against him. “God, please don’t stop.”
“I never want to stop.” Nick kissed the corner of John’s mouth. “I just want to ... keep doing this forever ...” His hands slid down to John’s arse and curled into claws, pulling John toward him. Breathlessly, Nick asked, “Would it be showing a total lack of self control if I undressed you right here?”
“Aye, it probably would.” John gasped as Nick’s teeth found his ear and bit down on it. “But don’t let that stop you. Assuming you don’t mind being bent over this table five minutes later that is.” John shuddered from just picturing Nick like that, his fingers gripping the edge of the table, his skin glowing pale against the dark wood, glancing back over his shoulder with his face showing every bit of the need he’d be feeling. “Or we could try and make it upstairs, but for God’s sake think of something we can use for lube, because I don’t know how much longer I can wait for us to fuck.”
It crossed John’s mind to wonder if Nick would rather be the one doing the fucking. It wasn’t the impression he’d got though, so he decided to wait and see. It didn’t matter to him all that much. The only thing he was certain of was that he was all in favor of anything that involved Nick and him naked and enjoying themselves.
“I bought lube.” Nick got one hand beneath the waistband of John’s jeans, caressing bare skin. “Today. And condoms. Everything. Oh God, John, I want to be naked in bed with you. I want to be able to see you, touch you.”
“You did?” John had a moment of worry about the implications of that, but it faded as Nick’s hand slid further down, the tips of his fingers grazing across John’s cock. “Good. Oh fuck, your hand --” He leaned his head against Nick’s shoulder, trying to stop himself from squirming, or begging, or both. “Well, wherever you left them is where I want to be, and if it’s your bedroom you’re going to have to stop that or I’ll be too weak in the knees to walk up the stairs.”
“Okay.” Nick’s voice sounded so normal that John might have thought Nick wasn’t as eager as he was if he hadn’t seen the sparkle in Nick’s eyes. “Come on -- let’s go upstairs.”
Chapter Eleven
The bed had been hastily made, the bottle of lube and a box of condoms set on the bedside table and the curtains drawn. John wondered if Nick preferred not to see the graveyard, and thought for a moment about suggesting that they could rearrange the upstairs of the house so that Nick could use a different room as his bedroom. But then Nick’s mouth was on his, and Nick’s hands were slowly removing his clothes, and most of the thoughts that went through John’s head on a regular basis fled in favor of blissful sensation.
As neither of them wanted to stop kissing for long, it took a while to get naked, but John didn’t mind. Taking it at a leisurely pace meant that he got to have his hands on Nick for longer, the anticipation building deliciously and the urgency lost because they’d arrived at where they wanted to be the moment they’d started kissing. Coming was something he was starting to think of as signaling the end of the fun, rather than being the point of it.
When the last piece of clothing was on the floor, he stepped back a little and looked at Nick in silence, stretching out his hand and tracing a line from the hollow at Nick’s throat down, dragging his fingers slowly over smooth skin and fine, dark hair until the head of Nick’s cock was resting under his palm, warm and slick.
Then he slipped his arm around Nick’s neck and pulled him closer, kissing him with a hunger he didn’t think he could ever sate.
Nick pressed closer, molding their bodies together and giving another one of those little whimpers against John’s lips. His hands were on John’s arse again, stroking over the skin more lightly than John thought he could have managed at that moment, when barely touching was the exact opposite of what he wanted to do.
“I’d like to point out,” Nick mumbled against John’s throat, “that we’re yet again standing when we could be using the perfectly good bed.”
“You distracted me again.” John tipped his head back, wondering if Nick could feel the way his heart was racing. “And if you want me on the bed, all you have to do is get on it yourself and I’ll be beside you not a moment later.”
“Or I could do this.” Nick maneuvered them both in the direction of the bed. The mattress hit the backs of John’s knees at the same time Nick’s hand found his erection and began to stroke it very slowly. “Weren’t you saying something about needing to lie down before?” Nick asked innocently.
After making sure that Nick wasn’t actually holding onto him, John fell backwards, dragging Nick with him so that they landed in a sprawled tangle, both of them laughing as they scrambled higher up the bed and then falling silent again as they began to kiss, their eyes closing as their lips met.
John ran his hand from Nick’s shoulder to his thigh, feeling Nick edge toward him, his upper leg sliding over John’s, rubbing against him eagerly. He moved his hand higher again, stroking over the exposed skin of Nick’s inner thigh and brushing against his balls with a light, testing touch. Nick turned his head, finding John’s mouth and kissing him hard, his tongue darting inside and exploring John’s mouth as John’s hand continued to rove over Nick’s body.
Nick’s leg slid higher in a wordless invitation, and John cupped Nick’s balls as best he could at this angle, rolling them gently in his hand and feeling them tighten, getting an eager, hungry sound in response that was all the encouragement he needed.
He couldn’t hurry with Nick somehow, not even now, when he was hard and aching with arousal. It took a whimper from Nick to have him slip his fingers back across the smooth strip of skin behind Nick’s balls and tease gently at the opening to his body, feeling Nick’s fingernails dig into his back in response.
“Want you.” John could hear the yearning he felt in his voice, making it shake. “Never wanted anyone the way I want you.”
Nick’s mouth settled over John’s nipple, lips and tongue teasing it into a tight peak at the first touch and each subsequent lick sending a jolt of arousal to John’s cock. John realized that he was trembling -- not in a visible way, and not even in a way that he thought Nick could feel, but deep inside, where no one knew about it but him. He wanted Nick so desperately that he was, quite literally, shaken to the core.
Nick’s own breathing was none too steady as John’s fingertip circled and rubbed.
John wanted to do more. Wanted to know what Nick felt like inside, hot and tight. Still, it was hard to get himself to move enough to reach for the lube, although by the time he’d slicked his fingers he was already thinking it was worth it, just for the look on Nick’s face, impatient and turned on, as he wasted some of the lube pulling at Nick’s balls before sliding back.
One finger slipped inside and Nick cried out softly, imploring, his cock against John’s thigh twitching in response.
The intimacy of that first deep touch was intense enough to make meeting Nick’s gaze an effort because John felt exposed, shivering with it, sharing his emotions where before he’d never given more than his body. He managed it, and was rewarded by the expression on Nick’s face as John’s fingers teased him, fucked him, spread him, his mouth open as he panted hoarsely, his eyes wide.
“Going to give you more than that,” John promised him, flickering his tongue across Nick’s lower lip and biting down on it gently. He twisted his wrist until he coaxed another soft, desperate whimper from Nick, gasping against the mouth he was kissing as Nick clenched around his fingers. “Going to give you everything I have, Nick.”
Nick inhaled shakily. “Yeah,” he whispered, his breath warm against John’s lips, his hips moving restlessly as John fucked him slowly with two fingers. “Need it. Need
you
. God ...” Nick’s hand fumbled and found John’s cock again, squeezing and rubbing rather inexpertly as his state of arousal made coordination difficult. Strangely, that just made it hotter.
John had to close his eyes then, his free hand gripping Nick’s shoulder, clinging to it as he dealt with a surge of arousal that had his hips moving in short, involuntary jerks, pushing up into Nick’s fist.
“How do you want to do this?” The words were distant in his head because he was concentrating on the details; the soft fall of Nick’s hair against his cheek, the strong ripple of muscle squeezing his fingers, the way they were breathing in unison. “I don’t know what you like yet.” Having time and chance to find out would be another first for him. He eased his fingers out of Nick, kissing him as he did, and moved away, giving Nick room. “Show me.”
Nick flushed, and John suspected that it was more from embarrassment than arousal. “Let me do this part,” he mumbled, reaching past John’s arm for the box of condoms and opening it, taking out a small packet. He tore it open and propped himself up on his elbow, then frowned and sat up. “Sorry -- easier like this.” He bent and kissed the head of John’s cock, drawing a startled gasp from him, before using careful fingers to smooth the condom on. It unrolled slowly down the length of John’s shaft, tight and just a bit slick inside, and when it was on Nick fondled John’s balls.
Then Nick lay back again, pulling John on top of him and kissing him.
“Like this.”
John took a moment to smooth his clean hand over Nick’s hair and smile down at him. “Fine by me.”
Even as aroused as they both were, there was enough weight of expectation to make Nick tense up slightly as John began to push inside him and for John to be just not quite at the right angle anyway. They paused, meeting each other’s eyes, and then Nick smiled reassuringly and John relaxed. It really didn’t matter if this wasn’t perfect. They’d have plenty of time to reach the point where it was as close to that state as it got.
Bending over, he kissed Nick again, reaching between them to stroke Nick’s erection until he felt Nick’s hands run over his back to cup his arse, urging him on.
Easing into Nick in one smooth, short slide, repeating it until he was deep inside him, suddenly became the easiest thing in the world.
“God, you feel incredible.” John hooked his hand under Nick’s leg and started to fuck him slowly, unable to look away from him. “Nick --”
Nick’s breath caught in his throat, his body arching beneath John’s. He groaned with the next thrust, moving with John and pulling him deeper, legs spread wider as they found a rhythm together. “God. God, John.”
“Is it good?” John pushed in again. “Tell me.” He wanted to hear Nick say it.
“
Fuck
, yes,” Nick gasped.
John kissed him, his tongue demanding in Nick’s mouth, needing more. Nick was tight and hot inside, more perfect than anything John had ever felt before, and yet somehow that wasn’t enough; he needed to know that it was like that for Nick, too. He pulled back a bit farther and shoved forward, a sharp jab that made Nick whimper.
“
John
.” Nick was trembling, his cock leaking onto his stomach.
Sliding his hand free and continuing to fuck Nick with strong, deep strokes that drew groans from each of them, John curled his hand around Nick’s cock, gripping it tightly and then running his thumb over the glistening head, bringing his hand up to his mouth and licking it clean with a swipe of his tongue.
Nick shuddered and groaned, rocking his hips to meet the next thrust. “God ... John, touch me again,
please
.”
“Like this?” John asked, his voice unsteady. The backs of his fingers brushed against Nick’s cock, barely touching it, going from balls to wet tip and then moving away. John felt a shiver run through him just from the way Nick’s cock jerked in response, making his next thrust deeper, rougher. “Or do you want more than that?”