Authors: Heidi Hutchinson
They were walking
back to the hotel when Travis pulled the groups attention to a small
music store. They entered and casually browsed the various
merchandise. CDs, vinyl’s, t-shirts, posters; every band
imaginable. Lenny was flipping through a stack of old records when a
familiar song started to play on the speakers overhead.
She
froze, listening to the first few notes on the guitar carefully,
it
couldn’t be…could it?
Then a low, gravelly voice started in with the lyrics she knew by
heart. It was her song. The song Luke had written for her. It
sounded a little different, the whole band was playing, it was no
longer acoustic. Lenny swallowed hard and looked around for the
store’s clerk. Spotting him near the register she slowly made
her way that direction, trying to not draw any attention to herself.
“
Excuse
me,” she flashed her most persuasive smile. The pudgy, curly
haired clerk straightened up as she spoke. “I was wondering
what the name of the track is that you're playing right now.”
“
Oh…uh,”
he held up a case, “It’s Double Blind Study’s new
single,
Need.
Just
got it today.” He handed the case over to Lenny for her to
examine.
She carefully took
the plastic case and turned it over, her hands shaking. It was a
stock photo of the band, nothing she hadn’t seen a million
times.
“
It’s
weird, right?” The clerk said with a laugh.
“
What
do you mean?” Lenny looked up at him with a soft frown.
“
Well,
just that guy,” he pointed to Luke on the cover. “He
writes this song for his girl and then goes off and cheats on her.”
“
What
are you talking about?” Lenny felt a hollowness in the pit of
her stomach.
The clerk pulled a
tabloid out from under the counter and opened it to the pictures of
Luke making out with a random girl. Lenny couldn’t help but
stare. She felt someone come up behind her but she didn’t
acknowledge them.
“
I
wonder if it’s a ploy to get more publicity,” the clerk
continued. “He’s been all over TV and radio this week
pushing their single and downplaying these tabloid pictures.”
Lenny
was skimming the article for any mention of her. She knew she
shouldn’t. She felt dirty for even looking at this piece of
trash like it was a legitimate news report but she couldn’t
stop herself. Yes, she was mentioned:
Lenna
Evans, former Olympian, humiliated by Casey’s addiction to sex
and booze has been in hiding for weeks.
Well, that wasn’t true. Alaska was far away but she wasn’t
hiding.
“
In
every interview he’s all: This song is for the love of my life.
I mean every word blah blah blah.” The clerk was enjoying his
own Luke impersonation.
“
C’mon,
Lenny,” a strong voice said from next to her. An equally
strong arm hooked around her waist and pulled her towards the door.
“We have to get back.” Shane addressed the clerk,
“Thanks, man. You got cool stuff here.”
Lenny felt numb as
she walked back to the hotel next to Shane. Her head was swirling
with the pictures from the tabloid of the girl on Luke’s lap
with her tongue down his throat. Her hands had been twisted in his
hair...the same way Lenny used to twist her fingers in it.
She felt knifed,
gutted, a sinkhole where here faith had been. It was so much more
than what she had felt the night she had walked in on Cody and Shane.
She had been forgotten.
She wasn't sure how
she made it all the way to her room and got her key out of her back
pocket.
***
Shane took the key
from her and opened the door, helping Lenny inside. He gave a
reassuring look to the rest of the group who had been watching with
worried faces.
“
We’ll
see you guys downstairs for dinner.” And he went inside
Lenny’s room with her.
She was rummaging
through her luggage for some clean clothes. Having gone from
lifeless to angry in the millisecond he wasn't looking.
“
You
okay?” He asked apprehensively.
“
Sure!
Why wouldn’t I be okay?” Lenny snapped, throwing her
clothes on the floor and rifling through them again.
“
I’m
not sure what to say, except I’m sorry.” Shane tried to
offer comfort.
“
That’s
rich, coming from you!” She scoffed openly. “I have great
taste in men, don’t I? I guess it’s true, you all want
the same thing. I didn't put out so he replaced me.”
Shane frowned, about
to protest. He wasn’t sure exactly what to say. She had a
right to be angry, especially with him. Lenny suddenly took off her
shirt and flung it to the floor. She kicked out of her jeans and
slid on a pair of shorts. Shane stared for a second before he
averted his eyes. She grabbed her running shoes and quickly laced
them up.
In only her sports
bra and running shorts Lenny headed to the fitness center downstairs.
Shane followed, unsure of what else to do. Lenny let herself into
the weight room and immediately started her old routine; heavy
weights, heavy squats, heavy presses. Shane recognized it right
away. It was part of her physical rehab after her accident. But she
was lifting way heavier than she had before. She was clearly going
for complete muscle fatigue.
“
It’s
a good song,” Shane wasn’t sure why he felt the need to
defend Luke. Probably cause the guy wasn’t there to defend
himself.
“
It’s
a great song,” Lenny grunted, “Stupid me for thinking it
was about me.”
“
How
do you know it’s
not
about you?” Shane countered, knowing he was walking a line
that might end up with him getting smacked.
“
Oh
please. It’s just another way to make money. If it was
special it would have stayed special and not been
sold
.”
She dropped her dumbbells with a thud. “It’s fine.
We’re not together. He can screw whatever tramp he wants.”
Shane watched her
sweat for a few minutes and then decided it was best to leave Lenny
alone. He didn’t go far. He sat out in the lobby with one eye
on the door and the other on the TV. Maybe Luke Casey would make an
appearance on ET or something and fill in some of the blanks.
Shane had been
sitting in the same chair for almost two hours when Nick joined him.
“
She
still in there?” Nick asked, having been filled in on the
basics by a very concerned Shelby Lynn.
“
Yep.”
Shane sighed and tossed down the magazine he’d been reading.
“She lifted for nearly an hour and now she’s running on
the treadmill.”
“
You
try talking to her?” Nick asked.
“
Sort
of. Didn’t go well. I’m a little afraid, not gonna
lie.” Shane pursed his lips.
Nick sighed heavily
and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.
“
I
called Duke…this is gonna get worse before it gets better.”
Nick spoke slowly, like he was afraid of the next few words he had
to say.
Shane narrowed his
eyes at him. “What do you mean?”
“
Luke’s
on his way here. His plane landed hours ago and I already
checked…he’s booked at this hotel.”
Lenny’s skin
was dripping with sweat. Her face was contorted and pinched as she
pushed the maximum speed and incline on the treadmill. Her hair had
almost completely broken free of the restraint and stuck in thick,
sweaty tendrils to her bare shoulders and back. Salty streams ran
into her face, blurring her vision and stinging her eyes. She didn’t
even bother wiping it away. Her lungs burned and her legs were on
fire but she pushed on. She had to keep going. At least until she
was numb and couldn’t feel the hurt that was buried deep inside
her.
It wasn’t
fair. Every muscle fiber in her was screaming, trying to break free
from the feelings that threatened to overtake her. She had done the
right thing. She had to call it quits with Luke. One of them had to
make the sacrifice. One of them had to be the grown up and see their
situation for what it really was. Her breathing intensified with her
thoughts. If she would have stayed, it could have only ended badly.
He would have resented her for changing his life around and she
couldn’t bear the thought of him looking at her with regret in
his eyes.
She felt the sweat
running in rivers between her shoulder blades. She breathed heavy out
of her mouth, sending sweat spewing on the display of the treadmill.
She should’ve known better. She should have protected herself
and never gotten involved with him. This was her fault. He hadn’t
done anything wrong. It was his job to write songs that squeezed the
soul of the listener. She shouldn’t have let herself think she
was special. She was a temporary muse. A convenient inspiration.
And now that she was out of the picture he was free to do whatever
with whomever he chose. Isn't that exactly what Ashton had told her?
She was replaceable.
The hollow pit in
Lenny’s stomach tightened as the pictures flashed in her mind
again. This would be a lot easier for her to handle if she didn’t
have to remember every single thing in perfect detail. Her
photographic memory was hell at times. This being one of them.
Those images would never leave her mind. Just like she would never
forget the things Shane and Cody had said to her. The same way she
remembered the accident in vibrant color with all the special
effects. It wasn’t fair. No one should have to carry a burden
so heavy; to see the one man she had ever loved in the arms of a
random woman.
Shane reentered the
fitness room and took a seat on the weight bench. He clasped a towel
in his hands on his lap and patiently waited. Lenny glanced at him
and saw that he wasn’t going to leave until he talked to her.
She jumped to the sides of the treadmill and shut it off. Shane
tossed her the towel and she wiped the sweat off her face.
“
Feel
better?” Shane asked, his face and voice tense.
“
No,”
Lenny shot back. She walked over and stood in front of him. She’d
pretty much had enough of everyone’s bullshit.
“
What
do you want, Shane?” She confronted contentiously.
“
Nothing.”
Shane remained tactful, “Just want to make sure you’re
okay.”
“
I’m
awesome.” Lenny said sarcastically and strode to the door.
Shane hurriedly got up to follow her.
“
I
don’t need a babysitter, Shane.” Lenny snapped. What
she needed was this stupid storm to clear and a high vertical.
She felt Shane's
large body pressing too close and turned around to tell him to back
off when she stopped in her tracks. Her eyes narrowed as a familiar
shape came through the front doors and approached the desk. She’d
recognize that saunter anywhere.
Without
thinking, she marched in that direction; Shane hot on her heels. He
was saying something to her but she wasn’t listening. All her
thoughts and the adrenaline from her intense workout drowned him out.
Hell
hath no fury, right?
“
What
the hell are you doing here?” Lenny confronted Luke. She
crossed her arms over her chest and glared deeply at him. She had
controlled her voice to keep from shouting but there was no mistaking
the edge in her words.
***
Luke was shocked to
see Lenny at the hotel. He thought he’d have to drive inland
when the storm cleared. It had been difficult enough just getting
from the airport to Valdez in the blizzard. He was tired and
discouraged and he wasn’t prepared to see Lenny. Especially
with the fury with which she was greeting him.