Learning to Let Go (18 page)

His lips quirked up in a half smile, one that would’ve made my panties melt if I’d been wearing any. “Fine, I’ll go first. I’d already toured the lab projects and knew that I wanted yours. It was the perfect addition to take Bio-Medical Solutions the direction I’d hoped. I talked with Dr. Leonard and he suggested I take the tour so I could see you at work…”

“And?”

His arms wrapped around my shoulders, holding me close. “I was impressed with how you carried yourself, focusing on the job at hand, trying to perfect every minute detail of the wrist. I knew I wanted to interview you, but when you looked up and our eyes caught in the mirror…” He paused, as if unsure what to say next.

“Don’t keep me in suspense, Garrett!” I pushed my bottom against him to try and refocus is thoughts.

His lips brushed the side of my neck, one hand reaching down to cup my breast. “Let’s just say your eyes held the same hurt that I felt. I could see that we were kindred spirits and I knew I’d stop at nothing to entice you to come to Orlando. For the first time, my heart literally skipped a beat and I wanted to pursue what that meant. I just didn’t know how addictive you would be to my soul, to the very essence of my life.”

Talk about a mindfuck! I expected something along the lines of, “I thought you were a hot piece and wanted to tap that.” I’d heard it a million times from Chase and his asshole buddies.

His lips suckled the juncture of my neck and shoulders, marking me lightly, claiming me as his. He trailed a line of tender licks up to my ear, where he pulled on my earlobe and whispered, “Your turn, love. Why me?”

“I’m hard pressed to try and top your explanation without saying ‘ditto,’ but the feelings were similar in nature. I’d never been held captive by anyone’s eyes before. The intensity of your stare—it stirred things in me that I was unfamiliar with. I had to ask Hannah and Grace why my body was responding in strange ways. It was only later that I realized the pull we had to each other. You’re the first person I’ve ever wanted and desired to be intimate with.”

To prove my point, I pushed one of my legs backwards over his hip and rocked my backside into him. “I’d shut my body down after Chase for anyone else who tried to get close, but it sprang to life the moment I met you. I had trust issues and I didn’t know if it would be possible to work through them, but you were careful with me, moving slowly, telling me what you wanted and what you were going to do with me… It gave me a comfort I’d never felt before and allowed me to open up to a new life. I had a choice to make when I met you.”

His hand ran up and down my side, squeezing me gently in encouragement. “What choice is that, love?”

I entwined my fingers with his and took a deep breath in. “I could continue to be the victim, always living in fear and never trusting anyone, which allowed Chase to constantly reign over me. Or, I could take my cousin’s advice and take a chance and start living again, hoping for a better future. I could take a chance on love.”

Garrett’s roaming hands stopped as his body stiffened against mine and his voice shook as he asked, “You love me?”

My hand flew over my mouth. I had never intended to say the words aloud, not yet, but how could I not? Jocelyn suggested I take a chance and admit my feelings to him and see if he responded in kind. She warned me that it might take time, but he would hopefully open up to me.

He remained rigid, but his hand came up and removed mine from my mouth. His eyes were firm and his voice controlled, with a slight hint of darkness to it. “I asked you a question and I expect an answer, Laurel. Do you love me?”

I closed my eyes and nodded. It was the only thing I could do. I felt my heart prepare for rejection and my mind put together a plan of where I’d go, who I could move in with, where I could get a job…

His words broke my silence. “Stop all that thinking; you’re giving me a headache just watching your face all scrunched up.” His hand reached around to caress my face and his lips drifted softly over mine, increasing in pressure as they begged for entrance into my mouth.

I had to pull back in order to get enough air into my lungs to breathe. He literally took my breath away with a passion never before seen in his kiss. I know my face showed how baffled I was by his actions.

“You’re not kicking me out?” I asked, almost surprised.

He laughed heartily at my statement. “Why on earth would I do a stupid thing like that?”

“Because you seemed to shut down when I admitted that I love you.”

“I’m happy to know you care so deeply for me. You have no idea the relief I feel inside to hear those words; it means I don’t have to worry about you running anymore. I care for you in ways I never thought possible. I wish I could say the words you long to hear, but the shell of my heart fears your rejection in the future. If you can just bear with me, I promise to say them when the time is right.”

I wasn’t over the moon with his declaration, but I also didn’t feel dejection and self-pity for loving a man who feels he shouldn’t be allowed to love me back. Jocelyn warned that this might be his response, but told me to hold onto him with both hands and show him that I’d be there for him no matter what.
What kind of secret does he have that he thinks I’d leave him over?

I sat up in bed, feeling more frustrated than ever. We had come so far in such a short time—why were we still at such an impasse?

“Come lie down next to me while your pill begins to kick in.” He sat up, trying to kiss my shoulder and work his way down my arm, as one of his hands circled round my waist and pulled me back to the pillows. “My arms are lonely without you.”

“Fine,” I grumbled.

“I know you’re mad at me, Laurel, but this is a bigger step then I had ever planned on. My life is more complicated than it appears and I’m afraid if I make the wrong move, I’ll lose you forever.”

So he was afraid of losing me.
Let him close for now, but keep your heart guarded. You already care too much for him.

I could feel the drowsiness of the medication take hold of my thoughts and found myself curled up inside his arms, my cheek pressed across the heart of his warm chest. The beats brought a soothing relief to my senses and became my lifeline.

The small disagreement Laurel and I had over a week ago still lay heavy on my mind. I kept going back to the night she proclaimed her love for me, wondering why I couldn’t be man enough to take the chance and just tell her how I felt, that I loved her more than anything on this earth. Why did I have to let fear consume me?

Ever since that night, I would wake startled that she had left me, re-visiting visions from my past.
Why bother, Garrett? You know that anyone you let inside your heart gets hurt and leaves. You’re no good for her.
I shook my head, trying to dispel my inner thoughts.

All this excessive work, playing catch up from the time we were at the beach, was about to kill me. Laurel hadn’t complained (much) about having an office next to mine, at least. She’d been hard at work finishing up the latest prototype of her prosthetic hand and wrist for Bio-Medical Solutions, along with two new machines designed to capture statistical knowledge and alignment of an athlete’s performance for a multitude of sporting events. Her hope was to compare the statistics of the individuals we were helping to rehabilitate and increase their skills with those of other professional athletes in top rankings, finding answers to tweak their performances and get them back in the game.

I hated not being with her always, but had to concede that she would be in good hands with either Dillon or Thompson watching her as she went to her appointments with Jocelyn and back to the penthouse while I finished up contract negotiations for work. She had protested, wanting to stay and offer me some assistance, since she’d been collaborating with me on this project, but I knew from experience that it was important to keep meetings with Jocelyn.

Just when I felt things were getting back to normal and might actually have a way of working out, the whole bottom fell out. I received a small package, sent via courier, to my office to the attention of Garrett Andrews, not G.A. Waters. I thought that odd, because I rarely received mail addressed to my former name. I was about to open it when I noticed it was from Peterson Securities. I had Thompson take it to our x-ray development area to get it scanned for anything suspicious.

He returned within minutes, handing me a smaller envelope that contained a picture of Laurel and I together, along with a note:

My worst nightmare was coming true.

“Thompson, get Dillon on the phone immediately and see where they’re at. Then get this package and note to the authorities. That bastard has upped the ante, threatening to kill Laurel.”

Thompson had always been a strong person, never really showing much emotion, hiding his feelings well. His face paled and he began to speed dial Dillon’s number. “There’s no answer, Sir,” he said anxiously. “I’ve tried three times and even tried Miss Hart’s number and no one is picking up.”

Something told me that things weren’t right and we needed to find them fast. “Call Smith to pull up the tracking device on her car, the GPS on both of their cells, and her bracelet. I need to know where they’re at and now!” I grabbed my jacket and computer and began sprinting toward the elevator with Thompson on my heels.

By the time we reached the garage, Smith was calling, indicating their cell phones were not picking up and must be disabled, but Laurel’s bracelet and the car’s tracking device had them near the water at Lake Eola.

Thompson didn’t even bother to wait for my directions; he peeled out of the garage as soon as I was in the SUV.

Please let her be okay. Please let her be okay. My heart can’t take losing anyone else.

We heard the sirens before we reached the park and I could see the rear tires of her mini-SUV sticking up out of the water. The police were busy processing the scene, while a group of firefighters and paramedics surrounded some people on the ground.

Thompson made a beeline to the paramedics. All the memories of my past came flooding back in, seeing Aunt Lydia broken on the street, blood oozing from her wounds and the driver speeding off, never to be caught. I felt numb and dazed. It was happening all over again.

“Sir?” Thompson shook my arm gently to break my stupor. “They’re a little shaken up with a few minor cuts and bruises. The only casualty is Miss Hart’s vehicle and both their cell phones.”

I stepped forward to see that Dillon was giving a play by play of events to the cops, while Laurel sat on the grass in a daze. I bent down to her line of sight. As soon as she realized I was there, I held out my arms and she leapt into them, crying.

“Thank God you’re here, Garrett,” she sobbed. “Someone messed with my car. I don’t know who would want to cut my brake line!”

A feeling of relief swept through me, knowing that she was okay. My only concern was how that little fucker managed to get past our security and disable her Evoque. It was supposed to be one of the safest vehicles out there, that’s why I picked it. It should have notified them of the low brake fluid.