Lea's Menage Diary (7 page)

“Now listen to me. It’s crazy, I know. We’ve only known each
other for a couple of days, but that doesn’t change the fact that in that short
time, you’ve been all I can think about. I’m sorry about missing your second
lesson. I fucked up.”

“Kane told me about your dog. You had to deal with that.”

“Maybe so, but I should have called you and cancelled the
lesson. Instead, I asked Kane to take over. Tell me the truth, Lea. Did he fuck
you?”

I closed my eyes, fearing the worst.

“Answer me, pet. Please.”

“Yes, Reed. Your brother and I had sex.”

“Kane’s an asshole. Damn it.”

I opened my eyes and kissed Reed, hoping to soften his rage.
“He’s not an asshole, and neither are you. You want the truth? Here it is. I’ve
fallen for both of you. Maybe it’s only a rebound from my ex, or maybe it’s
something more. But I can’t continue down this path any longer. I just can’t.”

“Shh, Lea. Listen to me.”

I had to make him understand. “No. This isn’t a scene. This
is real life. Please, Reed. You’ve shown me so much. I will be forever grateful
to you and Kane for that.”

“Lea, I think I’m falling for you.” Reed’s admission melted
my insides.

My own new feelings for him could easily latch onto his
words, but I knew that would only end in disaster. Even if Kane didn’t feel the
same for me as Reed, I definitely felt the same for him as I did his twin.

“That means a lot to me, Reed, but it can’t be. No doubt
about it, I already care for you, too. You
think
you are falling in love with me, and maybe if we could continue with whatever
this is, our feelings for each other might actually turn into something real.”

“Exactly.” Under his confident surface, I saw a panic that
mirrored my own. “Give
us
a chance,
Lea.”

I shook my head. “I can’t. This isn’t just about you and
me.”

“Do you mean Kane?” His face darkened.

“Yes. I have feelings for him, too. So, you see, this can
never be.”

“Why not? Spend more time with me and you’ll see I’m the one
for you, not him. Hell, spend more time with Kane and you’ll see he’s not
someone who you’d ever want to build a life with.”

“Stop it, Reed. This is hard enough for me.” Tears streamed
down my cheeks. “Even if I could find it in my heart to choose one of you, can
you imagine what that would do to you and Kane? It would rip you two apart.
Don’t even try to deny it. I tell you I care about him and you start telling me
why it would never work. I’m not going to do this any longer.”

“Lea, you’re not responsible for how Kane and I deal with
each other.”

I left the bed and put on my robe. “I can’t choose between
you and Kane. It’s just not possible. Please, Reed. I’m dying inside right
now.”

“Let’s talk this out, baby.”

“You told me you weren’t much of a talker. Right now,
neither am I. You need to go. Your five minutes is up.”

“Okay, Lea. But I need to apply some cream to your ass.”

“No,” I said harshly. Softening my tone, I continued, “I can
take care of that myself.”

“Sure, sweetheart. I’ll go now. But I’m not giving up on
us
. You’ll see. Believe me.”

I wanted to believe him more than anything, but I knew
things for me would end badly no matter how much I wished for something
different.

As he dressed, I vowed to myself that no matter how hard the
brothers tried to get me to see them, I would refuse. There would be no more
nights at The Cell and no more nights with the two men who had captured all of
me. My heart might not survive my new vow, but I wasn’t about to come between
Reed and Kane. Ever.

Feb 13th

Ever since Reed left last night, I’ve been an utter mess. I
haven’t been able to sleep or eat or anything.

Did I make a mistake pushing him away? No. It was the right
thing to do, but it fucking hurts so much.

****

My cell phone exploded this morning.

Six more texts and two voicemails from Kane are waiting for
me to read and listen to. I can’t face his words. Reed has called three times
but hasn’t left any messages.

Daniel, my only brother and the eldest of my siblings and
me, is great for any legal and financial questions, but for things of the
heart, I know the experts are my sisters, Ella and Amy. Needing female
confidants to talk this out with, I’ve called both of them. I’d thought about
calling Mia, but wondered if she might be too close to the situation to be able
to really listen. And though Misty, Mia’s sister, and I are really close, of
all of us, she’s the most uptight. I am in no condition to hear recriminations
from her.

Hell, I know I screwed everything up.

I’m not actually looking for answers. I just need some
friendly shoulders to cry on.

****

Ella and Amy sat on either side of me, wrapping their arms
around my body as I sobbed and sobbed. I was still in my robe, my hair looking
Medusa-ish. I was quite a contrast to my sisters.

Ella wore a navy blue business suit and designer heels. Her
blonde hair looked amazing in the new bob cut that reminded me of Victoria
Beckham’s. Amy’s hair was blonde with bright pink highlights. Her flowing pale
yellow dress and matching sandals mirrored her always sunny attitude. Sure they
were on opposite sides of the fashion wheel, but they both were stunning in
their own right.

It took a while for me to tell them the whole story about
Reed and Kane, but they didn’t push me, letting me take all the time I needed.
When I was done, I felt like I’d run an emotional marathon. I was completely
wrung out.

“Sweetie, this is likely a rebound.” Ella squeezed my hand.
“Jerry just broke up with you.”

If only that were true. “I thought it might be, sis, but it
feels so much deeper than anything I ever had with Jerry. I did love him, but
it wasn’t anything like this. It was safe and comfortable.”

“Sounds like the phone call you and I had last summer about
your sex life with Jerry—safe and comfortable.” Amy never held back. She was an
open book and never understood why everyone else wasn’t. “Right, Lea?”

“Yes. Boring.”

“No wonder you’re smitten with Reed and Kane.” Amy smiled.
“They sound exciting and dangerous. Bad boys are every girl’s fantasy.”

“I’m not just smitten. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve
already fallen head over heels for them.”

Ella sighed. “Scratch my rebound theory. Sweetie, are you
sure you aren’t more into one or the other? It would make things much simpler
for you.”

“I like where you’re going with this, Ella.” Amy brightened.
“Team Reed or Team Kane. Which is it, Lea?”

“Both. Don’t you get it? I care about both of them. I could
never choose. Ever.”

A knock on the door startled all of us.

Amy jumped up before I could stop her. “I hope it’s one of
your guys, Lea. Or maybe both of them.”

I couldn’t face them now. “Don’t answer the door.”

Just like when we were kids, Amy totally disregarded my
directions and opened the door.

Thankfully, the people standing in the doorway weren’t Reed
or Kane. Instead, Mia and Misty walked in, their faces full of concern.

I smiled weakly. “If I knew we were going to have a party, I
would’ve dressed.”

Misty came and sat beside me in the spot that Amy had just
vacated. “Honey, I came as soon as Amy called.”

I glared at my youngest sister. “You’re going to pay.”

She shrugged. “I’m sorry, sis, but this is hard. I knew you
needed all of us.”

“You didn’t call Daniel, too?”

Amy grinned broadly. “Love our big brother, but no. This is
way out of his league.”

Mia stood in front of me. “I feel responsible for all of
this, Lea. I’m so sorry.”

Mia had been so happy since meeting Lex. I didn’t want her to
feel bad. “You didn’t do this to me, sweetie. I went to your boyfriend’s club
because I wanted to go. I’m a grown woman. This is all on me, not you.”

“How about I put on a pot of tea?” Misty asked.

“Screw that, girlfriend.” Amy walked into my kitchen, which
was open to the living room. “This calls for adult beverages.” She opened a
couple of cabinets. “Where’s your booze, sis?”

Even though my heart was in tatters, I was happy to have my
sisters and cousins with me. It didn’t take the pain away, but it did make it
more tolerable, at least for the moment. “If I have any, it’s in the cabinet
next to the sink.”

Amy pulled out a couple of bottles of wine, one white and
one red. Her arm went to the back of the cabinet. “Come to mama.” Her hand came
back with a bottle of tequila.

“Are we sure this is what Lea needs right now?” Misty asked
in her most motherly tone.

“She’s a big girl, cousin. We all are.” Amy laughed. “You
could use a few shots yourself to loosen you up, Misty, if you ask me.”

“I’m not asking you,” she barked back. “And I’ll have you
know I’ve drank margaritas before. Several times.”

“Sounds promising. Shot glasses, Lea?”

“Wall cabinet to the left of the stove.”

Amy nodded, pulling out five tiny glasses. “Misty, you
game?”

Misty looked directly in my eyes. “If Lea is, I am.”

“I’ll have a shot.” I tried to mask my agony but even I
could hear the suffering in my tone. “What can it hurt now?”

With Amy’s encouragement, we all did three shots of the
liquid gold. I was beginning to feel fuzzy around the edges. The pain was still
there in the background, but the tequila helped me keep it back. Still, I knew
if I let myself, I could succumb to another round of tears for the loss I felt.
My company talked about several ways to get me out of my funk. They even
started planning a trip to the Caribbean. I nodded and smiled, drifting back
into my quiet despair. Nothing would ever be the same for me, no matter how
much each of them said it would. Reed and Kane had changed me forever. I knew
no man could ever open me up the way they had. The vibrancy of the life I’d
peaked at with Reed and Kane was gone. The only future I could expect now was
dull, gray, and so very cold.

Another knock on the door and the chatter around me stopped.

In a hushed tone, I threatened, “Amy, I swear if you open
that door I will never forgive you.”

From the other side of the door, a voice I recognized was a
relief.

“Mia, open the door,” Lex stated flatly.

“Ask him if he’s alone,” Misty requested. I hadn’t thought
about the possibility that Reed and Kane might be with him, so I was glad that
she had.

“Are you by yourself, Lex?” Mia asked.

“Yes.”

Mia swung the door open. “Hi, sweetheart.”

Lex stood in the doorway looking stunningly sexy in jeans
and a black sweater. “Did you tell Lea what I have planned?”

“What plan?” I snapped.

He held up his hand but didn’t turn away from Mia.

“No, Sir. I did just what you said and waited for you to
come.”

He leaned in and kissed her. “That’s my, baby.”

Ella stood up and extended her hand in her normal corporate
flair. “You must be the guy that swept my cousin off her feet.”

“Yes, I am. You’re Ella, right?” He took her hand and shook
it.

I could tell Ella was impressed that he knew her name. “The
one and only. I’m happy to meet you.”

“That remains to be seen, Ella.” Lex looked at my youngest
sister next. “You are?”

“Amy. But I bet you already knew that, too, didn’t you?” She
smiled and took his hand.

“So that means you must be Mia’s sister.” Lex offered his
hand to Misty.

Misty nodded but didn’t take it.

The corners of Lex’s mouth curled up. “Just like I
imagined.”

Then he turned to me. “Hello, Lea.”

I choked out, “Hi, Lex. This is more of a female party. I’m
not sure why you’re here.”

He sat down on the travel chest that was doubling as my
coffee table. He grabbed both my hands. “You’re about to find out. In fact, all
of you are.”

I’m not sure if it was the tequila or the fatigue, but I
couldn’t argue with him. I wanted to hear him out.

The others must’ve been in the same frame of mind, as all I
could hear was my own breath.

Mia came and sat beside him. He handed my left hand to her
to hold while keeping my right hand in his.

Trembling, I said, “Tell me, please.”

Lex nodded. “Okay. First, I know Kane screwed up with you.”

“No. It’s not like that, Lex.”

“Quiet, Lea. Hear me out. Kane came to me and told me what
happened. I found it odd that he took things too far with you since he and Reed
are the best trainers I have at the club. Sex shouldn’t have been on the table
for your second lesson. Not yet. I’d made it clear to both of them what I
expected with you.”

“What was that?”

“To test you and see if you and your cousin here had similar
tastes.” He patted Mia on the leg. “I thought you might be like her the second
I met you, Lea. You’re a submissive, all right.”

“This is crazy talk,” Misty snapped. “I can’t believe any of
this.”

Lex turned to her but didn’t say a word. Apparently, his
stare alone was enough to silence Misty.

After what seemed like minutes, Lex turned his eyes back to
me. “Like I was saying, I’d set up your training in a very specific order. Reed
followed my instructions for your first lesson, though he told me it was very
difficult for him.

“How?” I recalled how amazing it had been to surrender to
him and feel his paddle and hand on my ass. “I did what he said that night.
Every command.”

Lex snorted. “You’re definitely a sub. Yes, you did. Reed
found it difficult to follow my instructions. He wanted to make love to you the
moment you two were alone in the training room, but he was able to keep his
head. That would’ve been the end of it if he hadn’t fucked up when he came here
last night.”