Legacy of Secrets 01-Cursed Secrets (5 page)

The horrifying things stated about her made my blood boil. How could a girl so young be capable of something so cruel? The articles never stated her full name, but few vied for her innocence. For people to actually believe she’d killed them was appalling. I printed the articles, including the picture of her family, and searched again just for Lia.

Countless pieces appeared about everything from winning spelling bees and talent shows to being admitted to the mental health facility for delusions and violent behavior. The last article showed another picture of Lia, when she was 14, leaving the facility with her grandparents. The unmistakable look of desperation and agony in her eyes made me long to hold her. Tons of people flocked around the gates, trying to catch a glimpse. I shuddered.

I couldn’t bear to read anymore. A feeling too intense for words struck me. For so long I’d been incapable of truly caring about anything, but I found myself wanting to protect her. I almost felt human again, and with it came the human desires. I couldn’t cross that line with her. Did I want to cross the line? No, her life was too important to ruin
.

I grabbed all of the articles, retrieved my ID, and headed home. I hoped Lia would be awake. I needed to see her. I raced from state to state, mulling over everything I’d found. She couldn’t find out about my snooping. I would have to tell her at some point, but only when I knew she would understand.

I raced into the cabin and placed my papers in the safe. I showered quickly, dressed in running clothes, and sprinted off toward her house. As I neared, the sound of her rapid heart shook me, causing my fangs to descend. I hadn’t hunted it nearly two days, clearly it was time.

I changed course and found a homeless woman restlessly protecting her territory. I fell behind her silently, covering her mouth, and found her pulsing jugular. The venom dripped heavily in my mouth, all too willing for fresh blood. I drank greedily and placed the woman down on her makeshift bed. I left her some money and headed back to Lia.

Again I listened and smiled when I heard her singing. It sounded almost like she was dancing. Fighting the urge to appear at her window, I resigned to calling instead, hoping she wouldn’t make me wait long.

Lia

The exercise was invigorating. Since I couldn’t go outside, the best way to occupy my time was good old fashioned aerobics. I was nearly done with my set when the phone rang. I pulled my headphones off and looked at the time.
Who the hell would be calling at midnight?
When his name flashed on the caller ID I almost fell over. I didn’t think he’d actually call back. I was glad to be wrong.

“Hello?” I asked tentatively.

“Good evening. How was your day?”

“Boring. I laid around reading and engorging myself on junk food; nothing too important. How was yours?”

“Educational. You sound out of breath are you alright?”

“Oh, yeah. I decided to work off the beer and chips I ate this afternoon,” I laughed nervously.

He chuckled, “Well then, if you’re about done, I’m waiting outside to take a walk with you. Or if you would like for me to come up we can exercise together?” he teased.

“Um, wait you’re here? Like, right now?” I ran to the window.

“Yes, I’m by the back door. I would very much like it if you would accompany me. If you don’t want to I can leave,” he sounded disappointed.

“No, no I will come down. Just give me a minute to clean up and I’ll be right there.”

“You don’t have to change, it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing honestly.”

“Um, ok then. I’ll be right down,” I said nervously and disconnected.
             

Splashing some water on my face, I debated. If he didn’t mind me sweaty and out of breath then who was I to deny him? I shrugged and raced down the stairs as quietly as I could and out the back door. I saw him standing in the glow of the moon and had to remind myself to breathe. He looked fabulous in his designer clothes, but even better in his v-neck white cotton tee and gray sweatpants. He looked rugged. I swallowed hard.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he said smiling brightly when I finally reached him.

“I didn’t expect to see you so soon. Did something happen on your trip?” I asked curiously.

“No, I just decided to come back early and since I was in the neighborhood I figured you wouldn’t mind the company. If you want me to leave I will. I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“No, really it’s fine. I’m just surprised. It’s not every day that I have people wanting to spend time with me. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so lame,” I shook my head. Stupid.

“Please stop apologizing. Shall we walk?” he offered me his arm and I took it, smiling to myself.

“So, how was your trip educational? Was it for school or something?”

“No, it was a personal trip. I have some distant family across the country that I visit from time to time. I’ve thought about buying property there so I don’t have to stay in hotels all the time. It can be quite inconvenient.”

“Oh. Well I’m sure your family enjoyed seeing you,” I said solemnly. I missed mine so much. I still hoped I would wake up and realize the last ten years was just an exceptionally vivid nightmare.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what made you move here? Away from your family?” I stopped walking abruptly. I wasn’t sure if I was ready yet or if I could even trust him.

“It’s a long and, uh, painful story. Let’s just say that some bad things happened, I was blamed for it, and my grandparents decided that I needed to get away,” I took my arm from his and walked a few steps ahead. Forcing away the wave of pain wasn’t easy, but it would have been worse for him to see. He grabbed my hand and the electric shock startled me. I winced and turned toward him.

“If you aren’t ready to talk about it, that’s okay. I just want you to know that I can feel your pain. I don’t mean figuratively, Lia. I can
actually
feel it. Each emotion is projected somehow. I know you’ve been hurt. I know you’re afraid. I just don’t want you to be afraid of me,” he stared into my eyes as if he could see my soul.

“Well I could apologize for making you feel that way, but it would be wasted breath. I can’t control it. I don’t even know what
it
is. The only way for it not to happen is to pretty much shut everything off. It’s nice that you don’t run away screaming, but I’ll never stop worrying that I might hurt you,” I started walking again, nonchalantly removing my hand from his.

“How do you mean?” he quickly caught up.

“Well for example, when I pushed Dallas away, I sort of used the fear to my advantage. I amplified it to a point that I could force him away. Fear is a bit easier to deal with. It’s when I’m angry or upset that things get hard. Those are my strongest emotions, I think,” he watched me intently as I demonstrated with my hands.

“I see. Well I’ll do my best never to make you angry or upset then. Keep in mind I am a man and that’s not always easy,” he winked. I smiled and stopped walking.

“What is it? Did I say something?”

“No. I was just wondering why you want to be my friend. Why even try, knowing all of this?”

“I believe all of us have secrets. No matter how big or small, they have the capability of changing lives. I don’t feel that you and I are that different. Kindred spirits if you will. Sometimes the good in people outweighs the bad, or the unexplained in your case. I’m not God, so who am I to judge how you were made?”

“Hmm, I guess I can live with that. So what about you? Have you always lived here?” I asked.

“For the most part, I traveled a bit for a few years before coming back to go to school. I wanted to learn about other parts of the world.”

“Where have you been? I’ve always wanted to go to Europe and see the countries some of my ancestors are from, mostly Germany. I’ve heard the people there aren’t very nice, though.”

“I’ve been to Germany. They aren’t much different than us minus the language, of course. I’ve also been all throughout Europe and South America and Mexico. Each place had its own flair and charming features. The United States is beautiful, but our country is also young. Being able to see the history in some of those other countries was very lovely,” his eyes lit up.

“It sounds amazing. I hope to be able to see some of those places one day. My priorities lie here though, with Nana and Pops. I owe them my life. They’ve done so much for me.”

“Most people wouldn’t think twice about leaving it all behind. How do you deal with it?” he stopped walking and stared into my eyes again, searching for something I wasn’t sure he’d find. I fidgeted, forcing my eyes away from his face. His height helped.

“I guess I just try not to think about it. Some days are better than others. It helps when I can keep my mind or my time occupied with other things. I usually read a lot, listen to music, or exercise until I’m tired enough to sleep. Sometimes even then it’s hard to stop the wheels from turning. If I think about where I want to go versus where I’ve been there’s nothing there that hurts.”

“Will you tell me why it’s hard for you to sleep?”

I laughed nervously, “I, uh, have this recurring dream. It’s about the night my parents died. Basically I’m reliving it over and over again. I know they say that a recurring dream is trying to tell you something, but so far it’s nothing I don’t already know. I was there. I lived it. Yet every time, it feels like it’s happening all over again. Nothing ever changes and I’m forced to remember it for the rest of my life,” I turned away as a shudder rippled through me.

“I’m so sorry, Lia. I wish there was something I could do. Come on, let’s get you back home. If you’d like I can bring you to my cabin tomorrow? I live right off the lake so we can go swimming or something. We can have lunch and do some stuff to try to take your mind off things. Would you like that?”

“I really don’t know what to say. I don’t want you to pity me, Christian,” my pain slowly turned to irritation.

“No, no, no it is not pity! Friends don’t meet in the street in the middle of the night. Friends do things together no matter where or when. If I only showed up here at night to talk with you, sooner or later you’d think I was ashamed of our friendship. I want to prove that it doesn’t matter where we go, my decision won’t change,” he looked frantic and I smiled crookedly.

“Well, I will go as long as you promise it’s not a ploy to get me alone and take advantage of me,” I said so seriously the panicked look returned to his face. I couldn’t help but to laugh out loud.

“I’m joking, Christian. I know you wouldn’t do that. I just like your reaction,” I shoved him lightly and the electric shock pulsed again.
How does he not feel that?

“I’m glad my torment is so amusing to you. I have a feeling you aren’t quite as fragile as you seem,” he challenged.

“Why, little ole me? I’m not sure where you get your information, mister, but I’ve never heard such a thing in all my days. You sir, are nothin’ but trouble,” I said in my best southern drawl. He laughed at my attempt of innocence and I beamed. When he looked at me his eyes sparkled.

“You’re glowing again. It’s like a pale bluish white. Simply amazing,” he was in awe. I blushed and took a few deep breaths, letting the feelings melt away.

“You’re truly mesmerizing,” his voice held such sincerity it made me squirm.

“Well, thank you for asking me to come with you. I actually had fun. Good night, Christian. Let me know you got home safely, okay?”

“Will do. Get some rest, Lia. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he smiled.

I waved good bye and stepped inside. I made my way upstairs, plopping heavily down on the bed. Spending time with Christian wasn’t so bad. I didn’t mind talking about the bad stuff so much because he didn’t judge me. For the first time since I moved to Colorado, I felt like my old self. Almost.

I opened my eyes slowly, adjusting to light dancing across the ceiling. A smile spread across my face. The night had been peaceful; no sweating, crying, or screaming. Nothing but darkness until the sun greeted me, casting prisms of light through my window. My thoughts shifted to Christian. I wondered what he was doing, if he ever had bad dreams. He said he didn’t think we were that different.
Right before he invited me over!
             

I threw myself out of bed and into the shower. Nana and Pops were running errands, which meant I was free to act like a nutcase in peace. I wasn’t very good with meeting people or socializing much in general. I used to be, but that was before.

I stumbled back into my room and sifted through what seemed like endless clothes. I hadn’t touched half of it in years, most still had tags, but I had a reason to wear something new. Frantically, I searched for the black bikini I bought a few years ago. It was simple with accented silver threads in the top and a cute outline of the moon on the front, also in silver stitching. After burying myself almost to my shoulders in boxes, I finally found it and came up for air.

I threw the bathing suit on the bed and searched for some shorts and a shirt. Toward the back of the closet I found a button up shirt with swirls of silver that curved around swatches of blues and greens. I smiled, remembering my vintage phase, and threw it on the bed as well. The shorts I picked were cutoffs I’d made from my favorite pants; faded dark blue, the pockets hung lower than the hem, and they hugged my butt just so. I had to admit, I knew how to clean up.