Lessons from David: How to Be a Giant Killer (18 page)

This doesn’t make much of an impact on kids. They don’t believe they’re going to run out of gas, have a flat, or whatever. But even if they believed that they might, they look at these consequences and wonder what the big difference is between 11 o’clock and 11:15. They just don’t understand!

I might not have made this clear to my own children—it took me awhile to figure it out myself—but the real issue wasn’t the possible consequences; it was a violation of my trust. It’s not that in those fifteen minutes the whole world could turn bad and the car convert back into a pumpkin. The issue was that I didn’t owe them anything. It was not a God-given right that they be allowed to drive the family car and stay out as late as they want. It was a privilege. I had extended grace to them and trusted them, but they didn’t honor me. They offended me because they didn’t honor my trust. If I said eleven o’clock, and they pushed it to 11:15, the real issue was that they’d broken my trust—not these other things.

The big deal is that they were trusted. By not honoring that trust, they show that they can’t be trusted. They have proven that they don’t really respect their parents and they’re going to do whatever they want. And if their parents say eleven, they will push it fifteen minutes or so. That’s the way it is with God. That is what’s really wrong with sin.

It’s Personal

You could argue that substance abuse is wrong because of its consequences. “Drugs and alcohol will damage your brain and your body. They will cost you money, and maybe even your job. You’ll get into shame and be rejected.” In reality, you’re miserable and looking for an escape, willing to waste money and put your health on the line. You’re saying that you are so miserable that you’re willing to run all of these risks just for a few moments of being high, numb, and euphoric so you don’t feel your problems. You’re turning to a pill, a needle, or a bottle to alleviate your problems instead of turning to God. You’re using this substance as a substitute for the Lord. That’s what is offensive to Him. It’s not just the health risk or the fact that you could have a car accident and kill someone. These things are factors, but the root issue is that you aren’t letting God meet your needs. You’re trying to get them met some other way, and that’s what grieves Him!

When you start looking at sin this way, it totally changes your perspective. The consequences no longer matter to you. Whether you can get by with something or not doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if anyone else is around or not. You have a personal standard on the inside of you that will hold you up in any circumstance because it’s a personal deal between you and God.

That’s how it was with Joseph. He was sold into slavery, bought by Potiphar in Egypt, and worked as a slave in his house. But because he was faithful to the Lord, God gave him favor. Joseph was promoted, but he caught the attention of his master’s wife. She came and repeatedly tried to entice Joseph into committing adultery with her. Even though she pressed him, he wouldn’t give in. Finally, one day Joseph declared:

How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?

Genesis 39:9

If Joseph had been looking at his situation through eyes of moral relativity, applying “situational ethics,” he could have reasoned, “I’m a slave. I was forsaken and sold into slavery. God hasn’t done me any good!” In bitterness, he could have decided, “I’ll just indulge myself. How could I ever get caught? Mrs. Potiphar certainly isn’t going to tell her husband. That would put her own head on the line.” If Joseph had only been looking at whether he could get by with this, he probably would have indulged himself.

Stand Up or Stand Down?

But Joseph knew that though indulging himself with Potiphar’s wife would have been a sin against Potiphar, the real issue was that it was a sin against God. This same logic kept me pure as a young American soldier in Vietnam while most of the other people I knew just lived like animals. I was in a company of two hundred guys and about once every six weeks, we had what was called “stand down.” All of the frontline troops were brought to the rear for all of the booze and sex they wanted. They brought in Asian showgirls who were nothing but glorified prostitutes. After the “show,” they would give them several bunkers so the men could have all the sex they wanted. Out of the two hundred guys in my company, I’m the only one I’m aware of who didn’t participate!

One of the guys in our company was a fellow I had grown up with back home. We had even gone to the same church together. He wasn’t a bad kid or anything like that, but when I talked to him about this activity, he just gave me the same logic that most guys used. He said, “I’m probably going to get killed next week anyway. What does it matter? I’m on the other side of the world and these are prostitutes. Nobody will ever know what I’ve done. Besides, everybody else is doing it!” Due to this reasoning, the vast majority of my fellow soldiers did things they wouldn’t have normally done if they had been back home in the United States.

It didn’t matter to me whether anybody else ever knew what I did or not, because God was there. I had a personal relationship with the Lord and I couldn’t just sin against Him that way. That’s what kept me from giving in.

God reproved David by saying, “David, how could you have done these things and despised Me?” That’s what brought David back. The Lord didn’t rebuke him based on consequences alone. God was saying, “David, at one time you loved Me!” The New Testament terminology for this is leaving your first love (Revelation 2:4). God was saying to David, “At one time, you used to adore Me. I satisfied you and gave you all these things. But now you’ve moved away from Me and you’re satisfying your desires through lust, instead of love.” That’s the reasoning God used, and David got the message.

The Heart of the Matter

David repented of his sin with Bathsheba, as recorded in Psalm 51.

Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

Psalm 51:1-4

Notice how David said, “Against You, and You only have I sinned.” In one sense, that’s not right. He sinned against Bathsheba and Uriah. He opened up a door for sexual sin and murder to work in his family. David caused a lot of trouble for many people. But these consequences were really only side issues. The heart of the matter was that David needed to repent and come back into proper relationship with God.

Chapter 19
Consequences

Although consequences aren’t the main issue, they do exist. David’s sin unleashed a barrage of negative consequences, and we would do well to learn from them.

Since David let this sexual immorality into his life, I believe it had access into his entire family. His firstborn son, Amnon, lusted after and raped his half-sister, Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1-20). Due to this Absalom, David’s third oldest son and Tamar’s full brother, became incensed at Amnon. It took him four years, but eventually Absalom brought vengeance upon Amnon and killed him (2 Samuel 13:28-29). So David opened up a door that allowed sexual sin and murder to influence his own children.

Absalom fled Jerusalem and lived in self-imposed exile for three years due to fear of what his father David might do (2 Samuel 13:38). When he finally came back, David still wouldn’t talk to him for another two years (2 Samuel 14:21-24, 28). Absalom became upset and finally got an audience with his father, the king. David kissed him and hugged him, but apparently there wasn’t total reconciliation (2 Samuel 14:33).

When his father didn’t respond to him the way he wanted, Absalom began a process of stealing the people’s hearts away from the king and to himself (2 Samuel 15:6). David allowed this treason to go on unchallenged. Finally, Absalom tried to kill David and take over the kingdom. In the ensuing civil war, thousands and thousands of people died (2 Samuel 15-17).

When David fled Jerusalem as Absalom and his forces approached, he left some of his concubines behind to guard his house. Absalom set up a tent on the roof of the house, went in, and had sexual relations with his father’s concubines in the sight of all the people (2 Samuel 16:22).

Although the main issue was David’s relationship with God, his sin caused some major consequences for many people! It opened up his son to lust and, therefore, one of his daughters to rape. It opened up another son to murder. It caused a civil war. It also resulted in his own concubines being defiled in the sight of all the people. On and on the list could go!

Defiled and Destroyed

Ahithophel was the one who counseled Absalom to have sexual relations with his father’s concubines (2 Samuel 16:20-21). Back then, when a new king took over a kingdom from another, it was customary for him to take the wives and/or concubines of the previous king and have sexual relations with them. The logic behind it was that if the previous king could have done anything about it, he would have. This signaled the fact that the previous king was out and the new king was in. It was a symbolic gesture demonstrating the total impotence of the previous king. It proved that the new king was now fully in power.

Although this was often customary, perhaps Absalom could have done something else to solidify the support of the people. Surely there was something else he could have done to communicate that this was a fight to the death with no chance of reconciliation. Why would Ahithophel—who was reputedly always right and never missed it—counsel Absalom to publicly defile David’s concubines?

In 2 Samuel 23:34, the Bible reveals that Eliam was the son of Ahithophel. Over in 2 Samuel 11:3 (the passage where David’s adultery is chronicled), Bathsheba is listed as “the daughter of Eliam.” This would make Ahithophel Bathsheba’s grandfather! From the very day when Ahithophel first saw David defile his granddaughter and kill Uriah, he nurtured bitterness and unforgiveness in his heart toward the king. While brooding over this for years and years, Ahithophel had been waiting for an opportunity to get even with David. I’m sure this contributed to his motivation to counsel Absalom in this way.

David’s sin was costly! It let lust into Amnon and cost him his life. It cost Tamar her virginity. Absalom became bitter and caused a civil war. Ahithophel was polluted with unforgiveness. These concubines were defiled and their lives destroyed. All of these things were consequences of David’s sin.

Man Conscious

Just because I’m emphasizing that the root of David’s sin was his personal rebellion toward and lack of dependence upon God, doesn’t mean that sin doesn’t have consequences. Sin will take you further than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay. In light of the consequences alone, you don’t want to sin. But you need to recognize and understand that sin is a transgression against the Lord. When you sin, you aren’t trusting and believing God.

It doesn’t matter if the people you steal from can afford it, are rich, and have insurance. The issue is that you aren’t trusting God as your Source. You’re doing it your way instead. You’re imposing your wisdom above God’s wisdom. It doesn’t matter if you can commit sexual immorality without contracting a sexually transmitted disease, becoming pregnant, or getting caught. The issue is that you would be sinning against God.

This understanding will make a huge difference in your level of integrity. You’ll get to where you operate in integrity whether anyone is watching, checking, or holding you accountable or not. Sad to say, most people don’t live this way.

I actually read an article about some guys who put some money in a wallet and laid it on the sidewalk. In the wallet was a name and address, all the information needed to return the wallet to its original owner. They laid it on the sidewalk and then watched to see what people would do. Only about forty percent of the people actually operated in integrity and turned the wallet in. All the others just took it. When they did, the guys stopped them and asked them why they didn’t turn it in. Most people answered, “If I had known someone was watching, I would have turned it in.” In other words, situational ethics came into play. They thought,
Am I going to get caught? Will there be any consequences?
It’s not because they were God-conscious. It’s because they were man-conscious.

Serve the Lord

A person who is only doing what’s right because it’s expected of them and they’re being held accountable for it, doesn’t have a heart after God. True morality and integrity operates whether people see it or not. God’s Word says we are to serve…

In singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; with good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men.

Ephesians 6:5-7

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

Colossians 3:23-24

In other words, it doesn’t matter whether your employer knows that you are cutting your break short and working an extra five minutes. It doesn’t matter whether you ever get rewarded from people or not. You need to boil everything down to doing it as unto the Lord, and not unto people.

My personal relationship with God is what kept me pure as a young soldier in the midst of many temptations in Vietnam. It didn’t matter to me if my family or anybody else I looked up to knew what I was doing or not—God knew! And my relationship with Him caused me to have a level of integrity that most of the people over there at that time didn’t have. What a powerful truth!