Let Me Love You (Love #4) (26 page)

“You want to explain what the fuck I just saw?” I seethe.

Eli cocks an eyebrow. He can’t be serious.

“You were just kissing my motherfucking girl, Eli!” I lose my shit and start spitting words as fast as I can. I’m pissed, beyond pissed. “What the fuck? I leave for a few weeks and you swoop in for the fucking kill?” I bang my fist on my desk. I try to take a few deep breaths. I know I need to calm the fuck down, but I can’t, there’s no calming down from this. No way. Those breaths don’t work and I react. In one swoop I knock all the shit that’s on my desk to the floor. Glass from the picture frames shatter, paperwork everywhere. I don’t care. I hope it’s all fucking trashed beyond repair, just like me.

“Fuck!” I spin on him, getting in his face.

“You
fucking
promised you wouldn’t ever go after her. I fucking told you shit was complicated between us but you couldn’t help yourself, huh?”

I grip his shirt in my hands, ready to lay shit down when Jaylinn wedges her little body between ours and pushes against my chest.

“Stop it!” Jaylinn yells.

“You’re going to let her defend you?” I fume, not even looking at her. I’m staring at Eli, ready to wipe that goddamn look of his face.

Eli smirks, the mother fucker smirks. “You about done?”

“Oh,” I laugh bitterly. “I’m just getting started, asshole.” I lunge for him, my hands trying to get a hold of his shirt again.

Jaylinn pushes against my chest. “What the hell are you talking about?” Her eyes are wild with pain and fear. “I’m not your damn girl, you gave up that right!”

“I fucking saw you.” I yell at her, losing my temper. “I fucking saw you!”

Eli huffs, “Whatever you think you saw, it didn’t happen.”

“Fuck you! I saw it with my own eyes.” Reaching over Jaylinn, I shove Eli’s shoulder. “You kissed her.”

Eli, who is still just as cool as he was when he walked in here, takes a step back shaking his head. “I would never do that to you.”

Jaylinn gasps and pushes me hard against the wall. “I can’t believe you would
ever
think that I could do that to you.” Her nostrils flare. “You can’t stand to see me with anyone else and yet you can’t be with me! It’s one or the other Cooper, you want me or you don’t. You can’t have both.”

Jaylinn turns on her heel and storms from the room. I glance over to Eli who’s just shaking his head. “You better go after her.” He kicks the stapler out of his way. “And just for the record, I would
never
ever go after someone that is yours. I’m not that guy.”

Eli shakes his head and walks out.

“Well fuck!”

I run back to the table, stumbling along the way. I knew I should have never listened to Eli. My heart was trying to tell me that it wouldn’t work but my brain didn’t seem to care, I’d have tried anything.

I grab my purse from the booth and dash out of the club without saying goodbye to anyone. I walk past the bouncers who are talking among themselves. I walk around the corner of the building so that I’m out of sight before the tears start. Digging into my purse, I find my cell phone and swipe the screen to unlock it, then click on the internet icon and look up a number for a cab company.

No way can I face Eli after that shit show and Cooper is just out of the question. Just thinking about it pisses me off to the point I’m scowling at nothing.

I also don’t dare think to call Hunter because he’d just lose his shit and I know he’s trying to stay out of our mess. Hailey and Mason are too busy to bother. My mom’s in bed since it’s so late. The only choice I have is to call for a cab.

I call the first place I find, holding the phone up to my ear with a shaking hand. It rings once, twice and then my phone is pulled from my hand. I spin and my face is inches away from Cooper’s. He’s so close that all I would need to do is purse my lips and we’d be kissing.

“I’m sorry,” he says, watching me closely, his eyes scanning my face, lips, eyes, everywhere.

I take a deep breath, “I can’t believe you, Cooper. After everything…” I take a step back so that I can get my wits about me. “After everything we’ve been through do you honestly think I would go after your friend? I’m trying to move on Cooper, you let me go.”

Cooper’s head falls forward and his shoulder’s slump. “I fucked up.”

I roll my eyes, “You can say that again.”

We stand there, not looking at each other for a long few minutes.

Cooper’s hand grazes mine. “Come home with me?”

I yank my hand away, pissed that he’s jumped to conclusions. I fold my arms across my chest and turn my back to him.

After a minute or two Cooper presses his large muscular body against my back. “I’m sorry. I fucked up. Come home with me so that we can talk about this in private.” He says softly against my ear.

I can’t fight against him. Not when it’s him that I really want. With hesitation, I slowly nod my head and agree to leave with him. I have no idea what will happen once we go back to his house but I’m willing to at least see.

When we arrive at Cooper’s I’m a ball of nerves. I can’t sit still, I’m jumpy and the butterflies in my stomach are making me feel sick.

We’ve barely talked since opening night of
Fierce
. I don’t know what more there is to say to each other. He can’t move on, I can’t live in the past.

Cooper unlocks the door and allows me to walk in first. I head towards the living room but he grabs my hand. He’s leading me towards the bedroom. I can’t go in there.

I dig my heels into the carpet, “Uh, I’m not going in there.”

Cooper yanks me towards him and I collide into his strong chest. “You are.” He states.

I hate his tone. I pull my arm back. “I’m not.”

We’re at an impasse; one of us has to give in and it’s not going to be me. Cooper stares intently at me, trying to make me feel small, but I’m not backing down.

He looks up to the ceiling and sighs, “We
need
to talk. I need…” Cooper swallows hard. “I need the real and raw side of you. I can’t have you hiding from me.” Cooper takes a step closer to me. “Please.” He begs.

I look down to the floor as a war wages inside me. I’ll be damned if I don’t and damned if I do. He’s the only one that can put my broken heart back together again but he can also smash it into pieces and it’ll never be whole again. I’ll never be able to live with ‘the what ifs’ so I give in.

“Don’t make me regret it.”

“You have my word.”

I take the first step forward to his room. When I walk in, I flip the light switch on like no time has ever passed. This room is comfortable, a safe haven for me. Or at least it was.

I place my purse down on the bed and slip my shoes off before sitting on the bed near the end. Cooper shuts the door behind him and kicks off his shoes. He walks over to his dresser and places his keys, phone and wallet on it. He turns to look at me over his shoulder.

“Strip.”

I involuntary shiver. It’s such a little word with such a powerful punch.

I’m not caving in that easy. He needs to work for this. I look down at my finger nails, acting like I didn’t hear what he said.

Cooper growls, “Jay,” I raise my eyebrows and look over at him. “Strip.”

I shake my head.

Cooper stomps across the room and lifts my chin up, “Strip. I’m not asking again or I’ll do it myself.”

I bite the corner of my lip, secretly loving the authority that’s rolling off him. “You strip.” I toss back at him.

His eyes go wide and dark, “Fine.”

And just like that he gave into me. Isn’t that what I wanted before?

Cooper reaches behind him and pulls his shirt off and tosses it on the floor beside me. My eyes roam from his well-defined V, across the valley of his abs, to his impressive pecs, and my jaw drops to the floor. My ring, my trust ring, is hanging from his gold chain.

I stand up and clasp it in my hand and Cooper’s hand reaches up to cover mine. He doesn’t look at me, but looks down at our hands before letting go and undoing his jeans. They fall to floor with the rest of the clothes.

I haven’t let go of the ring, I feel like my hand is super glued there. He’s had a piece of me everywhere he’s gone.

“Strip.” Cooper urges with a nod.

I jump, lost in my own world. I let go of the ring, unbutton my blouse and wiggle out of my jeans.

We are both standing before each other in our underwear. Cooper entwines our fingers together and leads me to the bed. He pulls back the covers and allows me to climb in. I scoot over to the middle and wait for him. After a little moving around on both of our parts we finally fit together like a puzzle piece.

Cooper nuzzles his nose in my neck and whispers the three words I’ve been longing to hear. “I love you.” Cooper kisses my jaw. “I love you so fucking much it hurts to breathe, Jay.”

My body hums to life and starts to shake at his admission.

“I thought I was doing what was best for you.” Cooper leans up on an elbow and gazes into my eyes. “I was fucking wrong. So wrong.” He leans down and kisses me gently on the lips. All the fight that I once had left my body the second I saw my ring around his neck. “I was afraid. I didn’t think we would survive if I had made love to you.” Cooper sighs. “All I used to see was Kevin hovering over you when I broke the door down. I couldn’t get the picture out of my head. The problem was me Jay, all me.”

I reach up and cup Cooper’s cheek. “I know, but I wasn’t helping either. You picked up the pieces for me and that should have been enough but it wasn’t. I pushed you for something you weren’t ready for.”

Cooper crashes his lips to mine, roughly at first and then he slows it down a notch. I run my hands through his hair.

“Cooper,” I wait until I’ve got his full attention. “Just let me love you.”

“Okay.” He says in a husky voice. “One day at a time, we’ll get through this together. No more fighting against each other.”

I nod in agreement and suck my bottom lip into my mouth.

Cooper groans, “Stop that.”

I smile sweetly, loving the fact that I can still affect him.

His face grows serious again. He swallows a few times before he finds the words he’s looking for. “You didn’t…” He can’t even finish his sentence.

I let him sweat it out for a minute or two. I keep his gaze pinned to mine.

I shake my head and say, “I haven’t.”

Cooper exhales and his body relaxes. “Can I ask you what was really going on with you and Eli? I know you two have been hanging out a lot recently.”

I look away and then back to him again. “We were throwing you a curve ball.”

Cooper growls and braces himself over me. “A curveball, huh?”

I nod.

“I’ll show you a curve ball.”

Cooper takes his time getting familiar with my body again. He starts from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

“Please,” I beg, not even sure what I’m begging for.

“I’m sorry Jay,” he says, pulling back to look at me. He looks sincere, as if stopping right now isn’t what he wants at all. I can see that, and feel it. “I’m not saying no, I’m just…” he pauses. He shows me his intentions with a kiss, so pure, so…Cooper. “I’m just saying not tonight. I want to plan something special for you,” his lips find mine again, another deep meaningful kiss, “for me…” they’re back, sweet, tender, slow and torturous, “…for us.”

Suddenly I’m nervous but that outweighs the thought of us finally being together.

“I just can’t tonight. Not after everything. What we share needs to be between us and not when we’re feeling this raw.”

His words have me falling in love all over again.