Letters from Becca: A Contemporary Romance Fiction Novel (18 page)

John drove the family’s faded tan ‘66 Palomino Ford Ranch Wagon the entire way.  He hinted at where they were going, without telling them directly.  They knew their destination would have water, because they needed a swimsuit and fishing gear.  Beyond that, they kept asking for clues.  They played the alphabet game as they drove and sang with the radio to the songs they knew.  Becca sat in the back with William, who slept most of the way, sucking his thumb and grasping his bunny.  D.R. and Johnny sat up front with John.

“Canyon Lake!”  D.R. exclaimed, when he saw the mile marker sign.

John smiled.

The boys bounced in their seats.  “Mom, we’re going to Canyon Lake,” D.R. yelled turning, and kneeling on the seat.

Becca merely needed to make a circular motion with her finger, and he twisted and sat back down.  She glanced up at the rearview mirror to see John looking at her and smiling.

“You okay back there?” he asked.

Becca nodded, tucking a few stray strands of hair back under her bandana as she looked out the window.  John glanced at her in the rearview mirror before turning his attention back to the road.

“Y,” Johnny yelled, “from Canyon Lake,” as he continued playing.

“You can’t pick Canyon because the Y is in the middle of the word,” D.R. said in a condescending tone.

“Can too, can’t I, Mom?” Johnny pleaded.

“That’s cheating,” D.R. corrected, matter-of-factly.  “There’s rules.”

“Mom,” Johnny whined.  “No fair.  We’re almost there, and Y and Z are the hardest letters.”

John looked down at the boys.  “Well, then, I guess we’ll just have to keep driving around until we find something that starts with a Y and a Z.”

D.R. and Johnny looked at each other, and right back at John.

“Why, I could drive for hours and hours until you guys find a Y and a Z, if you want,” he sighed dramatically.

D.R. looked at Johnny.  “I quit.  You win.”

Johnny raised his hands in triumph.  “I win, Mom!” he exclaimed.

“Mommy, I’m hungry,” D.R. whined, in order to interrupt his brother’s victory.  “When are we going to be there?”

“We’ll be there in a few minutes,” she informed them.  “However,” she said firmly, “everything has to be unloaded
before
we sit down to eat.  Is that understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” they replied in unison.

Three Dog Night came onto the radio and John began singing aloud. 
“Jeremiah was a bullfrog…was a good friend of mine.  I never understood a single word he said, but I helped him a-drink his wine…”

D.R. reached over and turned it up, and he and Johnny bounced and sang with John, all off-key.

John bobbed his head with them.  He glanced back at Becca in the rearview mirror.  He caught her looking at him, smiling.  He bounced his head returning the smile.  “C’mon Mommy.  Join in,” he encouraged her.  She narrowed her eyes at him, and turned away.  He looked at the boys; then back to the road.

Her demeanor softened as she watched him with the boys.  For the first time in months, she felt relaxed.  If only… Becca looked in the mirror.  She closed her eyes and imagined David looking back at her, watching her.  She smiled, seeing him wiggling his eyebrows and pointing with his eyes when he was hinting at being suggestive.  She could feel him undressing her with his eyes when he would just stare at her.  She missed his touch, his hands on her.  She missed…him.  She opened her eyes and caught John looking at her again.  All she could muster was a sad smile.  She looked down as William woke in her arms.  She looked into the eyes of her youngest and smiled.  These were the greatest gifts David had left her—her greatest treasures.

John turned into the drive of the resort and a few minutes later into the driveway of the secluded cabin he had selected for them.  The boys stood up by the dash and wiggled, very animated.

“This is awesome!”  D.R. cried out.  “Mom, look,” he said, pointing at the lake as John pulled to a stop beside a rustic cabin. 

“I see, sweetie,” she said, as William sat up straight and pointed.  “Everyone grab something to carry in,” Becca instructed as they all piled out of the wagon.

John looked at her and smiled, mischief in his eyes as he walked backward toward the lake.  He took off his shirt, and then slowly pulled off his shoes one at a time.  “Last one to the lake is a rotten egg,” he said, clapping his hands and motioning for them to come.  The boys slowly edged toward him, as they turned their eyes to their mom, caught in the dilemma.  William instantly crawled from her arms and was ahead of the others.  D.R. and Johnny looked at her with pleading eyes.  John made a pouty face and held up his hands and shrugged.

Becca cut her eyes at John.  “Fine, go on.”

John mouthed
thank you
before running backward as they rushed to the water’s edge.

“Not in your clothes,” she yelled after them as she slowly walked toward the water.  “You can leave on your shorts!”  They all ran onto the small boat dock, their bare feet slapping the old wood planks.  John waited for all of them to arrive, and then they stripped down to their shorts, dancing as they undressed.  John dove in sideways, with D.R. and Johnny jumping in on his heels.  William danced on the dock, struggling with his shorts.  He started to cry as Becca arrived.  “You’re fine, sweetie,” she chuckled, as she helped take off his shirt, shorts, and underwear.  She lifted him by his arms, and he began to giggle as John held up his hands.  “Naked toddler on the way,” she said as she tossed him into the water by John.

D.R. and Johnny laughed at her comment, then tried talking her into joining them.

Becca crossed her arms and watched them.  “Someone has to unload the car,” she said, giving them a stern look.

John looked at both the boys and nodded his head.  “Okay, guys.  We need to help your mom.”  The boys both pouted, and Johnny batted the water.  Johnny and D.R. tried to climb out, unsuccessfully, so Becca reached down to help them.  John handed William to her, and when he was safely on the dock, John reached up for her.  “A hand up, please.”

Becca reached down to pull him up, and instead he pulled her in with a shout.  D.R. and Johnny squealed with joy and jumped back in by their mom.  When she surfaced, her bandana was floating beside her.  John laughed, so she reached over and dunked him.  William was dancing on the dock again, so she moved closer for him to jump in.  He jumped in with a splash and then bobbed upright beside her.  She took him into her arms.  John dove, and then surfaced beside her and grabbed her from behind.  He swung them around and then held her in his lap as he played peek-a-boo with William from behind Becca’s head.  D.R. clapped his hands, so William jumped to him, and then to Johnny, and the two of them helped him to practice swimming back and forth between them.  John cradled Becca from behind as she leaned her head in the crook of his neck.

“Thank you,” she said softly, reaching up and petting his cheek.

John squeezed her tighter and kissed the side of her forehead.  It was turning into a perfect day.

Their days were filled with fishing, swimming, and camping delights, including s’mores over the campfire at night.  And sometimes even when it wasn’t night.  Becca had packed well, and they had everything they needed for a fun and safe vacation—well, everything except bug spray.  By the first night and the first bite, Becca realized her mistake.  By day two, they all looked like they had the measles.  They were all spotted on every visible part of their body, and they itched.  Oh, man, did they itch.  John stayed with the boys while Becca drove into town to look for the strongest mosquito repellant she could find, two fly swatters, and calamine lotion.  She was only gone an hour, but by the time she returned, John claimed exhaustion.  The boys were itchy and anxious and miserable and cranky—all four of them, much to Becca’s amusement.

Becca was in charge of breakfasts.  Sandwiched between two days of cereal was a full breakfast of hotcakes, scrambled eggs and sausage cooked over the fire.  Lunch included whatever they could throw together between two pieces of bread, and chips.  John was in charge of both the dinners.  The first night he and the boys roasted hot dogs on the end of sticks for which they had foraged in the woods.  For their final night there, in honor of David, they prepared a campfire favorite—homemade foil dinners.

David’s father, having been an Eagle Scout himself, raised David in scouting, so camping was a tradition in his family.  When he and John first became friends, David invited his new friend often, which suited John just fine, because it meant time away from his father.  After that David went in a different direction, following the Order of the Arrow in scouting.  By that time, John was working all the time and stopped going to meetings, but he was always invited camping when David went.  When he started his family, David became a Troop Leader and ultimately, a Scoutmaster.  And he passed on the traditions of scouting to his boys, except for William, who was only a Scout by proxy.

Therefore, they all knew what to do, including Becca.  Each of them shaped their mound of ground beef, then seasoned it to what they thought would be their preference.  They added cubed or whole potatoes, small half ears of corn, lots of butter and more seasoning, before wrapping them in heavy-duty foil.  All the boys helped build the fire, and then put their meals on the coals after lunch so they’d be ready for dinner.  Five hours later, they excitedly ate their prepared feasts, although they had to pick a few coals out that had worked their way in during the turning and constant rotating of the meals in the fire.

The only fishing they did was on day one.  The kids made so much noise (especially William, who didn’t yet have the concept of volume control,) that there wasn’t a fish for a hundred feet around them.  So they swam most of the time, mainly because their bites didn’t itch as much when they were in the water.  By the end of day two, it was apparent the boys were already exhausted.  Becca slathered their bites with calamine lotion, which offered some relief.  After William was down for the night, they played Monopoly.  Johnny quit after the first few rounds and fell asleep in Becca’s arms.  After D.R. had won, he said he was going to sleep and was good to his word, softly snoring within minutes.

John and Becca put up the board game together and Becca picked up toys and clothes, while John cleaned up the kitchen area.  They arrived at the same time on the front porch swing, collapsing into it together.  The swing creaked from their weight and the motion.  The moon shimmered over the lake, the toads and crickets and Cicadas songs accented by a few owls and night scavengers.  Becca crossed her feet as they rocked, looking out over the water.

“It’s so peaceful here,” she said, turning to John.

John stared off to his right, leaning against the side of the swing.

Becca nudged him with her elbow.  “John?”

John turned suddenly.

“I said, it’s peaceful here.”

John nodded and smiled.  “Yeah,” he agreed, resting his chin again on his thumb.

“John?” she asked.  “Are you okay?”

John looked up, sighing before turning to her.

“Oh, God, I know that look,” she said.  “You’re planning something.”

John looked at her, dropping his hand to hers, playing with her fingers.  “I was thinking,” he began, sighing again as he leaned forward.  “I’ve been thinking that I might move back to San Antonio.”

“Really?” she asked.  “What about your job?”

He looked down, still toying with her fingers.  “I can get another job.”

Becca chuckled.  “Why would you do that?”

John turned to her and looked into her eyes.  After a moment, she drew in a deep breath and moved her hand from his, as she brushed nothing in particular from her shorts.  She began to nod and chewed on her lips as she organized her thoughts.  John moved a couple of inches nearer to her.  “I would be closer, so I could be here for you.  For the boys.”

Becca looked down as they continued to rock.  “That’s really generous of you.”

“I want to be here for the boys,” John said, swallowing hard.  “For you.”

Becca turned to him.  “Still trying to rescue me?”

John looked down at his hands.  “Maybe,” he replied.  “And maybe I want to be here for you and the boys…for me.”

Becca nodded.  “Can we talk about this another time?” she put her hand on his.  “I’d like some time to think.”

John reached over and pulled her to his side.  She lifted her feet until she was laying on the swing, under his arm.  He pressed his lips to her forehead as his hands brushed over her hair.  They stared at the lake, both lost in their own thoughts.

Their final day of vacation had a solemn feel to it.  The boys were all worn out and sat quietly at breakfast.  No one even wanted to go swimming, which was fine with Becca.  She was tired and ready to sleep in her bed, versus a cabin bunk.  And she missed air conditioning.  Three days without any made her appreciate it all the more.  The week had been a nice break from routines, but it was over, and she needed to take her family home.

John was still quiet and pensive, and Becca could tell maybe a little offended at her lack of enthusiasm for his suggestion the night before.  John quietly packed the wagon, inventorying fishing poles, swim toys and D.R.’s tackle box to assure he had accounted for everything.  She watched through the screened window, noticing that he was careful to see that the campfire was extinguished.  The boys helped scout the area, picking up randomly scattered trash—including some that wasn’t theirs.  Even William, who was usually being picked up after, helped.  Becca was quiet as well, because she now had a lot on her mind.  It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate what he was offering, but…

They drove in relative silence all the way home, mostly because everyone was exhausted from swimming and the sun.  Occasionally, Becca would catch John looking at her in the rearview mirror, and she would smile sweetly.  Only today, he would look away instead of meeting her glance.  There was no playfulness today, or even random smiles.  Now there was suddenly a masked but awkward tension.

They stopped at a roadside park to eat lunch, the boys chattering away about snakes and snails and footprints they’d found at the lake, speculating as to what type of beast, known or unknown to man, could have made them.  John took them on an adventure walk while Becca repacked the picnic basket and threw away their trash.  The boys came back a little more excited, having discovered stones they swore were fossils, and unique leaves that they wanted to press into books or paint over later.

By the time they arrived back at home, it was late afternoon.  Becca doled out the same instructions as she had upon their arrival at the lake.  Everyone had to carry something in.  No excuses.  No slackers.  John and the boys had the car unloaded in no time.  Becca required the boys to make homemade cards for their next-door neighbor to thank her for feeding and watering Hiway while they were gone.  Johnny and William delivered the notes, while Becca sorted clothes to wash, and John and D.R. went for pizza.  They took his old coupe, just for grins.

After dinner, John was in charge of bath time.  Between splashing and squeaky squirt toys, John was soaked head to toe with water and bubbles.  Becca couldn’t help but laugh when she brought them extra towels.  They had decorated him with bubble hair and a bubble beard.  When they were relatively clean and pruned, Becca announced bedtime.  There were no complaints—a first in their house.  Usually, there were twenty plus excuses every night as to why they couldn’t sleep.  Someone was bothering someone else, or they forgot to pee or forgot a drink of water or there was just one more thing they forgot to tell someone.  After changing into dry clothes John offered to tuck the boys into bed, and Becca willingly let him.  After all, he’d be gone after two more days, and she didn’t mind the break.

John crawled around the boys’ room, giving William and Johnny horsey rides.  D.R. claimed to be too old for that.  However, he wasn’t too old to hang on him if he was trying to tackle him.  The boys all had wrestled for some time before he conceded that they’d better go to bed.  He put William down first, and he lay there watching John put the other two boys to bed.

“I really had fun, Uncle John.  I’m glad you came.”

“Me, too, Uncle John,” William said, taking his thumb from his mouth.

“Me, three,” John said, turning and rustling William’s feather-soft hair.

“Me, four,” D.R. added, climbing into his makeshift bed.

“I wish you could stay here forever,” Johnny said softly.

John picked up a sock puppet from the floor.  The puppet slowly sneaked up onto the bed and then tickled Johnny.  “Go to sleep,” he said in a deep puppet voice.

“You still taking us to the park tomorrow?” Johnny asked.

“Sure,” he replied.  “Anything you guys want to do.”

“Anything?” D.R. asked slyly.

John smiled and nodded; then stood to leave.

“You forgot to pray with us,” Johnny said as John turned off the light.

John turned and walked to Johnny’s bed and knelt down.  D.R. climbed from his bed and knelt beside John and folded his hands.  William climbed from his bed, carrying his bunny over to participate as well, then knelt beside his brother.  John looked into each of their eyes as they looked into his expectantly.  He had been to church.  He had heard the preacher pray.  He had watched everyone else bow and pray.  He had even tried it a few times himself.  God, please bring Mama back.  God, please make Daddy die.  God, please help me feel better.  God, please don’t let David die.  God, please forgive me…

John nudged D.R. “You go ahead,” he said, with an encouraging smile.

Three small heads bowed as John closed his eyes.

“Dear God, thank you for such an amazing week and for Uncle John coming to hang out with us.”

John smiled and peeked at the boys as they were thoughtful in their task at hand.

“And please be with Mommy and help her not be so sad.  And God, thank you for my family and help Grampa feel better.  And please tell Daddy that we miss and love him and that Uncle John is taking good care of us.  Amen.”

“Amen,” echoed Johnny and William.

John felt like his heart had skipped a beat.  “Amen,” he said meekly.

William shuffled back to his bed, followed by D.R. John smiled down at Johnny, slowly raising the puppet again, turning its head around to all three boys.  William and Johnny giggled.  “Goodnight,” the puppet said in a deep voice.  “Goodnight, goodnight,” he said to each of the boys, the puppet turning again, as it pursed its mouth.

“Goodnight,” Johnny said deeply.

“Goodnight, old man,” D.R. added with a chuckle.

“Old man,” John repeated under his breath as the boys giggled.  Then John walked from the room, closing the door gently behind him. 

Although the light in her room was out, Becca’s bathroom light was on, the door open.  John peeked into her room.  “Becca?” he whispered aloud.  After waiting for a beat with no reply, he sighed and walked to the living room.  He could hear the washing machine changing cycles beyond the washroom shutters.  There were still a few piles of sorted clothes and linens on the dining room floor.  Chicago was singing “Color My World.” John walked over to the stereo and turned up the volume.  He looked room to room, not finding Becca anywhere.  Then a light breeze blew the curtains up and inside through the patio door.  John glanced outside and saw her standing at the end of the porch.  He stepped through the open plate glass doorway into the warm summer night.

“Hey,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Hey,” she answered, looking off into the distance, her long mane caught in the wind, blowing behind her.  She leaned back into it, breathing it in.  “It’s such a beautiful night.”

John nodded, leaning forward on the wooden railing next to her, following her gaze into the distance.

“Did I ever tell you he dragged me here kicking and screaming?” she asked, looking at him.

John shook his head.

She looked back up into the clear night sky, dotted with millions of stars.  “I couldn’t imagine I could ever love the big city.  When David first wanted to move here, I was so scared.  Living on the base in Hawaii was different.  It was beautiful.  But it wasn’t home.  And it wasn’t that there was anyone left back home that I really cared about seeing.  I wanted to move back to familiar things, closer to home, you know?” She looked to him before glancing away, wondering if he understood what she was trying to say.  “Everyone I ever cared about was back in Texas.”

John turned, resting one arm on the railing as he watched her talk.

“He said the boys would love it here.  I wanted to hate it, but I couldn’t.  It was just so… perfect.”  She turned to him and found him staring at her.  “It was everything he said it would be.  A little bit of country right here in the city.  Does that make sense?”

John didn’t answer.  He simply smiled as he looked at her.

“Stop it,” she blushed and nudged him with her shoulder.

“What?” he asked, then turned and looked out over their neighborhood.  “I could stand it here.”

Becca looked at him, the breeze catching her hair again and sending it flying behind her.  “Could you?”

John lifted the sock puppet, and he slowly changed his voice.  “As long as you wouldn’t stick me in the closet when the boys are bad.”

Becca chuckled.

The puppet reached over and nipped at her nose.

Becca leaned away from it, backward, holding onto the railing, looking up.  “Look,” she exclaimed suddenly.  “A shooting star.”  She pointed skyward.  “Quick, close your eyes and make a wish.”

John watched her close her eyes.  As she opened them, she turned to John.  “What did you wish for?” he asked.

Becca crinkled her brow.  “Silly.  You aren’t supposed to tell.”  Her smile broadened.  “Besides, my wish already came true.”

“Oh, really?” he asked coyly.

Becca stepped closer to him.  “You’re here, aren’t you?”

John reached over and gently traced her cheek with the back of his hand.  Becca smiled, stepped to him and buried her head against his chest.  He gently stroked her long, wavy hair.  She slowly looked up to him as he looked down into her glistening eyes.  He brushed the hair from her face, at the same time caressing her soft skin gently with his thumbs.

“Mommy?”

John and Becca turned suddenly, startled.  Becca quickly walked to, then kneeled beside William, who was rubbing his eyes.  “What’s wrong, sweetie?”’

“I need a drink of water,” he yawned.

Becca looked up to John and smiled.  “Excuse number three.” She turned back to William.  “Sweetie, you’ve just had too much excitement this week for one little boy.”

John smiled.  “I’ve got this,” he said, lifting William carefully into his arms.

“I love you, Mommy,” he said softly.

Becca took his small hand in hers and kissed it.  “I love you, too, baby.”

William lay his head on John’s shoulder as he carried him through the open doorway.  “Be right back,” he mouthed silently before turning and disappearing into the flowing curtains and the room beyond.

Becca called after him.  “Just a sip!” She turned back to the railing and breathed in another breath of fresh air.  When she grabbed the railing, her hand found the sock puppet, and she slowly slid it onto her hand.  She made a few faces with it to herself, and slid it back off, before walking inside and closing the door.  She dropped the sock puppet onto the end table and looked up.  A faint light caught her eye and she glanced at the mantle where the flag from David’s coffin sat perfectly centered, nestled amongst a few pictures of him and of them as a family.  Slowly she walked to the mantle and picked up her favorite picture.  She held it in one hand while the other brushed across it. 
“In the Mystic”
began to play, and she closed her eyes.  A single tear ran down her cheek.  She wiped it away, drew in a deep breath, blew out the candle beside the pictures, walked to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator and took out a dozen eggs.

John stepped backward quietly so as to not wake the sleeping children.  Just inches from a clean get-away his bare heel found a couple of Legos.  He winced in pain, and cussed in silence, before kicking the perpetrator across the room, waking D.R.

“Uncle John?” D.R. asked softly.

“Just came in to check on you boys,” he said, grabbing his foot, his face contorted.  “Go back to sleep.”

“I love you, Uncle John.”

“I love you, too, son,” he replied, limping from the room.

He leaned against the wall and massaged his heel before limping through the rest of the house.  The plate glass door was closed, but he still peered outside.  Just in case.  He heard clinking behind him and turned.  Becca was standing in the corner by the stove, hidden in the shadows.  John hobbled into the kitchen and walked up behind her.  He set his chin on her shoulder, his hands on her hips.  “Whatcha doin?” he whispered.

“I thought I’d boil some eggs to make egg salad for lunch tomorrow.”

John looked at his watch.  “At ten o’clock at night?” he asked.  He moved his hand to her neck, slowly brushing her hair aside as his other hand slowly slid around to her waist.

“And deviled eggs.  The boys love deviled eggs.  I haven’t made them in so long.”

John slipped her blouse collar aside as he kissed her shoulder, his lips slowly tracing the curve of her shoulder to her neck.

“David loved deviled eggs.  And anything David liked, the boys liked,” she babbled, unnecessarily stirring the pan of boiling eggs.  She tilted her neck, feeling her resistance fading as she welcomed his touch.  His hand followed his kisses along her shoulder.  “I never really acquired the taste for them myself,” she said more slowly, closing her eyes.  His lips moved to her neck, and she felt her heart beginning to race as he neared her ear.  “I just figured,” she stammered, “that since we’ve been eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all week…” Her breathing quickened.  “Maybe I’d make them something different.”  She felt his hand move to her bare stomach, gently caressing her warm skin.  “…You know?”