Letters of Love (Green Division Series Book #3) (18 page)

“I think he’s a great man who loves you very much.”

“Do you love him?”

“Where did that question come from?”  Aubrey pulled Gunny to a stop out of shock.

“Well, do you?”

Aubrey pushed Gunny forward and thought about the question.

“Cause you know you two belong together.  If a ten year old can see it, you two old people should be able to see it too.”

Aubrey laughed.

“Old people?”

“You’re kinda old.  Old enough to see what’s in front of you.  I’m ten and I see it.”

“Did Ben put you up to this?”

“No.”  Tiffy leaned forward and patted Gunny.  “And you still haven’t answered me.”

“I love your uncle as a friend, like I love you.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

They meandered the trail, sunlight poking through the trees down upon them.

“I know what you are doing.”  Aubrey squeezed her.  “And your uncle and I are just friends.”

Tiffy exhaled deeply.  “You shouldn’t be friends.”

“What should we be?”

“Like Mommy and Daddy.  You two belong together.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll try.”

“Tiffy…”

“I only have so much time to show you that two you belong together.  At the rate you two are going you’ll be my grandma’s age before you figure it out.  I don’t have that much time you know,” Tiffy said far too candidly.

“You are something else, you know that.”  Aubrey kissed her cheek.  “I’d do anything for you, you know that.”

“I know.”

“But I can’t love someone because you want me to.”

“Just try, okay.  I’ll tell him to try too.”

“Sweetie, we’re okay as we are.  The three of us are the Three Musketeers remember.  Regardless of Ben and my relationship, it won’t change how we feel about you.  We love you.”

“Try Aubrey.  He’s going to be moving so you need to do it now.”

“He’s moving?”

“He’s moving to Ridgewood.”

“When?”

“In another week.  He’s gonna be a warden you know.  You don’t talk anymore?”

“We’ve been busy.”  Busy avoiding him.

“He’ll come home on his days off, but he’s gotta stay up in Ridgewood when he’s working.  I won’t see him every day no more.  Neither will you.”

“Look over there.”  Aubrey pointed to a mother deer and her fawn frozen in the trail ahead of them, thankful for the distraction.

“Cool!” Tiffy said loudly and the two took off on the trail.  “Whoops.”

“Come on Gunny.”  Aubrey pushed Gunny forward and they continued their ride.  Thankfully Tiffy dropped the conversation.  Another thirty minutes passed before Aubrey steered them back toward her property.

“So I’m going on a field trip with my class this week.”  Tiffy beamed at the memory.  “We’re going to Museum of Science in Boston next week, did I tell you that?”

“I went there a few times when I was your age.  Boston is a fun city.”

“And we’re going on a duck boat!  I don’t know what it is, but it’s a duck and a boat so it has to be cool.”

Aubrey laughed.  “You’ll have a ball.”

“I’m excited.  It won’t be as fun as riding with you and Gunny though.”

“You know you’re welcome anytime.”

They broke free from the tree and into the open field.  Sunlight beamed onto their shoulders.  Tiffy looked at the sun above and smiled as though she were staring at something.

“What are you looking at?”  Aubrey asked.

“The sun.  The sky.  Heaven.”

Aubrey’s chest felt tight.

“The sky is so pretty today.  Bright blue and those puffy clouds.  That one looks like Gunny.”  She pointed to a horse shaped cloud.

“It does.”

“That’s where I’ll be.  With the horses in the sky.”  Tiffy said without fear.

Aubrey’s eyes moistened and she fought to keep her composure. 

“You’re not going anywhere for a while so stop talking like that.”

“It’ll be okay Aubrey, I promise.”

“You’re an amazing little girl, you know that.”

“I’m something.  That’s what Mom always tells me.”

“You certainly are.”

*****

Aubrey unsaddled Gunny and went about her chores.  Though the day had been full of laughter and fun, it was also full of conversation she would rather not have with a ten year old on many subjects.  Love, life, death.  Deep conversations many adults avoided.  Tiffy was one of a kind and yet again Aubrey attached herself beyond a professional relationship as a riding instructor.  Aubrey’s phone buzzed in her pocket.  A text message.

Tiffy tells me she had a blast today – Ben

Aubrey stared at the phone and tried to decide on how to answer.

We had a great day :) – Aubrey

Have I ever told you how much I appreciate all you’ve done for us? Cause I do, more than I could ever say - Ben

Aubrey looked down at her phone and inhaled deeply.

Congratulations on the new job – Aubrey

Tiffy told you huh – Ben

Yeah, all the way in Ridgewood – Aubrey

I’ll be home on my days off, can’t get rid of me completely ;) – Ben

Aubrey smiled at her phone.

No matter how hard I try – Aubrey

Cold – Ben

Just kidding :) I’ll see you on our next Three Musketeers day – Aubrey

You can count on that, ttyl Aubrey – Ben

Later Ben – Aubrey

Aubrey slid her phone back in her pocket and smiled. 

Two weeks passed and their next Three Musketeer day had yet to come.  Aubrey was busy with overtime at work following a round of sickness among her co-workers and Ben was busy with training.  Tiffy wanted nothing more than a day to escape the reality that had become her life.  She was unable to go to Boston, her stomach wouldn’t cooperate.  Though she tried to hide it, she wasn’t able to.  All she wanted was to be normal, not lying in bed…where she laid wide awake curled under her blankets listening to the hushed conversation down the hall.  Sleep evaded her and her head spun in dizziness. 

“You need to quiet down, you’re going to wake her up,” Jack said.

“She’s getting worse day by day.  I don’t want to hear what the doctor has to say tomorrow.  I can’t take it.” Joanne audibly cried.  “Every day Jack, every day is a day closer…”

“Shhh,” Jack tried to calm her. 

“Don’t—don’t tell me to be quiet.  I love my little girl more than anything in this world and I need to talk about it!  Pretending it isn’t going to happen, isn’t going to stop it!  She’s dying Jack, I don’t think you understand that!”

“Of course I fucking understand that.  She’s my little girl too.  And you know I love her just as much as you, don’t make me out to be the bad guy here.  But you need to quiet down, now isn’t the time to talk about this.”

“When am I supposed to talk about this, huh?  When you are gone at work?  When you are sleeping in the chair at night?”

“One of us has to work!  If I quit we don’t have insurance, then what?  What do you want me to do, Joanne?  I’m not the one who did this to her!”

“I didn’t say you were!”

Tears rolled down Tiffy’s cheek hearing her parents argue about her.  Jack and Joanne never argued.  They were the picture of the perfect happy family…until she became ill. 

Then it slowly started to crumble, even though
they tried to hide it from her, she heard the hushed conversations on a few occasions.

*****

Ben reached over and answered the phone expecting it to be work. 
Ugh. 

“Hello.”

“Ben, she’s gone!”

“Woah, woah.  Joanne?”  Ben looked at the caller ID on his phone.

“Tiffy is gone.” Joanne fought to get her breath.  “I woke up to use the bathroom and when I checked on her, she’s gone.  Jack’s out looking for her right now.”

“I’m on my way.”

“Where could she have gone?  It’s four in the morning!  Where would a ten year old go?”

Ben had an inclination.

“Aubrey,” he said under his breath.

“I know you’re in Ridgewood, but I don’t know what to do.  She’s gone.  She’s gone…”

Ben laced his uniform boots as he simultaneously talked to Joanne.

“She would go to Aubrey’s,” Ben reiterated.  “Let me give you a call right back.  Don’t worry Joanne, we’ll find her okay.”

“Please.”

“I’ll call you right back,” Ben promised and hit the end button.

*****

“Ben?”  Aubrey answered surprised.

“Is Tiffy there?”

“What?”

“Tiffy ran away.  Joanne went to check on her a few minutes ago and she’s gone.  I figured the only place she’d go is to your house.”

“It’s pouring rain…how would she get here?”

“She’d find a way.”

“She’s not here Ben.”

“Your barn.”

“Okay, I’ll check.”  Aubrey threw on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and opened the door.  Standing stoically in the pouring rain was Gunny, his saddle clearly hadn’t been appropriately tightened as it sagged sideways.

“I’ll call you right back Ben.”

“Aubrey—”

Aubrey hung up and ran outside in her bare feet. 

“Tiffy!  Tiffy, where are you?  Tiffy!  Tiffy!” Aubrey called her in vain and ran to the barn.  No one was inside, but her pink bicycle was leaned against Gunny’s stall.  “Shit!”

Aubrey grabbed a flashlight and checked her fields in a panic.  “Tiffy!  Tiffffffy!”  Steam expelled from her mouth and raindrops soaked her cold skin.

“No, no, no.”  Aubrey ran back inside and pulled a pair of muck boots on and grabbed her ATV key.  It hadn’t been started in a year, but she hoped beyond hope that it would cooperate.

“Ben,” she found her voice again to call Ben. “Her bike is in the barn.  Gunny is saddled in the driveway.  The saddle isn’t tight, I think she might have fallen.”

“Fuck,” Ben said exasperated. 

“I’m going to look for her.”