Letters of Love (Lessons in Love) (12 page)

“Oh…
okay.”

“Bye
, Mom, love you.” Alex abruptly hung up, feeling guilty, but knowing it was necessary.

The silence of the house hung heav
ily around her as Alex switched off the television and began collecting her paperwork. Looking through the large front window, she wondered sadly what Oscar was doing, how he was spending his summer. She continued to text and call him but to no avail. He was completely ignoring her. It hurt Alex that he wouldn’t even entertain their being friends, but she guessed that friendship wasn’t really possible now. When you loved someone, could you ever really go back to being neutral?

Alex missed Oscar so much that sometimes her body physically ached for him. She missed his smell and his crooked smile and the way his eyes always held a mysterious magic to them, as though he knew something wondrous that she didn’t. Clearly, he wasn’t thinking about her nearly as much, if at all, or else he would have called.

With the wound of betrayal feeling as fresh as the day Oscar had originally inflicted it, Alex left the lounge area, her arms full of books and notepads, and crossed into the cavernous hallway, preparing to head upstairs to her room to have a nap. She didn’t like sleeping downstairs, she’d tried it but felt too exposed. As she was crossing the hallway, she noticed a letter sitting face down on the Kappa Pi-emblazoned doormat. Pausing to pick it up, she turned it over and was surprised to see her own name neatly written on the front. The letter wasn’t from the college, the lettering was too informal, and there was no Princeton date stamp on the front. Shoving the letter in with her papers, she took it upstairs with her.

Lying on her bed
, Alex fingered the letter, hoping it was from Oscar. She wanted to read about how much he missed her and still loved her. Finally, she tore open the letter, needing to know what it said inside.

Dear Alex,

Your mother tells me that you’ve chosen to stay at Princeton this summer to further focus on your studies to earn some extra credit. Your dedication is inspiring
. I’m so pleased that you’ve adapted to college life so well.

It has been a while since you wrote to me
, so I hope you are okay. It sounds like your time is just taken up with all the studying! Are your courses hard?

Woodsdale is the same as ever. A fresh batch of seniors just graduated
, and this year their prank was to spray-paint all the faculty cars blue. I can’t say I was impressed, though the prank certainly showed creativity. However, I’m now driving around in a veritable Smurf-mobile. You’d laugh if you could see it.

Of all the things I miss about you
, I miss your laugh the most. Your laugh could brighten up the darkest day. Sometimes I fear that you will never return to Woodsdale, and really, why should you? You are bigger and better than this place. For so long you didn’t believe it, but now I’m sure you can finally see how amazing you truly are. Your father would be so proud of you. I know your mother tells anyone who will listen how her daughter is at Princeton. She even put her bumper sticker on the side of the trailer.

Anyway, I hope your summer is going well. Don’t work too hard
. Remember to have some fun too! You’re only young once.

Write me if you get the chance. Know that I regularly think about you.

Love
,

Mark

Xxx

Alex read the letter a couple of times before throwing it to the floor. She’d so wanted it to be from Oscar. The fact that it was from Mark made her feel guilty and wretched. While he had been pining for her, she had been busy falling in love with someone else, someone who treated her terribly and led her astray. What did that say about her? Mark was kind and thoughtful, yet she continually dismissed him in favor of Oscar, who was nothing but trouble.

Groaning, Alex turned and buried her face in her pillow. The worst part about being alone was that she had only her thoughts for company. Her thoughts would dance madly around her head until they made her dizzy.

She should at least write Mark back, but Alex just didn’t have the words inside her. She didn’t want to lie to him, to mislead him. Really, she knew that she needed to tell him goodbye, but she didn’t want to for reasons she couldn’t fully understand. She knew it was selfish to keep him hanging on but didn’t dare let him go. If only Ashley were around, she could talk to her about it all and get some advice.

The whirring sound of her phone was a welcome distraction to Alex’s harassed thoughts. She reached and picked it up, willing there to be a message from Oscar
, but instead it was from Ashley. Alex was pleased to hear from her friend but felt an empty disappointment inside her that it wasn’t from Oscar. Pressing the relevant buttons, Alex read the message.

Hey, honey, how has the summer of solitude been? Not too tedious, I hope! Anyway, fret no more for my flight has literally just touched down, which means that I’ll be back at Kappa Pi within the hour! I cannot wait to see you!
Au revoir
! Xxx

The French sign-off was a little strange, but Alex didn’t dwell on it. She felt slightly giddy with excitement at the prospect of her best friend shortly returning. Having the house to themselves offered up countless opportunities for girly-based fun. Alex decided that their first night reunited should be an old-school sleepover downstairs, with s’mores made on the gas fire, wearing their pajamas and telling ghost stories! With renewed purpose, Alex got up off her bed and set about preparing for Ashley’s return.

****

“
Bonjour, mon amie!
” Ashley’s enthusiastic voice came serenading up the staircase. Alex got up and quickly ran down to greet her friend, who embraced her before kissing her upon each cheek.

“What’s with the continental greeting?” Alex felt bemused.

“I’ve practically become French since meeting Pierre,” Ashley gushed dreamily.

“You met a guy?”

“Correction, I met
the
guy!”

“Tell me all about him!”

“In good time, first, I need to unpack!”

Unpacking Ashley’s luggage was always a task of epic proportion as the concept of travelling light was completely foreign to her. She also had a habit of buying loads of clothes that she thought would look good on Alex.

“I found this in a little boutique off Rodeo Drive,” she explained as she casually tossed a glittery vest top onto Alex’s bed. “It’s so you I just had to get it.”

Alex really appreciated her friend’s kindness but was also a little embarrassed about accepting such generous gifts, although Ashley was always careful to never label them as such. They were, in her opinion, items she’d bought which would just happen to look better on Alex
, so Ashley felt she was doing the world a favor to give them to her friend, who would wear them better than she could.

“I’m like a fashion savior,” Ashley would say.

During this latest bout of unpacking, Alex’s bed was already half-covered in jeans, T-shirts, shoes and accessories, which Ashley had found and thought were just perfect for Alex.

“You didn’t need to bring me so much back,” Alex protested, secretly delighted by all her new clothes.

“I know, but I wanted to.” Ashley shrugged.

Alex
suspected that Ashley was being particularly generous because of everything that had happened with Oscar. She hadn’t even mentioned his name since coming back, which was unlike her.

Being presented with lots of new clothes reminded Alex of how she felt as a little girl whenever her father would return from a business trip. He’d always have something stashed away in his suitcase for her, like a new doll or
, as she grew older, a rare vinyl record. It made his return even more exciting.

“You’re really good to me, you know that,” Alex said sincerely as Ashley finally got to the end of her unpacking.

“Well, somebody has to be,” Ashley quipped.

“So tell me more about Pierre,” Alex urged.

Ashley held up her hand, ceasing any further communication.

“Wine first, then talk,” she instructed.

****

Two glasses of wine each later and the girls were giggling on the sofa in the lounge area of the Kappa Pi house, relishing being back in one another’s company.

“I missed this place; is that sad?” Ashley asked as she gazed around.

“Not as sad as not actually leaving it
.” Alex sighed.

They were both sitting in their pajamas even though the sun was still shining, having decided to start their catch
-up sleepover early. Also, as Ashley pointed out, getting ready for bed prior to drinking removed the temptation to go out partying. She promised to keep an extra close eye on Alex during their third year to ensure she didn’t get kicked out of college.

“So how did you meet Pierre?” Alex topped up each of their glasses from the now almost empty wine bottle.

“I met him at a club,” Ashley gushed. “He was so suave, dressed in a suit like he was James Bond or something.”

“So he’s a snappy dresser?” Alex smiled.

“Impeccable, he knows more about fashion than I do!”

Alex found that hard to believe.

“He works for Chanel in Paris and was in L.A. for work. I swear, I have never seen a more beautiful man.”

“What does he look like?”

Ashley quickly grabbed her cell phone, and after a few drunken failed attempts, she managed to access the pictures of her latest squeeze. Alex watched as her perfectly manicured nails scrolled through images of a devastatingly handsome man with high cheekbones, piercing blue eyes and sandy-colored hair cut in a trendy style. He was perfectly put together and looked as though he belonged on a runway somewhere, not like Oscar, who didn’t care about his appearance.

There was a picture of Ashley and Pierre together, beaming madly at the camera
, and they looked like the perfect couple, both achingly beautiful.

“You look amazing together,” Alex whispered in awe.

“I actually think this is the real thing, that he’s the one,” Ashley said excitedly, her words blurring together. “We haven’t even slept together yet,” she added.

“Really?” This surprised Alex
, given she’d been privy to her roommate’s bedroom antics for the last few years.

“Nope, I want it to be special.”

“That’s really nice.”

“Is it? Am I not just some romanticist setting themselves up for a fall?” Ashley’s mood seemed to suddenly darken.

“Of course not, you said you think he could be the one. That’s a massive thing to say. You must have had an amazing connection.”

“Yeah, we did
.” Ashley sighed wistfully. “It just felt… right, you know? He’s going to be coming back for Thanksgiving, so you might get to meet him.”

Ashley’s optimistic demeanor was suddenly gone
, and she gazed sadly into her half-empty wine glass.

“Ash, what is it?”

“I want to believe that he’s the one. That our love is written in the stars, but what if it all falls apart like you and Oscar did? I’m sorry to mention him, but you loved him so much. You guys were perfect together.”

Alex took a long drink from her glass and tried not to cry.

“Oscar and me, we were a short love story, but a love story nonetheless. Not every romance goes the distance.”

“Are you quoting
Sex and the City
?” Ashley smiled slightly.

“Probably, you got me hooked on it, remember?” Alex also managed to smile.

“Have you heard from him?” Ashley asked tentatively after a pause.

“Not once.”

“Seriously? What a douche bag.”

“Yeah.” Alex knew she should hate Oscar for how he’d treated her
, but a part of her couldn’t stop caring for him, couldn’t stop loving him.

“How has summer school been?” Ashley made an attempt to change the subject.

“It’s been okay.” Alex nodded. “I’m a lot more focused now than I have been. Maybe everything ending with Oscar was for the best. It’s forced me to concentrate on my studies.”

“Well, every cloud supposedly has a silver lining.”

“But don’t let what happened with me sour your view of what you have with Pierre.”

“I won’t
.” Ashley didn’t sound convincing.

“I mean, it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, right?”  

“Sure.”

Neither girl was sure if they truly believed the sentiment.

“Why don’t we watch a movie?” Ashley suggested.

“Excellent idea!” Alex was grateful for the distraction from her own thoughts.

“How about
Sex and the City
?”

“Perfect!”