Lewis felt like placing his hands over his groin to hide it from the unwanted attention.
“First of all, I already said I was taken. And second,”—Lewis pointed to the restroom—“it’s just nasty in there.” He shuddered as he walked away. Just nasty.
He wasn’t prissy, but a clean bathroom was something he demanded, even if it was a public one. Lewis began to scratch his jaw, but the smell of gasoline hit his nose first, and he quickly pulled his hand away.
Rounding the corner, he almost ran right into Gunnar. He held his hand out with a dozen little white packets in his palm. “Thought you might change your mind.”
Lewis noticed Gunnar looking toward the bathroom. “You know, being my babysitter means watching me, not stalking me.” Gunnar grinned. “Technically, they are the same. Stop whining about it.”
Lewis growled as he walked over to the outside trash can and started ripping open the packages. He tried his best to get his hands clean, but the only thing he managed to do was make them smell like gasoline and disinfectant. Just great.
“Are you ready, or do you want me to go get some hand sanitizer?” Gunnar teased as he rounded the car.
“Stop making fun of me. Gasoline stinks.” Lewis slid into the driver’s seat and slammed the door shut.
“Got a nasty little temper, don’t you?”
“You would, too, if you saw that bathroom.” Lewis started the car, thinking maybe he should have let Gunnar just follow behind him instead of sitting next to him, annoying the crap out of him.
They made it back to his place in under an hour with Gunnar making a few more jokes about his soft, delicate hands.
36
Lynn Hagen
“You can carry the bags up. My hands are too delicate for such work,” Lewis teased as he left the car and Gunnar to do the grunt work.
Lewis headed straight for his bedroom and the bottle of whiskey he had stashed in his closet. He unscrewed the cap and took a large swallow. His nerves seemed to even out once that first swallow hit his stomach. After taking one more for good measure, he placed the bottle back on the shelf before closing the door. He placed his hand on the wall and stood there for a moment, feeling the burn as he thought about Evan.
“Where do I put this stuff?”
Lewis spun around to see Gunnar standing in the doorway. “This is my bedroom. You may be my unofficial babysitter, but I get privacy in this room,” he snapped. Lewis didn’t like the fact that he was fast becoming an alcoholic, and he didn’t need an audience to witness his downfall either.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to intrude,” Gunnar snapped back and walked away grumbling about rude fucking people.
Lewis felt like shit, of course. Gunnar had been nothing but easygoing and friendly all day. The guilt had hit him of hiding his stash away, and Gunnar almost saw his hand shaking before he hid the bottle. This was becoming a bigger problem than he first thought.
No longer was it an occasional drink or even a nightcap. Now it seemed to be to the point where he needed one because his day was going bad or because he was feeling stressed. They were all excuses, and Lewis knew it, but he couldn’t seem to stop.
Closing the closet door, he sighed as he made his way out to Gunnar. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” He dropped down on the couch, feeling edgy as hell and missing Evan like crazy.
He couldn’t understand the second one. Why was Evan affecting him this way?
“Ah, forget about it. Let’s eat.” Gunnar slid two plates onto the kitchen table and waved for Lewis to join him.
Lewis’s Dream
37
* * * *
Evan watched as Drew draped himself over Remi. They were sitting in the den watching some chick flick that Drew had wanted to see. Evan wasn’t even paying attention to the movie. He was watching the mated pair. His thoughts went to his own mate, wondering what he was doing right now.
He hated the ultimatum Maverick had laid on him. The need to go to his mate was driving him mad. The only thing he could do was watch the others suck face and wish his mate was here to do the same.
If a wolf didn’t need a pack, then Evan would have been out of the doors days ago.
Why did he let the cop get under his skin like that? He was the only person to ever rattle Evan’s nerves. The feeling of coming unglued and not in control hit him in Lewis's presence. Did all the warriors go through that when they found their mates?
“You’re gonna bite that thumbnail off if you keep at it like that.” Evan looked up to see Murdock standing beside the couch. He removed his thumb from between his teeth as he sat up straighter. He was ready to climb the walls with the need coursing through him to claim what fate had deemed as his, except it seemed every time they were in the same room tempers flared and animosity hung thick in the air.
He didn’t want that. What he wanted was to hold his mate in his arms as he made love to him. Yeah, it sounded wimpy to him, but he didn’t care. It was the truth. Lewis was the only man to both drive him crazy and bring out his gentle side. It was confusing as hell.
How did the other warriors make it through the claiming sane? He wondered about Micah most of all because his mate had been underage when he came to live with them. Waiting a week was driving him mad. He didn’t know how the other warrior waited months. Micah must have the patience of a saint.
38
Lynn Hagen
“Come on. I feel like a burger.” Murdock tapped his shoulder.
What the hell, he had nothing better to do than sit around and mope.
He pushed up from the sofa, taking one last look at the mated pair.
Drew was drying his eyes. Evan assumed it was something in the movie. Remi pulled his mate closer as he rubbed his back. The feeling of longing hit him hard.
Evan turned away. He couldn’t bear to watch it any longer.
Grabbing his coat from the hook in the hallway, he followed Murdock.
Fresh air would do him some good. Evan climbed into the truck as Murdock slammed the driver’s door. He wondered what Lewis was doing right now. He thought of those beautiful blue eyes and that short brown hair. Fate had definitely given him a gorgeous male.
Too bad they couldn’t get their act together because Evan would love to feel that hard body under him as he felt Lewis’s body swallow his cock.
Evan shifted around as his cock filled. He wondered why he was torturing himself with thoughts of what he couldn’t have right now.
They pulled into the drive-thru, Evan seeming to get his cock to go down just as Murdock began to order.
“Let me get five burgers, three orders of fries and a large strawberry shake. Oh, and let me get a side order of onion rings and a slice of that chocolate pie for desert.” Murdock turned to Evan. “What do you want?”
“Holy shit, man. Where do you put all that?” Even at six five and two hundred thirty-four pounds, Evan didn’t eat that much. “Just give me a burger and fries.” Murdock shrugged and repeated Evan’s order to the speaker box.
Murdock flirted with the guy at the window, giving his phone number and promises of coming back to see the guy when he got off of work. The wolf seemed to always have an endless supply of willing males. Evan couldn’t think of anyone but Lewis. That was the only man he wanted, and the only man he couldn’t have. This shit sucked.
Lewis’s Dream
39
Once they had their food, Murdock pulled into the lot of a building for lease next to the post office. They sat there quietly eating, with Murdock scarfing down his food. Evan was surprised the wolf didn’t weigh more with the calories he was consuming. That milkshake alone should be about twenty pounds.
“So, tell me, what’s up with you and your mate?” Murdock asked after swallowing his bite. He held his hands up as the bottom of the bun flapped. “You don’t have to tell me, just thought maybe you could use me as a sounding board or whatever you want to call it.” Evan shrugged as he ate another fry. He tried to think of the best way to describe what it felt like when he and his mate were together.
“I’m still trying to figure it out myself. It’s like a hurricane and an earthquake colliding together when we are in the same room. I don’t get it.”
“Maybe fate made a mistake. Never heard of it happening, but it could. I think.” Murdock took another bite of his burger, shrugging when Evan looked over at him with his brows pulled together.
Just what Evan didn’t want to hear—that he and Lewis weren’t meant to be together. It would seem that way from the volatility they experienced, but Evan didn’t think fate made a mistake. Mates were paired together from compatibility and need. The other mates had issues they were dealing with when the warriors found them. He knew in his gut that it was the same for them.
He just couldn’t figure out what his mate needed.
“I’m just talking out the side of my head. Don’t pay me any attention,” Murdock offered. “I’m not even mated, so who am I to give advice?” He shoved a handful of fries into his mouth at the same time he sucked down his milkshake.
“Don’t you want to be?” Evan asked as he stared at the way the warrior was eating.
Murdock snorted. “Hell, no, have you seen the way the other wolves lose their damn minds? Nah, there are too many men out there to be had. Sex was the best invention ever.”
40
Lynn Hagen
Evan looked at Murdock with squinted eyes. Was the wolf serious? Who didn’t want to find their mate? And since when was sex
invented
? The wolf had a few screws loose in Evan’s opinion. “One day that’s gonna bite you in the ass.” Murdock chuckled. “That’s what Maverick keeps telling me. Until I cross that bridge, I’m gonna fuck anything that moves. Okay, maybe not the ugly ones, or maybe I will. They need loving, too.”
“You are one strange shifter.” Evan looked out of the windshield at the town. Tank had refused to tell him where Lewis lived. Evan wondered if it was in one of the apartment buildings on the other side of town. There were a few of them. Or did his mate own his own home? Where? Maybe it was a good thing he didn’t know. The police station was located on the other side as well. Knowing where his mate worked was a big temptation to stalk his mate at work. But he couldn’t. He knew Maverick meant business, and as hard core as Evan thought himself to be, he wasn’t going to play around with the Alpha. He was in charge for a reason, and Maverick didn’t fuck around when it came to taking his job seriously.
“So maybe you two can go to one of those marriage counselors.” Evan watched as Murdock opened the fifth burger wrapper. He could only imagine how the wolf put it all away.
Strumming his fingers on his leg, he thought about what Murdock had just suggested. Would it help? He was willing to do anything right about now. Evan pushed the thought away. Wolves didn’t go to counselors, not any that he knew of, and he wasn’t going to be the first. He just wished he could figure out what Lewis's problem was.
Lewis’s Dream
41
Chapter Four
“Come on, Evan. Shoot some pool with me.” Oliver grabbed his arm, pulling him into the den. This was the same mate that had once kissed him out of confusion. He wasn’t so sure this was one of his better ideas.
“Your mate still gives me the evil eye when I’m anywhere near you.” Evan grabbed a pool stick as Oliver set the game up.
“We’re in the den, not your bedroom. He’ll be fine. Besides, you look lost. I know that feeling.” Oliver took his shot, watching him at the same time.
“I don’t get it. He acts as if he doesn’t feel the pull, doesn’t want anything to do with me,” Evan confessed as he bent at the waist and hit the pool balls, the cracking sound echoing in the den. It seemed that no matter how much he examined the reasoning behind why his mate acted aloof, he couldn’t come up with a feasible answer.
It just didn’t make sense to him.
Oliver smiled. “You do remember how I was when I first got here? Swore everyone was a faggot, hatred running threw my veins, didn’t want anyone near me. It was all an elaborate front. I was fighting it. Fighting the pull, fighting the confusion. Maybe your mate is doing the same thing. It isn’t about him
not
wanting you. It’s about what is going on inside of him. Work on that instead of the rejected feeling.”
Evan stood and stared at Oliver in amazement. “Since when did a pup get so smart?” Evan chuckled. It made sense.
“I fought the pull, too.”
42
Lynn Hagen
Evan turned to see Cody entering. “I never understood that, Cody.
Keata never gave you any indication that he would refuse you. He’s a sweet guy. Why would you refuse him?”
“Exactly, he was too innocent. I was terrified of not measuring up, afraid I would hurt Jasper’s feelings, afraid I would hurt Keata. All bullshit, and I damn near lost my mate because of it.” Cody walked behind the bar, grabbing a beer and leaning his elbows on the counter.
“I don’t think it’s about not wanting you, but more about what he’s fighting.”
“Drew didn’t think he was good enough for Remi. Blair didn’t think he was worthy enough for Kota’s love. You see the pattern here? Everyone was suffering from something in their past. When you’re allowed, talk to your mate and find out what’s in his past that’s preventing him from accepting you.” Oliver laughed. “Next lesson is tomorrow, young grasshopper.”
Evan growled. “Smartass.”
“I had been hurt by someone. I didn’t trust anyone not to screw me over. Maybe that’s his story,” George volunteered as he joined them. “Jesse swore he would stay by my side, but when things got rough, he skedaddled, ’bout tore me apart, and I swore off men.”
“Think someone hurt him?” Evan didn’t like that idea. He wanted to kill the person who put all the doubts in his mate. A small part of him stung from the knowledge his Lewis had given his heart to someone other than him.
“Possible,” Oliver offered.
“Who’s with him?”
Cody looked past the archway from the den. “If you tell that I told you, I’ll kick your ass this side of Sunday.” Evan nodded. “Promise.”