Authors: Kristen James
He’d taken a few steps toward the door and opened it again.
“Well, I’ll let you unpack. I haven’t cleaned my own place
in weeks.”
She tried for a smile that didn’t look disappointed and
waved. “Thank you so much for helping me.”
Though he let his gaze linger on her, he turned and left. It
almost seemed like he’d left in a hurry. She replayed it in her mind several
times but couldn’t tell if she were imagining it, or, for that matter,
imagining that he felt something for her. Seemed like he wanted out of there, like
he didn’t want to be alone with her. Maybe any attraction was entirely on her
side.
Enough thinking about it! Aubrey slept upstairs in the
playpen, so Savanna was left in a quiet house. She opened windows to let a
breeze blow through. Then, after she got a bandana from her suitcase, she tied
her hair back and went to work putting together the crib.
She had three sides screwed together when the phone rang in
her pocket.
“Hey Mom.”
“Eric’s mother called here again. It’s starting to get
weird.”
“Oh.” She’d forgotten all about it. Really, she had put it
out of her mind, thinking Georgia would leave them alone soon enough. “Okay,
I’ll call and get her to leave you alone.”
They hung up, and Savanna stared at her phone for a minute
to gather her courage. Her fingers shook while dialing, but why should she
worry about this? Georgia was far away in Texas anyway.
Georgia heard her voice and demanded, “Why haven’t you kept
in contact? Where are you?”
It was harsh and cold, but what had she expected?
“I told Eric before I left.” Strangely, however, she’d
forgotten to call him since arriving. Had she finally given up on him, on them?
“He has no idea where you are!”
Something just wasn’t right between Eric and Georgia. “Well,
I’m here in Eugene, and he has my contact information. I told him to call me if
he wants to see Aubrey. So please stop calling my mother. Goodbye.”
She shut her cell and shoved it in her pocket, glad to have
the chore done. Georgia hadn’t asked about her granddaughter, or even how
Savanna was doing. Why on earth should Eric’s mother care so much that Savanna
hadn’t called him? Eric didn’t seem to care, and that was the end of it.
Aubrey slept for several hours, so Savanna got the dishes
put away in the kitchen, their clothes put into their closets and dressers, and
her few keepsakes and decorative items placed around the house.
By the time Aubrey woke up, Savanna was breaking down the
boxes. The place didn’t look bad. Savanna stood in the living room in the late
afternoon light, facing the stairs leading up to the two bedrooms. A decent-sized
kitchen and small dining area opened on her right. Her tiny table sat there
now. Her couch sat in front of her small TV set in the living room on her left.
True, she didn’t have a lot of furniture, but maybe that’d change over time.
This could be a real home if she stayed here a while. In
Texas, she’d been afraid to invest money in decorations or furniture because
it’d been temporary. Even so, she’d spent over a year in that tiny apartment,
trying to figure out her life.
At first, her pride wouldn’t let her pack up and head home
with a newborn baby. She couldn’t tell everyone what Eric had done, so she got
a place and lied. Then she couldn’t admit to lying like that, so she stayed
there, trapped by her own stupidity.
All that, however, was in the past. This was her life now.
She stood with a faint smile on her face. In time, this
could be the cozy home she’d dreamed of for Aubrey. Maybe Cassie would relent
and come over sometime. She’d have good decorating ideas.
Someone knocked. She tried not to smile too big when she saw
Jason standing outside the door, wearing khaki shorts and a plaid shirt that
wasn’t buttoned. He looked like he threw it on to come over.
“Wow, you work fast,” he stepped inside and looked around.
“I like getting things done.” She watched as he surveyed the
place.
“You must like toads.” He saw her little porcelain toad on
top of the TV. She had a big one for the bathroom counter, another small one
for the kitchen windowsill, plus several comical toad pieces throughout the
house.
“I just think they’re cute.” Some people had a thing for
horses or maybe dogs, cats, or snakes. She liked toads. She propped herself
against the back of the couch.
“Looking for a prince?” Jason joked and she smiled. Somehow,
she kept herself from staring at his flat stomach and the dark hair marking his
chest. Darn it, she was staring, wasn’t she?
Deciding she’d better answer, she said, “I forgot to kiss
them and see.” Saying the word
kiss
to Jason took effort. Well, trying
to act normally while saying
kiss
took effort. And then it ran around in
her mind,
kiss, kiss, kiss.
Seeing the crumpled newspapers surrounding her boxes, he
picked some up and threw them in a pile. He looked better, more composed than
he had been since the funeral, with a clean shave and a haircut, though his
dark hair wasn’t cut too short. She planned to say “thank you” again, but he
looked at her with desire in those rich brown eyes.
Oh, baby. Her body pounded like gallons of extra blood had just
poured into her. She should slap herself. What if he could see what she was
thinking about him, after he’d lost his best friend, after he’d helped her so
much?
That thought didn’t stop her reaction or keep her eyes from
looking at his mouth. Her mind asked
what the heck are you doing
? But
they were too far out on the plank to come back now. Savanna wanted to jump.
He didn’t pull his gaze off her face either. “I’m glad
you’re here.” He stepped closer.
She thought he was testing the waters. He confirmed that
when he lifted his hand and grazed his knuckles gently down her face. Eric had
never touched her that way. The gentle touch and tender look were all new, all
so needed. He ran his finger along her chin, just under her lip. “It’s funny
needing a stranger, isn’t it?”
He did know the unexplainable emotions she’d been feeling.
She couldn’t find words, so she just reached up and took his hand.
Don’t
pull it away
.
There was something more that they understood about each
other, something other than the different kinds of pain they were both going
through. She felt herself leaning toward him. His mouth hovered, barely touching
hers as he looked at her with curious and excited eyes. She hoped he didn’t see
the hungriness she felt for him. Or maybe she did. Closing her eyes, she tilted
her mouth up to him, wanting him to respond and let her know he felt the same.
Her arms reached for him, pulled him closer. The contact of
body to body sent quivers of awareness through her. Then he really kissed her.
His hands slid into her hair while his scent surrounded her. Her senses kicked
into overdrive. It felt like skydiving.
She parted her lips to welcome him in. If only she had the
nerve to flatten her hands on his stomach.
His tongue touched hers, a question at first. She answered
by leaning closer, meeting him. He moaned, his hands sliding around to her back
and pressing her closer to him. He kissed smoothly and with control, but she
wanted to break his control. She felt so alive all over, it hurt.
The kiss started to heat up when he jerked free, stepped
back, and sucked in a breath like she’d sucker punched him.
“Jason?” Cool air assaulted her body where he had been
pressed.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” He turned and
rushed out the door. It banged shut behind him.
At first, she didn’t know what ran him off like that. Then
it all hit her.
“You idiot.” She sank into the lonely recliner sitting near
the corner. How could she forget? She was a single mom with a truckload of
problems. So why would an attractive, single firefighter want a relationship
with her?
She felt tears tickle down her cheeks as the hope inside her
plummeted like a rock thrown into water.
Six
“Take a day off, Lancaster!” Alex Ackley, the fire chief,
ordered in a good-natured voice. “You need to do something besides hang around
here.”
Yeah, yeah. Jason knew the extra time he’d been spending at
the station wasn’t helping anyone. “Fine, I’m going.”
The older man was built like a bulldog. Granted, his hair
was gray, he was strong and stern. “It’s Friday night. Go do something fun.”
While Jason wouldn’t disrespect his fire chief, how could
anyone ask him to go have fun? Doing weekend stuff felt too young and carefree.
Jason sighed and headed for his locker to get his stuff, but
he didn’t know where to go once he left. He’d been leaving for work before
sunrise and going home late so he wouldn’t run into her.
Savanna Thompson. He wanted her but couldn’t face her. He
needed her understanding but wanted to hide from it at the same time.
He wanted to go back to that kiss and live there, let it go
on and on. As wrong as it was, he wanted to take it further and kiss her until
she melted in his arms.
“Jason.” His buddy, Trevor Holiday, stopped him. “Why don’t
you come over tonight? We’ll grill something.”
It took a minute to change directions with his thoughts.
“All right. See you in a bit.” Jason waved. “Thanks.” So
what could he do till then? He liked to read, especially adventure stories or
new information on firefighting. Lately, though, he couldn’t concentrate long
enough.
Weightlifting always took his mind off things. Too bad he’d
already pushed himself to the limit and had the sore muscles to prove it. He
didn’t want life to continue the way it had before, but he couldn’t take this
fog of pain surrounding him forever.
Mike wouldn’t want that.
Jason stepped outside and got hit with dry, midday heat and
hazy air filled with the sweet smell of field-burning. That was one bad thing
about having a city in the middle of farmland.
He got in his jeep and swung by Cassie’s house on his way
home. Her car sat outside in the driveway, so he parked along the curb.
He pushed himself out of the driver’s seat, trying to build
momentum. The task felt impossible. Walking up her steps reminded him of the
night he had lumbered up here to deliver the bad news.
Jason’s knocks went unanswered, just like on that night. He
didn’t sit and wait this time, but kept knocking. “Cassie, please talk to me.”
For a minute, he froze and listened, and then he knocked
again. Maybe she’d call the police on him, but he’d try. At least he could say
he tried. Then he heard shuffling inside. “Cassie? Please open the door so we
can talk.”
“Go away, Jason, and leave me alone.”
Go away? When tragedies like death happen, friends aren’t
supposed to pull apart and hurt each other.
“Cassie, I want to be here for you. You act like I killed
him when I just tried to be a good friend. I can’t stand knowing you hate me.”
“You could have stood behind him when he wanted to retire
from firefighting.” She sounded muffed through the door, but her hurt and angry
weren’t buffered at all. “My husband is still dead.”
“I’m sorry, Cassie. But there’s nothing I can do about it.” Defeated,
he slowly walked back to his jeep but looked back several times to see if she
would change her mind and open her door.
On his third look back, the door opened. He spun around and
came up the steps again.
She stepped out. “First, you talked Mike into getting
himself killed, and then you took her away, too.”
Her? “What are you talking about?” Then his gut tightened.
Yeah, he knew whom she meant. “Savanna couldn’t stay here. She needed a place.”
“Why yours?”
“I had to help her. Haven’t you noticed she’s trying to help
you? Then you avoid her little girl. She wasn’t sure what to do.”
The door snapped shut.
Well, it had needed said. He felt about eighty percent sure
on that one. Maybe it wasn’t the right time yet, and maybe he wasn’t the right
person, but Cassie needed to know that Savanna was struggling too.
And, yet again, he had hurt her.
Life couldn’t stay like this, but he couldn’t change
anything here. Jason drove home with a frail hope that he’d catch Savanna. He
needed to face her sometime. Man, he’d been a jerk. You can’t kiss a girl like
that and then run off, avoiding her all week. He’d noticed she was gone during
the day, and she’d bought a car. Maybe she had a job by now.
The truth was, he’d wanted to see her every day. He thought
about her, dreamed about kissing her, dreamed about pulling her from that fire
over and over . . . Savanna had enchanted him. And now, because he gave her a
place to live, Cassie had another reason to stay angry with him.
Jason soon discovered that Savanna wasn’t home. Maybe he’d
scared her off, which might be for the better. She didn’t come home in the next
few hours, either, so he headed to Trevor’s house, located closer to downtown
Eugene.
They had an older house, painted white, with a long porch along
the front that had Southern style white columns. It sat nestled into an
established neighborhood with narrow streets and maples growing in a line.
Trevor’s wife, Mindy, sent him out back when he arrived.
Jason rounded the corner and found Trevor starting up the grill. Trevor, with
one of those baby faces on his otherwise linebacker body, looked like an
oversized boy as he watched the flames take off.
“Hey, Jas, just the guy I’m waiting for. Want a beer?”
Jason pushed a somewhat real smile on his face. “What,
you’re waiting for me to get here before you crack one open.”
“Yeah, but who drinks alone?”
I do
. He figured he had okay reasons to drink by himself,
though, like losing his best friend, dealing with Cassie’s anger, and trying to
figure out what he felt for Savanna.