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I guess I’ll go grab a couple more boxes, then?” No one said no, so I trotted out the door.
“God be praised,”
the Pettit girl whispered, giggling.
I passed off a laugh as a cough and stopped to help a group of men wrestling with a mattress. The girls moved back onto the porch, and I could feel their eyes on my back.
“Do you think I should go talk to him?”
Gabrielle asked.
“We could double.”
“Double what?”
Lily asked.
“You and my brother. Me and him.”
“Yeah, I don’t think so. Besides, we’re supposed to be helping my dad, not playing matchmaker.”
“Your dad’s got plenty of help.”
When I finally reached the moving van, a guy emerged from the back, balancing an impressive tower of cardboard boxes. Judging by his resemblance to Gabrielle, I guessed him to be her brother. His muscles flexed under the weight he carried.
“Quit showing off, Jack,” Gabrielle called. “You don’t want to break anything.”
“Don’t worry, I got it,” he yelled back. I picked up a few boxes of my own and followed Jack Pettit to the house. As he passed through the doorway, I thought I saw him wink at Lily, but it might have been my imagination.
He set his boxes down on the orange kitchen counter, knocking a huge tub of Vaseline onto the floor. I set my load down on the table and returned the Vaseline to its place.
“Hey, thanks,” Jack said. “Didn’t see it there.”
“No problem,” I said.
“Are you one of the Hancocks?” he asked.
49
“Hardly.” I almost laughed.
“I’m going to be working with my dad,” Jack said. “We’re going to turn this hellhole back into a dump.” He rolled his eyes. “Should make for a fascinating summer.”
I looked past his shoulder to Lily and Gabrielle, who were helping Mrs. Hancock stock a linen closet. Gabrielle caught me looking. She tapped Lily on the shoulder and dragged her toward me and Jack.
“Yeah,” I said. “Maybe I’ll see you around.” Jack and I headed back for more boxes, reaching the front door simultaneously, with Lily and Gabrielle right behind. As Jack and I did the “after you; no, after you” dance in the doorway, our chests bumped. Jack sucked in a surprised lungful of air. His nostrils flared, and his eyes widened. He snapped his head around to look at Lily, then at me, then back at Lily. Sadness tugged at the corners of his eyes before a darkness clouded his face. He inhaled again, holding his breath.
“Okay there, buddy?” I asked, all the while thinking,
He knows. How could he know?
But then I had to laugh at myself. I guess paranoia was a fallout symptom of my abstinence. I’d stretched this little experiment out so far, I was now in uncharted waters. I wondered what would go next.
50
8
HYPOCRITE
A ll the boxes were moved into their appropriate rooms. I carried the last of Sophie’s things upstairs to her bedroom, which faced the lake. Judging by the pale blue walls, I assumed it had been Jason Hancock’s nursery years ago. There was a lingering fragrance in the walls that was strangely familiar. I struggled to place it, but eventually had to give up the effort. I tore open a box and started placing Sophie’s books on her bookshelf.
Downstairs, several men were moving the bigger pieces of furniture into the living room. From the next upstairs bedroom,
51
I could hear the Pettit brother and sister talking with Lily. It was hard to tune everyone out and focus on Sophie, particularly because the Pettits were talking about me.
“Are you sure you should let that guy hang out in your little sister’s room?”
Jack asked. His voice held a mixture of concern and distrust.
“C’mon. Don’t be gross. He’s not hanging out. He’s helping us move just like everyone else.”
“Well, I wouldn’t let him near
my
sister.”
Gabrielle laughed.
“He can get near me anytime he wants. I like danger.”
I grinned to myself and placed the last of the
Baby Sitter’s Club
series on the shelf.
“Calder, can you help me with this?” Sophie asked. “There’s too much tape. I can’t open it.” I got up and took my car key out of my pocket. I sliced through the tape and gestured like a magician’s assistant at the contents— mostly nappy stuffed animals.
“I seriously doubt he’s dangerous,”
said Lily. The sound of pulling and cutting tape followed her words.
“Wouldn’t matter,”
Jack said.
“I could take him.”
“Neither one of us needs your protection, Jack,”
said Gabrielle.
“What are you taping on your walls?”
Jack asked. I heard the faint rush of air as someone ripped something out of someone else’s hands.
“What do you like better, Calder? Pandas or frogs?” Sophie asked.
“Hmm? What? Oh, frogs, I guess.”
She handed me a green stuffed animal. “You can have that one, then.”
52
“They’re pictures of famous poets,”
Lily said.
“Looks like a bunch of old dead guys,”
Jack said.
“Dude, don’t be such a philistine,”
Gabrielle said. There was
the sound of someone, probably Jack, pounding his chest like a gorilla.
“Besides,”
Gabrielle continued,
“how is this any weirder than the crap on your walls?”
“That’s art,”
Jack said.
“And my paintings aren’t crap.”
“Right,” Gabrielle said. “They’re inspired.”
Light footsteps fell in the hallway, and I looked up to see Lily standing outside Sophie’s door. She’d lost the beret, and her hair was messed up. She stole a nervous glance at me. “Everything okay in here?” she asked.
I wondered if maybe Jack Pettit was right. Was I acting too familiar too soon? I always had a hard time gauging normal human behavior.
Pace yourself,
I told myself.
Time to back off.
Hancock called up the stairs to the Pettits. “Gabrielle, Jack, your dad’s ready to go.”
Jack was immediately beside Lily, his eyes doing little to mask his disapproval of me or his disappointment in leaving. His chest inflated with air and his earlier look of confusion returned. This time I was sure I wasn’t imagining it.
I stood up, dropping the frog onto Sophie’s bed. “Well, I guess that’s it,” I said a little louder than necessary. I stepped into the hallway. “Hope to see you all soon.”
Some of you more than others,
I added mentally, throwing Sophie a parting wave. Lily frowned.
“You’re leaving?” Sophie asked, clutching a matted bear to her chest. “Already?” Her eyes grew round, and her bottom
53
lip projected. “Don’t you want the frog?” She reminded me of a smaller, human version of Pavati.
“Oh, sorry,” I said, retrieving her gift. “Of course I do.”
The Pettits’ van passed me as I walked to my car. So did the rest of the movers, looking weary. One of them massaged his own shoulder before climbing into his vehicle. One guy looked under his truck for his missing sweatshirt.
I drove down the road a half mile and parked at a nearby boat launch before doubling back on foot. I had strict instructions from Maris to learn as much as I could, as quickly as I could, so I prepared to study the Hancocks for the rest of the afternoon, to see what they did when they thought no one was watching.
I sat in the pine branches, spying through the newly uncovered windows. Hopefully, I’d learn something of value that would keep Maris off my back for the night. Maybe she’d actually let me sleep.
The late- afternoon sun drew long shadows across the Hancocks’ front yard. It was cold in the trees. And quiet. The Hancocks were settled in. Mrs. Hancock was in the kitchen, unpacking boxes. Through another window. I could see Hancock assembling a bookshelf.
Lily lay belly- down on the living room floor, her knees bent and her feet crossed in the air. She was reading a book but not turning the pages. She seemed to be reading the same lines over and over, mouthing the words as she read them. Memorizing them?
Sophie played nearby. She had her Barbie and Ken dolls in bathing suits, swimming through the green shag carpeting like they were crossing the Channel. When her shaggy lake
54
came to the base of the gun cabinet, Ken and Barbie turned into rock climbers and scaled its mahogany doors.
On the other side of the glass panes, the Hancocks lived their lives, oblivious to the danger I posed. Somewhere in my history, in some distant memory, I remembered what it meant to be a family. Or at least something close. It bothered me that I’d have to disrupt this peaceful picture. Doubt gnawed at my gut. Maybe I couldn’t do this. Maybe I didn’t have it in me. But if I couldn’t complete my assignment, Maris would never release me.
I was such a hypocrite. Why was it okay to destroy a family when I knew what it meant to be destroyed?
Because this is justice,
I reminded myself.
And it’s justice deserved.
I squirmed in my hiding spot.
Do something, people,
I urged.
Say something.
The silence dragged on. I imagined my first report to Maris: “We have underestimated our enemy. They are lethal. We are in serious danger of the Hancocks boring us to death. Abort, abort, abort.” I was just about to laugh at my own self- entertainment when a clatter of dishes shattered the silence. I jumped and pulled farther back into the branches.
“Carolyn! Are you all right?” Jason Hancock was on his feet. The girls stared at each other for a second before running after him. I climbed higher to get a better view. Carolyn Hancock sat on the kitchen floor, curled into a ball in the center of a debris field. An empty box marked
Everyday Dishes
lay at her feet.
“I thought this was supposed to be one of my good days,” she whimpered into her knees. Lily knelt beside her mother and helped Hancock pull his wife to her feet.
55
“It’s okay, Carolyn.”
“How is this okay?” she asked.
“It’s only dishes, Mom.”
“Stupid dishes.” She picked up a plate that had managed
to survive and smashed it against the floor. “Stupid house.
Stupid body.”
“Carolyn honey . . . Shhhhh, baby, it’s okay.”
Sophie let out a sob and ran for the stairs. Lily followed,
calling after her. Mrs. Hancock cried into her husband’s shoulder. “Don’t ever leave me,” she said, and she laid her head against his chest.
He supported her as they walked to the couch. He grabbed her cane as they passed through the kitchen door.
“As if I could.”
“Jason, what are we doing here?”
“You know what we’re doing here. It’s going to be good for all of us, Carolyn. You’ll see.”
“Restful climate,” she said with disgust. “We could have gone anywhere. Why here? Why now? How is this supposed to make things better?”
Hancock’s gaze drifted to the ceiling. From the upstairs bedroom, Sophie’s wailing cry filled my ears with shame.
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9
INDECISION
M y sisters and I surfaced one at a time, fifty yards from the Hancocks’ shoreline. Behind the house, treetop silhouettes pierced the pink and purple sky. We’d been repeating this scene every summer for over forty years: swimming back and forth in front of the house, watching the windows, hoping for some sign of the family’s return. It felt strangely dreamlike to be seeing light in the long- darkened windows.
Our bodies bobbed in the inky water, nothing more than shadows. We had no concerns of detection. Tallulah broke the silence.
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“What have you decided, Cal?”
“The little one.”
Tallulah looked pleased with my choice. Relieved, maybe.
Pavati, not so much.
Maris nodded. “She’s smaller. Weaker. How will you
do it?”
I grimaced. “She likes pretty things. Pavati?”
She turned at the sound of her name, but I kept my eyes
straight ahead.
“She’ll follow you,” I said.
“Of course she will.”
“I want you to play with her. Be nice. Show her things.
Let her have a good time. Keep her out past dinner.” “I can do that.”
“Tallulah, can you be gentle?”
A worried look crossed her face. “How gentle?” “You’ll need to knock her out. But you can’t kill her. Can
you do that?” Of the three, she was the most likely to pull it
off. I stared into her eyes as her mind processed my request.
I could imagine her hands around Sophie’s neck, slowly putting her to sleep while Pavati smiled into the little girl’s face,
telling her she looked sleepy and didn’t she just want to take
a nap?
“I think so. If I’m careful.”
“What about me?” asked Maris.
“Nothing. I don’t want you to do anything.”
She feigned offense, but then added, “You’re probably
right.”
“When she’s unconscious, carry her to the rocks. They’ll
search for her. I’ll join the search party.”
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The girls nodded.
“When she wakes up,” I continued, “you can tell her she fell. I’ll carry her home.”
“You’ll be their hero,” said Pavati.
“That’s what I’m thinking,” I said. “It’ll also give me reason to come back and check on her. Hopefully, they’ll want to thank me. That’s where your fishing trip will come in, Maris.”
A slow, thin smile spread across her lips. Her hair floated on the surface of the water like spilled cream.
“I’ll take over from there,” she said.
I shrugged. “Whatever.”
The light in the dormer window lit a path across the side yard toward the water. We could see Sophie’s face. She was brushing her hair.
“Is that the one?” Pavati asked, a look of adoration filling her eyes.
“Yes.”
“Such a pretty little girl.”
“I guess so.” My voice fell flat.
“If I had a daughter,” said Pavati, “I’d want her to look just like that.” She put her hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry. I know just what to do. I’ll find her tomorrow.” She pressed down on me and pushed herself upward, rising from the water. Then she dipped her head and dove into the lake. Maris and Tallulah followed without the slightest splash.
I remained behind, watching Sophie in the window. She stood up and walked out of sight, then flipped off the light. I was just about to follow my sisters when the front door slammed and another figure stepped off the porch and started