Lies Beneath the Surface (Buried Secrets #2) (8 page)

“Don’t beat yourself up over all this shit. Just think of it all as Karma bitin’ him in the ass. He’ll come to his senses. Call me if you need anything.”

After Luke leaves, I try to call Colton one last time before going to bed. When the call goes to voicemail, I don’t even bother with leaving a message. There is no changing the past. He of all people should understand that. But like Luke suggested, he will come around eventually; if he doesn’t leave me all alone, just like he did eight years ago.

I’ve never felt so torn apart in my life. Betrayal rushes through me as she mumbles the words across her lips. Words I never dreamed that I would hear her mutter, crush me to dust.

Over the last eight
years I’ve suffered an insurmountable deal of heartache. I nearly lost myself to addiction, but I bounced back and regained hope that one day I’d hold my precious darlin’ in my arms again. But this time I’d hold her forever. Somehow I managed to let her slip through my fingers and into the arms of another man.

Hearin’ Carly Jo’s gut wrenchin’ confession, pressure builds in my head, causin’ me to sway lightly on my feet. I shake my head to clear the cloudy fog that’s blanketin’ me and realize I’ve been holdin’ my breath. It’s in there, somewhere; lodged between my heart and my
lungs. I blow the air out hard and a husky grumble comes right along with it. I yell at Carly Jo, words I can’t even remember sayin’, then storm out the front door.

My truck rips from her driveway, leavin’ thick smoke in my wake. I punch the steerin’ wheel as I speed down the windin’ road.
I knew when I saw her with him today that something was off. All of the warnin’ signs pointed to him, but I let her deceive me playin’ me for the fool I am.

It takes me a minute to realize where I’m headed, until I cross the tracks at Millers Branch.
Redneck Crazy
by Tyler Farr booms from the speakers and I know just what the hell I’m gonna do. You ain’t seen redneck crazy ‘til you’ve seen Colton frickin’ Weston completely unhinged.

Approachin’ Luke’s house the fury inside me builds. I speed my truck f
orward, twist into his driveway crushin’ his Harley beneath my Silverado. Reverse. Repeat. Reverse. Repeat. I throw the truck in reverse one final time, then speed forward crashin’ into the side of his charcoal grey Silverado. Damn I hate the thought of damaging a beautiful Chevrolet, but when you mess with my woman, I’m gonna tear your shit apart, and turn your world upside down.

I see a flicker in the corner of my eye and when I turn to see what it is, I see Luke rushin’ back inside.
Damn pussy. You can run, but you can’t hide.
I throw the truck in park and two step my ass across the lawn and up the steps to his house. I grab the handle of the screen door and rip it from the hinges in one swift attempt at openin’ it. I toss the mangled remnants of the screen door behind me, then step inside in search of Luke.

He lunges at me
just as I reach out to wrap one hand around his neck. I rear back with my right fist forcin’ all of my weight to crash against his face. When my knuckles meet the side of his jaw, his head slings to the side as he tries to stumble backward, dazed. But I have a firm grip against his throat and refuse to let go. I grip my index finger and thumb around his Adams apple, cuttin’ off his air, and continue to deliver bone crushin’ blows to his face. My fist slides against the blood streamin’ from the cut above his eye causin’ me to lose my grip on his throat. He gasps for air and growls as he rushes me, knockin’ me on top of the coffee table that don’t hold our weight. When the wobbly legs of the broken down table gives way, Luke presses his knee into my abdomen, bringin’ his elbow into the side of my cheek.

Minutes pass as our brawl escalates, and the house sounds like it’
s fallin’ down around us. The TV screen has been busted, the coffee table lies crumpled in splinters against the floor under my back, pictures have fallen from the walls and whatnots are busted about the room. When I finally fight to get to my feet, Luke struggles with my strength as I shove him through the living room wall, bringin’ my fist into his stomach with a fierce sucker punch. As I bring my fist back, to deliver another blow, I feel cool steel against my neck and crisp
click-clack
echoin’ in my ear. I still my movements, bringin’ my hands up in the air to surrender. I take a step back, watchin’ Luke grip his waist as he doubles over in pain.

“Son, don’t know what y’alls brawlin’ over, but I think he’s had enough. So unless you want this bullet to come at ya fast, you better scoot your big ass on out my house.”
The old man slurs.

I back out the door, keepin’ my eyes trained on Luke’s drunk old man. “You ain’t seen the last of me Asht
on, you can count on it.” I say with a shaken breath before I step out the door.

I
make my way to my truck and assess the damage of Luke’s bike and truck. The Harley, well what was once a Harley is embedded into the ground. There ain’t too much damage to the truck, aside from dents and scratches down the back fender and tailgate. I shake my head at the destruction I’ve caused, then laugh because it was worth it all.

I start home but all of the events of the night have crawled under my skin, and I just can’t control the tremors that wrack my body. Carly Jo has cut me so bad, I just want to forget it all; become numb to the pain. I make a quick pit stop, then make my way home to put this night behind me.

I pull a shot glass from the cabinet, fillin’ it to the rim with my favorite warm, amber liquid. I pull it to my lips, inhalin’ the strong scent with a tremblin’ hand. I’m torn between copin’ with the heartache, consumin’ this poison, or dealin’ with it sober. Honest to God, I just ain’t strong enough to cope with any of this shit bein’ sober. I pull in a deep breath, then toss the Jack back, wincin’ as the burn spreads throughout my throat. I set the shot glass down then brace myself against the edge of the counter top.

I’m petrified of the road that lies ahead. One small mistake on my part has my world tilted on its axis, spinnin’ at a mach speed. I know if I’d just told her about Eric’s addiction, I could have possibly prevented the accident.
She wouldn’t have turned her back on me when I needed her the most. She wouldn’t have needed Luke that night had I just been honest. It seems honesty is the one thing we both lack in this so called relationship. I pour another round, tossin’ it back, but instead of Jack soothin’ me, I become enraged. I bust the shot glass against the backsplash leavin’ behind an imprinted dent in the tile, small shards of glass glistenin’ across the floor. I pull the bottle to my lips by the neck, and chug, ignorin’ the bite Jack leaves behind.

Walkin’ into the livin’ room, a picture on the mantel catches my eye and stops me dead in my tracks. I feel all of the
blood drain from my face as I pick the picture up and truly look at it for what feels like the first time. Carly Jo is sittin’ in my lap with her cheek firmly pressed against mine, stickin’ her tongue out with a goofy smile on her face as she looks at our little photographer. I’m lookin’ down at her, entranced by her beauty and happiness. Heidi Jo was so proud of her photography, she insisted that we get a print made of the picture. Floppin’ down in the recliner, I feel like all of the oxygen has escaped my lungs. The image of the woman I love captured in this picture, is completely opposite of the image seared into my brain in this very moment.

I take a few minutes to reflect the situation laid at my feet. It all rewinds in my mind; her confession, the tears, the guilt clearly written across her face. But it’s still too much. I keep sippin’ on Jack, and lettin’ the gravity of the
situation weigh me down harder as I continue to stare at the picture I have gripped in my hand. Before I know it, I’ve sucked the entire damn bottle dry.

A fifth
of liquor after six years of sobriety is a lot for any one person. I’m a big man, but a mean drunk. The longer I drink, the madder I get. I storm into the kitchen to get the second bottle of liquor I bought for this momentous, heart rippin’ occasion. When I step on a shard of glass, embeddin’ it into my heel, I reach my breakin’ point of pain for the night. Physical pain, emotional pain. I’ve had my limit. I pluck the shard out of my foot as rage consumes me. Finally allowin’ the emotions to release, I want to scream, cry, bust somethin’. I want to inflict this gut wrenchin’ pain on someone else so they have to hurt with me. But I’m alone.

I stagger into the livin’ room, glan
cin’ down at the picture again and see a different picture. I see the depravity and the venom in her hazel eyes. She never intended to love me. Never wanted to stay. Never wanted a family and the love that only I could give her. I slam the picture down on the end table, bustin’ the glass from the frame. With one swift flip, the end table flies across the room, shatterin’ the lamp to the floor into a thousand pieces. I want every bit of her essence gone. I can’t stand the faint smell of her on my pillows, her hazel eyes glarin’ back at me from the pictures on my dressers. So I clean house, drunk Colton style.

Within minutes, my
clean home is a disheveled, jacked up mess. I’m too drunk to grasp the destruction I’ve caused, both here tonight, or in the situation over all. I crawl into bed, and drown my sorrows into Jack, and the last hazel eyes that I see, when I close mine.

It’s been three days since I told Colton about Luke. He hasn’t bothered with coming into work, and has been avoiding me at all cost. Every call has been sent to voice mail and he ignores my text. I’m worried about him, but I’m trying to give him his space to work this all out. My last text to him was this morning at 9:12.

Me: Colton, I’m worried about you. You can’t ignore me forever. I know I made a monumental mistake, but I’m praying this is our baby, so we can have our happily ever after. I love you. Call me soon.

A short while later, Shelly calls to tell me that Emily Weston is on line one. I take a deep breath before picking up the line.

“Hello
, Emily. How are you?

“Carly Jo, I’m okay, but Colton is anything but.”

“Emily, he hasn’t been to work since Tuesday. What’s going on with him?”

“Little lady, you know more about it than I do, so
don’t play dumb with me. He ain’t well. I haven’t seen him like this in years. I’ve remained silent over this last month, but things are gettin’ worse by the day. When it starts to affect Heidi Jo, it’s time I intervene.”

“I’m sorry, Emily. We are going through a rough patch. I’m just trying to give him some space
.”

“Space.” She laughs. “O
nly thing between you and Colton is air and opportunity. I’m not gettin’ in the middle of it, but I have a little girl here who hasn’t seen her daddy since Tuesday and she’s worried ‘bout him. She talks about you all the time. She looks up to you, Carly Jo. You and Colton need to get it figured out.”

“I know, Emily. I’ll stop by after work today to see if he’ll talk to me. But I can’t promise that he will.”

“Thank you, Carly Jo. He loves you so much. I hope you two can work it out. This baby’s heart will be broke otherwise.” She says, before ending the call.

I procrastinate for the remainder of the day, finding any reason to stay at the office longer th
an necessary. Around six-thirty I finally power down the computer and make my way out into the cold to head to Colton’s. I drive five mile under the speed limit, just another attempt of avoiding this visit.

Pul
ling up the driveway to his house, I see his battered Silverado parked in the yard beside the house and deep cut tracks through the grass. I climb the steps of the porch, taking a deep breath as I raise my hand to knock. When my knuckles tap the door, it eases open with a slow creak. I peek my head through the door and call out to him. When he doesn’t reply I walk inside, closing the door behind me.

The stench of alcohol invades my senses immediately, and my stomach rolls with na
usea. I look about the living room in shock at the sight before me. Lamps shattered on the floor, end tables turned on their sides. Broken shards of wood and glass are everywhere. His house looks like a wrecking ball came crashing through it. A bottle of Jack Daniels is turned over on the edge of the coffee table leaving a dark stain in the carpet. The stench of alcohol is overpowering, and my heart cracks knowing that I’ve drove him to breaking his sobriety.

I walk into Colton’s bedroom to find him
splayed across the bed, sleeping off what is no doubt a massive hangover. His head is stuffed under a pillow and he’s snoring loudly. Beer bottles and a shot glass litter the floor. The pictures of us he keeps on his dresser are busted and there is a fist sized hole in the dry wall.

I
climb up on the bed pulling the blanket back from him and give his shoulder a rough nudge. He grumbles, tightening the pillow over his face. I nudge him again and he mumbles out, “Leave me alone, Mom.”

I run my hand up the side of his face and his eyes snap open
, blood shot and puffy from nights of drowning his sorrows in Jack. “Carly Jo, what the hell are you doin’ here?”

“
Worried ‘bout you. You haven’t been to work since Tuesday and you’re avoiding me.”

“Just leave
. Don’t need your sympathy. You know your way out.” He says rolling over, pulling the pillow back over his face. I punch him in the shoulder and yell out to him.

“Damn it, no. I ain’t goin’ any damn where! I made a mistake. But ya know what, so did you!” He rolls over, peering black as night eyes full of hatred right at me.

“Yeah, I did, darlin’. Eight damn years ago. But for the last six frickin’ months I did everything I could to show you my love, but it wasn’t good enough. Get on home, Carly Jo.” He grunts, shooing me off with his hand.

“
Get your ass outta the bed, and get a shower. You stink, and your house is a mess. I’m gonna make a pot of coffee and try to find you something to eat. Besides, if I leave now your momma is gonna kick both of our asses.” I say, rising from the bed to go into the kitchen. Colton throws the blanket back, pulling himself up off the bed.

“You mean to tell me m
y own damn momma ratted me out?” I turn back looking at his blood shot eyes, nodding. “Shit! Can’t get any damn rest with all you nosey ass women in my life.” He says stumbling off to the shower.

The entire house is an unruly
mess, so after the coffee is brewing, and I have a sandwich prepared for him at the table, I grab the trash can to start cleaning. As I’m sweeping up the broken glass in the kitchen, Colton comes into the kitchen and pours a cup of coffee. His hair has tiny rivulets of water dripping from the tips of his black locks, and a glistening sheen of moisture beads across his neck. He didn’t shave, the nearly four day old scruff tells me so. I like the scruff, it’s raw and sexy. I continue to sweep as he sips his coffee, but I can feel the hole he’s boring into the back of my head. Leaning down to scoop up the mess in the dustpan, Colton grips my elbow and pulls me up from squatting.

“Go home, Carly Jo.” He mut
ters, his face inches from mine as he peers angry black holes back at me. I can smell the hazelnut coffee on his breath. My knees tremor just a touch, and I’m not sure if it’s his close proximity or his rejection that’s doing me in.

“I’ll go home after
this mess is cleaned up, and we’ve talked. I made a sandwich for you. Go sit down and eat. After I’ve straightened up, we are sorting all of this shit out.” I tell him point blank then turn back to the dust and glass on the floor. Colton cracks his knuckles against his palms, then flex his wrists at his side.

“We ain’t got shit to talk about. You didn’t wanna be ‘round when I needed you most, don’
t need you here now.” He lashes back at me as he strolls carelessly into the dining room. Grabbing the sandwich, he makes his way into the living room to plop down in his favorite leather recliner, ignoring my presence. We’ve both hid behind the heartache long enough. So, I’ll use his tactic and smother it out of him. I place the broom back in the utility closet, then carry the trash can into the living room to clean up in there. I begin picking up the broken chunks of lamp when I turn to him to apologize.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, tonight. But we could possibly be having a baby, Colton. I
want
this to be your baby.” I pause, as he rolls his eyes. He flicks the TV on, turning the volume up to drown me out.  I stomp over to him and rip the remote from his hands, turning the TV off. I tear the back off, remove the batteries sliding them in my pocket then throw the remote across the room to the couch. Colton shoves the remaining end of the sandwich into his mouth with a cocked eye brow then shakes his head at me rolling his eyes.

“Well, ya
ain’t gonna give me any damn peace, so let’s hear it. Tell me how you love me, tell me how bad you frigged the hell up. Tell me how you just lost the one man who loves you like there’s no tomorrow. I wanna hear all of your heart grippin’ declarations of love for me, darlin’. So let’s hear it.” He says as he leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees.

I flinch at his words as they slice against my
wounds, but suck back the pain because this is gonna be dealt with now. I sit down on the floor beside the recliner, pulling my legs up to my chest. “I haven’t lost you, Colton. I just cut you with the same knife you cut me with once.”

“Always playin’ that card, huh?” He laughs, shaking his head as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Colton, I’m not trying to lay the blame at your feet, because this time I screwed up. I’m just trying to remind you that we all make mistakes. We never meant to hurt each other, but we did. I forgave you and tried to move on. I never fully trusted myself with you and tried to hide behind my heart. But as you told me before, you own every inch of me; so I can’t belong to anyone else.” He takes a minute to let my words soak in, flexing his wrists as he stares up at the ceiling fan that is rotating lazily, stirring a cool breeze about the room. I tighten my grip around my legs, searching for the warmth and comfort that I have within myself to make it through this night.

“There’
s only so many times that I can be slapped in the face and rejected by you before I give up.” He pinches his eyes shut firmly, not daring to look in my direction. He hasn’t looked me in the eyes at all tonight. “I’ve lost the battle to Ashton, I just have to accept it in my own time and find a way to heal.”

“Is that what you think, that I want Luke?”

“It’s pretty obvious, darlin’. I saw you with him at the diner Tuesday. Don’t act so gullible.” He sneers.

“
Were you following me?” I ask in disbelief. “Luke Ashton is my best friend. He was there for me when the only interaction you wanted was physical. He listened to me vent and consoled me when I needed it. It’s just when I left you in the hospital that night I let it go too far, and so did he. I don’t regret that Luke is in my life, but I do regret that I let my lapse in judgment drive a wedge between us and possibly alter our future together.” I pause, trying to find the courage to continue speaking. “I regret that I cut you so deeply and that you may never be able to forgive me. More importantly, I regret that this baby I’ve been blessed with may be raised alone because I’ve driven you so far away. You are the only man I’ll ever love, Colton. Even if I love you from a distance.” I confess, but my words aren’t sincere enough for him.

“
I know I smothered you, Carly Jo, but damn it, I was so scared that I’d let you slip through my grip if I didn’t hold you too close. What the hell am I supposed to do now, Carly Jo? I need time to process all of this shit.”

“What the hell have you been doing for the last three damn days?
” He shrugs at my question as he waves his hand at the empty bottle of Jack on the coffee table. “Colton, is it that bad that you had to fall back into alcohol? Do you realize that your daughter is worried sick about you?” I question him, but he scrubs his face with his hands in frustration.

“I appreciate the concern, Carly Jo, I really do.
But I can’t even stand to look you in the eye right now. I just wanna be left alone until I can figure out how to deal with it all.” He murmurs. I nod to him then stand to leave, but find him behind me. He pulls in a shaky, ragged breath and I can feel the trembles as they radiate from his body. He is all consumed with emotions and is trying to stay strong in front of me. I turn to face him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He tenses up momentarily, but when I press my face to his chest, listening to the unsteady rhythm of his heart pounding out his chest, he melts into me. He wraps his arms around me holding me close, as he presses his face deep in my hair. He releases a throaty groan, then presses me tighter against him.

“Do you feel that, Colton? You’re heart still beats for me. I may have cracked it, b
ut it’s racing so fast because I’m in your arms. Please don’t give up on us.” I plead with a shaky whisper. I feel a tear drop touch my shoulder as Colton chokes back a sob. I pull away from his embrace, but he grips my face with both of his calloused hands, swiping the tears that have spilled over my swollen lids with the pads of his thumbs.

“I’ll always love ya, darlin’. Don’t ya ever forge
t the sound of my heart beatin’ just for you, Carly Jo.” He presses his swollen lips to mine, with a hungry fervor. He sucks my lip between his teeth, licking softly, before he lays one soft final kiss to my aching lips. He pulls back, then walks me to the front door, without saying a word. I give in to his request, and leave him to cope with his heartache in his own way. No goodbye is spoken, just one passionate kiss that tells me he just let me go.