Authors: Elliott Kay
“Plus
there’s all the other shit that didn’t actually involve shooting anyone,” he
continued, “but use of force is still use of force. I mean they deliberately
call me out to help with warrants on guys they know are violent, they stick me
in the most violent precinct in the city, and they wonder why I’ve got so many
use of force incidents in my jacket? Not once have I been the one to initiate.
Not once.”
“Rookie
of the year on your first year, though, right? Didn’t you get some awards this
year, too?”
“Not
sure if I get to keep all that if they have to bounce me.”
“Yeah,
but you said yourself, all the evidence is on your side, right?”
“Sometimes
it doesn’t matter. The department’s in so much hot water with all the stuff
that really
does
stink over the last couple years that it might not
matter how right this was. Like I said, it adds up.”
Molly
paused. “Do you think it was right?”
“Well,
I don’t feel
good
about it, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I
didn’t ask that.”
“Why
not?”
“Don’t
need to. But do you think it was right?”
Kevin
took a deep breath and let it out. “I don’t know what else I was gonna do.”
“Nothing
else you could’ve done, aside from let them go. Which is what you signed up
not
to do.” Kevin shrugged. Molly leaned over a bit to press the point. “Those two
shitbags and their other three friends—who are still out there somewhere, but
now at least they’re shitting their pants—those guys all murdered an innocent
woman last night and put her grandson in the hospital, and that poor kid gets
to live with the memory. They tried to kill you and your partner. They probably
would’ve killed others. You did what somebody had to do. Just like with both of
the other fuckheads you shot.”
Kevin
looked at her, then turned his attention to Onyx. “This birthday party’s cheerful,
huh?” he asked her.
“We
like you,” Onyx said with a sweet smile. She even batted her eyelashes at him.
“Their
dumb luck for running into a Mary Sue like you, anyway,” Molly added.
“A
Mary—wait, what?”
“A
Mary Sue,” Onyx grinned up at him. “She’s saying you’re so awesome it stretches
suspension of disbelief.”
“Yeah,
I know what it means,” Kevin fumed, turning from Onyx back to Molly. “I am
not!”
“You
are, too,” she teased calmly.
“I’m
not a Mary Sue! And I’m not a fictional character!”
“You’re
a total bad ass, you did well in school—”
“You’re
really hot,” Onyx put in.
“—you’ve
got an awesome cat…”
“Okay,
first off, it’d be Marty Stu for me.”
“Eh,
whatever,” Molly replied dismissively. “You’re not hung up on gender bullshit.”
“Okay,
if I was a Mary Sue, I’d be able to actually communicate with my cat for real
instead of just pretending I know what he’s thinking.” Kevin took another gulp
of his drink. “And I’d have a hot girlfriend. And a unicorn. And a magic sword
or something.”
“You
do have a—wait, what about Meredith?” Molly asked. “What happened with that?”
“Went
back to her ex last week,” Kevin frowned. “Didn’t I tell everyone?”
“Ugh.
The useless drunk guy she left for running up her credit cards? How ugly was
that?”
“Wouldn’t
have been ugly at all if she hadn’t tried to take Attila with her.”
“Attila?
Really? I’m surprised you didn’t shoot her, too.”
“Well,
like I said, it got ugly, but that wasn’t me. Attila let her know whose cat he
is in no uncertain terms.”
“Sounds
like a crappy recipe for a birthday,” said Onyx.
“Yeah,
well. Like I said, I’ve had worse. I’m home, I’m not in a hospital and I don’t
have any funerals on the calendar.” He held up his shot of whiskey, clinked it
against theirs when they followed suit, and poured it into his Guinness.
“Cheers,” he smiled, and took a long pull.
Onyx
had hers down first. “So what happens now? With your job?”
“Now?
Two days of nothin’. Mandatory paid administrative leave after a shooting. I
wrote all my reports and statements, got my ass-chewings and my sympathetic
talk from the chaplain and yet
another
appointment set with the same
lame trauma counselor from my other shootings, and that’s it. They don’t want
to hear from me for two days. At all. I could practically turn off my phone.”
“Wait,
you’re supposed to sit at home and stew on it?” Onyx asked.
“Yeah.
Keeps you from doing anything crazy while you’re still rocky from the incident.
Lets you focus, gives the department time to figure out if you really did fuck
up and you shouldn’t be trusted with a squirt gun. I’m supposed to get my mind
off of it, but all I’m gonna do is sit around thinking about how I killed two
guys on my birthday. What gets your mind off that?”
He
stared at his empty mug with a sigh. “Worst part is, Tyrone and I were supposed
to go talk to kids at a middle school tomorrow. Do a big summer safety thing,
be all Officer Friendly and stuff. But I can’t do that when everyone knows I’m
really Officer ShootsYourAss.”
Molly
tilted her head curiously, glancing at Onyx. Her lover knew most of her looks
by heart. It wasn’t telepathy, but it was close enough. “So there’s no reason
not to sing yourself hoarse, throw your dignity to the wind and get hammered
tonight, right?”
He
shrugged. “Gotta be coherent enough to get a cab home,” he thought aloud.
“Never needed dignity for that.” He frowned and patted his pockets. “Not sure I
even brought any with me in the first place.”
“We’ll
take care of you,” Molly offered, gesturing for the bartender.
* * *
Onyx
honestly hadn’t planned on groping her girlfriend’s uncle tonight, let alone
this much. As she and Molly helped him out of the car, putting one of his arms
around each young woman’s shoulder, Onyx wound up putting her hand against his
chest, his side, and even his ass, all without any malicious or mischievous
intent. They had to get him inside his townhouse, after all.
He
felt exactly how she expected: toned and fit without being bulky. Once again,
Onyx decided that the women comprising Kevin’s string of short-term,
dysfunctional relationships must have been nuts. Then again, the fact that he’d
had to take restraining orders out on more than a few of them seemed to make
that obvious.
“You
don’ hafta do this,” Kevin slurred. “You c’n leave me on the doorstep. I’ll
jus’ take a nap there.”
“It’s
totally not a problem,” Molly grunted. Despite the physical strength that she
was usually happy to show off, Molly found the task of hauling Kevin inside
tougher than she expected. It was less an issue of dead weight than it was of
balance and direction. He was trying hard to help. Too hard.
“Nnnnnno,
really,” he went on, “I’ve slept outside lots’a timesh. I was a soljer, y’know.
Didjou know that? When you were still jus’ a kid.”
“I
know,” Molly said. “I remember. You sent me letters from Afghanistan.”
“Ssssuch
bullshit,” he grumbled. “But yeah. An’ I remember you bein’ jus’ a little girl
when I was in high school. You used to play with—”
“You’re
done!” Molly commanded him loudly. “You’re done. Finished. No more of that.”
“Okay,
okay, sorry,” he smiled at her, then turned to Onyx. “Sssshhhhh.”
Onyx
turned her head and blinked away the fumes. She knew Molly wanted to get her
uncle good and smashed for some specific reason, but as yet that reason hadn’t
been made clear to her. She staggered on, glad she had opted for her Doc Marten
boots rather than anything with fancy heels tonight.
Molly
dug around in Kevin’s pocket for his keys. She and Onyx kept him upright as
they tried the door, needing only three tries before she found the right one to
open the lock.
The
simple, two-story townhome was dark. A staircase rose only a few feet beyond
the front door, with the kitchen opening up immediately to the right. Onyx
heard a thunk at the kitchen countertop. “Aw, kitty,” she announced.
“Awww,
kitty,” Kevin slurred. He straightened himself enough to pull away from the
ladies, slipping behind them to put his arms out on the countertop around the
cat. Molly found the light switch, illuminating the room to reveal a healthy,
almost muscular grey and white cat. The pattern of his fur made Onyx
immediately think of snow tigers.
He
was also, from his demeanor, quite skeptical. Kevin petted him with one hand,
both elbows propped up on the countertop. The cat reached out to press one paw
against his cheek.
“This
is a nice place,” Onyx observed. “Comfy.”
“Prol’y
gonna haveta move soon,” Kevin complained. “Lan’lady’s gonna have a realtor
come over an’ assess ‘r something.” He let out a sigh. “This sucks. Lost my
girlfriend. Gonna lose my place. Might even lose my job.” Attila then stood up,
flicked his tail and walked out of reach. “Lost my cat,” Kevin added.
“He’s
just being a cat,” assured Molly. “Hey, Attila. We’re putting Kevin here to
bed.”
“He’s
gorgeous!” declared Onyx.
“Yeah,
he is,” Molly agreed with a huff. “Me and that cat are pretty tight.”
“He’s
my buddy,” Kevin nodded.
“He’s
keeping his distance from you tonight, you drunk,” Molly said. She slipped
around him, looking through his cabinets until she found a glass and filled it
with water from the tap. “Drink,” she ordered, holding it out to Kevin.
He
let out a sigh. “Okay,” taking it and downing it as instructed. “’m not gonna
have a hangover,” he said. “Drank a lotta water at the bar. Took some aspirin.
‘m sure I’ll be fine.”
Molly
leaned in to Attila and shared an affectionate headbutt. “You and me gotta talk
later, ‘kay?” she asked. The cat let out a neutral meow. Molly scratched his
head, then turned her attention back to the matter of her uncle. “Up the
stairs. I know you can make it on your own. Go. Wait, no, gimme the glass.
Okay, now go.”
Onyx
followed a staggering Kevin and an uncharacteristically bossy Molly up the
stairs, waiting patiently for her explanation. Attila remained in the kitchen,
watching with inscrutable eyes.
“No
no no,” Molly said in the bedroom before Kevin could collapse on the bed. Her
voice took on an unnaturally firm, serious note of command that surprised both
him and Onyx. “Not sleepy time yet. Shower first.”
Kevin
swooned a little. “Okay,” he mumbled before he walked into the bathroom,
seeming steadier and yet more lethargic than before. He closed the door behind
him. Then he opened it again and leaned out, wincing as he did. “Hey Molly,” he
whispered in a conspiratorial tone, “your girlfriend’s hhhhhot.”
Standing
in the corner outside Kevin’s line of sight, Onyx clamped her hand down over
her mouth.
“I
know, Kevin,” Molly said.
“I’m
just sayin’. You
totally
gotta hit that. Like, a
lot
.”
“Shower!”
“Okay,
okay, sorry I stink,” Kevin rambled as he closed the door again. The sound of
running water could soon be heard.
Molly
turned around with a mischievous grin on her face. Onyx was waiting with her
arms folded across her chest. “What the hell are we doing?” she asked.
“We’re
giving him something else to think about.”
“We
couldn’t just take him out to lunch tomorrow or something?”
“No,”
Molly said. “We’re doing this. Help me grab all the sheets to his bed.
Everything but the bottom sheet.”
“…why?”
“Because
it’ll be funny,” Molly said, yanking the comforter off of Kevin’s bed.
“What’s
funny about taking his bed sheets?”
Molly
didn’t answer her right away. Opportunity interrupted her. “Oh. Hey, Attila,”
she said, dropping down to her knees as the cat wandered in. He leapt up into
her arms without hesitation. “Attila, we’re gonna steal all of Kevin’s clothes!
Wanna help?”
The
cat looked at her, and then around the room, acting for all the world like an
entirely normal cat. As far as Onyx could see, there was nothing odd here
happening at all. People talked to cats as if the critters could understand all
the time, but everyone knew that was ridiculous.
Everyone
except Molly.
Attila
meowed again. Molly grinned widely. “C’mon,” she said to Onyx, “we’ve gotta
work fast.”
Onyx
stared at her lover with disbelieving eyes. She knew Molly was a prankster, but
this was beyond anything she’d expected to see—let alone participate in.
Minutes
later, the two stood at the bottom of the stairs with Kevin’s clothes hamper,
his blankets and even the box of clothes clearly marked for Goodwill at their
sides. The drawers from his dresser and the hanging clothes from his closet
were already in the car.