Life in the Court of Matane (23 page)

Austria, September 22, 1986

My dear sister,

Grüßgott
! I hope my letter finds you well. It was a long journey. I discovered a very strange phenomenon on the plane on the way over. You won't believe me, but as soon as you sit down on a plane, you stop feeling those little earthquakes. I highly recommend it!

I'm a little worried by your letters. So the king and Jane Seymour are already at daggers drawn? And who is this Anne of Cleves you speak of? Our new queen? You know, here in Austria they got rid of the monarchy over sixty years ago. I think they had the right idea.

I've come to quite a strange place. First off, I'm living in a tiny village (the one you can see at the foot of the mountain on the postcard) beside a lake. The landscape is straight out of
Heidi
. People bring their dogs with them absolutely everywhere, even to restaurants. Fortunately, there's no dog where I'm staying. Frau S. has a caged canary in the kitchen called Hans. On Saturday afternoon, the radio always plays the same Mozart piece before the news. As soon as the music begins, the bird begins to chirp away in its cage. He recognizes the music and wants to sing along. It's almost as though he's trying to imitate it—or showing how happy he is to hear it. I'm not sure which. “
Hansi, du Depp
!” Frau S. shouts at him. “Hansi, you idiot!” It's strange. She almost always wears black. I asked her one day why she wears so much
schwartz
. I thought she might be mourning someone. But that wasn't it at all! She wears black because she likes the colour. “
Weil ich eine Hexe bin
!” she joked. Ha! A witch indeed! Speaking of Frau S., I think it's time I told you a little more about the people who live here.

There are four of them. The father, mother, and two sons, Markus and Christian. One of the boys is my age and goes to the same school. The other is about the same age as our little brother. Speaking of whom, have you seen him recently? The Austrians have some strange habits. When I arrived, the father wanted to put my things away into a closet for me. As if I couldn't do it by myself. But that's not all. The two boys don't lift a finger. I still have yet to see them do the dishes. They wouldn't so much as water a plant. They stare at me in amazement every time I try to help out around the house. It's not as if I enjoy it; I just can't help myself. I tidy things away and do some cleaning. The mother looks at me as though I'm mad.

Meals are stranger still. We all eat together at the same time every evening. And hold on to your hat: Last night, Herr S. got out a bottle of wine. I kept waiting for him to fall under the table after an hour or two. But no! They finished their bottle and laughed until it was time for the news. I have no idea what they were laughing at; I only understand the most basic sentences. I haven't said much since I got here. They watch the news every night at 7:30. That usually makes them sad, but not for long. They'll often go on drinking while they watch the news, but even then there are no shouting matches. I'm beginning to wonder what kind of house I'm in. It's all very strange. I'll keep you posted.

You should also know that I've lost the little cod scales I used to have behind my knees. I woke up one morning and there they were on the sheets, shining like little diamonds. I've put them in the envelope. Would you be kind enough to throw them into the St. Lawrence for me? I think that's the best place for them.

I'm very sorry about the king's boat. I would never have thought the hull would end up at the scrapyard. What a waste! You know, I read somewhere that even Jacques Brel got rid of his boat, so...

I've got to go finish my homework now. My Austrian teachers give us plenty to read. Tonight it's Shakespeare's
Taming of the Shrew
. Herr and Frau S. say they'll take me to see the play in Vienna this winter. Any news of Anne Boleyn?

Your little brother

P. S. I swear my nose is always buried in the dictionary. Today, I learned that “in vain” translates as
vergeblich
. It's a funny language, isn't it?

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