Life on Mars (25 page)

“It's Morse code,” I said.

“What's it saying?”

I sat down heavily on the ground, my whole body welling up with so much possibility I felt like I could run a marathon and solve calculus puzzles and cook a turkey dinner all at the same time.

“Kid, you keep dreaming, and I'll promise you one thing. If there is life out there somewhere, I will send you a sign.”

“You okay, Arty?” Dad asked. “You look funny. What did it say?”

“It said, ‘HI HUEY.' ” I turned my face up to the sky and smiled.

Hi, again! Arty here. Thought you got rid of me, didn't you? Wait—don't turn the page yet! I promise this won't take long. Since this story is called
Life on Mars
, I figured you should know a thing or two about the fourth planet from the sun so you don't get burned when asked about it.

* Mars was named after the Roman god of war because of its bloodred color. Which is kind of gross. And also wrong. It turns out Mars isn't red because of blood. It's red because of all the iron rusting in its soil.

* Mars's two moons, Phobos and Deimos, might actually be captured asteroids and look like potatoes. I think it would have been cool to name them Fries and Tots.

* Mars's version of the Grand Canyon is a huge canyon called Valles Marineris, which is about the length of the entire United States and is four miles deep. Yet I am convinced that Tripp wouldn't see it and would fall right in.

* Mars has polar caps just like Earth does. But don't start wondering whether those polar caps have penguins, because you'll get sidetracked drawing Martian penguins for about three hours. Trust me on this.

* During the winter, Mars gets so cold that almost a quarter of the atmosphere freezes. Sort of like
that time we were sledding and Tripp's sneeze froze to his face.

* Mars's atmosphere is very thin and made up of mostly carbon dioxide, so it would be impossible for humans to breathe there without a space suit. Sort of like trying to breathe in a blanket fort with Tripp when he goes all sleepover nebula on you.

* Scientists named some of the rocks on Mars's surface funny names like Scooby Doo, Barnacle Bill, Lumpy, and Hedgehog. There's even one named Eyebrow. Speaking as someone named after an armpit, I don't think Eyebrow's so bad.

SPACE ANIMALS

When I talked about Comet yipping at my heels inside a doggy space helmet, you probably thought I was crazy. I mean, don't you need thumbs and stuff to operate a flying object? Turns out, lots of animals have been in space. Here are a few:

* In 1948 and 1949 the United States sent several rhesus monkeys into space using a V-2 rocket. This was called the Albert series, because all the monkeys were named Albert. Basically, if someone tells you they're going to strap you to a rocket and launch you into space and you're the fourth Albert they've sent in a year, and come to think of it, you haven't seen any of the other
Alberts in a really long time … you might consider running away.

* Yorick, a monkey who took a 236,000-foot flight into space on an Aerobee missile in 1951, got the title of First Monkey to Survive a Trip to Space. He was mostly glad his name wasn't Albert.

* In 1957 the Soviet Union named a stray dog Laika, stuck her on Sputnik 2, and launched her into space. Laika's name meant “Husky” in Russian, but the United States nicknamed her “Muttnik.” Laika made it into space just fine, but they forgot to figure out a reentry strategy, so Laika probably should have been named Albert.

* “Ham” sounds like the name of the first pig in space, but it actually stands for Holloman Aero Med (because astronauts aren't any better at coming up with acronyms than I am). Ham was the first chimpanzee to make a suborbital flight, and since Ham made it out okay, they decided maybe Alan B. Shepard Jr. would too. He was the first American to launch into space.

* Enos was the first chimp to hop into a Mercury Atlas rocket (okay, I don't know for sure that he hopped. In fact, I think it's pretty unlikely that he hopped. He may have skipped or climbed or been carried or even just plain walked in a chimpy way). He orbited the earth on November 29,
1961. Thanks to Enos's successful flight, John Glenn was able to orbit the earth just a few months later, in February 1962.

* You probably couldn't count how many mice have been launched into space, starting way back in 1948, when a couple of them tagged along with the Alberts. Also rats, guinea pigs, rabbits, and loads of fruit flies and other insects have been sent into space. In April 1998, the seven crew members of space shuttle
Columbia
were joined by over two thousand creatures. Now, that is one crowded spaceship! I wonder if any of them were named Albert.

CASH'S AND ARTY'S MORSE CODE TRANSMISSIONS

WE COME IN PEACE

TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER

HOW'S THE WEATHER UP THERE?

WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?

I'LL HAVE THE SPAGHETTI

COMET EATS DIRTY SOCKS

VEGA SMELLS LIKE DIRTY SOCKS

CASSI IS A DIRTY SOCK

M
any awesome people work hard to turn an idea into a book. I'd like to thank some of them now.

A
s always, first and foremost, I thank my agent, Cori Deyoe, for encouraging me to write a middle-grade story featuring a boy main character. Once again, you knew what I could do before I knew what I could do.

R
eally good editors are as precious as a foam finger–wearing Martian yeti with a flashlight and a working knowledge of Morse code. Thank you, Brett Wright, for the amazing and thoughtful revisions, the support, the enthusiasm, and especially the doodles. You are out of this world!

S
pecial thanks to Michelle H. Nagler for being the first to love Arty's story, Nicole Gastonguay for the gorgeous design work, Linette Kim for giving Arty an early read, and Sandra Smith and Pat McHugh for double-checking my space facts and not throwing moon rocks at my head over all the punctuation errors.

I
would have no story and no Arty if it weren't for the curiosity and comic relief of my longtime space buds and travel partners, Weston and Jane. Thank you also to the presenter at the Kansas Cosmosphere and Space Center planetarium in Hutchinson, KS, for making me giggle about an armpit, and to Camp KAOS for making space awesome.