Life Sentences (20 page)

Pilar crinkled the paper in her pocket. Perhaps the idiot who left it thought she was a criminal or … or what?

The rest of her letter to Chad was typical. And it wasn’t criminal or weird.

Pilar pulled into her parent’s drive murmuring,
I’ll love you always, Chad
.

C
ELESTE WAITED AT THE
door. Lately each time Pilar saw her, she had changed a little. Her hair was cut in a shorter, more youthful style rather than the rigid Gross Pointe page boy. She had even taken to wearing chic casual slack outfits, shedding years of skirts, panty hose, and heels.

Pilar barely got out of the car before Celeste circled her arms around her. “It’s so good to have you living close by.” She held Pilar at arm’s length. “And you look so much better than when you were up north. That red dress is perfect for you.”

“You look great, too.” They walked arm in arm to the entrance. “If I didn’t know better,” Pilar giggled, “I’d think you’ve found a boyfriend. You’re acting like a girl in love.”

Celeste laughed. “You’d be surprised what’s going on inside this old girl.” She swept her right hand down her body and twirled.

Pilar would like to know what was going on. She acted peculiar, and it wasn’t because Pilar moved nearby. “Is Father away?” Pilar looked inside the library.

“Yes,” she answered quickly and with obvious satisfaction. “We have so much to talk about.” Celeste changed the subject with ease. “Where are we going for brunch?”

Something was definitely up. “I made reservations at the Dearborn Inn.”

“That’s such a long drive.”

“No matter. It’s a gorgeous day. And you deserve the best.” Pilar handed Celeste her purse and green silk jacket and nudged her through the door. “Let’s go.”

“I had forgotten you traded in your Mercedes for this wagon thing,” Celeste commented as she glided into the front seat.

“It’s a Subaru, not a wagon thing,” Pilar chuckled.

“Whatever,” she said in a valley girl accent. “It does suit you better.”

“Where’d you pick up that slang and accent?”

“From you, of course.” Celeste gave Pilar “the whatever” hand movement – both hands held at the side of her face, forefingers pointed forward.

Pilar guided the car onto I-94. The world was alive with the aromatic spring newness. The scent was both dizzying and inspiring. “Mother?”

“Umm,” she answered as though in a dream.

“You seem different.”

Celeste lowered her sunglasses to the tip of her nose and peered at Pilar. “How do you mean? I hope younger.” She laughed.

“I don’t know. You are so … happy. And I guess, glowing.”

“I’ve decided to divorce your father.”

Her answer came out so fast and without concern, Pilar almost pulled to the shoulder. “What!” she screeched. “What brought this on? Not that …”

“Not that you blame me? Is that what you were going to say?” Her smile filled her face.

Pilar slapped her hand over her mouth in mock horror. “You have always deserved better.”

Pilar mentally rehearsed how to interrogate Celeste later about her amazing decision.

A
FTER THE VALET TOOK
the car, the two women were ushered to a window table bathed in sunlight. The waiter poured champagne. Pilar raised her glass. “Happy Mother’s Day.” They clicked their glasses.

“Pilar?” Celeste asked before Pilar was able to start her gentle inquiry about her mother’s major life change. “I’m worried about you.”

Pilar spilled some champagne. “You needn’t be, Mother.” She dabbed the liquid with her napkin. “There’s nothing to worry about.” She noticed the napkin was pink, a traditional and stereotypical Mother’s Day color.

Celeste laid her hand on Pilar’s to stop the cleanup. “You seem so on edge. Since you went to Hawk Haven you haven’t been the same girl I’ve always known. Did something happen there?”

“No. Everything’s fine. In fact, I’m thinking about going to work in Africa. I’m not fulfilled working in corrections. There are too many policies which prevent any lasting reforms. I’m sure I can do more good working in a third world country. Though, I sometimes think a prison is the third world. Maybe I’ll work with Doctors Without Borders.” Until Celeste’s surprise registered, Pilar hadn’t realized how fast she babbled on about those ill-thought-out plans.

“What? You just got settled here.” Celeste’s mouth dropped open, her eyes lost their glow. “What are yourunning from?”

“Mother, I’m not running away from anything. It’s just that the administration won’t listen to me about what the women need. Here I am the medical director, yet any requests I make go on deaf ears. I can’t stand how the pregnant inmates are treated, like mules tethered together and led down narrow paths.” She slowed her pace and added in a deliberate, less manic state, “Pregnant women need to have rest, more food and nourishing snacks. And why are prostitutes in prison, for God’s sake?”

Celeste listened to her rambling, her mouth slowly turning down into a half moon. Pilar waited for her to respond to what must have appeared to be a stream of irrational prattle. Her mother only said, “Oh, Pilar, are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

Pilar abruptly stood. “Let’s get some food. I’m starved.” She pulled her mother’s chair out, almost toppling Celeste. How much did Celeste know about her plans, Chad, or at least someone like him? She couldn’t know much unless Celeste talked with someone when she visited Marquette. But, Pilar had made sure they didn’t speak to anyone from the prison. Who would tell her? Perhaps the same person putting messages on Pilar’s windshield.

“Good. I’m starved, too.” Celeste steadied herself and the chair as she stood. “But, I still need some answers.”

“I want to feel I’m actually making a difference, that’s all. In Africa I will.”

They ate in silence for what seemed like hours. The break gave Pilar the time to formulate an explanation about her planned departure. Though she had been thinking about it for a while, Chad and she had only recently agreed Africa would be a perfect place for them to hide, if it came to that. Better than Canada. It was too close.

“Pilar?” Celeste put her fork down. She leaned into the table as though she was about to reveal a dark family secret. “Do you date?”

“Of course.” Pilar laughed, but fidgeted with her napkin. “I was planning to tell you today about Chad.”

Celeste sipped her champagne. “Chad?” She set the glass down in slow motion.

“Yes. He’s someone I met in Marquette.” Pilar’s arms were damp.

“You never mentioned him before. Are you hiding him?”

Pilar wanted to tell her the truth. She wasn’t hiding him. The state of Michigan was. Pilar wanted to share everything with her. She needed to share it with someone, but … “No, Mother,” she answered instead. “Chad and I didn’t understand how we felt about each other until I made the decision to transfer back here.”

“What does he do?” Celeste’s uncertainty was clear in her tone.

Pilar bit into the quiche. She should have rehearsed the conversation better. “He’s finishing his term. After that he’s joining me,” she answered, with not quite a lie.

Celeste stared at her for several moments. “So, he’s a student?”

“Yes.”

“In what, Pilar? Do I have to pull every word from your mouth?”

Pilar sighed loudly enough to attract the attention of the couple at the next table. “He’s studying criminal justice. He wants to go to Africa with me.”

The other patrons’ cheerful chatter and the clink of flatware striking against plates were all that was heard for several minutes. “Mother,” Pilar pressed, “I think I deserve an explanation about you and Father.”

“You’re right, dear.” She gulped her drink. “I’ve consulted an attorney, but I haven’t made any final plans. I want to do this whole thing right so you and I aren’t cheated by that self-centered miser.”

“Those are strong words.”

Celeste nodded.

“But,” Pilar pried further, “when did you make the decision to leave?”

“Easy. The night you overheard your Father and me talking about his son. I knew then I could no longer live with that man.”

“Why didn’t you leave him after that?” For the first time in her life, Pilar wished she smoked.

“I stayed because of you.”

Her mouth opened to speak. Celeste raised her handto stop her. “You can think what you want. I believed you needed an intact family until you got on your own. Now that you are, I’m free to follow my dream.”

“I never wanted to stop you from being your own woman.” Pilar’s voice quavered.

Celeste reached across the table and patted Pilar’s hand. “It has nothing to do with you. It was entirely my decision as a mother who thought she knew what was best for her daughter. I may have been wrong about both of us. But, like George Elliot once said, ‘It’s never too late to be what you could have been.”

Would Celeste understand and accept what Pilar had become? A prisoner’s girlfriend? Perhaps in due time. Right now, Pilar only wanted to celebrate her mother’s newfound fearless self. Or, was that strength always there and Pilar hadn’t seen it? “Cheers, Mother.” They both finished their drinks.

Over coffee and dessert, Celeste described her plans to move from the Grosse Pointe house into a chic condo on the water at Nine Mile Road. “I don’t want anything to take care of and I want plenty of freedom to travel. Maybe I’ll visit you in Africa.”

Pilar’s heart skipped. If Chad and she were on the run, knowing their whereabouts would make Celeste a conspirator. She hadn’t thought about losing her mother if she fled the country.

“I certainly don’t want to live in that mausoleumanymore,” Celeste continued. “Besides, it’s your father’s family home.” She paused to look at the happy groups gathered at other tables. “I should have visited you more often in Marquette,” she said with quiet resignation.

Celeste chattered on as though she were merely planning a vacation. She sounded sure and positive about her decision. “I can’t wait to get started on my new life. I have a few more details to attend to, then I’ll let your father in on my decision.”

“He won’t be happy,” Pilar tittered. “I’d love to be there when you tell him. He’d never guess you’d have the spunk to do it.”

“Spunk, schmunck. I want to live the rest of my life my way.” She actually sang the last part like Frank Sinatra. Her determination made her so youthful.

When Pilar dropped her mother off at the “mausoleum”, Celeste leaned into the driver’s window. “Pilar, I’m still worried about you. If there is anything you need to talk about, please, please, come to me. You couldn’t do or say anything that could stop me from loving you with all my heart.”

Pilar kissed her on the cheek. “Don’t fret. It’s just the new job, the move, and all the recent changes. I’ll be okay.”

“You need friends, like that Jane up in Marquette.”

Hearing her name sent electricity up Pilar’s back. “I have friends, and I have Chad.” She smiled.

“Yes, Chad,” Celeste answered as though she questionedhis existence.

To ward off any more skepticism on her part, Pilar fed her a little more information. “Rest assured, he’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“How’s that, dear?”

“Chad not only thinks I’m beautiful, even my nose, he respects my brains and doesn’t ridicule me for my career choice. That’s never happened to me before. His total acceptance of me is worth more then just about anything.”

“Anything?” Celeste squeezed Pilar’s hand and quickly added, “I understand. But I still worry.”

“You’ll meet him soon.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Good,” Celeste nodded. “I look forward to it.” Though Celeste sounded reassured, her face was gnarled in worry and question. She stepped away from the driver’s window.

Pilar put the car in gear. As she drove away, Celeste called out, “Don’t be a stranger.”

Pilar waved out the window. “Love you, Mother.”

A
N HOUR LATER
, P
ILAR
parked in front of Maryann Wilbanks’ house in Center Line. She called Chad’s mother from her cell phone as soon as she was out of Celeste’s sight. She was determined to meet Maryann. She also wanted to explain her relationship with Chad. Pilar had to make it quite clear how much they meant to each other. It was theonly way Pilar could fight the jealousy that stabbed her each time Chad talked about Maryann. Chad and his mother were too close.

Pilar collected the pink baby roses she had purchased from a corner vendor and slid out of the car. While gathering her confidence, she studied the house for a few minutes. She was interrupted by a familiar voice calling her name. Pilar’s heart dropped into her stomach. She turned to the greeter.

Lorrie walked across the street. She hugged Pilar as though she, and not Maryann had been waiting for her. Lorrie pushed Pilar away. “You didn’t heed my warning, did you?”

“Lorrie, how grand to see you,” Pilar screeched like a Grosse Pointe debutante. “What’s it been? A year?” How could she have forgotten that Lorrie’s parents still lived across from Chad’s childhood home?

“Yes.” Lorrie eyed the flowers and then the Wilbanks’ house. “Why are you here?”

Pilar was caught and decided not to lie to Lorrie who sounded as if she already realized what was going on. Before she knew it, Pilar blurted out the entire tale. As Pilar related almost every detail, her narrative sounded more like a soap opera than her own life over the past year.