Life Swap (45 page)

Authors: Jane Green

‘Okay. How about Thursday?’

‘Can’t. Got a preview I have to cover on Thursday.’

‘Wednesday?’

‘Nope.’ Vicky is beginning to realize dinner doesn’t look quite so good either. ‘Actually, dinner isn’t that easy either, although…’ she hesitates. ‘I know it’s short notice but I could do tonight…’

‘Great!’ Hugh enthuses. ‘Locanda Locatelli at eight o’clock?’

‘You can get a table at Locanda Locatelli at eight o’clock on a few hours’ notice?’ Vicky’s impressed.

‘It’s not about what you know, it’s who you know,’ Hugh grins.

‘And presumably, Hugh they know too,’ Vicky quips.

‘Exactly. I’ll see you there.’

‘Great,’ says Vicky, and puts down the phone.

Hugh stands up from the table and gives Vicky the obligatory double kiss. ‘You look great,’ he tells her, and she shakes her head in denial, having come straight from the office and not having had time to change or even freshen up.

This morning she decided she was going for cute,
mostly because she didn’t have time to wash her hair, so she pulled it into pigtails, which she knows women her age shouldn’t really do but Kylie does it and gets away with it, and frankly if it’s good enough for Kylie it’s good enough for her. She’s in a grey ruffled-edge cardigan with a soft pink gypsy skirt and tan ballet pumps. The perfect office uniform. Admittedly, had she known she’d be at such a smart restaurant this evening, she would have worn something more sophisticated, something more Amber-like, but the lovely thing about living in London is that she knows it doesn’t matter – that one table might be filled with men in suits, and another with people in jeans, no one caring that much what anyone else looks like.

‘I keep expecting everyone in the restaurant to turn around and look me up and down to check out what I’m wearing,’ she grins at Hugh as she sits down.

‘Why would they do that?’

‘That’s what they do in Highfield. When you walk into a restaurant for lunch, all the women turn around just to make sure they’re wearing more expensive clothes.’

‘But I thought Highfield was in the country.’

‘No. It’s the suburbs,’ Vicky emphasizes the word. ‘It’s limbo-land, neither the city nor the country. Very strange.’

‘Not like the suburbs here?’

‘No, not at all. Everyone’s very stressed and busy and rushing their children around to make sure they fulfil their genius potential…’

‘I take it all the children have genius potential?’ Hugh grins.

‘But of course. There are no average children in the suburbs.’ Vicky grins back. ‘Whoever heard of anything so ridiculous! So it ought to be peaceful and country-like, because there are trees and meadows, and lovely winding country lanes, but everyone’s always rushing and honking their horns and trying to keep up with everyone else, so it’s all rather exhausting.’

‘Sounds like a nightmare. Actually, it sounds like London.’

‘No. Not like London. Probably more like Manhattan.’

‘I love Manhattan,’ Hugh says. ‘Haven’t been there for years. One of the reasons why I was hoping we’d be able to do Life Swap with you was to go back to Manhattan.’

‘Have you spent much time there?’

Hugh nods. ‘I had an American girlfriend when I was at university. She was a true New Yorker, from the Village, went to Stuyvesant High School, and I used to fly out and see her all the time.’

‘What happened to her?’

‘We lost touch,’ he says sadly. ‘I do google her from time to time but Lara was incredibly jealous of previous girlfriends, couldn’t handle me being friends with them, so I lost touch with all of them, which was a shame because some of them became real friends.’

‘I’ve never understood that,’ Vicky says.

‘What?’

‘That whole jealousy insecurity thing. I mean, if you
didn’t want to be with them, you wouldn’t be. How can someone in the past threaten what you have now?’

‘I agree,’ Hugh says. ‘Just one of the many reasons why it wasn’t meant to be.’

‘This is your long-term girlfriend?’

‘Was,’ Hugh corrects her.

‘So when did you break up?’

‘I moved out about three weeks ago. Probably just about the time you went off to America. We’re still supposed to be seeing each other, trying to make it work, but I can’t see the point. Maybe this is naive, but when it’s right it’s right, and after seven years together if it isn’t right, why keep trying?’

‘I’m sorry,’ Vicky says. ‘It must be hard after seven years.’

‘It is hard, but I’ve known for a while we were never going to get married. I knew she wanted to, and she was desperate for a child, but I could never see myself having a child with her. I still don’t know exactly why because I did love her, I suppose a part of me will always love her, but I just could never see us spending the rest of our lives together, and I couldn’t bring a child into this world knowing that. Oh God, will you listen to me? I should just shut up. Tell me about you. What’s going on in your love life?’

Vicky smiles ruefully. ‘Nothing to tell,’ she says. ‘The guy I was seeing who I thought I really liked is now shagging a major Hollywood star with legs that go on forever and I had to find out from a girl while I was in
America. Bastard didn’t even have the decency to tell me himself.’

‘Jamie Donnelly,’ Hugh says.

Vicky stares at him, her mouth open. ‘How did you know?’

‘I saw all that chemistry between the two of you when we ran into him that day we were having lunch, remember?’

‘Yes well, said chemistry didn’t amount to very much. Other than that I have a hot date coming up with Bill-the-chicken-man, and that’s it.’

‘Bill-the-chicken-man?’ Hugh cracks up.

‘Yes. Bill-the-chicken-man, and I don’t see why
you’re
laughing, Huge An –’

‘Oh all right, all right.’ Hugh raises his hands in defeat. ‘No need to get nasty. But who on earth is Bill-the-chicken-man?’

‘He’s a divorced father of two who lives in Somerset near my brother and sister-in-law.’

‘Are you interested?’

Vicky shrugs and blushes slightly. ‘He’s got a sexy bum,’ she says eventually with a grin. ‘And he seems like a nice guy. He’s got a great smile,’ she adds, wondering what else to say.

‘Well that’s a good start,’ says Hugh, smiling, and Vicky suddenly notices that Hugh’s smile is not so bad either. In fact, why had she not noticed before how attractive Hugh is? She sits a little straighter, and brushes her hair behind her ears. Not that he’s interested. He’s
just split up with his girlfriend of seven years. Stop it, she tells herself. He’s got to have a rebound relationship first, and he’s not even ready for that.

‘What are you having?’ Hugh asks, as the waiter hovers over them.

‘Hmmm? Oh sorry.’ Vicky blushes, lost in thought as she gazes at Hugh Janus. ‘Can you give me a couple more minutes? I was miles away.’

Two bottles of wine later Hugh and Vicky are still talking animatedly, each one constantly interrupting the other, each with a funnier story to tell. Neither of them is able to stop smiling, and Vicky realizes that she hasn’t had this nice a time in months.

Hugh walks Vicky home, weaving their way through the back streets towards her flat, both of them still talking until the awkward silence descends as they reach Vicky’s front door.

I fancy him, she thinks with a start, as they stand there, both ever so slightly drunk, both smiling at the other, but I shouldn’t ask him in. It’s too soon. He’s just come out of a relationship. I’m not going to do this. And I’m definitely not going to sleep with him. I’m going to play hard to get.

‘Do you want to come in?’ Vicky hears the words come out of her mouth before she can stop them.

There’s a silence. ‘I’d love to,’ Hugh says eventually. ‘But I’d better not.’

Vicky starts fumbling awkwardly in her bag for her
key to hide her disappointment, and Hugh places a hand on her arm to still her.

‘I really would love to,’ he says, looking into her eyes with a smile. ‘I’ve had a fantastic time tonight. Look, I’m going to be up to my eyes this weekend doing the presentation, but can we do this again?’

‘Sure,’ Vicky says, still embarrassed by her perceived rejection, turning to go inside. ‘Call me.’

‘Wait. How about next Thursday night? I’ll pick you up here? Eight o’clock?’

‘Sounds great!’ The smile on her face is both relieved and real.

‘Thank you for a wonderful evening,’ Hugh says, and he leans forward and gives her a quick, but soft, kiss on the lips, and pulling back with a regretful smile he waves and walks away.

‘Guess what?’ Kate is on the phone first thing the next morning, her voice full of excitement.

‘What? More chickens laying more eggs? You’ve added a cow so the children can get their own milk?’

‘Hmm, not a bad idea, but no, that’s not why I’m calling. Guess who I bumped into just now at the post office.’

‘Bill-the-chicken-man?’

‘Yes! How did you know?’

‘Oh Kate, don’t be so silly. Who else would it be?’

‘Well anyway, he was asking after you, and whether you were coming down this weekend, and I said I didn’t
know, so he asked for your number. Do you mind that I gave it to him? It’s just that he seemed really interested, and I had to tell you.’

‘I don’t mind at all. And yes, I probably will come down this weekend. But… I also had kind of a date last night.’ Vicky smiles at the memory.

‘You can’t have a date!’ Kate says firmly. ‘You have to marry Bill-the-chicken-man.’

‘First of all I don’t have to marry anyone,’ Vicky laughs. ‘And secondly, it wasn’t exactly a date, but he kissed me goodbye on the lips, and we’re going out next Thursday.’

‘With or without tongues?’ Kate asks suspiciously.

‘Without!’ Vicky exclaims in horror. ‘What kind of girl do you think I am?’

‘I know exactly what kind of girl you are,’ Kate laughs. ‘That’s why I asked.’

‘Well anyway. He’s really nice.’

‘Oh but please don’t fall in love with him. I bet his bum’s not nearly as sexy as Bill’s.’

‘Actually it’s not, but I’m not in love with anyone at the moment. I’m just having fun, and it’s lovely to have so much attention, particularly given that I’ve wasted the last few months with that bastard Jamie Donnelly.’

‘Oh you’re making me miss being single,’ Kate moans. ‘It’s so exciting, having all these lovely men.’

‘You don’t know that they’re all lovely. The bastard Jamie Donnelly definitely wasn’t. But I agree,’ Vicky smiles, ‘right now I love being single, and I wouldn’t
change places with anyone for all the money in the world.’

‘The piece is wonderful!’ Janelle calls Vicky into her office and pushes a preview issue of the magazine at her.

‘Life Swap: Could you step into another person’s life? Wear her clothes, live with her husband, go out with her friends? We sent single Vicky Townsley, Features Editor of
Poise!
, over to the country that spawned the hit show
Desperate Housewives
to see if she could live the life of a married woman. And Desperate Housewife Amber Winslow flew over to Vicky’s hip London flat to try and live the life of a single girl. Who was happier? Is the grass greener on the other side? Read on and find out.’

On one side is a photograph of Vicky, Eartha on her lap, glass of wine in hand, curled up on the sofa in her stylish flat. On the other side is Amber sitting next to the swimming pool, Richard grinning behind her, Gracie and Jared on her lap, Ginger lying at her, feet, all of them looking like the perfect American family.

Looking at the picture, Vicky feels a pang. Even now, even knowing what she knows, the grass still looks just a little bit greener, but as she starts to read the article, she realizes that just because the grass looks greener doesn’t necessarily mean that it is, and although her garden may be small, her flowers not yet blooming, her lawn just getting ready to renew itself after a drought, her grass isn’t so bad.

And who knows, with a little bit of fertilizer and some tender loving care, from Bill-the-chicken-man, or Hugh Janus, or perhaps someone entirely new she has yet to meet, her grass may turn out to be on the very best side of all.

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