Life Unaware (Entangled Teen) (15 page)

Chapter Sixteen

Sunday came and went without so much as a text from Nolan. As much as I didn’t want it to, it bothered me. It wasn’t like I was his girlfriend or anything. Hell, we’d never even gone on a date. I’d just assumed Nolan was the kind of guy who’d call a girl after she spilled her darkest secrets and spent several hours tucked in the crook of his arm—even after he’d fallen asleep. I guess I was wrong.

The worst part was that I had
liked
watching him sleep—studying the rise and fall of his chest while listening to the soft thump of his heart beneath my ear. I now knew his eyelashes trembled when he dreamed and that the corners of his lips pinched into a frown. He murmured, too. Soft, unintelligible words. Part of me was looking forward to teasing him about it, but a bigger part of me was ashamed I’d stolen moments I wasn’t supposed to have.

Apparently I was right.

After showering to make sure every last trace of pine needles and oranges was scrubbed from my skin, I checked Facebook, scrolling through status updates and checking to see if anyone had posted something nasty about me in the group. There were a few new likes (apparently I only
kind of
needed to commit suicide now—how refreshing), but no new comments. The status updates were pretty quiet, too. I mean, there were the regular posts about parties, a handful of selfies, and even a couple updates from Taylor about her and Amber going to the lake with Jeremy and his friends. I rolled my eyes when I saw a picture that made it look like Amber
loved
hanging out with Taylor.

Poor Taylor. She’d never see it coming when Amber decided she was done with her. I could only hope Jeremy kept his disgusting hands to himself. I liked the photo to let Amber know I was watching. No harm in that. Especially since before leaving Nolan’s house I’d left the small video camera on his desk with a note to please send me the video I’d taken.

Eventually, I forced myself to look up Nolan. He’d posted another link to a documentary, this one about some uprising in a town down south that happened before we were born, but that was it. I tapped the side of my phone, debating whether to like the post. On the one hand, I liked that he posted serious things. On the other, he was ignoring me. After Saturday, liking the post would be petty, but come on. He’d had time to watch videos and post links but not call me?

I hit like.

On Monday, I was in the school parking lot, locking my car door, when a shadow fell over my shoulder. I froze with my thumb on the key chain.

“Hey,” Nolan said.

My muscles coiled, and I fought to keep my movements relaxed. The last thing I wanted was for Nolan to realize how much he’d gotten under my skin. I turned to face him, once again glad for my dark sunglasses. No way was I letting him see the hurt in my eyes. “Hey,” I said, my voice flat.

“So…” He shifted his weight from foot to foot and tugged on his rumpled sleeves. I wasn’t used to seeing Nolan uncomfortable, and, as much as I hated to admit it, it made him look absolutely adorable. “You, um, left without saying good-bye the other night.” He scratched the back of his head and frowned.

I blinked. It never occurred to me I might have hurt
his
feelings by leaving the way I did. “I have an eleven-thirty curfew. You fell asleep, and I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You should have,” he said. “I would have driven you home.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “I drove to
your
house.”

“So?” He folded his arms across his chest. “I could have followed you home in my car, or at least walked you outside or something, but you just
left
.” Hurt flashed in his eyes, and he clenched his jaw.

Ouch
. The disappointment in his voice was almost worse than seeing twenty pages of texts plastered all over the halls. I cleared my throat and tried to calm the tremors starting in my hands. “I’m sorry. I would have woken you if I thought you were going to get upset.” I cleared my throat again. “So, um…you really wanted to drive me home?” The hope in my voice was embarrassing, but there it was.

He sighed and grabbed my hands. “Look. Saturday was…heavy. I don’t want things to get weird between us, and I’m not into head games, so I’m just going to say it. I like you.”

Heat burned my cheeks. “I like you, too.”

He smiled. “Good.”

We stood there for a moment, Nolan holding my hands while neither of us said a word. I watched him lace his fingers with mine, pressing our palms together. Despite our admission, an awkwardness settled between us like a wedge. I didn’t know if it was from the secrets I told him Saturday, the ones he still kept from me, or the fact that we’d blown each other off for no apparent reason. Whatever the reason, it felt like something thick and heavy pressed between us.

“Still weird, huh?” he asked.

I laughed. “Yeah, a little.”

“Don’t worry.” He released my hands, his face serious. “I can fix that.”

I eyed him skeptically. “How?”

“We’re going to play a game.” He guided me toward the school entrance. “Let’s pretend we live in a world where we don’t have to attend an institution filled with judgmental assholes. Let’s pretend we can do whatever we want without any social repercussions, and every time we do, we get a point. Sound good?”

I looked up at him. “Uh…”

“Good. Glad you’re on board. I’ll go first.” He sucked in a breath. “Right now, this very second, all I want is to be with you.”

His words came at me so fast, I could barely catch on to them, let alone make sense of what he was saying. “Be with me?”

We climbed the stairs toward the school entrance. “I can understand your confusion,” he said. “Basically what I’m saying is this: if you are going to be somewhere, I would like to occupy the same generalized area, preferably in close proximity. You know, as long as you’re cool with it. I figured we could start with the school hallways and see where it goes from there.”

I couldn’t help but grin. “I’m very cool with it. Though I think I might have to add one addendum.”

“Oh?” He quirked an eyebrow.

I stopped outside the glass front doors. “How about we draw the line at restrooms? Occupying the same stall and all that. It was cute the first time, but I think it would get old fast.”

He laughed and opened the door for me before following me inside. “Duly noted: bathrooms are off-limits.”

Unlike Friday, Amber and Taylor were nowhere to be seen. Christy must have held up her end of the deal. I’m sure my popping up in Amber’s feed only reinforced the threat. Nolan placed his arm around my shoulders as we made our way to our lockers. The last of the knots in my stomach unwound for the first time in days. Maybe even weeks.

“So if we’re keeping score,” Nolan said, “right now you’re losing zero to one. And it’s about to get worse because there’s something else I want.”

I grabbed the straps of my backpack. “What?”

“This.” He pivoted in front of me so suddenly I nearly tripped. Before I realized what was happening, his lips were on mine, soft, warm, and oh so much gentler than I wanted them to be.

I was only vaguely aware of the gasps and giggles echoing in the hallway. They’d seen people kissing in the hallways a million times before, but I could only imagine what kind of spectacle Nolan and I made, the freak artsy guy and the once-popular bitch hooking up between the science and computer labs. For once, I didn’t care what other people thought.

Nolan pulled away, his cheeks red. “You’re now down zero to two. If you want to catch up, you have to do something right here, right now, with pure abandon.”

“What?” I made a face. “I kissed you back. That has to count for at least half a point.”

He waved a hand. “Yeah, but it was
my
idea. That’s cheating.”

“Cheating, huh? How about when I do it like this?”

I grabbed him by the lapels of his blazer and hauled him into the slightly more private alcove between two banks of lockers. The second I pulled him against me, using his body to pin mine into the corner, his eyes went wide.

Then I
really
kissed him.

He groaned against my mouth. “Jesus, Regan. What are you doing to me?”

I smiled and bit his bottom lip.

“Never mind. Just don’t stop.”

He swallowed my laugh with a searing kiss that stole the breath from my lungs and the strength from my legs. If he wasn’t careful, I’d need a Xanax to calm down when we were done—which I’d probably have to take while sitting in detention, since I was pretty sure where his hands were violated the school’s code of conduct handbook.

“Hey, Nolan, I thought I’d stop by to see if you wanted to work—
What the actual fuck?
”

We broke apart on a gasp. Nolan’s friend Blake stood not ten feet away, her eyes widened and her lips parted in horror. Her eyes zeroed in on Nolan like I wasn’t standing there, still clinging to his chest. “Please tell me I didn’t just see what I think I saw.”

He turned to face her, carefully tucking me behind him. “I know what you’re thinking,” he said. “But you need to hear me out.”

“For fuck’s sake.” She raked a hand through her short blond hair. “You know who she is, don’t you? She’s one of
them
. You know what they did to Jordan. Have you forgotten everything?”

I edged around him, my legs still weak, and looked at Nolan. “One of
them
?”

Students were slowing, drawn to Blake’s raised voice. Just when things had started to die down, here I was giving everyone something new to use against me.

Nolan placed a hand at the small of my back. It was a small gesture, but enough to ease the anxiety that had begun building in my chest.

“Listen, Blake,” he began. “I told you things changed. We talked about this. That’s why we decided—”

“
You
decided.” She jabbed a finger in the air. “Don’t forget that. You never once asked for my opinion. God, I can’t believe you’d betray Jordan like this.”

Nolan tensed beside me. When he spoke, his voice was almost a growl. “I did everything I could for Jordan.”

Blake’s eyes hardened. “Apparently not enough.”

His hands curled into fists that shook at his sides. “I think you should go now. Before either one of us says something we’ll regret. I’ll call you later when we’ve both had a chance to cool down.”

She put her hand on her hip. “What’s the problem, Nolan? Can’t handle the ugly truth? I bet half the people here know what happened. Does
she
?” She scoffed. “God, I don’t even know who the fuck you are anymore.”

Without giving him a chance to respond, she stalked away.

“Fuck,” he muttered. The muscles in his shoulders grew rigid, and he slowly turned to me. “I’m really sorry, but I need to talk to Blake. Can we catch up later?”

“Yeah, sure.” Despite all the questions I had, I was glad to be dismissed. Blake’s obvious hatred for me as well as the tension between her and Nolan was so thick, it made it hard to breathe.

He pressed a quick kiss to my lips, slung his bag over his shoulder, and ducked through the crowd after Blake.

My phone chirped. Payton.

Meet me at my locker?

I sucked in a shaky breath. It had been weird being at her house last night and not actually talking to her. When I sneaked out of Nolan’s room, the last thing I wanted was to burst the happy haze I was floating in, so I didn’t stop by her room. I had no idea if she’d be happy I’d hooked up with her brother or if she’d wake up the whole neighborhood screaming at me.

Guess I was about to find out.

Payton spotted me the second I turned the corner. She jogged toward me, her blond hair in a ponytail that fanned out like ribbons behind her. Judging by the big smile on her face, I guessed she didn’t know about Nolan yet.

“Hey.” I smiled and gave her a friendly bump with my shoulder. “Long time, no see.”

“Yeah.” She grinned and bumped me back. “So what’s Blake’s problem?”

I exhaled loudly. “So you saw that, huh?”

“Yeah.” She shook her head. “Of all of Nolan’s friends, I never liked Blake. She’s always been so…bitter.”

“Good word.” I nodded. “She seems really hung up on his ex.” I knew I should wait for him to tell me, but I couldn’t help myself. “You wouldn’t happen to know what happened between Nolan and Jordan, would you?”

“Not really.” She shrugged apologetically. “He’s always been really weird about their breakup. Like, he’d get really pissed when I brought it up. I do know that before they broke up, Jordan’s parents came over and talked to our parents. They kicked me out of the room, but not before I heard something about Jordan being in the hospital. So maybe she got sick?”

I bit my lip. “That doesn’t make sense. Nolan’s not the type of guy to break up with a girl because she’s sick.”

“Oh?” Payton arched an eyebrow. “So how is it you’ve come to know what kind of guy my brother is?”

“Um.” I quickly dropped my gaze to the tops of my shoes before she could read the guilt in them.

To my surprise, she laughed. “I’m just messing with you. I already know you and my weirdo brother are into each other. I think it’s disgusting, but I’m cool with it.”

I stared at her. “You are?”

“Meh.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s actually been tolerable the last couple of days, so if his new attitude has anything to do with you, I’m all about it. That doesn’t mean I don’t find it a little gross. He’s…weird. You used to agree with me.”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t explain how, or even the exact moment, my feelings for him changed. All I knew was that when my world was crumbling underneath my feet, Nolan never wavered.

“Anyway.” She waved a hand in the air. “Can we not talk about my brother anymore because, ew.”

A group of girls gave us a dirty look as we passed. Their eyes bored into my skin and I reflexively hunched my shoulders. My fingers itched to fish my pill bottle out of my bag, but then I thought of Nolan and reminded myself that I was done hiding behind my pills. It was time to be the real me.

Still, I had no intention of subjecting Payton to my hell. “While I appreciate you being here for me, Pay, I’m not so sure talking to me is such a good idea,” I said. “You know what people think of me. Being seen with me will not be good for your image.”