Authors: Leo Sullivan
with such a high degree. I was sure that America could be charged
with the cruel and inhumane act of genocide. That day I walked
down the halls, it felt like I was walking down the gallows to hell.
However I was determined to do my best to tr y to change all of
this. The same dreams that I had when I was a little girl growing
up, I wanted to help my people, help my brother, I still clung to,
only now my convictions were stronger, more dedicated and
determined.
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That day I was going to do my damnest to help Life Thugstin.
I was risking all I had. I came to warn him of the insidious trap
that awaited him if he intended to go to trial with his team of high
powered lawyers. I overheard his attorneys conspiring with my
boss, David Scandels, the head prosecutor and a ver y ambitious
attorney that would stop at nothing in order to win a conviction.
To date this was by far the biggest case of his entire twenty-year
career, and he had no intentions of losing it.
The federal government had a 98 percent conviction rate,
which means an innocent defendant had about a 2 percent chance
of success if he was going to trial. Life Thugstin was facing a life-
time sentence, plus thirty years if he was convicted. My office was
prepared to offer him a thirty-year bargain and a ten million dol-
lar fine. I took a deep breath as I waited with my briefcase in hand
outside a steel door marked SHU, Segregation Housing Unit.
In my career as a prosecutor and going inside prisons I quick-
ly noticed a distinctive odor that omitted from the inside of pris-
ons. It smelled like generic Pine Sol and semen, marinating in fear.
About a month ago, Life was placed in SHU for the assault on a
confidential informant. He assaulted the inmate with a ten-pound
weight on the recreation yard. The inmate nearly died. He
received over two hundred stitches. The informant’s name was
Steven Davis, a.k.a. Stevey D, a small time drug dealer turned
informant. He was amongst the 78 inmates that were scheduled to
testify against Life Thugstin; in return they would all get signifi-
cantly reduced sentences. Some would be immediately released if
Life were convicted. Only one or two of the people actually knew
him and the government was aware of the fact that most of the
people testifying were lying, but that is how the system worked
with its 98 percent conviction rate.
Finally the steel door opened and I walked inside the
vestibule. I had the jitters; my stomach was in knots. The hum of
the air conditioner droned, and in the distance I could hear the
staccato of a steel cell door slamming. I was thankful I wore my
suit coat.
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“
May I help you?” a deep baritone voice asked from a speaker
above my head.
I flashed my ID with its gold star and announced, “Hope
Evans, the United States Prosecutor’s office. I’m here to see inmate
Life Thugstin. My office made arrangements earlier,” I said with
authority. Silence. I waited patiently. In the dim of the booth
inside the officer’s station flickered lights illuminated an array of
bright colors that looked like the inside of the bridge of the Star
Ship.
Click!
“
You may go inside. Someone will be there to assist you
in a minute,” the voice said from the speaker.
I walked through the door into another world. A world with-
in a world. A world where 88 percent were of poor impoverished
Blacks and Spanish decent. The federal prison institution used to
be a predominately white man’s institution in terms of incarcera-
tion, until corporate America discovered astronomical profits that
could be made of cheap slave labor. Politicians and federal judges
had financial investments in the cheap labor. Thus, harsh sen-
tences were given out, as a way to insure their investment. One
only had to go check the Wall Street stock market and he would
find prisons are amongst the best investments for wealthy white
men.
The cacophony of loud voices hollering and screaming roared
in my ears like a million angry Black men chanting, begging to be
let free. I thought about my brother, my own flesh and blood, liv-
ing in one of these dungeons. I thought about how my ancestors
were packed on slave ships like sardines in a can. This was no dif-
ferent than a slave ship. Even though I had been here before, it
always felt the same, cruel and inhuman.
Directly in front of me was a line of cells. Men ogled me. It
felt like I was at center stage at the Apollo Theater. I heard a voice
say, “Hey, Dirty! Hey Dirty! Come to the cell door. Look at dis
bitch here’rr! She fine as a muhfa.” Then suddenly a frantic banter
of voices echoed, signaling my presence, like a ship being sighted
by men marooned on an island.
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“
Hey! Psss. Damn, she thick.” Catcalls ensued. I tried my best
not to look, not to stare. Directly across from me I detected a jerk-
ing motion.
I know damn well this negro ain’t doing what I think
he’s doing,
I thought as a large burly officer approached. He had a
grin on his face, the kind men wear when they’re being mischie-
vous.
I guess he too must have been enjoying himself at the expense
of my arrival. After giving me a quick once over, with gaiety he
said, “Follow me.” I walked down the long narrow corridors as
Black men stared behind caged bars, open mouths with their faces
pressed against the steel. With each expression, invitation, flirta-
tion, masturbation, I regretted wearing my high heels and tight-
fitting skirt. We approached a door. The officer pointed and I
looked inside. Life sat in a chair wearing an orange jump suit and
leg irons. His right 1eg was shackled to a steel rod in the wall. All
of a sudden, the realization of what I had come to do dawned on
me, and for the first time in a long time I was scared to confront
a man. Not just any man, but the father to my child. I needed him
to know this. I needed him to know that I was going to quit my
job and help him. I was here to help him.
I turned to the CO, “I will interrogate the inmate alone.” His
eyes narrowed and looked as if he wanted to say something, but
thought better of it.
As I entered the room, Life looked up at me. His hair was mat-
ted. It looked like he hadn’t shaved in weeks and most of all, the
expression on his face said that he was not too happy to see me, at
all. The room was small. His presence was large, he actually was
intimidating me with his stare. In the room was a dilapidated old
desk and a crumbled Coke can that someone used for an ashtray.
There were two chairs, the metal folding kind. He sat in one and
the other one was a few feet away from him. The man just con-
tinued to look up at me with my son’s eyes. Call me sentimental,
but I wanted to break down and cry. But I didn’t, I had come to
warn him, protect him. I sat down next to him tried to smile at
the same time, taking the opportunity to compose my thoughts. I
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could feel my heart pounding in my chest trying to find its way
out. My tongue searched for the words that wouldn’t come out.
The moment was awkward, like his stare seemed to pin me to the
wall. I was here for my own personal redemption, the female ver-
sion of Hannibal. I was here to betray my government for the sake
of the love for my own people. God help me!
“
Life, I come to help.”
“
Listen, you Uncle Tom-ass bitch.” His voice was low, guttur-
al, like he had been saving up all his agony and pain for me. “If
you wanna help me, get a fuckin’ razor and let me slit your fuckin’
throat,” he said and leaned forward and hunked up a large wad of
spit and spat in my face. A trickle of saliva dripped from my chin
onto my lap. I just stared at him stunned, shocked beyond belief.
Lord have mercy this can’t be happening to me,
I thought. I was
here to help him, save him from this racist system that intention-
ally set out to destroy Black men.
“
All that Black conscious shit ya’ll be talkin’ bout, first chance
you get you sell a nigga out. Now here you is, a fuckin’ slave catch-
er fo’ Massa. All you niggas and so-called leaders is nothing but
fuckin’ sellouts!” he yelled at me, and for a moment I was sure that
he was going to kick me. I could see large veins pulsating in his
forehead and neck. In the distance I could hear frantic laughter, or
perhaps it was a cry. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words
came out, just a pained expression. He continued to berate me. I
just sat there like a child being chastised only this was worse, much
worse, as saliva dripped off my chin and for some reason as a Black
woman, all his anger, all his rage found its way inside of me and
nestled in a place that has been pre-conditioned to take abuse
from Black men. His refuge. My reservoir, a vacuum to my soul
that stored pain. I just sat there determined to weather the storm.
I willed myself not to cr y as I heard a shallow voice say, “I only
came to help you.” Then a whimper that gave way to a sigh that
lost its way down my throat.
“
Help me! Wasn’t it you that said that I’d end up dead or in
prison? I didn’t think that you’d be the one to help put me there,
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you and ‘bout ninety other hot-ass muthafuckas about to take the
witness stand against me and lie just to get their time cut and your
pussy ass is down wit this shit?” Life was now screaming at me,
with spit spewing out of his mouth.
“
Your lawyers are conspiring with my boss. They’re going to
sell you out, try to make a good show of the trial for the sake of
all the worldwide publicity. A guy by the name of Calvin Sweeny,
you may know him as Lil Cal, he’s the government’s star witness,”
I blurted out talking so fast that I could hardly catch my breath. I
wiped at the saliva on my face with my hand as I watched the
expression on Life’s face change from anger to disbelief, then hurt.
I wanted to say more, plead with him, and let him know that he
had a son that looked just like him and a woman that was willing
to do anything for him. All this may have sounded insane, but I
wanted to help. Suddenly, something washed over him, like the
calm after the storm. He could no longer look at me. I saw him
gaze up at the ceiling and saw his left eye twitch as he spoke.
“
Bitch, you think I believe you? I know them crackas sent you
to set me up. What they offer you one of dem house nigger jobs?
Mo’ money? Bigger office? You’re a sell out, you and the rest of