Oh, shit
, I thought. I hadn’t even thought of that. I had to think quickly. I said the first thing that came to mind.
“It’s my mom’s. My car is in the shop. Bad brakes.”
“Oh, okay. That makes sense. I was just wondering.”
“Well, I’d better get going.” I turned and started to slide into the driver’s seat.
Paul placed his hand on the door and leaned in toward me. “I’d like to see you again.”
“I’d like that too,” I said, although I really had no intention of ever seeing him again.
We exchanged numbers and then he closed the door and waved goodbye. I pulled out of the apartment complex and onto the main road. It took less than ten minutes to make it to Mom’s house on Jacks Creek. Just as I was turning onto Mom’s street, I noticed the same creepy black truck continuing down the road. Apparently, it had followed me…at least from Paul’s apartment, maybe even longer. A cold chill ran down my spine. I was growing quite tired of this stranger following me all the time. But what could I do? I had never seen the license plate, so I couldn’t very well find out who the owner was. I decided next time I talked to Dave, I would mention it to him. Maybe he could figure something out.
When I pulled into the driveway, a little shaken, it was ten-thirty. To my relief, the black truck continued on down the road. When I walked in the house, I could tell Mom was probably already in bed.
I crept up the stairs to my old bedroom and, luckily, Mom never heard me. I stripped off my coverall and swimsuit and stepped into a warm shower. As I stood there, I played back everything that had happened that night in my mind. Suddenly, I was overcome with a horrific feeling of guilt. Even though Ryan was dead, even though he’d cheated on me for a year, I still felt like I had been disloyal to him—to his memory. Tears started to pour over my cheeks and mix with the water from the showerhead. What had I been thinking? I knew I wanted to be someone else, just for a little while, but that didn’t give me the right to fool around with another man so soon after my husband had been murdered.
After drying off, I slipped on a nightgown and climbed between the sheets. I laid my wet head on the pillow and cried myself to sleep once again.
Saturday morning, Dani called to say she could come visit me that afternoon. I was so relieved. If ever I needed a friend, it was then. She pulled into Mom’s driveway around one o’clock.
“Where’s Ethan?” I asked when I opened the front door to find Dani standing there without a three-year-old attached to her legs.
“Oh,” she said with a wave of her hand. “PJ didn’t have to work today, so he’s watching the little munchkin for me.”
“Come on in,” I said. “Want some sweet tea?”
“You know it!” One of the things that had brought Dani and me together as friends was our mutual obsession with sweet tea.
I poured us both a tall glass. Then Mom entered through the back door.
“Dani!” she exclaimed. “So great to see you!”
Dani allowed Mom to envelop her in a warm embrace. “You too, Kaye.”
“What brings you all the way down from Cincinnati?” Mom asked when they finally parted.
“I’m just here to see Libby. And you, of course,” she said with a genuine smile. “Plus, I needed an excuse to leave Ethan with his father for a day.”
“Three is a tough age,” Mom said, nodding her head.
“Tell me about it,” Dani agreed.
Of course, I was left out of the conversation, having never had kids. It was just another grim reminder of the fact I would never be a mother. I had to change the subject.
“Want to go grab a quick lunch?” I asked Dani.
“Sure. Kaye, do you want to join us?”
“Oh, no. You girls go enjoy yourselves. I’ve got work to do on my iPad. Maybe next time.”
I was relieved. I really needed some alone time with my best friend, so I could speak freely. I couldn’t have done that with Mom hanging around, offering her unsolicited advice.
We settled on Saul Good, a local restaurant chain that served the best Southern cuisine. I rode shotgun in Dani’s Chevrolet Equinox. On the short drive to Lexington, we made small talk about the weather, Dani’s husband and son, and the most recent books we’d read. But once we settled into our booth, Dani leaned across the table.
“All right, enough bullshit. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Oh, Dani, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. So much has happened.”
A waitress appeared and took our orders. When she was finally out of earshot, Dani told me to start at the beginning.
I told her everything about that horrible morning, my subsequent arrest and time in jail, Ryan’s affair, and my run-in with his mistress. I left out the part about me almost hooking up with a total stranger I met in a bar. If anyone would be able to sympathize with me, it would be my best friend, but I felt too guilty to share that little detail, even with Dani.
She listened with rapt attention until I ended with the story of how I was followed from the pool the day before.
“Someone is following you?”
“I’m pretty sure of it now. What do you think I should do?”
“Call the police,” Dani said.
“I can’t call the police. They think I murdered my husband. They’re not going to help me with anything.”
“That may be true, but you’ve got to be careful, Libby. You can’t take any chances. This is your life we’re talking about here.”
I nodded. “I know. I know. I’ll think about it.”
The waitress appeared with our meals. Dani had gone with the rosemary chicken pizza and I had chosen the Cajun chicken pasta.
“So have you thought anymore about who may have killed Ryan? Last time we talked, you had no idea. I mean, you didn’t do it. Did you?”
“Very funny,” I said, throwing a mushroom from my pasta at her. “I don’t know. I’ve given it some thought. Maybe Lindsey killed him because he wouldn’t leave me. Or maybe she hired someone to kill him. She’s a slut, but I can’t really see her shooting Ryan herself with a large caliber gun. I don’t know, Dani. I just can’t figure it out.”
“You will. Or the police will. Or maybe it will be one of those cold cases you hear about on Discovery ID. Maybe they’ll do an episode about it.”
“That would be my luck. It’s bad enough the local media has all but accused me of his murder. The last thing I need is some national broadcast about it. I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere. Everyone in America would think I’m a murderer.”
“No one thinks that but the police,” Dani said. “And they always suspect the wife. How unoriginal. God forbid they conduct an actual investigation.”
“I know, right? They haven’t even looked at anyone else as far as I know. They’re convinced I did it. But number one, I know now that I couldn’t have done it. Number two, there is absolutely no evidence against me. No fingerprints, no DNA, no gunshot residue. It’s fucking ridiculous. And now I’m facing a public trial for allegedly killing my husband. They’re going to use his affair as evidence of my motive. They’re going to say I found out about Lindsey and killed him in a fit of rage—which is absurd. I never even knew about her until a week after he died. And what about the gun? There was no gun at the scene. What do they think I did? Dispose of it somehow before I called 911?”
“It is absurd. I really wish there was something I could do to help. Do you have a good attorney, at least?” Dani was a former paralegal, like me. We had met when working together at a small firm in Lexington many years ago. She had worked up until she gave birth to Ethan and then taken a long-term leave from working so she could raise Ethan, at least until he started kindergarten.
“Yes. I hired a former boss of mine. Dave Rogers. Ever heard of him?”
“No.”
“He’s out of Nicholasville, so you probably haven’t.”
“Does he have a lot of experience with murder cases?”
“No, not really. But I couldn’t afford a Lexington attorney. Plus, I trust Dave. He’s really good at what he does.”
“He’d better be, or else he’ll be hearing from me.”
This was one of the things I loved about Dani. She was fiercely defensive of her friends and family. I considered myself lucky to be her very best friend.
My phone chirped, which was the sound I had set for incoming texts. I looked down at the screen and saw the text was from a number I didn’t recognize.
Unknown: Hey, Veronica. It’s Paul. Had a great time last night. Can’t wait to see you again. Hit me up sometime.
I laid the phone back down on the table without responding. Surely he’d get the hint.
“Who was that?” Dani asked.
“Oh, some reporter that’s been bugging me for an interview.”
“Maybe you should do it,” she said, pointing her fork at me. “It might help.”
“No way,” I said, maybe a little too sharply. “I mean, look at all the murder suspects who have given interviews. It never does them any good. Remember Scott Peterson?”
“You’ve got a point.”
We finished our lunches with more lighthearted talk of her son’s latest three-year-old exploits and of her home remodeling projects. Dani was always working on some DIY project or another. I found as I listened to her that I was envious of her very normal life. Not just because she had Ethan and PJ, but because she seemed truly happy with her path in life. I, on the other hand, was doomed to a life without love, children or, quite possibly, my freedom.
Dani insisted on picking up the check and I didn’t object as strenuously as I normally would, considering my dwindling bank account.
We spent the rest of the afternoon browsing the racks at Clothes Mentor, our favorite consignment shop. We took turns trying on outfits and showing them off for one another’s opinion. At one point, Dani came out in a long, flowing, turquoise dress with a peacock printed on the front and I found myself envying her once again. Dani was thin as a rail and a good two sizes smaller than me. Her reddish brown hair always looked freshly washed and silky. I didn’t know how she managed it.
Despite my insecurities, I agreed to try on a purple dress Dani picked out for me, knowing purple was my favorite color. It was a size ten, which was two full sizes larger than I was used to wearing before I gained weight. I slipped it on over my head anyway and turned to look in the full-length mirror. I was pleasantly surprised at how decent it looked on me. It had cap sleeves and was form-fitting to the hips, at which point it became loose and flowy.
“Let me see,” Dani said through the dressing room door.
“All right,” I said as I turned the knob and slowly stepped out of the tiny room.
“Nice,” Dani said. “It fits you perfectly. You have to get it.”
“Yeah, it is pretty. But I don’t really need a dress right now.”
Dani tilted her head to the side and gave me a knowing glance. “You need nice clothes for your trial, Libby.”
“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t think about that.”
“You can’t wear jeans or yoga pants to court. You have to look pretty and demure…and innocent.”
“You’re right. I’ll buy it. Especially since it’s so cheap. I should look for more clothes to wear at trial.”
“Good idea,” Dani said with a nod. “I’ll help.”
I ducked back into the fitting room, removed the purple dress, and hung it back on the hanger. When I came out, Dani was standing there with a handful of pretty clothes on hangers. She showed me each piece she had picked out, and I loved every one of them. Dani knew my tastes better than anyone. In the end, I wound up purchasing the purple dress, two pair of black slacks, some dressy tops, and one navy blue suit.
When we walked out of the store, Dani looked at her phone. “Oh, man. It’s already four-thirty. I’d better get you back to the house. I’ve got a two-and-a-half-hour drive ahead of me.”
“I know,” I said, pushing out my bottom lip. “I wish you could stay longer, though.”
Dani wrapped her thin arm around my shoulders as we approached her car. “I wish I could too. Even though we’re miles apart, know that I’m always here for you, Libby. I’ll be there for you in spirit when I can’t be there physically. You are not alone.”
I hugged her tightly and told her how much I loved her.
“Love you too, girl,” she said as she pulled back from our embrace. “Stay strong, okay? Call me if you need me and I’ll drop everything.”
“I know you will,” I said as I slid into the passenger seat.
“Seriously, if you need me for any reason, just call. Like, if you need me to go off on that fat detective…what’s his name?”
“Detective Jim Dorne.”
“That’s right. If you need me to tell him what’s what, I’d be more than happy to do it.”
I didn’t doubt Dani’s willingness to stand up to anyone, including the domineering detective. I’d seen how she handled herself when someone cut her off in the drive-thru line at McDonalds and many other occasions. She had the tenacity of a pit bull but the heart of a beagle—loyal and friendly. I was glad to be part of Dani’s inner circle. I felt bad for anyone outside of it.
“Oh my God,” Dani said out of the blue as we were driving along the interstate toward Mom’s house. “I totally forgot to tell you…”
“What?”
“Ethan peed in the potty yesterday!”
I knew Dani had been struggling with toilet training Ethan for months. Although I couldn’t identify with this particular milestone, I knew how much it meant to Dani. I truly was happy for her. But once again, I felt that twinge of regret deep in my stomach, knowing I would probably never experience the joy Dani was experiencing now. I’d never be pregnant, never give birth, never have any of those awesome firsts that mommies excitedly share with their friends. I felt empty. But I had to put my desperate feelings aside for my best friend and share in her enthusiasm, so I clapped my hands and squealed with delight, despite the empty hole in my heart.
We arrived at Mom’s house a little after five. Mom was sitting on one of the porch swings which hung from the rafters of the front porch. When she saw us pull into the driveway, she stood up and walked toward Dani’s car.
“You girls have a nice time?”
“Always,” Dani said. “You should have come with us.”
“Nah,” Mom said with a wave of her hand. “I wanted you girls to have some time to catch up. Libby really could use a friend right now. She’s going through a lot. I’m so glad you’re here for her.”
“I’m right here, Mom,” I said, a little embarrassed at how helpless she was making me seem.
“Oh, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, honey. I’m just telling Dani how happy I am to know you have at least one good friend. It’s just awful how everyone else turned their backs on you. Shame on them.”
“Who turned their backs on you, Libby?” Dani asked.
“Just my friends at work, really. And most of Ryan’s friends. I’m a pariah now. No one wants to be associated with the woman who shot her husband in cold blood.”
“Don’t talk like that,” Mom admonished. “Those people never were your true friends. Not if they could turn on you like that. They don’t really know you. Not like Dani and I do. We’re always going to be here for you…right, Dani?”