Lilith's Brood: Dawn, Adulthood Rites, and Imago (Xenogenesis Trilogy) (6 page)

It is part of our reproduction, but it’s much more deliberate than what any mated pair of humans have managed so far.

“We’re not hierarchical, you see. We never were. But we are powerfully acquisitive. We acquire new life—seek it, investigate it, manipulate it, sort it, use it. We carry the drive to do this in a minuscule cell within a cell—a tiny organelle within every cell of our bodies. Do you understand me?”

“I understand your words. Your meaning, though … it’s as alien to me as you are.”

“That’s the way we perceived your hierarchical drives at first.” He paused. “One of the meanings of Oankali is gene trader. Another is that organelle—the essence of ourselves, the origin of ourselves. Because of that organelle, the ooloi can perceive DNA and manipulate it precisely.”

“And they do this … inside their bodies?”

“Yes.”

“And now they’re doing something with cancer cells inside their bodies?”

“Experimenting, yes.”

“That sounds … a long way from safe.”

“They’re like children now, talking and talking about possibilities.”

“What possibilities?”

“Regeneration of lost limbs. Controlled malleability. Future Oankali may be much less frightening to potential trade partners if they’re able to reshape themselves and look more like the partners before the trade. Even increased longevity, though compared to what you’re used to, we’re very long-lived now.”

“All that from cancer.”

“Perhaps. We listen to the ooloi when they stop talking so much. That’s when we find out what our next generations will be like.”

“You leave all that to them? They decide?”

“They show us the tested possibilities. We all decide.”

He tried to lead her into his family’s woods, but she held back. “There’s something I need to understand now,” she said. “You call it a trade. You’ve taken something you value from us and you’re giving us back our world. Is that it? Do you have all you want from us?”

“You know it isn’t,” he said softly. “You’ve guessed that much.”

She waited, staring at him.

“Your people will change. Your young will be more like us and ours more like you. Your hierarchical tendencies will be modified and if we learn to regenerate limbs and reshape our bodies, we’ll share those abilities with you. That’s part of the trade. We’re overdue for it.”

“It is crossbreeding, then, no matter what you call it.”

“It’s what I said it was. A trade. The ooloi will make changes in your reproductive cells before conception and they’ll control conception.”

“How?”

“The ooloi will explain that when the time comes.”

She spoke quickly, trying to blot out thoughts of more surgery or some sort of sex with the damned ooloi. “What will you make of us? What will our children be?”

“Different, as I said. Not quite like you. A little like us.”

She thought of her son—how like her he had been, how like his father. Then she thought of grotesque, Medusa children. “No!” she said. “No. I don’t care what you do with what you’ve already learned—how you apply it to yourselves—but leave us out of it. Just let us go. If we have the problem you think we do, let us work it out as human beings.”

“We are committed to the trade,” he said, softly implacable.

“No! You’ll finish what the war began. In a few generations—”

“One generation.”

“No!”

He wrapped the many fingers of one hand around her arm. “Can you hold your breath, Lilith? Can you hold it by an act of will until you die?”

“Hold my—?”

“We are as committed to the trade as your body is to breathing. We were overdue for it when we found you. Now it will be done—to the rebirth of your people and mine.”

“No!” she shouted. “A rebirth for us can only happen if you let us alone! Let us begin again on our own.”

Silence.

She pulled at her arm, and after a moment he let her go. She got the impression he was watching her very closely.

“I think I wish your people had left me on Earth,” she whispered. “If this is what they found me for, I wish they’d left me.” Medusa children. Snakes for hair. Nests of night crawlers for eyes and ears.

He sat down on the bare ground, and after a minute of surprise, she sat opposite him, not knowing why, simply following his movement.

“I can’t
un
find you,” he said. “You’re here. But there is … a thing I
can
do. It is … deeply wrong of me to offer it. I will never offer it again.”

“What?” she asked barely caring. She was tired from the walk, overwhelmed by what he had told her. It made no sense. Good god, no wonder he couldn’t go home—even if his home still existed. Whatever his people had been like when they left it, they must be very different by now—as the children of the last surviving human beings would be different.

“Lilith?” he said.

She raised her head, stared at him.

“Touch me here now,” he said, gesturing toward his head tentacles, “and I’ll sting you. You’ll die—very quickly and without pain.”

She swallowed.

“If you want it,” he said.

It was a gift he was offering. Not a threat.

“Why?” she whispered.

He would not answer.

She stared at his head tentacles. She raised her hand, let it reach toward him almost as though it had its own will, its own intent. No more Awakenings. No more questions. No more impossible answers. Nothing.

Nothing.

He never moved. Even his tentacles were utterly still. Her hand hovered, wanting to fall amid the tough, flexible, lethal organs. It hovered, almost brushing one by accident.

She jerked her hand away, clutched it to her. “Oh god,” she whispered. “Why didn’t I do it? Why can’t I do it?”

He stood up and waited uncomplaining for several minutes until she dragged herself to her feet.

“You’ll meet my mates and one of my children now,” he said. “Then rest and food, Lilith.”

She looked at him, longing for a human expression. “Would you have done it?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said.

“Why?”

“For you.”

S
LEEP
.

She barely remembered being presented to three of Jdahya’s relatives, then guided off and given a bed. Sleep. Then a small, confused awakening.

Now food and forgetting.

Food and pleasure so sharp and sweet it cleared everything else from her mind. There were whole bananas, dishes of sliced pineapple, whole figs, shelled nuts of several kinds, bread and honey, a vegetable stew filled with corn, peppers, tomatoes, potatoes, onions, mushrooms, herbs, and spices.

Where had all this been, Lilith wondered. Surely they could have given her a little of this instead of keeping her for so long on a diet that made eating a chore. Could it all have been for her health? Or had there been some other purpose—something to do with their damned gene trade?

When she had eaten some of everything, savored each new taste lovingly, she began to pay attention to the four Oankali who were with her in the small, bare room. They were Jdahya and his wife Tediin—Kaaljdahyatediin lel Kahguyaht aj Dinso. And there was Jdahya’s ooloi mate Kahguyaht—Ahtrekahguyahtkaal lel Jdayhatediin aj Dinso. Finally there was the family’s ooloi child Nikanj—Kaalnikanj oo Jdahyatediinkahguyaht aj Dinso.

The four sat atop familiar, featureless platforms eating Earth foods from their several small dishes as though they had been born to such a diet.

There was a central platform with more of everything on it, and the Oankali took turns filling one another’s dishes. One of them could not, it seemed, get up and fill only one dish. Others were immediately handed forward, even to Lilith. She filled Jdahya’s with hot stew and returned it to him, wondering when he had eaten last—apart from the orange they had shared.

“Did you eat while we were in that isolation room?” she asked him.

“I had eaten before I went in,” he said. “I used very little energy while I was there so I didn’t need any more food.”

“How long were you there?”

“Six days, your time.”

She sat down on her platform and stared at him. “That long?”

“Six days,” he repeated.

“Your body has drifted away from your world’s twenty-four-hour day,” the ooloi Kahguyaht said. “That happens to all your people. Your day lengthens slightly and you lose track of how much time has passed.”

“But—”

“How long did it seem to you?”

“A few days … I don’t know. Fewer than six.”

“You see?” the ooloi asked softly.

She frowned at it. It was naked as were the others except for Jdahya. This did not bother her even at close quarters as much as she had feared it might. But she did not like the ooloi. It was smug and it tended to treat her condescendingly. It was also one of the creatures scheduled to bring about the destruction of what was left of humanity. And in spite of Jdahya’s claim that the Oankali were not hierarchical, the ooloi seemed to be the head of the house. Everyone deferred to it.

It was almost exactly Lilith’s size—slightly larger than Jdahya and considerably smaller than the female Tediin. And it had four arms. Or two arms and two arm-sized tentacles. The big tentacles, gray and rough, reminded her of elephants’ trunks—except that she could not recall ever being disgusted by the trunk of an elephant. At least the child did not have them yet—though Jdahya had assured her that it was an ooloi child. Looking at Kahguyaht, she took pleasure in the knowledge that the Oankali themselves used the neuter pronoun in referring to the ooloi. Some things deserved to be called “it.”

She turned her attention back to the food. “How can you eat all this?” she asked. “I couldn’t eat your foods, could I?”

“What do you think you’ve eaten each time we’ve Awakened you?” the ooloi asked.

“I don’t know,” she said coldly. “No one would tell me what it was.”

Kahguyaht missed or ignored the anger in her voice. “It was one of our foods—slightly altered to meet your special needs,” it said.

Thought of her “special needs” made her realize that this might be Jdahya’s “relative” who had cured her cancer. She had somehow not thought of this until now. She got up and filled one of her small bowls with nuts—roasted, but not salted—and wondered wearily whether she had to be grateful to Kahguyaht. Automatically she filled with the same nuts, the bowl Tediin had thrust forward to her.

“Is any of our food poison to you?” she asked flatly.

“No,” Kahguyaht answered. “We have adjusted to the foods of your world.”

“Are any of yours poison to me?”

“Yes. A great many of them. You shouldn’t eat anything unfamiliar that you find here.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Why should you be able to come from so far away—another world, another star system—and eat our food?”

“Haven’t we had time to learn to eat your food?” the ooloi asked.

“What?”

It did not repeat the question.

“Look,” she said, “how can you learn to eat something that’s poison to you?”

“By studying teachers to whom it isn’t poison. By studying your people, Lilith. Your bodies.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Then accept the evidence of your eyes. We can eat anything you can. It’s enough for you to understand that.”

Patronizing bastard, she thought. But she said only, “Does that mean that you can learn to eat anything at all? That you can’t be poisoned?”

“No. I didn’t mean that.”

She waited, chewing nuts, thinking. When the ooloi did not continue, she looked at it.

It was focused on her, head tentacles pointing. “The very old can be poisoned,” it said. “Their reactions are slowed. They might not be able to recognize an unexpected deadly substance and remember how to neutralize it in time. The seriously injured can be poisoned. Their bodies are distracted, busy with self-repair. And the children can be poisoned if they have not yet learned to protect themselves.”

“You mean … just about anything might poison you if you weren’t somehow prepared for it, ready to protect yourselves against it?”

“Not just anything. Very few things, really. Things we were especially vulnerable to before we left our original homeworld.”

“Like what?”

“Why do you ask, Lilith? What would you do if I told you? Poison a child?”

She chewed and swallowed several peanuts, all the while staring at the ooloi, making no effort to conceal her dislike. “You invited me to ask,” she said.

“No. That isn’t what I was doing.”

“Do you really imagine I’d hurt a child?”

“No. You just haven’t learned yet not to ask dangerous questions.”

“Why did you tell me as much as you did?”

The ooloi relaxed its tentacles. “Because we know you, Lilith. And, within reason, we want you to know us.”

T
HE OOLOI TOOK HER
to see Sharad. She would have preferred to have Jdahya take her, but when Kahguyaht volunteered, Jdahya leaned toward her and asked very softly, “Shall I go?”

She did not imagine that she was intended to miss the unspoken message of the gesture—that Jdahya was indulging a child. Lilith was tempted to accept the child’s role and ask him to come along. But he deserved a vacation from her—and she from him. Maybe he wanted to spend some time with the big, silent Tediin. How, she wondered, did these people manage their sex lives, anyway? How did the ooloi fit in? Were its two arm-sized tentacles sexual organs? Kahguyaht had not used them in eating—had kept them either coiled against its body, under its true arms or draped over its shoulders.

She was not afraid of it, ugly as it was. So far it had inspired only disgust, anger, and dislike in her. How had Jdahya connected himself with such a creature?

Kahguyaht led her through three walls, opening all of them by touching them with one of its large tentacles. Finally they emerged into a wide, downward-sloping, well-lighted corridor. Large numbers of Oankali walked or rode flat, slow, wheel-less conveyances that apparently floated a fraction of an inch above the floor. There were no collisions, no near-misses, yet Lilith saw no order to the traffic. People walked or drove wherever they could find an opening and apparently depended on others not to hit them. Some of the vehicles were loaded with unrecognizable freight—transparent beachball-sized blue spheres filled with some liquid, two-foot-long centipede-like animals stacked in rectangular cages, great trays of oblong, green shapes about six feet long and three feet thick. These last writhed slowly, blindly.