Lily Alone (11 page)

Most of the people in the garden smiled, but one old man with binoculars made shushing noises at us.

‘You'll frighten all the birds away,' he said.

The birds didn't seem the slightest bit frightened, screeching above our heads.

‘I love love love this garden,' I said, and the others agreed.

‘Can we come here again tomorrow?' said Bliss.

‘Yes, of course we can.'

‘And the next day and the next?'

‘You bet. And we'll carry on coming here when Mum comes home.'

‘Will Mum love it too?' said Bliss.

‘Well . . .'

‘Never mind, you can be our mum in the park,' she said.

It was a mistake talking about Mum though. We all started missing her a lot. Pixie started grizzling, Baxter started showing off and swearing, and Bliss started biting her nails.

‘Come on, we're all tired. Let's go home now,' I said. ‘It's OK, I promise we'll come back tomorrow.'

We found our way to the garden gate easily enough, but we got lost going through the proper park. We were wandering for ages through the trees, up and down hills, never finding the right path. I tried to turn it into a game but I was tired too, and soon I started snapping at all three of them. I couldn't carry Pixie any more and dragged her along. I prodded Bliss and swatted Baxter.

We had to ask a middle-aged couple in matching green-and-purple sweatshirts how to get out. They pointed us in the right way, but looked at us uneasily.

‘Aren't you a bit young to be playing in the park by yourselves?' the woman asked.

‘We're not. We wandered off and lost our mum,' I said.

‘What? For goodness' sake, she'll be frantic!'

‘No, no – I phoned her on my mobile,' I said, patting my empty jeans pocket. ‘She just said to come straight to the park gates and she'll meet us there.'

‘Well, we'd better come with you, to make sure you get there,' said the woman.

‘No, please don't. Mum will get even crosser then. It's all my fault, I was meant to be looking after them,' I said, and I screwed my face up as if I was trying not to cry.

I thought she'd feel sorry for me and let me go, but she looked more worried than ever.

‘No, we absolutely insist. You might get lost again. It's a good fifteen-minute walk, maybe longer. Come along, it's this way,' she said, while we stared at her, horrified.

Pixie started crying for real and the woman looked concerned.

‘Oh dear, is she hungry?' she asked.

‘Yes, yes!' Pixie wailed, as if she hadn't eaten for days.

‘Poor little pet. What do you want, darling?'

‘Ice cream!' said Pixie.

Oh, I saw what she was up to. She'd heard the word
gate
and remembered the whippy van.

‘We haven't got any ice cream, dear, but we've maybe got a nice peppermint,' said the woman. ‘Arnie, you've got the Polos in your pocket, haven't you?'

Arnie didn't look as if he wanted to share his Polo mints but he got them out and offered the packet nervously in the direction of Pixie, as if she was a snappy dog and might bite. She grabbed at the packet and then turned up her nose at the smell.

‘It's toothpaste!' she said, looking accusingly at Arnie as if he'd played a dirty trick on her.

‘
I
like Polos,' said Baxter.

Arnie handed them round to all of us.

‘Say thank you,' I hissed.

But Baxter wouldn't and Bliss was too shy and Pixie too intent on whining for ice cream. I could have shaken all of them. I didn't know what to do. Arnie's wife was trying to make conversation all along the way: what were our names, where exactly did we live, which school did we go to? I started telling her a whole load of lies to stop her tracking us down.

‘I'm Rose, and this is my brother Mikey and my sister Bluebell and my littlest sister Bunny,' I said, picking names I knew the kids would like so they'd go along with this charade. I said we lived on a different estate the other end of town, and I had us all going to a different school too. Then she twittered on and on about it, asking us what we liked best at school.

‘I like art,' I said truthfully.

‘I do too,' said Bluebell, in a tiny whispery voice.

‘Is art painting? We do finger painting at nursery and I love getting in a mess,' said Bunny.

‘I like fighting,' said Mikey, punching the air.

It turned out Arnie and his wife, Elizabeth, had been schoolteachers once upon a time, but they'd both retired now.

‘Though we're so busy I don't know how we ever had time to work,' said Elizabeth.

Yes, they were busy busy busy poking their sharp teachers' noses into our affairs. I didn't have a clue how we were going to get rid of them. I kept wondering if I should simply yell,
Run!
and grab Bunny and yank Mikey and Bluebell into action – but I still wasn't very sure how far the gate was. Although old Arnie walked in a tottery kind of way, his wife bounced along in her trainers. Perhaps she'd been a PE teacher – I could imagine a whistle bouncing on her big chest. I didn't want her blowing the whistle on us.

I tried to think of some way we could successfully escape, nibbling at the skin on my lip as we walked.

‘You're looking really worried, Rose,' said Elizabeth. ‘Do you think your mother will get
very
cross?'

I didn't know what to say for the best.

‘Yes, she'll get really mad and start whacking us ever so hard,' said Mikey, thinking he was helping me out.

Elizabeth looked shocked.

‘Your mother
hits
you?' she asked.

‘No, of course she doesn't,' I said quickly.

‘Yes, she does, she goes
whack whack whack
,' said Mikey, gesturing. ‘But it's OK because I go
kerpow kerpow kerpow
and I always beat her and get to be the winner because I'm the best at fighting.'

‘I think you're the best at story-telling,' said Elizabeth, relaxing.

We got to the top of the hill – and then started on the downward slope, me holding Bunny by her wrist to stop her tumbling. I saw the car park and the gate. Bunny started clamouring, ‘Ice cream!' until I thought my head would burst.

‘Nearly there,' said Elizabeth. ‘Can you see any sign of your mum?'

But then – oh glory! – some couple got out of their car, with a daft spaniel leaping up and down. They started calling and waving. ‘Elizabeth! Arnie! Oh my goodness, fancy seeing you here!'

‘Good Lord! Are these your grandchildren?'

‘There's Mum!' I shouted, while they were distracted. ‘Thank-you-very-much-goodbye!'

Then we ran for it. I started waving wildly at a woman by the gate, a fat, silly-looking woman
nothing
like our mum – and she waved back, startled, obviously feeling she knew us. Bliss and Baxter ran beside me, and I managed to clutch Pixie. We could hear Elizabeth and Arnie calling as the dog barked but we just ran faster. When we got to the gate I threw my arms round this complete stranger, practically knocking her over.

‘Hello? What's all this about?' she said, laughing nervously.

‘Oh! I thought – I thought you were someone I know,' I said. ‘I'm sorry. I've go to go now. Come on, kids.'

We ran again, dodging up the first side street so we'd not be visible from the gate. When we were round a corner I let us slow down. We leaned against a garden wall, all of us utterly out of breath.

‘Phew!' said Pixie.

It was such a strangely old-fashioned thing for her to say that we all burst out laughing.

‘Phew, phew, phew!' Pixie repeated delightedly.

We trudged on up the road, all of us phewing like anything.

‘My feet hurt, right on their underneaths,' said Baxter, limping a little.

‘My everything hurts,' Bliss mumbled.

‘Never mind, we'll be home soon, and we'll all have a nice hot bath and a special treat for supper,' I promised. ‘You'll get your ice cream, Pixie. I know Mum put some in the freezer.'

‘I want whippy,' she moaned.

‘Yes, well, I'll squish it around and make it whippy. And we'll put cream on the top.'

‘Can I have cream too?' asked Bliss.

‘We'll all have cream.'

‘Am I still Bluebell?'

‘If you want to be.'

‘No, I think I want to be me now.'

‘Then that's who you are, who we all are, Lily and Baxter and Bliss and Pixie, and we're nearly home.'

We got back to our estate safely without going all round the moon. I started worrying now about the unlocked door. Maybe we'd get back and find the whole flat ransacked, mess everywhere. I'd seen what some of the boys could do if they wanted to teach you a lesson. My chest felt tight and I could scarcely breathe as we crept along the balcony, trying to avoid alerting Old Kath. But when I peeped round the door everything was just as usual, certainly not neat and tidy, but it was only our own mess. There was a little beeping noise in the hallway. It was a message flashing on the telephone.

I pressed the button on the phone and Mum's voice spoke into the hall.

‘Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum!' We all called her name. Baxter jumped up and down. Bliss doubled over, clasping her tummy. Pixie wriggled, clutching herself. We were all making so much noise that we couldn't properly hear what she was saying.

‘Shh! Shh, you lot,' I said. ‘Oh, if only we'd been
home
.'

‘Mum, I want to talk to Mum!' said Pixie, trying to clutch the phone.

‘No, darling, it's just a message from Mum.
Listen!
maybe she's telling us when she's coming home. Come on, shut up, all of you, it's important!' I said.

Mum said goodbye. Baxter and Bliss whispered goodbye back and Pixie started crying. I pressed the button again as soon as the tape had rewound.

‘
Hi, you kids. Where are you then? I figured you'd be back from school by now. I bet Mikey's taken you down McDonald's. Anyway, listen, my blooming mobile doesn't work here, don't ask me why, but I've sneaked off and I'm using a pay phone though its
eating
all my change. I'm just checking up and making sure you're OK. You're looking after them all right, Mikey, right? Lily, you give Pixie a cuddle from me, eh, and see she gets to bed on time – you know how ratty she is if she doesn't get enough sleep. Baxter, you be a good boy now for your dad, and Bliss, you speak up for yourself. Lily, you should see it here, you'd love it. My God, the colour of the sky, it's bright bright blue just the way you crayonned it when you were little. I'll take you here one day when I'm in the money, I'll take you all – that's a promise. Well, gotta go now, nearly out of money. I'm having a great time. Gordon's a sweetheart. You should see the way everyone looks up to him. How'd you like him for a new daddy, eh? Ha, ha, only joking. I'll be back soon. Maybe the weekend, whenever, but I know you're in good hands with Mikey, eh? Bye then, darlings. Bye bye!
'

Baxter and Bliss said goodbye all over again. Pixie shivered, her knees together.

‘Ugh, look, she's wetting the carpet!' said Baxter, pointing.

‘Oh, Pixie,' I said, picking her up and whipping her to the toilet.

‘I want Mum,' she wept.

‘Yes, darling, we all want Mum, but she's coming home soon,' I said, yanking her soggy knickers down and sitting her on the toilet.

But she still hadn't said
exactly
when she was coming home.
Maybe the weekend, whatever
. Did that mean she hadn't even booked her flight yet? I stood hanging onto the cold edge of the wash-basin, loving Mum and hating Mum all at the same time. I thought of her lying on a beach towel with ‘new daddy' Gordon underneath this bright blue sky – and I wanted to kick sand in her face. How could she leave us like this? But then she thought we were with Mikey.
In good hands
. I thought of Mikey's huge fists with their self-inked tattoos and their big sovereign rings and I shuddered. At least we didn't have to put up with
him
all week.

‘I want Mum!' Pixie wailed on the toilet.

‘Look, I'll be your mum just for this week,' I said.

‘You're Lily,' said Pixie.

‘Yeah, I know, but I'll be your Lilymum, OK?'

‘Lilymum,' Pixie repeated. Luckily she quite liked the sound of it. ‘Lilymum, Lilymum, Lilymum!' She laughed as I gave her a quick wash and found her dry knickers.

‘That's right, Lilymum's going to get you a lovely tea now,' I said. ‘Do you want to come and help me do the cooking, eh, Pixie?'