Lily of the Valley in May (9 page)

She looked at him for a long moment then moved back to his side. She sat down and put her book away.

Joel smiled at the child standing the other side of the table.
Here we go
. “Hello, what's your name?”

7

Book tours, were not as easy as Faith thought they would be. Never sleeping in the same bed for more than two nights running, meant she got very little sleep. Joel was famous enough that they didn't sit idle in the book stores for long. Some days the queue reached out of the door, and they didn't have time to breathe. Other days they had time to sip the glasses of water that sat on the table and actually talk a little between fans. Their friendship had blossomed and, sitting next to him each day, Faith found herself wishing it would turn into something more.

They found a church to go to on Sunday and spent an hour together each morning, reading the Bible and praying. Some days, it'd be before breakfast, other days they'd find a park or cliff top and sit there. She enjoyed each moment spent with Joel more and more as time passed. She liked him a lot, an awful lot. There was something about him that set her heart soaring and her pulse racing. Even her fear of men diminished around him.

Today however, was Hope's birthday and not even the thought of spending the day with Joel could lift her spirits. She looked out of the hotel room window and sighed. Hotel number eight.
Tenth day, same as the first, a little bit longer and a little bit worse.
She broke off.

Hope loved that rhyme, and would use it to describe every situation she didn't like.

Yet another hotel wasn't the problem. Nor was there being no word from the police that Damien was safely back behind bars where he belonged. They were in the Fens, a stone's throw from her old stomping grounds. She could see Ely cathedral on the horizon. It hurt being so close and yet unable to go home.
So near and yet so far.

A knock at the bedroom door made her turn. “It's open.”

Joel peered around from the sitting room. “Are you ready?”

“I didn't think we had to be there until two.”

“We don't. Figured we'd go find a park, feed the ducks for Hope's birthday.”

She got up, smoothing down her shirt. “Thank you.” She slid her jacket on and picked up her bag. “I'm ready.”

“Really? I thought most women took hours to get ready?”

“I'm not most women.”

Joel's smile lit his eyes as it did so often lately. “I noticed. Come on, day's a wasting.”

Faith followed him to the car, butterflies soaring in her stomach and warming her heart. She studied his figure as he unlocked the car. Was she a fool for trusting him so implicitly? Was he stringing her along? Waiting until they were alone before making her pay for something she had or hadn't done.

Twenty minutes later, she looked at him as they passed the Ely town boundary. “What are we doing here? I thought we were going to find a park.”

“We are. I thought perhaps you'd like to go to the park you used to go to with Hope. You just need to tell me where to go.”

“Joel, I can't be here.” Worry filled her, knotting her stomach. “What if Damien sees us? What if…”

Joel's hand rested lightly on her knee for a moment. “We'll be here and gone in an hour. It'll be fine.” His tone was just as gentle.

DC Blondell put a hand on her shoulder. “I'm right here. It'll be OK.”

Joel looked at her. “I know what it's like to lose someone. Even though she's missing not dead, the feelings are probably the same. Elliott is doing the same thing with Grace today. Though not here, obviously.”

“Oh, thank you.” Intense gratitude filled her. How could she make it up to him? If he hadn't been driving she'd have hugged him.

Joel parked the car and Faith led him around the park to the pond. DC Blondell kept right beside them. Her steps slowed as she saw two figures standing by the pond. It couldn't be, could it?

She glanced at Joel and he grinned. “I called ahead. Go on. I'll come over in a minute or two.”

Faith ran towards them. Her parents turned as she reached them, hugging her tightly. Now she definitely owed him. Big time.

~*~

Sitting in church in Kendal three days later, Joel was almost uncomfortably aware of Faith's presence beside him and the effect she was having on him. It had been years since he'd felt this way, since he'd allowed himself to feel this way. Part of him told him it was time to put the past behind and trust again—just like he'd told El back in January. To allow himself love again.

If he were honest, that's what was starting to happen. All he wanted was to make her happy and be with her and his heart did beat faster when he saw her. In one way he didn't want the book tour to end as it would mean no longer seeing her every second of every day. Not that he couldn't come up with an excuse to pop next door, but it wouldn't be the same as this.

But the bigger part of him, the part that was in control, was afraid of that. He was scared to death of being betrayed, of allowing himself to be hurt, and not sure he'd survive it this time.

Because, if he were honest, he knew deep down that he did have feelings for this woman. But she was running for her life—with someone who wanted her dead running after her, determined to pursue her to the ends of the Earth. Was he mad?

Maybe he was.

But the fact remained, Faith had come into his life and done something he hadn't anticipated—and it wasn't just breaking his taillight either. She'd started to heal his broken heart and helped him start living again. He shifted, the words of the sermon floating over him.

Lord, is this feeling from You? It makes such a difference being with someone who loves You, too. Someone who will come to church with me twice on a Sunday and again mid-week because they want to, not because I insist on it. Someone I can read the Bible and pray with, like Faith and I have been doing each day. But until her ex is out of the picture, until I know she won't betray me… I can't allow myself to trust…

After the service, he looked at her. The sun shone through the stained glass windows giving her blonde hair a red tint. He reached out and pushed a stray strand back. “So, I was thinking. How about we go sightseeing for a little before we go and check into yet another hotel?”

“That sounds good. Anywhere in particular in mind?”

He pulled her upright. “Oh yeah, somewhere I used to go a lot.”

“Really? I didn't think your family lived around here.”

He took her hand as they walked out of the church. Such a simple gesture—one that assured her he was there, one that would annoy the cop walking behind them, and one that didn't mean what his pounding heart tried to tell him it did. “They don't. We came here a lot when we were kids to visit my aunt. She's long dead now, but I have fond memories of this place. So when I need a place to write or work through writers block, I come here.”

“Then I'd love to see it.”

“Great. It's not far, about a twenty minute drive. We can get something to eat there.”

They drove into the country for just under the twenty minutes he'd promised. Joel parked the car as close to the entrance to the visitor's center as he could and got out. He went around the other side of the car and opened it for Faith.

“Thank you, Joel. You really are the perfect gentleman.”

“It won't last,” he said dryly. “Caroline said there was nothing perfect about me.”

Faith shook her head. “She was wrong. It's true no one can be perfect all the time, because that would be totally boring, but there is nothing wrong with you.”

“I guess it would be boring.” He slid his hand into hers, his heart in his mouth as his fingers brushed against her side.
Oh grow up
.
You are not a teenager on his first date. You're a grown man who should know better and holding hands is nothing new
. Truth was he didn't want to take the way he felt for granted. He was going to savor every moment he had with her.

Joel led them into the visitor's center and paid the entrance fee for them. They walked past the shops and café into the country park beyond. They walked across to the observation deck and climbed the steps onto it. If he tried hard, he could even forget DC Blondell standing with them. To give him his due, he did give them a certain amount of privacy, just not as much as Joel would have liked.

Because, try as he might to blend into the background the cop was a permanent reminder of the danger that plagued them and hung over Faith like a thick black storm cloud.

The sun shone brightly in the spring sky. Sunlight sparkled off the deep blue water of the river in the distance which rippled and shifted. The hills on the horizon had their crowns of white where the snow had yet to melt on high ground, tapering into the green and purple of the heather. Birds circled overhead, cows grazed over one field, sheep on another.

“Oh wow!” she gasped.

Joel smiled. “You like it?”

“It's incredible. How often did you come here?”

“I spent two months here writing my first novel and then also the rewrites and edits. I dread to think how much I spent on entrance fees in the end.”

“You should have bought an annual pass. You'd have saved a fortune.”

Faith leaned on the edge of the decking. Her childlike enthusiasm amazed him. She took in every little detail, pointing out things, seeing the same beauty in it as he did. “I can see why you liked to sit up here and write, Joel. It is so beautiful.” Her eyes shone as she looked out at the view.

Joel grinned. “I love it. Just looking out at that view makes me want to write.” He pointed to a cottage up on the hill side. “See that cottage?”

Faith gasped. “It's the baker's emporium. It's exactly as I imagined it would be.”

Joel chuckled. “Yup. I took it from that hillside and threw it directly into my novel.”

“Did it mind?”

He shoved his free hand into his pocket. “Well, I didn't ask it first, but I don't think it minded. I've always wanted to include the park in one of my books, just wasn't sure how to go about doing it.”

“Change the name.”

“Well, yeah, that goes without saying, but the right story line just never came up. This place is far too pretty to have a dark past.”

“Oh, I don't know. Just imagine, a dark winter's night, with a creepy villain, long black greasy hair, smells of curry—”

“The villain or his hair?” Joel laughed at the way her thoughts jumped.

Faith poked her tongue out at him. “His hair, of course.”

“Hmmm, now that begs the question, why did he wash his hair in curry or eat the curry with his hair? In which case, why didn't he just go wash it after cooking the curry? Or was it the shampoo? In which case the person who invented curry scented shampoo deserves the nasty death heading his way.”

Faith laughed. “And you said you couldn't work a plot into it.
The mystery of the man with curry scented hair by Paul Darrow
…starring the dashing Dirk Shepherd and introducing his new sidekick P.T. Useless. Maybe I should dare you to write it.”

“Uh huh, maybe I just buy you lunch instead. There's a great restaurant just next to the river.”

“Now that sounds good.”

Joel walked silently until they came to the café. At first he had wondered if it was just physical attraction, but now, was it something more? He had never felt for his wife the way he felt about Faith. He pulled his thoughts up short.

Faith was no Caroline, and it wasn't fair to compare one to the other. They were vastly different— worlds apart.

The only thing they shared was his love, but even that was different for each of them. Joel knew that deep down he'd always love his first wife, no matter how much that love had twisted because of her actions.

But could he live through another betrayal?

He glanced at Faith and as she lifted her head, the look in her eyes speared his heart. Joel led her to a table and pulled the chair out for her. “Do you trust me?”

She looked at him. “Silly question. Of course I do. Why?”

“The choice of meal is mine, but do you want juice, tea, coffee or hot chocolate?”

Faith sat down and smiled. “Ooh, spoiled for choice. Ummm, hot chocolate please. And anything is fine, just no peas.”

“Be right back.”

“OK. I'll be right here.”

Joel made his way over to the counter. He stood there before deciding on chicken and chips, with hot chocolate topped with cream, marshmallows, chocolate sprinkles, and a flake. That, as far as he was concerned, was the only way to drink it. He paid and took their meal back to the table. As he sat down, DC Blondell got up from where he sat to get his.

Faith looked at the tray as he put it down. “Wow, look at that.”

Joel looked at her. “What?” He sat down and passed hers across to her.

“I haven't had hot chocolate like this in years.”

“It's not real hot chocolate otherwise. Dad used to add candy canes to it at Christmas and call it melted snowman.”

“Now that sounds familiar. Mum used to call it snowman soup.”

Joel reached over, taking both Faith's hands in his. “Let's say grace.”

After the meal, he led her back outside and around to his favorite place. He sat on the bench with her, watching the river rippling in the sunlight. Today had been perfect, and he knew he wanted more days the same.

He also knew love came at a cost. But even Jesus knew that, he realized with a shock. Joel'd been betrayed by his wife, but Jesus had also been betrayed by someone close to him.

Joel had to take a leap of faith. He had to know if he had any chance with Faith. If he didn't, then they could remain friends, perhaps.

“Faith?”

She looked at him. Fair hair surrounded her face, brown eyes reflecting the sunlight back at him. “Joel.”