Linda Ford (2 page)

Rebecca Gwendolyn Sterling, have you taken leave of your senses? Staring shamelessly at a man? What would your father say?
She scolded herself in her mother’s voice and words. Her mother had died seven years ago, yet Rebecca still heard her and listened to her. But that was not to say that she always followed what she knew would be her mother’s advice. If she heeded her mother, she would demurely approach the man and speak quietly and gently. Perhaps ask if he needed assistance. Instead, she lifted the hem of her navy blue skirt and stepped quickly and confidently across the rutted ground. She circled the corner and approached the man. Heidi followed on her heels, trying to be invisible behind Rebecca’s skirts.

“Am I ever glad to see you,” the rancher said at their approach.

She jerked to a halt. Confusion clouded her thoughts. What on earth did he mean? And what did he have in his arms? Something alive, if the movement inside the quilt indicated anything. The cry she’d noted before came from that bundle. The squalling intensified.

“What
is
that?”

His crooked grin seemed both amused and desperate, which didn’t make any sense. She couldn’t imagine this big, bold man uncertain or desperate about anything.

“It’s a baby.” His voice carried a definite note of tension. “A crying baby. I tried to give it a bottle but nearly choked it to death.”

“I see.” She didn’t. Why did he have a baby?

“Perhaps you can help.”

“Me?” Her voice squeaked and she swallowed hard, forced calmness to her words. “What would you like me to do?”

“I don’t know. Something. Anything.”

She closed the remaining distance and looked at the small, scrunched-up face. Two little fists quivered beside the red cheeks. “It’s very tiny.”

“I figure it can’t be very old.”

“Is it a boy or girl?”

He shook his head as he continued to jiggle the infant. “I don’t know.”

“How can you not know?”

He chuckled. “Maybe because I haven’t seen anything more than the bit that’s not wrapped up.”

“You mean to say—”

“I found it here in that basket. Can’t you make it stop crying?”

He expected her to know what to do? Of course he would. After all, as an agent for the Orphan Salvation Society, she was deemed an expert on children. Only one problem. Until her father had signed her up for this trip, she’d had very little to do with children except in the company of their mothers or older sisters. Never had she even seen a baby so tiny.

Still she told herself,
I can do this.

She
would
do this. She’d prove to her father and everyone else—herself included—that she wasn’t simply a fancy lady from New York. She was capable.

He held the crying infant out to her.

Her heart thumped so hard she thought he might hear it. She sucked in a steadying breath. Hoping her arms wouldn’t shake noticeably, she took the baby. It was incredibly tiny. Somewhere deep in her being, a protective ache made itself known and she cradled the bundle close.

Heidi stood on tiptoe to peek around Rebecca’s shoulder. She pulled aside a corner of the quilt to look at the baby. “Oh, sweet,” she whispered. Then, as she realized Colton could see her, she ducked back out of sight.

Colton heaved a sigh that Rebecca took for relief. Obviously, he thought she could take care of the little one.

“Very well.” She could do this. “What does it need?”

He shrugged, though it seemed more like a gesture of uncertainty than lack of concern. “Beats me. But I suppose it’s hungry.”

“Then hand me the bottle, please.” She indicated the nursing bottle he held in one hand.

He did so. His fingers were long and firm-looking. A workingman’s hands. Hands that would grip life with an unrelenting grasp.

She pulled her thoughts back to reality and the heart-wrenching wails of the infant in her arms. She rocked. “Shh. Shh.” But the cries did not abate. What was wrong? What should she do? Steeling her face to reveal none of her fears, she shook the bottle then tipped the nipple into the open mouth.

The baby choked.

She jerked the bottle away.
Oh, dear God, please don’t let this little one die.
At that moment she wished some of her deportment lessons had been forgone for instruction in child care. But, of course, she was expected to follow her mother’s example and let her future children be raised by wet nurses and nannies. Rebecca recalled her nanny from when she was about five. When Miss Betsy left, she remembered crying for days until her mother had forbidden any more tears. Then she’d cried in private, often disappearing into a closet and shutting the door, hiding in the darkness.

Her arms tightened around the baby. No child deserved to know such loneliness and isolation, if it could be avoided. A child belonged in a home where he or she would be loved and valued.

Heidi tapped Rebecca’s shoulder and whispered so softly Rebecca strained to catch her words. “Maybe the baby needs a dry diaper.”

Rebecca stared at Heidi. How did this child know more about infants than she, a grown woman, did? She stilled a sigh. Because Heidi had been taught from an early age to be practical rather than ornamental.

The girl smiled. “Maybe there’s one there.” She indicated the basket, but didn’t move.

Rebecca understood that Heidi didn’t want Colton to see her. The poor girl was terribly self-conscious about the burn scars on her face and arms, especially after they’d kept her from gaining approval from any of the families looking to take in one of the Orphan Salvation Society children. But their time together had left Rebecca feeling very close to Heidi and very protective of the sweet, quiet girl. If she couldn’t find a home for Heidi, the child would live in the orphanage and Rebecca would have to return to New York once she was done here. If her father would allow it, she would take Heidi back to New York and keep her so she wouldn’t have to go to the orphanage. But even if Father did approve, the Society would insist the child be placed in a two-parent family. And anyway, her father would absolutely refuse. Rebecca prayed daily for a loving home for the child and did her best to ignore the ache in her heart at knowing she must say goodbye to Heidi.

She edged toward the basket to consider the contents, letting Heidi follow in her shadow.

Thankfully, Heidi reached around her and searched through the items. “I found one.” Her voice remained low, not wanting Colton to hear her. “And here’s a note.” She handed the piece of paper to Rebecca.

Her heart quivering, Rebecca unfolded the page.

I’m so glad there’s going to be an orphanage where my little boy can be safe. Please take good care of my darling. His name is Gabriel.

She pulled the baby close to her heart. The orphanage wasn’t ready, but she’d take care of this child until it was. But now she had Heidi and the baby in her care. And an orphanage with stalled construction. The baby cried and she jiggled it in a vain attempt to soothe it.

It was a lot to manage. She drew in her chin. But she would do it.

Chapter Two

R
ebecca handed the note to Colton, felt his concern even before he read the words.

Heidi tugged at Rebecca’s arm. She bent to catch the child’s soft words. “What does it say?”

She told Heidi that the baby had been left behind.

Little Heidi’s big brown eyes filled with shock. “His mama and papa are gone? Are they dead?” Sorrow hollowed out each syllable.

“I don’t know what’s happened to them.” A number of possibilities came to mind, but none she wished to share with a ten-year-old, especially one who knew all too well the agony of losing her parents.

“Poor little baby.” Heidi reached out and tenderly stroked the tiny cheek.

The baby stopped crying long enough to swallow hard, then began again. He sounded so distressed that Rebecca’s heart threatened to weep in response.

Heidi offered her the diaper.

Rebecca simply stared.

“You want I should do it?” Heidi’s voice carried more eagerness than Rebecca had heard since shortly after they left New York. At that time Heidi had been full of hope for a new, loving family. But at every stop, people had seen her scarred face and turned away.

Perhaps helping care for the baby would ease Heidi’s hurt. “If you’d like.”

Heidi didn’t have any younger siblings, yet she knew what to do. Were some people born with that knowledge? If so, what was she born for? Her mother’s voice answered,
Rebecca Gwendolyn Sterling, there is no greater privilege than to run a home, entertain guests and be an asset to your father’s station in life. And when you marry, provide the same for your husband.

The lessons she had learned about maintaining flawless etiquette, organizing superb dinner parties and dressing to the most fashionable degree were all well and good in New York, but here they proved utterly useless. She couldn’t help but wonder if those lessons were truly any more useful in the big city. Certainly her fiancé had found her lacking, despite her rigorous training to be a high-society hostess. She shoved the thought away. She’d vowed not to think about Oliver once she boarded the train on this trip.

At her father’s request—insistence, really—Rebecca had left New York two months ago with thirty children. As an agent under the auspices of the Orphan Salvation Society, she had assisted the late Mr. Arlington in placing children at the various towns in Indiana, Illinois, Iowa and Nebraska. They had been on their way to Greenville—the final stop on their itinerary—when tragedy struck.

She tried to stop the horrifying memories from filling her mind, but they came with brilliant sharpness. The holdup of the train. The bandits making impossible demands. The children crying. The chaos that broke out when the thieves couldn’t open the safe and then the shock of a gunshot echoing through her head and heart. Her mouth still grew parched at the memory. Poor Mr. Arlington. His life ended a few miles from Evans Grove. But good had come even from the darkest of days, since the loss of Mr. Arlington had caused her and the children to settle—temporarily at first—in Evans Grove. If they’d gone to Greenville, most of the children would have ended up in Felix Baxter’s orphanage, farmed out for slave labor. Instead, nearly all the children had found good homes in Evans Grove. All but Heidi, who looked as happy as Rebecca had ever seen her with little Gabriel to care for.

Heidi spread a blanket on a clean board and indicated that Rebecca should put the baby down.

Colton moved closer, peering over Rebecca’s shoulder as Heidi tenderly folded back the quilt until the baby lay exposed in a white flannel gown.

Rebecca could not believe how tiny he was.

Colton whistled. “You ever see such a small baby?”

Heidi jerked back at his voice. She gave Rebecca a pleading glance before the baby’s cries drew her attention back to him. Rebecca let out a gust of air, thankful that Heidi hadn’t gone into hiding the way she often did with strangers.

She answered Colton’s question. “Never.” A fierce protectiveness filled her heart. She tore her gaze from the baby to Colton’s face and blinked at the way his green eyes glistened. As if he found the sight of the baby as incredible as she did. For a heartbeat she let herself share the sense of pleasure and possibility with him. Though she couldn’t have explained either if anyone asked.

She shifted her attention back to Heidi, carefully memorizing everything the child did. Rebecca might be inexperienced when it came to caring for babies, but she had proven over and over that she could learn new things very quickly. She’d learn how to care for this tiny newborn and provide for his every need.

Heidi put a dry diaper on the baby, then swaddled him in the quilt. She pulled at Rebecca’s skirt, urging her closer so she blocked Colton’s view. Then she sat cross-legged on the board, took the bottle from Rebecca’s hand and began to feed the baby. She indicated that Rebecca should lean closer and she did. “You have to wait until he stops crying so he won’t choke.”

Rebecca filed that information alongside the steps on changing the baby and swaddling him in a blanket. Then her brain raced with all the things she needed to do. “He’s going to need fresh milk. I’ll speak to Mr. Gavin about it. At the same time I’ll ask where the building supplies are. I’ll arrange for a crib or cradle to be put into our room at the hotel.” Somehow she’d care for the baby and oversee the orphanage construction at the same time. How hard could it be? She turned back to Colton to assure him that she could manage.

But she did not see approval in his face. She saw resistance. He opened his mouth, but she wouldn’t let him voice his argument. She might be a city girl, but she could handle a lot more than people gave her credit for.

“The orphanage should have been finished by now. That’s obviously what the mother of this little boy expected.” She tipped her head toward the note he still held. “As the person responsible for the building project, it’s only reasonable for me to care for him until he can be safely sheltered under this roof.” She indicated the building under construction.

He shook his head. “Not this baby.”

She stared at him. What did he mean? Was he suggesting that she wasn’t up to the challenge?

She tipped her chin and rallied her defenses.

* * *

“This baby belongs with me.” Colton forced himself to ignore the shocked hurt in Rebecca’s eyes.

Her cheeks flared pink. “He’s your son?”

His face burned and he hoped he didn’t turn the color of a bonfire. “No.”

“Then I don’t understand what you mean.”

“You see the quilt?”

From the way she looked at him, he knew he wasn’t making any sense.

“It’s my grandmother’s. Or rather, my grandmother made it.” He stumbled over the words. When had he ever had such a hard time explaining a simple thing? Never. But with Rebecca’s wild-flax-flower blue eyes on him, he could hardly think straight. He felt clumsy and way too big before her daintiness. Though she was tall for a woman, she still had to tip her chin to meet his eyes. Which she did, her expression was patient, serene and yet downright challenging. No doubt she wasn’t used to having her decisions disputed.

She might be a rich, city girl and he only a nothing-special kind of cowboy, but this baby wasn’t going to an orphanage if he had anything to say about it. “The quilt proves he’s connected to the Hayes family, and I aim to take care of him.” He let out a sigh of relief when she didn’t point out that the quilt might have been passed on to someone outside the family, though he detected a flicker in her eyes that might indicate she wondered at the possibility.

“I’m sorry, but I have to ask how you intend to care for a baby. You’re a—”

“A cowboy. I know.”

“When I got here a few minutes ago, you didn’t know what to do with him. You appealed to me to help make him stop crying.”

“True. But I’m sure I can manage. My ma will help.” At least, she’d be able to give advice. “He’s family. I have an obligation.” Caring for a baby would stretch his time to the limit. Already he struggled to keep up, always torn between the demands of the ranch and the care of his parents. But he’d find a way to make it work. He wouldn’t accept any other possibility. He had a duty to this child, and he was determined never to fail in his family duties again.

She smiled, making it even more difficult for him to figure out his thoughts.

A tiny thread of suspicion made its way up to his brain. Was her smile meant to disarm him?

“I admire your sentiment.” Her tone didn’t quite match her words. “But it’s clear as glass that the mother intended the baby to be cared for in the orphanage. That means I am the one who should care for this baby until the building is finished.”

“Then what?” Surely there was more in the baby’s future than being raised in an institution. There were already too many children who didn’t have loving homes. A fact that tore at his insides. He wouldn’t leave an abandoned kitten to fend for itself, and the thought of abandoned, orphaned children seemed as wrong as a yellow sky. He couldn’t take in all the children who would eventually come to stay at the orphanage...but he could take in this one.

“He could be raised in the orphanage or maybe placed in a foster home or adopted,” Rebecca replied.

A moment ago he’d feared that his face was turning red. Now the blood rushed from it. “No. I’ll take him home. He’ll be safe with me.” He wouldn’t contemplate the baby going to strangers.

Little Heidi had fed the baby the milk and burped him. He now slept in her arms, the fingers of one hand curled around her index finger. Asleep he didn’t look like such a challenge.

Heidi saw him watching her—or, more correctly, the baby—and ducked behind Rebecca’s back. He understood Heidi’s shyness, having seen the scars on her face. They marred an otherwise beautiful child, but he didn’t find her appearance off-putting, especially given her sweet way with the baby. Since she hid behind the curtain of her saddle-brown hair and kept her face turned down, he guessed she thought otherwise. Someone should tell her to let people see her big brown eyes more often and they’d forget about her scars.

He returned his attention to Rebecca. The pretty blue eyes had become brittle granite. He took a step backward and tried to sort out his thoughts. He didn’t know the rules of arguing with a pretty city girl. All he knew was that he intended to personally see to the care of this infant and he’d brook no argument.

She turned to the little girl. “Come along, Heidi. We’ll go to the store first.”

Before she could take a step, he planted himself in her path. “Now, wait just a minute.” He tried to form a plan, mount a convincing defense, but her steady consideration of him and the way she held her head high left him scrambling for reason. “Look, maybe we can work something out.”

She quirked an eyebrow. “What do you have in mind?”

He didn’t have anything concrete planned, but perhaps they could share the responsibility. The idea immediately appealed to him. “There’s plenty of room at the ranch. You and Heidi and the baby could live there. I could help care for the baby and make sure he’s okay.” As he spoke, the idea took shape in his mind. “You wouldn’t have to stay at the hotel any longer.”

Rebecca smiled, though the brittleness remained in her eyes. “That’s a lovely idea.”

He heard the
but
before her smile faded.

“But I have to stay in town to see why the materials haven’t been delivered. I have to make sure this building is complete before the orphans come to live here. Wyatt will return any day with children.” Wyatt Reed was the newly appointed U.S. marshal charged with tracking down the orphans Baxter had hired out. The marshal had recently married Charlotte Miller and they’d adopted Sasha, one of Rebecca’s young charges. If Wyatt hadn’t discovered how Felix Baxter was getting rich by hiring out orphans from earlier trains, those poor children would still be suffering. “It makes me angry to think how the children have been mistreated.” Felix had robbed those children of any chance at a normal life.

Colton jerked his attention to the frame of the building beyond her shoulder. The only thing he could offer was his help. “I came here this morning to pitch in on the construction.” An idea took root and blossomed. “If you take care of the baby at the ranch, I could do more work on the orphanage.”

The doubt that clouded her eyes did not clear.

He had to convince her. It was the only way he could think to get her to give up or at least share the care of the baby. “I’ll take over supervision of the construction work. Personally see that this building gets completed in a timely fashion.” Surely a few words in the right ear and an occasional trip to town would be sufficient. The task wouldn’t require much time away from the ranch. It was the ideal solution.

But she shook her head. “I am not prepared to abdicate my task to someone else.”

He got the clear feeling that that was her final word on the subject. Was there anything that could be said to change her mind?