Linda Goodman's Sun Signs (15 page)

You're sure to find a Gemini or two skimming through the halls and matching wits with people in a radio station, a public relations firm, a publishing house, a telephone answering service, an auto showroom or an advertising agency—if you can catch one between appointments. When you've found this quicksilver person, study him carefully, even if you do get exhausted following him around. The first thing you'll notice is a nervous energy that fairly snaps, crackles and pops in the air around him. If he has a Scorpio, Libra, Cancer or Capricorn moon, he may not vibrate with so much obvious crackle, but the snap and pop are latent, and you'll sense their presence under the influence of the other planetary positions. An occasional Gemini will speak slowly, but most of them talk fast. All of them listen fast.

Man or woman, Gemini is impatient with conservative, stick-in-the-muds, or with people who can't make up their minds where they stand on particular issues. Gemini knows where he stands, at least for the moment.

Unless there's a conflicting ascendant, the Gemini build is generally slender, agile and taller than average. Many of them have small, sharp features, as if they were cut in a cameo. You'll find some with brown eyes, of course, but the majority of those ruled by Mercury will have beautiful, crystal-clear hazel, blue, green or gray eyes, that twinkle and dart here and there. Geminis never rest their eyes on one object for more than a few seconds. In fact, their alert, quick-moving eyes are often the easiest way to recognize them. The complexion tends to be rather pale, yet they usually tan easily, and that's the way to spot them in the summer. (In the winter, they often have wind burns from swooping down a ski slope.)

There's an eagerness about Geminis, an immediate, sympathetic friendliness, and unusually quick, but graceful movements. The hair can be light or dark or both—like, streaked. Twins, remember? The nose is likely to be long and straight or dainty—in either case, probably well formed. There's frequently a receding hairline in the men (from all that activity in the brain, perhaps), and both sexes normally have rather high foreheads.

It's usually a mistake to try to pin Geminis down to either one place or one idea. It's always a mistake to challenge them to a battle of wits, because they can talk themselves in and out of situations with the greatest ease. They think fast on their feet (or in any other position); they can be sharply satirical, and they're more clever than almost anybody. Some Mercury people take a mischievous delight in disconcerting slower minds with their lightning fast mental processes. How would you like to get into an argument with Gemini Joan Rivers?

A June person will sometimes appear to light near you, like an inquisitive bird, survey the scene with excited curiosity, then dart off in a different direction almost before you can say hello. I often join a Gemini friend in Lindy's for cheesecake and some casual conversation. He's thirty-five to forty years old, but he looks like a college student, which is typical of Gemini's ageless appearance. For a while we'll talk pleasantly, interrupting each other and easily bouncing from one topic to another. Then I'll search in my purse for a compact or a pencil, look up—and like some disappearing artist in a magic act, my Gemini friend has vanished into thin air, taking the check with him. (The more un-evolved types use this agility to leave you with the check.) When he pulls one of those fast dissolves, I glance around the room anxiously, and suddenly, there he is—making a phone call or waving to me gaily as he skips out the door to who-knows-where.

This particular Gemini was recently engaged to a wonderful Aquarian woman (if anyone can cope with an elusive Gemini, it's an Aquarian), and a week before the wedding, five would get you twenty anywhere on Broadway that he would find a way to slip out of the noose—that somehow, he wouldn't make it to the church on time. But he did. Geminis can surprise you. Especially when they're in love.

One of my favorite Geminians is a Mercury woman who—typically—runs her own business which requires her to be glued to the telephone twenty hours a day. Despite seldom being able to leave her desk, she still gives the impression of flying around. Like most Gemini females, she has an extremely pretty, interesting face, with intelligence stamped on every feature, and her quick Mercury hands flutter in the air like lively birds. Using more charm and wit than the law allows, she cheerfully solves everyone's problems in the twinkling of one of her clear, blue eyes. I've watched this woman find a baby sitter and a pair of gerbils for a customer, make out the grocery list, write thirty-two checks (one of her favorite occupations), phone a Broadway producer on a yacht in the Caribbean, fold the family laundry, figure the week's working schedule for her employees, find her husband's blue tie, write down the directions for the shop where he could pick up some tropical fish for their son, snap four pictures of the dog, open and read her monthly bills (then absently file them in the wastebasket), help a casting office locate an actress who speaks six languages, and give twelve clients a wake-up call—all in the space of a little over an hour without leaving her swivel chair. Go top that.

The secret is in the Geminian duality. They can do two things at once with less effort than it takes most of us to do one. Mercury mothers often fold laundry, feed the baby and talk on the phone at the same time. Some people swear that all Geminis were born with a phone in each hand.

Any kind of routine can make a typical Geminian feel like a droopy bird in a cage with his wings clipped. These people resent drudgery and monotony almost fiercely. Usually, they aren't the most punctual souls in the world (unless they happen to have a Virgo ascendant, in which case they become human alarm clocks). The typical Gemini, however, always arrives late, not because he forgets the time, but because something caught his interest on the way and sidetracked him. The restless Mercurial nature demands constant excitement and change or the spirit becomes dejected and morose.

If you have a Mercury friend, you've probably already experienced a common Gemini habit that can be so annoying it can give you ulcers. He'll suggest some activity to you, like dropping over to his apartment (it will seldom be a house—too permanent), catching an old Humphrey Bogart film followed by the latest romantic comedy (double feature, naturally—he doesn't play singles), driving out to the golf range to practice a few swings or stopping in Shula's for a few rounds of Scotch. You're tired and you're on the way home. You thank him anyway, but ask for a rain check. The Gemini argues with you. Convincingly. He turns on those baby blues (or greens or browns) and weaves a cocoon of charm around you. He talks so fast and his smile is so persuasive that, after a while, you give in. You'll go. He has a few errands to run, so he says he'll meet you on the corner in about an hour. That you didn't expect so you start to back out, but he turns on his technique again, and you finally agree to meet him. It's a real drag, killing the hour, and besides, your feet hurt, but you manage to do it, and you show up on the corner at the appointed time. Good old Jim is a half hour late and a little out of breath when he gets there. Guess what? He's changed his mind. He's really beat. He's decided to call it a day, hit the sack—and make the scene tomorrow night. You don't mind, do you? Only a Gemini could avoid a sock in the jaw at that point. But he does. You forgive him, and what's really ridiculous is that you'll actually meet him the next night, like you had good sense or something. You've only yourself to blame for succumbing to the irresistible Gemini sales pitch. If you get stood up again the following evening, you have it coming. It serves you right for letting him sweet talk you.

There's a deep-seated need in all June people to disguise their true motives. Like the Pisces they feel a compulsion to behave in a way exactly opposite to their real desires. But this amazing Gemini versatility and facility of speech makes them terrific politicians, not to mention experts in the field of human relationships. A Gemini knows how to swerve you from your most stubbornly held convictions. He can twist you like a pretzel with his mental karate, get you to agree with him and love him for doing it to you. But if trouble develops, he knows instinctively just where the skeletons are buried in your closet, and he can use his fast mind and clever tongue to rattle those bones dangerously.

There's a strange thing about Geminis and writing. The Sun sign itself rules writing. Therefore, practically every Mercury man or woman can turn a clever phrase and string words together intelligently. You'll find whole slews of them writing speeches, commercials, documentaries, plays and books. But the books will be novels, textbooks, nonfiction or biographies. Very seldom will you find the Geminian writing his own life story. And it's extremely rare to find one who likes to write personal letters. The typical Gemini hates to answer correspondence. He'll procrastinate for weeks.

It may seem to be contradictory at first, but the reason is clear, when you realize the reluctance of Mercury people to be pinned down to an opinion. They hesitate to put their thoughts on paper because they instinctively know that what they believe today, they may not believe tomorrow—and they don't want to be committed in writing. Few Geminis need to be warned by their attorneys to “Say it, don't write it.” They were born with that defense mechanism. There are an astonishing number of Gemini authors who choose to use a pseudonym—and even the average Geminian will eventually find some reason to adopt an alias—either a complete change—a different spelling, or at the very least, a nickname. The rule is so consistent, you can win a nice nest egg betting on it with all the Geminis you know.

Almost every Gemini speaks, understands or reads more than one language and French is the favorite. One way or another, the Gemini will triumph with words. He cut his teeth on Webster's Unabridged. He can sell ice cubes to an Eskimo or dreams to a pessimist. If you happen to catch him in some dodge, he can change the subject so fast, and direct the conversation away from himself so adroitly, that the whole affair ends with you on the carpet instead of him. Sometimes the Mercury tendency to fool people can lead to dishonesty or criminal activity, but not as often as you've been led to believe. Although his talents can tempt an occasional Gemini to live in a web of lies and deception, most of them are too idealistic for a life of crime. Still it must be admitted Mercury gives them superior equipment for success in that field—and they can be brilliant con artists if they choose. With their manual dexterity, if they pick a pocket, forge a check or counterfeit a sawbuck, at least they're neat about it and seldom get caught.

If you come across a smooth-talking used car salesman who was born in June, and he tells you the blue Studebaker had just one former owner—a little old lady who drove it only to church every Sunday morning—you'd be wise to ask the name of the church and check with the little old lady (unless she's a Gemini, too). But seriously, unless the afflictions and planetary positions in the natal chart are marked, the majority of Geminis are honest—and some of them are even painfully honest to a fault. They seem to go from one extreme to another. Yet, they all—petty thief—con man—and upstanding citizen alike—will be unable to resist putting a light coat of varnish on a story at times. Of course, that's not lying. That's imagination.

As promoters, all Mercury people are absolutely superb. They have no equal, not even Aries. The promotions can be strictly aboveboard, but few people are strong enough to outlast the combination of charm and sharp intellect Gemini dishes out, and that alone may be taking unfair advantage. When a Gemini tackles a worthwhile project—to sell something mankind deeply needs and wants, the angels smile on him, and we can thank those born under this Sun sign for many great and lasting improvements which have benefited all of us. At heart, every Mercury-ruled person is a salesman, even the Gemini Jesuit priests and Protestant missionaries. Take two entirely divergent examples which prove it. Gemini John F. Kennedy sold the whole world a shining ideal—and Gemini Clint Eastwood sold Hollywood a dream or two. Each in his own way, a Mercury child. Both the world and Hollywood are notoriously jaded and hard to sell.

Geminis need to rest their busy brains with twice as much sleep as anyone else. Unfortunately, since they're so susceptible to insomnia, they rarely get enough. Nevertheless, they should try hard to achieve rest, rest and more rest, to heal those jangled nerves and renew the over-active brain cells, because nervous exhaustion is a constant threat. Gobs of fresh, unpolluted air and barrels of bright sunshine are also necessities to keep them out of hospitals. A lack of any of these, plus suppression of activity—can make Geminis susceptible to accidents and infections involving the shoulders, arms, hands and fingers. The lungs may be weak, also the intestines. Problems involving the feet, back, elimination, arthritis, rheumatism and migraine headaches are always a possibility for the Mercury people who neglect their health. The odd thing is that the Gemini can suffer an emotional breakdown more easily from boredom and confinement than from over-activity.

Deep inside his searching, impatient nature, the Gemini seeks an ideal, and his chief problem is in recognizing what it is. It could be anything, since his imagination knows no boundaries. Money, fame, wealth, love and career are never quite enough. Mercury calls Gemini higher and higher—on and on—above and beyond, with a seductive promise of something always just a little better. The grass always looks greener just across the road. The sky is bluer over another ocean. The stars shine brighter in a different place. What is it he seeks? Perhaps some hidden, undiscovered continent within himself. Gemini is the mental explorer.

His eyes are sharp and his talents are multiple. He has a brilliant humor, tact, diplomacy and adroitness—yet he lacks persistence and patience. He throws away the precious old too quickly for the untried new, then lives to regret the instant disposal. In spite of all the people around him, he shares his deepest emotions only with his one constant companion—his other twin self. The air is his element and his real home. He's a stranger to earth.