Linda Kay Silva - Delta Stevens 3 - Weathering the Storm (14 page)

Delta shrugged again. “Sure. Why not. What, exactly, am I listing?”

“The important things in your life. Your job, you family, your friends, Megan, material things. Things of that nature.”

Delta nodded and reached for Megan’s hand. “I love Megan more than anyone I’ve ever loved.”

Amanda smiled and nodded. “Yes, but where does she fit in the scheme of your life?”

“She’s the most important part. Is that what you’re asking?” Delta felt like she was in a play without a script and they were both reading off of cue cards.

Leaning forward, Amanda’s smile softened. “Delta, you’re here because you and Megan feel you use work to emotionally distance yourself from people. You both believe you give your energy, your time, your heart to the job. What I want to know is how do all these pieces fit together in your life? Don’t say what you think we want to hear or what you think is the right answer. Be honest with yourself; what is the one thing in your life that gets your best energy?”

Delta stared down at the floor. She wanted to say her relationship. But then, that wouldn’t be honest and Megan deserved her honesty. Lifting her head, Delta whispered, “My job.”

“Your job.”

Delta nodded, looking over at Megan with apologetic eyes. Megan squeezed Delta’s hand and brought it to her lips. “It’s okay, honey. It’s no surprise.”

“It’s no surprise, Delta, but why was it so hard to admit?”

Delta shrugged. “I don’t want to hurt Megan.”

“That’s why we’re here, sweetheart. So we learn how not to hurt each other.”

“Why do you think admitting that will hurt Megan?” Leaning back, Amanda flipped her hair over her shoulder. Her dark eyes zeroed in on Delta’s.

“Because she should be first. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? Aren’t we supposed to put our relationships before everything else?”

Amanda’s lips turned up slightly. “`Supposed to’ by whose rules? Delta, the last two times we’ve met, I’ve gotten the impression that you don’t follow rules and conventions very much.”

“I don’t.”

“So why are you trying so hard to follow that rule?”

Looking over at Megan, as if she might help her with an answer, Delta heaved a sigh. “Because I don’t want to lose her. Megan means so much to me, but I can’t seem to give her more than my career.”

“Do you want to?”

Delta nodded. “I do.”

“Why do I feel like there’s a `but’ hanging in the air?”

Releasing Megan’s hand, Delta stared down into her palms. “I guess...I want to, but I don’t know how. All my life, all I’ve ever wanted to be was a cop. Every relationship I’ve had prior to this one with Megan came second to that.”

“Why is that?”

God, Delta hated this. She felt like her soul had been unzipped and that they were poking around inside trying to find out what hurts and what doesn’t. “No one ever understood how much I love my job, or why. They’d bitch and moan that I wasn’t home enough, that I didn’t give them enough when I was home, blah, blah, blah.”

“Does Megan do this?”

Delta looked at Megan and smiled warmly. “No. Not yet.”

Amanda’s eyebrows rose. “So, you anticipate that she will?”

Delta hesitated before answering. “Yes. And who wouldn’t? I put in long hours, I risk my life, I eat, sleep, and drink my career. At some point, she’ll have to take a look and see if what I give the relationship is enough for her.”

Amanda turned to Megan. “And is it?”

For the first time, Megan adjusted her position in the chair. “Delta knows how much I love her. But love isn’t really the issue here, is it?”

Amanda smiled the smile Delta was sure all shrinks were graded on in college. “I don’t know. Is it?”

Megan blushed. “Love might have brought us here, but it isn’t the reason we came.”

“Then what is?”

“Right now, there are a lot of changes going on in my life and I wish Delta didn’t work so hard so she could help me sort through them all.”

“But?”

“But she can’t.”

“She can’t? Why not?”

“Because she puts our relationship on autopilot. Delta stops working on everything but her career, especially when she’s working on a major case.”

Amanda turned to Delta. “How do you see this, Delta?”

Delta shrugged. “It’s true. When I’ve got something really hot happening, I forget about everything else in my life.”

“Including your relationship?”

Delta nodded.

“And I take it you don’t want to do that anymore.”

Reaching over for Megan’s hand, Delta bit her lower lip. “I’ve never given someone all of me. I guess I’ve been afraid of giving me up and then being stomped on.”

“Like you’ve saved some of yourself for reserve.”

Delta leaned forward. “Exactly. I hold back in all situations except the job. Megan is the first woman I’ve been with who’s been willing to help me learn how to be a better partner because, in all honesty, I don’t know how to give any more than I already give.”

“I see. But you do want to give more?”

Nodding, Delta pulled Megan closer. “Yes, I do. She is an incredible woman, Amanda, and I really, really love her. She deserves my best.”

“And you don’t believe you are giving that to her?”

Delta slowly shook her head. “You heard her. She needs me right now and I’m not even sure I can be there for her.”

“Do you want to be?”

“I think so.”

“You’re not sure?”

Heaving a loud sigh, Delta rubbed her eyes. “Change isn’t easy for me.”

Nodding while she jotted a few notes down, Amanda studied the two of them for a moment before speaking. “Desire to change is only the first step. You must know, in your heart, that you’re capable of change. Willing and able, like Megan said last week, are two entirely different things. I’m going to leave you with this question, and I don’t want you to talk about it, Delta, I just want you to think about it.”

Delta nodded. “Okay.”

“Let’s say love was in the shape of a golden key. If that key was sinking and so was your badge, and you could dive in to save only one, which would it be, and why?”

Inhaling deeply, Delta nodded. “Okay. Anything else?”

“Yes. Megan, you have needs which aren’t being met. I want you to focus on meeting them yourself. That will take some of the pressure off of Delta.”

Megan nodded.

“It seems you both love each other so much that it should be able to carry you through. Well, I hate to burst any bubbles, but it won’t. Love isn’t enough. You obviously know this, or you wouldn’t be here.”

Both Megan and Delta nodded.

“So, it’s time to start visualizing, start thinking about what needs to happen to make change, and what each of you will do if the change doesn’t happen or isn’t enough of a change. How does that sound?”

“Scary,” Megan answered.

Amanda grinned. “It is. Any kind of change is scary, but relationship changes are the most frightening. As long as both of you continue to communicate and work toward a common goal, you should be okay.”

Okay. There was that word again.

Okay. Delta didn’t want to be okay. She wanted to be better than okay. Her relationship with Megan was too important to just be okay.

Rising from the chair, Delta didn’t hear what Amanda was saying to Megan. She was too busy thinking about a key and a badge slowly sinking from her grasp in a pool of calm water.

She didn’t have a clue which one she would save.

Delta awoke to the annoying ringing of the phone. She hated beingawakened this way; it always made her heart beat fast.

“Hello?”

“Stevie? It’s Leonard. You wanted me to call if we found anything out about our alleged murder-suicide.”

Delta sat up and changed ears with the phone. “I’m listening.”

“Right from the get-go this didn’t appear right. Too many inconsistencies for the naked eye, but the lab boys cleared it up pretty damn fast.”

“Inconsistencies, like what?”

“Ballistics shows that both the boy and Richardson, the adult male victim, were shot by the same .38. But the autopsy on the boy revealed a millimeter hole and a two-centimeter ring of tattooing, which could only mean that the boy was shot at a distance of approximately four feet.”

Delta waited to see where Leonard was going with this.

“If the boy and Richardson were handcuffed together at the time of the first shooting, Richardson was not the one to squeeze the trigger.”

A chill swept through Delta. “Are you saying there was a third party?”

“Most definitely. We ran a trace metal test and no gunpowder residue was found on Richardson’s hands. He didn’t shoot the gun at all.”

“Is that what you were looking at?”

Leonard chuckled. “I was looking at the way he was clutching the gun. His finger wasn’t on the trigger. With suicide shots like that, the victim usually grasps the gun harder. He did, but his finger wasn’t in the saddle.”

“So, someone else shot him.”

“Yep. Someone out there wants us to think Richardson shot the boy and then himself, but that’s not what happened. I’d bet my dinner on it. Someone was in that house with them and set the whole scene in motion.”

“Interesting choice of words,” Delta muttered.

“Don’t try to snow me, Stevie. I know what you’re after and I know why. Hell, more than anybody, I know why.”

Delta held her breath and waited.

“And that’s why I’m calling. If you’re gonna do what I think it is you’re doing, I want you armed with the right info.”

Releasing her breath into the phone, Delta nodded. “Thanks, Leonard. I appreciate it more than you know. Did the lab find anything else?”

The line was suspiciously silent.

“Leonard?”

“Look, Stevie, I know you’re a feminist and all, but I’m not real comfortable describing what went down prior to the shooting. Suffice it to say, there was some weird shit going down between Richardson and the boy.”

“Thanks for your concern, but I’m a big girl and I need to know what kind of lunatics are running around my beat.”

“We’re not talking lunatics, Stevie. These jokers are way out there.”

“Leonard—”

“Alright, but you gotta keep a lid on this, Stevie. I’ve already been in the shit-house once because of you.”

“I’ll keep everything quiet till you give the word.”

“All right then. The boy, on whom, by the way, we still have no ID, had been sodomized by Richardson and someone else. Richardson had semen traces in his stomach and had handcuff marks on both wrists.”

“Richardson was a pedophile?”

“Akiddie-lover.Yep. At least, he was right before he got whacked.”

“What about the neighbors?”

“No one saw a thing.”

“Time of death?”

“They’d been dead a couple of days.”

Delta rolled over and wrote everything on the pad she kept by her bed. “Anything else?”

“Yeah. We found a bunch of porno videos behind the bookshelf in the bedroom. They were rented from Kempt’s Porn Palace on Esplanade.”

“Any with kids?”

“All.”

Chills swept over Delta’s entire body. “You think it’s them?”

“Can’t be sure yet. It sure doesn’t look as professional as that memo made these characters sound. Pretty sloppy, as a matter- o f - f a c t . According to their MO, the bad boy ring leaves little evidence behind. Usually, they destroy entire buildings. Something went sour on ’em.”

“Wonder what happened.”

“Oh, I know what happened. Dear old Mrs. Lanning next door is what happened. Apparently, she had been nosing around the place. My guess is she made them nervous so they got out of there before she could ID anyone.”

“So she didn’t see anything?”

“Nope. They’re very good. I tell ya, Stevie, they didn’t leave much, but what they did leave could give us a lead.”

Us? Delta smiled. It would seem that some of her alleged vigilantism had rubbed off on the irrascible detective. “I’ll check my sources, Leonard, and give you a call if I come up with anything.”

“Do that. Oh, and do us both a favor and call me at home. The last time we got mixed up together, I ended up losing a week’s pay.”

Delta nodded. “Gotcha. Keep in touch.”

“You, too. And try to stay out of trouble.”

Hanging up the phone, Delta wrote down a few notes before picking the receiver up once more and pressing the first number of her auto-dial. “Con, it’s me. Wake up. We’ve got some work to do.”

When Delta walked into Connie’s house without knocking, as she usually did, she smelled the welcome aroma of freshly brewed coffee. She loved Connie and Gina’s cozy home and the warmth it exuded. She knew she would come to love it even more when there was a child running about.