Lingering Echoes (10 page)

“And you think
I
do?” I folded my arms. “That’s not a fair answer.”

“It’s a little complicated.”

“Whose life
isn’t
complicated?” I retorted. “I can’t figure you out. For example, why would you bring me out here in a canoe, especially after I told you I hate the water?”

Thi
nking about it again, I gauged our distance from the shore. If the canoe sank right now, it was a long swim back to dry land.

An instant wave of
panic hit me. My hands jerked to hold onto the edge of the canoe and my abrupt movement knocked my paddle into the water. Making a swift grab for it, I rocked the canoe back and forth. I gasped as I almost fell overboard.

“Hey
, calm down,” Damien said. “Don’t worry, I’ll get it.” I let him retrieve it for me, accepting the wet handle he passed my way. Embarrassed by my reaction, my irritation grew.

“And you thought I’d like this
why
?” I asked, not bothering to help row us any further. Damien laid down his paddle.

“
You’re a bit of a grump when you’re nervous, did you know that?”

I ignored his insult.

“And I didn’t say you’d like it.”

Exasperation spilled out of my mouth.
“Then why’d you bring me here, Damien? Why did you even show up today?”

“
Are you about to the pull the ‘stalker’ card again?” Damien’s stern voice was a new development. His demeanor changed. “You want the truth? I was just trying to get you alone.”

His
words startled me for a moment. His low voice sent a tremor up my spine.

Aaron’s concerned face came to mind
again, his eyes narrowed and worried. I swallowed, not daring to look into Damien’s own eyes.

Looking around
, I felt an overwhelming sense of helplessness. I was stuck in a canoe in the middle of a deep lake, with no one around us. And nobody knew where Damien had taken me.

“You seem worried,” he said
.

“I’m not worried. I just don’t like the water and you know that.
” My throat tightened, making breathing more difficult. What kind of person would know those intimate details and still bring me here? It was insensitive and mean.

“Take me bac
k. Take me back now,” I said, my voice rising.

Damien’s expression w
as calm. He didn’t make a move. I turned my back on him and thrust my paddle into the lake, pulling against the water, but I couldn’t turn the canoe myself.

He was in control.

I glared at him. “Help me row back to shore. Right now.”

“
I don’t understand. What’s the matter?” Damien said. “I just meant I wanted to spend some time with you.”

“Why?”

Damien thought for a moment. “You intrigue me.”

“
Intrigue you? So, what—I’m a source of entertainment?” I frowned at the hint of amusement in his expression. “Is it fun for you to watch me squirm or something? You’re sick, you know that?” The swelling panic rose up my throat. I battled it with anger. “I want to go home.”

I couldn’t read the thoughts behin
d Damien’s darkened eyes, but he nodded. “Ok, Allie. I’ll take you back,
if
that’s what you want.”

I nodded.

I couldn’t shake the anxiety. Instinct told me something wasn’t right. Whatever the reason, all I knew was that I wanted to be back on dry land, and back in the safety of my cabin.

Damien did as I asked.
And neither of us spoke another word as he drove me back. When we passed the river and drove through the trees, I tugged on his shirt. “You can drop me off here.” Damien slowed down but didn’t stop.

“I can take you all the way back to the cabins. It’s not a problem.”

“No, that’s ok. I can walk from here.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s
fine
.”

Damien pulle
d on the brakes. I hopped off and removed the helmet, handing it to Damien without looking at him.

“Thanks,” I muttered. Without looking back,
I strutted off towards the cabins, feeling Damien’s eyes following me.

An hour later, I
was sitting on the porch, still feeling confused and grouchy. Even
I
could recognize the reoccurring theme in my emotions, but I couldn’t explain them or make them go away.

The door behind me opened. Aaron stepped out, pausing as he looked down at me.

“Hi.” I looked back down at my fingernails. Aaron took a step down and sat beside me.

“What happened to
you
?” he asked, leaning his forearms on his knees. Despite his words, there was little concern in his voice. More apparent was a shade of contempt.

“First, I see you gallivanting away with your mysterious motorcycle-riding hero, and now here you are looking depressed.”

I met his gaze with a tentative raise of my head. “I’m sorry I ditched out on you like that. I don’t know what I was thinking. But that was rude of me and I’m sorry.”

Aaron shrugged. “Hey, I can understand. He’s a handsome fella, I suppose. I’d probably ditch out on me,
too. Maybe. It’d be a pretty close call.”

I smiled at him,
sensing his humor returning.

“You want to talk about what happened?”

“I don’t know.” I made a face. “That’s just it. Nothing happened. I just got a little freaked out. All he did was take me in a canoe. But I got nervous, and wasn’t sure if it was because of him or you know, ‘cause of my phobia and all.”

Aaron pie
ced his words together with care. “You know, Allie, people get those feelings for a reason. And you should listen to those. Personally, I don’t trust the guy. Just the way he looks at you is creepy. And, while I didn’t say anything to your dad, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be thrilled about you hanging out with someone like
Mr. Mysterious
either. He just looks like bad news.”

“Great,” I commented with my dampened mood.
“Now
you
sound like Nick, too.”

“But it’s out of concern, not spite or trying to get you in trouble,” Aaron explained.
“There are a lot of weirdoes out there, Allie. I mean, do you even know anything about him?”

“
Mmm...” I bit my lip. “That’s somewhat why I got upset. I’ve told him a lot about
me
. He doesn’t say much about himself.”

Aaron raised his eyebrows, letting me think about that one for myself.

“Ok, I get your point,” I said. “But I guess that’s in part what makes him exciting.”

“And
likely dangerous,” Aaron added. “Will you just do me a favor and listen to your instincts?”

“But how do I know my
instincts aren’t tainted? That I’m not just screwing things up because of my crazy emotions?”

“I can’t answer that for you,” Aaron said. “But just trust yourself.”

Trust myself. I hadn’t wanted to do that in a very long time.

Hiding
behind a tree, I held my breath. My eyes peered through the foliage, searching for the flag. I smiled to myself. Despite my initial reluctance to play Capture the Flag, Brooke was right. It was a nice break from juggling my emotions about Damien.

I could see two teenage boys
hovering within a fifteen-foot perimeter of a scraggily shrub.

Dead
giveaway.

I jumped from tree to tree, hid
ing from their distracted view. Finally, I sprinted towards the shrub. My fingers fumbled around as I made a grab for the flag.

“Hey!
She’s got the flag!”

I took
off towards the boundary line, sidestepping a lanky, blond girl. I heard frantic scurrying behind me. Too far behind me. Satisfied, I leaped over a fallen tree, a mere fifty feet from victory. Nothing like winning a game to ease my troubled mind.

Someone slammed into my
side and knocked me to the ground. The flag slipped from my grasp. I grunted as my body made contact with the solid dirt beneath me. My bare arms grazed along the ground, opening fresh abrasions.

“
Ow!” I searched for whoever had assaulted me and scowled.

Nick rose to his feet,
dusting himself off. “Got ya.”

I placed a hand on my
knee. Having taken the impact of my fall, I knew the swelling wasn’t too far behind.

“Nick, are you for real? This is
tag,
not tackle!”

“Oh
, don’t be such a girl,” he said, crossing his arms as he looked down at me. “I thought you could handle it. Considering how much your dad brags about you being some all-star athlete, I assumed you’d be tougher. My mistake, I guess.”

“A simple apology would be nice. It’s just a game. You didn’t need to attack me.”

“Boo-hoo, Allie. You look fine to me. Don’t be such a poor sport.”

I stood to my feet, testing the
weight on my knee. I grimaced. “You know what, Nick? I don’t need to deal with your ridiculous attitude.”

“
Oh. Now
that’s
funny. You’re talking to me about
my
attitude? Take a look in the mirror, Allie.”

I stared back at him
. “What are you talking about?”

“What am I talk—
are you serious? From the moment we got in the car to drive up here, you’ve been nothing but self-absorbed in your own pity party. Ok, so that sucks what happened up here with your cousin. I get that. But you’re so stuck in your “poor me” attitude that you can’t even see how you’re affecting anyone else.”

My jaw dropped
. Nick continued his rant, ignoring the circling group of curious onlookers.

“
This trip isn’t supposed to be all about you, Allie. But you’ve made it that way from the start. You’re oblivious to anyone else. Take my mom, for instance. It’s obvious that she wants a relationship with you. But you won’t give her the time of day.”

My body was still.
My voice monotone. “I have nothing against your mom.”

Nick threw up his hands. “It’s not what you’ve done to her. It’s that you don’
t care. Personally, I’m not interested in the two of
us
getting along. But I know it’s important to my mom that she gets to know you, for reasons I can’t understand. But I love my mom. So when your indifference hurts her, yeah, that’s gonna upset me.”

I opened and c
losed my mouth, but no words formed. I wanted to tell him he was wrong. But I couldn’t. Because I could see some truth in what he was saying. I
was
focused on myself: my feelings, my fears. And I was pushing everyone away.

Aaron stepped towards us, placing a hand on Nick
’s shoulder. “Come on, buddy. Let it go for now. This isn’t the place for this conversation.”

Nick shrugged
him off, unconcerned about the crowd. He stared me down, waiting for my rebuttal.

But I had nothing to say. For once, maybe Nick was right.
I walked back to the cabin alone.

***

I looked at my row of letters: T, M, J, E, Z, R, Y. What could I spell with those? I tapped my finger on the table in thought.

“You’re taking for-
ev-er.”

I ignored Nick
as I studied the scrabble board. Inspiration hit me. I picked up the letters J, E, and R. Borrowing the K from “RAKE”, Clara’s previous word, I placed my letters on the edge of the board. The word “JERK” stared back at me.

“
Thanks for the tip. Couldn’t have thought of it without you. Your turn.”

Nick rolled his eyes. “Whatever
...”

“
All right, knock it off, you two,” Dad said from across the table. He and Clara exchanged a look.

“The board game was your guys
’ idea, not ours,” Nick said, placing his next word.

A rapping noise
caught our attention. Brooke threw open the door with enthusiasm, looking as though she was trying to hide her glee.

“Hi,
” she said from the doorway, hesitating as she met our faces. “Um, Allie? Can I talk to you for a minute?” I wondered if anyone else caught the hint of urgency in her expression.

“Yeah, sure,” I said, scooting back
wards in my chair.

“You better hurry.
” Dad examined the letters in front of him, while rubbing his chin. “I’m going to have a good one by the time you get back.”

Br
ooke motioned me to hurry. No sooner was I at her side than she grabbed hold of my forearm and tugged me out the door.

“She’ll be just a minute!” Brooke managed to call back into the cabin before she pulled the door shut. That left the two of us standing on my doorstep.

“What’s up, Brooke?” I asked, folding my arms against the chill of the evening.

Her eyes widened as she prepared for her explanation. “It’s Damien. I have a message for you.”

I looked at her in confusion. “What are you talking about? When did you see Damien?” He hadn’t come around for a couple of days now. But I didn’t blame him after how I reacted on the canoe.

“J
ust now. I was out by the lodge clubhouse and there he was, walking towards me.”

“And?”

“He wants to see you.”

My nerves twisted inside, combining apprehensio
n and excitement. But how could I talk to him after what happened?

Brooke seemed to sense me faltering. She grabbed my wrists.
“If you could just see the way he was asking about you; how he can’t stand to be away from you...

“That doesn’t sound like him.”

Brooke squirmed. “Ok, I might have made that up. The guy doesn’t say much. But if he did, I’m sure that’s what he would
like
to say!”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Thanks.” She smiled. “So, have I convinced you to give him just one more chance?”

“Brooke, why do you care so much?”

“
Because...
this whole thing with Maddie—” She hesitated when she saw me flinch. She quickened her words. “Ok, it’s not my business and I don’t know all the details, but it doesn’t take an expert to know you’re too hard on yourself. And there’s just something about this guy that seems good for you. You come back looking a little...brighter, I suppose.”

I chew
ed on my lower lip, fighting indecision. “All right,” I agreed. “Where am I supposed to meet him?”

Brooke clapped her hands. “
He said he’d wait by the tree—you know, the one you fell out of the night you met him?” She laughed while I made a face.

“Ok, yea
h, yeah. I remember. Oh, wait. What am I supposed to tell
them
?” I gestured towards the door. I was sure Dad couldn’t wait to show me the word he’d come up with.

Brooke moved my hand from the doorknob. “I’
ll take care of it. Get going!”

Stepping with uncertainty, I walked towards the lake, moving to the c
luster of trees I had not returned to since the night I met him. My footsteps slowed when I approached my tree, but I didn’t see Damien. Maybe he’d changed his mind.

Stepping
up to the trunk, I placed a tentative hand along the bark. I glanced through the quiet darkness for any sign of his presence.

No one was there.

With a sigh, I looked up through the branches. Familiar and safe, I knew I would find comfort within them. With a quick heave, I launched myself up through the tree, rising higher and higher through the branches. My bare arms chafed against the bark, and I ignored the slight throbbing from my right knee, reminding me of last night’s altercation with Nick. Frowning at the thought, I came to rest on a thick, solid branch. I straddled it with my legs. Wrapping my arms around the trunk, I rested my forehead against it.

It was twenty-four hours later and I still didn’t know why I cared so much about what Nick thought of me.
It’s not like I had any respect for the guy. Why would anything he said linger on my mind? Yet, last night I laid in bed with my mind repeating his cutting words over and over again.

With a sigh,
I looked down at the quiet lake and the empty shoreline. The water lapped against itself, nudged by the cool breeze skating by.

“Allie.”

His voice startled me. I looked below the branches. Damien was standing at the base of the tree, his hands resting on the limbs above his head. He peered up at me. The full branches shadowed his features, darkening his defined brows.

I held my breath, hoping he didn’t hear how it caught in
my throat at the sight of him. I tried to ignore the indistinguishable tremor that danced through me as my eyes met his.

“Mind if I come up?”
he asked.

“No, that’s fine
,” I said. He climbed without difficulty, pulling himself through the branches until his face was level with mine. He sat on a limb beside me, stretching out his legs to balance himself.

R
ecalling my panic-stricken reaction the last time we were together, I blushed in the dark. But somehow, now that I was with him again, I couldn’t remember why I’d been so afraid.

“
Thanks for meeting me. You all right?” he asked.

I broke his gaze.
“Yeah. But, um, I feel a little silly about the other day.”

Damien shook his head. “
That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. You were right. I knew you were scared, but I still convinced you to go out there with me. I pushed you too hard and I’m sorry.” He put a hand on my arm. “It’s just that, ever since that day at the river—”

Damien stopped, hesitating with his words. He looked out at the lake for a moment, as though caught up in an unspoken memory.
“Sometimes I see you with this haunted look on your face, and I know you’re still there, like you’re trapped and can’t get away.”

My hands gripped the tree
trunk, but I couldn’t speak. How did he seem to know me so well?

“I f
ind myself wanting to help you and somehow thought I could. But when I upset you the other day—” He paused with a pained expression. “I know now that’s not my place. Anyway, I just wanted to apologize to you tonight and let you know I’ll leave you alone from now on.”

“Please
don’t.” The hurried anxiety in my voice surprised me, but I couldn’t stop it. “I want...I think I do need...some help.” I met his questioning gaze again and continued.

“I got into an
argument with my stepbrother.” I let out a short laugh. “That’s nothing new. But this time, he was right.”

“What happened?” Damien asked.

I reflected on the previous night’s musings, lying in bed and remembering how troubled I’d felt inside.

“I don’t
make it a habit of acknowledging anything Nick says to me, but last night, he made a point. He told me I’m self-absorbed with my own problems. No, it’s all right,” I said, preventing Damien from interrupting me. “I understand what he was saying. I’ve let fear control me. It happened with you the other day on the canoe.” I sighed and debated whether or not to continue. Taking a quick breath, I released it with a rush of words. “I’m having a hard time and haven’t wanted to admit it. And that’s why I need you to stay around.”