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“So am I but it’s a really good kind of scared, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know how to do this.”

“I can help you if you let me. We can help each other.”

“Yeah, right. Like you need any help, especially from me.”

“But I do. I’ve never been in love before either. The only difference between us is that I’ve already accepted it for what it is. I’m ready for us because I’ve been hoping to find you. I know the life I want with you is possible because I grew up surrounded by people who have what we can have. You’re not sure any of this exists, that a couple can love and trust without boundaries because you weren’t exposed to it before you came here and even now you’ve kept yourself on the fringes.”

Tori caught a few chest hairs in her teeth and tugged to get Guy’s attention.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“Distraction so you let me change the subject before I hit overload.” She kissed the spot. “Better?”

Guy shifted his groin slightly. “What do you think?”

Tori giggled. “I’d say that’s a yes. I’d also say it really was okay for me to leave you hard last night since I don’t think you’re exaggerating anymore about that being your constant state.”

“Tease. You might want to watch what you say next, tiger.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re nice and warm now.”

“Yeah, so?”

“If you’re not cold anymore there is some other reason for your nipples to be as hard as my cock.” She gasped. “Personally, I’m glad to know I’m not the only one affected here. Gives me more to work with. Now I can ask you to listen to your body until you’re ready to hear your heart. Or are you going to pretend that you’re not excited and deny that you want me?”

“No. But that’s just physical. It doesn’t have anything to do with love.”

“All right, Tor, if you say so,” Guy agreed pleasantly. “Want to talk about something else or should we discuss how physical we can get together?”

“Tempting as that sounds, I think we better save that for later. Why don’t you tell me why you have an accent?”

Guy was soon lost in his past. “If you ask Mom she’ll insist we would have been fine staying in the two-room apartment while Dad finished his time with the Merchant Marines. I think she would have managed somehow because, let me tell you, my mother is the most determined person I know. The fact that she had an almost toddler, an infant and was pregnant again with a husband who was away for months at a time didn’t stop her from finding work. She would have continued to juggle it all after I was born too if she’d had to but I’m getting ahead of the story.

“Dad says they couldn’t wait to get married even though they couldn’t afford it and both sets of parents told them not to expect any help if they went against their advice. He and Mom eloped and he joined the Merchant Marines because they decided it would be worth spending time apart for a few years if they could then afford a house when he got out. They hadn’t exactly planned on having kids right away but they’ll both tell you they didn’t do a thing to prevent it.

“Marie was born nine and a half months after their wedding. She was five weeks old before Dad got to see her. Mom was pregnant with Terese by the time his month leave was up. He was home for her birth but gone again a few weeks later. I was conceived on his next leave.

“The whole time Dad believed their parents would come around. Mom was skeptical but she sent letters and pictures every month or so since it made Dad happy. She included Dad’s grandmother even though she’d never met her. She says she did it because she loved the way Dad looked when he talked about her.

“Two weeks after I was born Mom opened the door and, as she calls it, entered the Twilight Zone. Granma got tired of waiting for Mom’s and Dad’s parents to come to their senses and decided it was time for her to take charge. A week later, when Dad got home he walked into utter chaos. He says Mom was unpacking as fast as Granma packed. Everything they owned was thrown somewhere and Marie and Terese were crawling through it, laughing and babbling while Mom and Granma argued over Granma’s plan, which was to take Mom and the babies back to Quebec with her until Dad was off the ship. After Dad got them calmed down enough to explain he figured out that Mom didn’t object to moving. She just wasn’t leaving until he got back and agreed it was a good idea.

“Dad had signed on for five years. He got out two months before their fifth child was born. We spent another two years in Quebec while Dad did an apprenticeship with a local electrician before we moved back here. After that, my sisters and I spent summers there.”

Guy continued to speak, telling Tori everything he remembered about his time with his great-grandmother and what his childhood had been like. For the most part, she let him ramble, uninterrupted except for an occasional question.

“I wish I could have met her,” Tori stated when Guy paused.

“Me too. She would have loved you. And I think you would have loved her too, not that she would have given you any other choice.”

“No wonder you are the way you are.”

“Which is?”

“Everything you’ve said about your mom and great-grandmother combined and magnified. Determined, stubborn, one-track mind, willful, focused, persistent…”

“Kind-hearted, loving, loyal, patient, truthful, dedicated,” Guy added. “You can’t pick out the traits that suit your purpose and ignore the others I share with them. I’m sure you’re right. I did grow up under the influence of their strong personalities. I’m proud of who they helped me become. Overall, I like who I am. I think Granma would be very pleased with the way I turned out. I know my parents are.”

“Hearing you talk about them like this almost makes me want to meet them.”

“Ah,” Guy hesitated.

“What?” Tori tensed, dreading what she knew was coming. “Guy?” she asked her whole question with just his name as she tugged her hands from under his body and used them to prop her chin so she could see his face.

“There’s something we need to talk about and I’ve been avoiding it because I honestly don’t know what to do.”

“I can tell already that I’m not going to like this. Too bad too since I enjoyed the last hour. May as well just spit it out now that the fun’s over.”

Guy took a deep breath and linked his fingers behind her back. “Terese and Todd host a Christmas open house every year.”

Tori immediately began to shake her head. She would have pulled away but Guy’s arms prevented her. “Un-uh. No way. No how. Not happening. No, and I mean hell no! Do you hear me? Are you listening? You’d better because there is absolutely, positively, without a doubt, not any chance in the universe that I am going to that with you.”

“Tori—”

“Don’t bother. Just forget it because nothing you say will change my mind so don’t waste your breath.”

“Tori—”

“What’s with you? How many different ways do I need to say this? For the last time, Guy, thanks but no thanks. I must regrettably decline your kind invitation. I have a prior commitment that I just can’t get out of so, I’m sorry to disappoint you but I’m afraid I simply can’t be there. It’s impossible.”

“That might be more effective if I’d told you when it was.”

“Doesn’t matter because I’m booked from now until the third Tuesday in April.”

“Then you have some calls to make because your plans have changed.”

“Just like that? You say jump and I say how high? And if I refuse to get in the car when you order me to you’ll handcuff us together and carry me to it? Where do you get off, bossing me around like you are somebody? Who the hell do you think you are anyway?”

“Tori,” he said sharply, his tone silencing her. “I am the man who cares for you enough that I’ve stayed awake for hours trying to find the solution that is easiest and least upsetting for you. I’m the man who loves you enough to worry about whether or not my good-intentioned family will hurt you by being themselves. I’m the man who would do anything to keep a smile on your face and your eyes from taking on that cautious look they get when you realize that you forgot yourself and opened up the slightest bit as you put the distance back between us.”

“Nobody asked you to do that so why don’t you just forget it? Why don’t you just go away and leave me alone?” Tori cried as she finally struggled out of Guy’s embrace. She got off his chest and moved to stand at the window on the far side of the room. She stared out, her rigid back toward Guy and fought to hold in her tears. As she wrapped her arms around her middle she felt more alone than she ever had in her life.

“Tori,” Guy said softly to let her know he was behind her before he draped a blanket over her shoulders. “Please come sit down and listen for a few minutes. Let me explain why I’m torn about this. I know you don’t really want me to go away and forget about you. I know you don’t want to be alone anymore. At least come back and let me keep you warm.” Guy slowly guided her back to the couch and maneuvered so she was sitting between his outstretched legs, cradled against his chest.

“Can we talk now?” he asked.

“Don’t you mean can you make your proclamations while I nod like a good little puppet?”

“No.”

Tori waited for him to continue until she couldn’t handle the silence. “All right, fine. Let’s talk. Start with why you don’t know what to do.”

Guy sighed and kissed her forehead. “As I said Terese and Todd have an annual Christmas open house. Friends and neighbors wander in and out at random. Family generally stays for the whole thing. In the past, it’s always been a nice thing. Relaxed, mellow, easy. I told Terese I’d be there last month when she called with the date. I can’t back out without an excuse and she’ll know whatever I tell her is a lie. I can’t go alone because the only way I’ll know you’re safe is if I can see you. I know, I know. It’s a paranoid, overbearing, Alpha reaction but that’s how I am so deal with it.

“If I call my sisters and explain who you are and why I’m bringing you with me, they’ll fall all over each other trying to make you comfortable in a way would have you cowering in the nearest closet. If we just show up there they’ll be able to see how I feel about you. I can introduce you as the witness I’m assigned to guard and make your presence into a purely professional thing and they won’t hear a word of it. They’ll make a fuss over you and pry into your life by asking all sorts of inappropriate personal questions without noticing how uncomfortable they’re making you. Even with me and Todd running interference for you, we won’t be able to shield you from all of it. Don’t misunderstand me. I love my family. I wouldn’t trade any of my sisters for the world but I’m not unconscious. They take some getting used to especially when they’re together. They’re not at all subtle and they don’t know how to be tactful. They’ve been trying to fix me up for years and they’ll push and pick until they figure out what makes you so special to me.”

“Gee, that sounds like so much fun. Todd and his wife provide the setting and you provide the entertainment. Tell me, does someone time how long it takes for your dates to flee? Do you keep a cab waiting outside so they can escape quickly once they’ve been reduced to mush? Do the neighbors line the walk and throw rotten vegetables if the woman doesn’t make it through round one?”

“I never took anyone with me before,” Guy stated quietly.

“Oh,” Tori almost choked. Her assumptions and comments had been uncalled for and completely undeserved. “Why not?”

“I never had anyone in my life I wanted to introduce to my family. I don’t mean that as in I hid my past relationships or I was ashamed of them. I dated some great women and a few of them did meet various family members. I meant that no one was ever an important enough part of my life that I wanted to include her in a significant family gathering.”

“I’m not either, Guy. If you weren’t stuck protecting me you wouldn’t bother considering this.”

“Tori,” Guy exhaled heavily. “I would appreciate it if you stopped telling me how I feel. At least until you pay enough attention to know for certain. I understand why you’re lashing out at me but I’m seriously concerned and trying to be open with you so we can come up with what’s best for you because I don’t want to hurt either you or my family. I get that you believe I’m lying and manipulating you so I can use you for my own selfish purpose before I kick you to the curb. I can swear on my life and make promises until I’m blue in the face and you still won’t see me as anything other than the cop you’ve accepted to protect you and the man you don’t mind having sex with when you need help forgetting your nightmares for a few hours. I get that, Tori. It hurts but I know I’ll get over that as soon as you see me for who I am instead of who you have yourself convinced I am. Aw, Christ,” Guy swore when he realized Tori was crying.

Unable to face Guy, Tori buried her head against his chest. She slid her arms around his waist and clung to him. She wished she could turn back time and erase the hateful things she’d said from his memory. He was right. He had been trying to make an unavoidable and potentially stressful situation easier for her and she had been a cruel bitch. Now, to make things worse, he was comforting her even though he thought she considered him a liar and a user. Even if he was mistaken about his feelings for her, Guy was a good man. One who would never deliberately set her up to be hurt and publicly humiliated. One who certainly didn’t deserve the treatment she had been giving him.

Tori swallowed her tears and swiped her face. She forced herself to look at Guy. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have said those things. I’m so sorry.”

“Sh, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not! Damn it, Guy. You were being nice to me and I was a miserable bitch. You know it and you’re still being nice.”

“What should I do instead?”

“Toss me on the floor, wish me luck living through Russ and Stan’s visit and leave me alone like I deserve.”

“I see. There are several things wrong with your suggestion. One, I don’t want to toss you on the floor because I like holding you. Two, no matter how much you piss me off I refuse to turn my back on my duty. Three, the thought of handing you over to those two goes against everything inside me and would even if I didn’t feel a thing for you. Four, you do not deserve to be alone. Not now. Not ever.”