He
shoved his hands in his back pockets and said, “Yes, they have a good
relationship. Like I said, we’ve known the Nelson’s all our lives, and Mr.
Nelson is like a second father to us.” He looked at me intently and added, “Max
was thinking we could all take a day trip over to Friday Harbor tomorrow and
hang out for awhile until our parents arrive in the evening for the official
business of discussing the Ray-pacs. Will you be up for an outing?”
I
nodded. A day away from the island and the memories might be a good thing.
“If we
go, Hannah said she’d probably join us. So, you’ll get a chance to meet her.”
Why
did I detect eagerness in his voice when he talked about me meeting her? “I’d
like that,” I said softly.
“Okay
good.” He smiled and turned to go. When he got to the door he turned his head
back and gazed at me for a few seconds. “I am sorry Alex. I hope our friendship
doesn’t change. I really do enjoy your company.” With that he strolled out the
door and softly closed the door.
“Good-bye
Jason,” I said sadly. Lying back down, I put my head on my pillow and stared at
the ceiling. Was love always this painful?
Sitting
on a wrought iron bench next to Jason’s sister Hannah, I watched the activity
below us at Friday Harbor Marina. A long, straight dock resting on tall pilings
stretched out in a straight line over the water for a couple hundred feet. At
the end of the dock people were milling in and out of the passenger terminal.
Yachts, speedboats, and sailboats were tightly moored on the left of the dock,
and the Washington State Ferry Landing sat empty on the right side.
“Hope
you don’t mind me pulling you away so we could chat – just the two us?” Hannah
said and I diverted my attention her way. Silver, butterfly earrings dangled
from her ears, and her blonde hair was pulled back in a clip.
“Not
at all.” I smiled. “Jason has told me a lot about you.” Her flawless skin, rosy
cheeks, and sparkling blue eyes were part of her beauty, but she definitely had
the “pregnancy glow” working for her, too. The way her stomach bulged through
her red sun dress, made it abundantly clear to any passerby that she was
pregnant.
“I
wonder what stories my little brother has been sharing.” She arched an eyebrow
but grinned.
Yes
well, her little brother had arrived back at the Retreat with everyone the
night before, and we’d sat around the campfire roasting marshmallows and
catching up. That’s when we’d made plans to spend Saturday at Friday Harbor and
meet up with Hannah. We’d set sail in the early morning and had arrived around
noon at the Rocky Bay Café for a late but tasty breakfast.
Afterwards,
we’d slowly strolled through the Whale Museum – a charming two story building
with a main focus on orcas. We’d browsed through Funk & Junk Antiques, and
I’d stuck close to Jessica, keeping some distance between Jason and myself.
That seemed to be working okay, but I still felt awkward around him. From
there, Shelby and Trevon had decided to take a stroll, and Hannah had asked me
if I’d sit outside with her while she rested her swelling feet. That’s when
everyone else, Jason, Jessica, Max, Laci, and Madison, had headed for the
Boardwalk Bookstore.
“What
did you think of the Retreat?” Hannah asked, interrupting my thoughts.
“Incredibly
awesome,” I said.
“Yeah,
you could stay for months and want for nothing,” she agreed.
Desperate
to change the subject before she asked what Jason and I had been up to all
week, I glanced at her stomach and said, “So, when’s your due date?”
She
laughed. “It’s hard to believe but not until October 23.
rd
I know,”
she shook her head and touched her protruding stomach, “I look like I’m ready
to pop, don’t I?”
“Oh
no, I didn’t mean that.” I felt my cheeks turning a deep shade of red.
“Oh, I
know you didn’t. But believe me, I feel like I am.”
“Do
you know yet if it’s a boy or a girl?”
Her
big, blue eyes flickered with excitement. “Yes, a little boy,” she said
proudly. “Oh, he just kicked!” Her smile grew wider. “Would you like to feel
him kicking?”
“Sure,”
I said timidly. Gently placing my hand on the cotton fabric of her dress, I
felt several, random thumps. With each one I watched her stomach jump through
her dress. “Oh! That is so wild. Does it hurt?”
“No.”
She sighed happily. “I love his strong kicks. Sometimes when he whacks my
ribcage it’s a little painful, but I just smile and count my blessings that he’s
strong and active.”
“Must
be incredible knowing there’s a little life growing inside you,” I murmured and
removed my hand.
She
looked at me and smiled. “There are no words to describe the feelings I already
have for this little guy.” In a more serious tone she said, “Your Essence is
very strong and energizing, just like Jason said it was.” She lifted her feet
in the air and said, “I usually rest my feet for at least a half hour before
the swelling goes down, but after your short touch I already feel better. Maybe
you should just hang out with me for the next couple months and help me through
the final stages of pregnancy,” she teased.
“Better
you than your brother,” I mumbled and then blushed as I watched her frown. “I’m
sorry,” I said and touched her shoulder. “I don’t know why I said that.”
“It’s
okay,” she sighed and gazed at the harbor.
I was
silent and did the same. The marina was nicely sheltered because the island
jutted out around us in a u-shape. We were nestled back in the very center of a
cove – protected from the open waters. The sun was shining, but the sky was
dotted with sporadic, white feathery clouds, and it was yet another warm,
August afternoon.
“I’m
not one to beat around the bush, so I’m just gonna come out and say this,” she
said, looking at me grimly.
“What’s
that?” I asked quietly, my stomach suddenly tying itself into knots.
Biting
her upper lip, she rubbed her hand over her stomach. “Jason asked me if I’d
talk with you. He thought that maybe you’d like to have me erase a couple of your
memories, something that happened between you…”
“What?”
I said angrily and slapped my hands on my thighs. “I can’t believe him. How
dare he even suggest I have the memory of our kiss swiped away like it never
happened, like it never meant anything.” I jumped to my feet. “I’m sorry, but
your brother is the most bossy, arrogant–”
“He
kissed you?” Her voice sounded shocked and laced with exasperation. “What was
he thinking?” She stood up quickly, and because her belly was sticking out so
far, she placed one hand on her left side and leaned backwards as far as she
could as if searching for enough equilibrium to keep from toppling over.
Concerned,
I grabbed her arm and held onto her. “No, he didn’t kiss me,” I admitted.“I
kissed him.” In a more subdued tone, I said, “Are you saying he didn’t tell you
about our kiss?”
She
shook her head, worry lines creasing her forehead. “No, he didn’t tell me what
the memory was. He just sounded upset, and I assumed it had to do with the
Ray-pac attacks. I had no idea it was about you and him. At least this explains
his anxiety.” She scrunched her face as if in pain and sat back down on the
bench again. “This is not good.”
I
plopped down next to her. “Are you all right?” I asked. “I didn’t mean to upset
you. Please tell me you’re not having labor pains or something.” I frowned.
That was all I needed – to send Jason’s sister into premature labor.
She
offered a half smile. “Oh no, I’m sorry. Don’t think that,” she said. “I’m just
blown away. I hadn’t realized there was something more going on with you two
and…” she trailed off and regarded me anxiously, like she expected me to
volunteer more details.
Slumping
into the bench, I focused on a bald man and a little boy in a red striped shirt
down on the dock. They were peering into a nicely refurbished, wooden boat. The
boy looked to be about five years old, and he was pointing excitedly every
which way. The bald man, probably his grandfather, kneeled down next to him and
nodded his head emphatically.
“Don’t
blame your brother,” I sighed. “I’ve been attracted to him since the day I met
him. And in his defense, all along he’s warned me there was no chance of
anything between us except friendship. At first, he wasn’t even sure that was
going to work.” I glanced over at her, and she nodded with quiet understanding.
“Of course, it wasn’t until last weekend that I truly understood why.” I shook
my head, and shifted my eyes to her face.
Pulling
out her hair clip, she ran her fingers through her shoulder length, blonde
hair. “Oh Lexi,” she said emphatically. “I’m sorry. He didn’t tell me any
details. To be honest, he’s never been one to share much about his personal
life. Unfortunately for him, he doesn’t allow anyone to get too close to him,”
she said sadly. Tapping her fingers on her tummy, she looked at me gravely.
“But even if he did feel something more towards you than friendship, he knows
it’s not fair to you, him, or anyone else to explore those feelings.”
“I’m
so sick of hearing that.” I gritted my teeth and shook my head. “And yes, I know
all about the Nelson’s. I’m glad they followed their hearts and didn’t pass up
a chance at true love. Just think if they
had
willingly sacrificed their
love for the sake of helping the Circle of Guardians – we wouldn’t have Max,
Madison, or Jessica.”
“Lexi,”
she said softly, “They are lucky things worked out for them in the end, and
they were fortunate they were allowed back into the Network. But things are
different now. As members of the Bellingham Circle, or any other Guardian
Circle for that matter, there are certain rules we agree to follow. We can’t
afford to lose any more Amethysts, especially when there are so few in
existence. Therefore, any romantic involvement between a Guardian and an
Amethyst is strictly forbidden.”
“Well
I haven’t signed any official papers yet,” I huffed. “Besides, how can they
really stop it from happening?”
“Well,”
she sighed, “It’s the responsibility of individual Senior Guardian’s to be
aware of what’s going between the members of his or her own Circle.” She elevated
her feet and wiggled them side to side. “Listen,” she dropped her feet to the
ground and gazed at me, “since gossip spreads like wildflowers between the
Circles, I do know that the last time a romance started up between a Guardian
and an Amethyst, the Senior Council was immediately made aware of the issue.
The Guardian in question, and his entire family, were required to leave their
home and move across the country to join a different Circle. Not to mention,
the Guardian was placed on a yearlong probation.”
“That’s
so not right,” I said. “I can’t believe the Senior Council has that much
control.”
“Might
not seem fair, but we agree to follow the guidelines when we become Guardians.”
She shrugged. “While it’s for the safety and consistency of every Guardian
within the Network, I think the main philosophy behind the rules is simply to
ensure that we protect the Innocents to the best of our abilities—”
“And
that translates into not letting any of those abilities go to waste,” I
interrupted.
“Exactly.
And like I said, while I have no idea how Jason feels, I do know he always does
what’s right, even if it hurts him in the end. I would guess he’s acutely aware
of your feelings but wants to curtail them before you or anyone else gets
hurt.”
“Wow,”
I said quietly. “This is so screwed up.” After thinking about her words I said,
“Be that as it may, he has no right to assume I’d want the memory of our kisses
eradicated from my mind.” Her eyebrows stretched upwards at the mention of
plural kisses, but I hurried along, “Maybe you should erase them from his
mind.” Avoiding eye contact, I swatted away a fly that kept zipping around my
ear.
She
sighed and sucked in her cheeks. “I agree with you. But honestly, I think in
his own backwards way, he wanted to give you a way out – to find a way to make
your life easier. He really is a good guy, and I’ve never known him to be
anything but thoughtful.” I snorted but she ignored me. “Not to mention, he’s
never let me erase any memories for him in the past; I doubt he’d start now.”
“How
convenient,” I said sarcastically. I drummed my fingers against the bench.
After a few minutes, I slapped the bench and said, “You know what? You can just
tell him I did have you erase the memories.”
“What?”
She raised her shoulders and put her hands up in the air. “Now you want me to
do it?” She looked perplexed.
“Oh
no! Absolutely not. I want you to tell him you did, even though you didn’t.”
“That
doesn’t make any sense.” Her brows narrowed. “Besides, I don’t want to lie to
him.”
“Listen
Hannah,” I said and grabbed her arm, “He wants to make it easier for the two of
us to be around each other, to keep our relationship strictly on a friendship
level. Maybe he’s hoping that if you erased the memories of our kisses that
would mute my feelings, and…and maybe he’s right.”
She
was staring at me like I was a conundrum. “Why not just have me take the
memories away for real then?”
“Close
your eyes,” I said firmly, and she gave me a funny look. “I’m serious. Close
your eyes.” At length she complied. “Now, think back to the most extraordinary
kiss you’ve ever experienced. Recreate the atmosphere and remember where you
were and how you felt.” I gave her several seconds to place the image in her
head. “You got it?”
She
smiled, almost dreamily, and nodded. “Yes, it was with Daniel.”
“Okay,
great. So now you’re ready for me to completely obliterate that memory from
your mind?” Her eyes popped open, growing wide. Slowly, she shook her head from
side to side. “Well, neither am I,” I said adamantly. “Please do this Hannah.
At least for your brother if not for me. You don’t have to outright lie to him,
but if he asks you could just nod your head that it’s been done.”