Little Darlings (10 page)

‘No, Mum—' I try to interrupt her but she won't listen.

‘I'm giving you five seconds to get out of here!' she says. ‘How dare you break in like this!'

‘They
didn't
, Mum. It was me. I let them in. They were outside, sleeping on the pavement.'

‘Be quiet, Sunset. Go back into the house. Dear God, how could you be so stupid?'

‘Please, Suzy, don't be cross with her, it's not her fault,' says Mrs Williams.

Mum flinches at being called Suzy by a stranger.
‘Will you just go, please. You're trespassing on private property,' she says. ‘Do you want me to call the police? I've had it up to here with you crazy fans.'

‘No, Suzy, you're getting it all wrong. We're fans, of course we are, but we're much more than that. Now, if we could just have a word with Danny . . .'

‘Look, you saw him last night. I remember you two hanging around by the red carpet.'

‘But we didn't get a chance to have a proper chat.'

‘Don't be ridiculous! You can't just come barging in here demanding to talk to my husband, acting like you know us.'

‘But we
do
know you,' says Destiny's mother. Her pale face shines and her strange staring eyes glitter. ‘You're family.' She turns to Destiny and puts her arm proudly round her shoulder. ‘This is Destiny – Danny's daughter.'

I gasp. Destiny looks at me, biting her lips and blushing.

‘You're dad's daughter too?' I whisper.

‘Yes, dear, she is. Don't you see how alike you are? Oh, it's wonderful to see you two sisters together!' says Destiny's mother, clapping her hands.

‘You're talking total ludicrous rubbish!' Mum
shrieks. ‘Stop it!' She raises her hand as if she's actually going to slap Mrs Williams.

‘Don't you dare hit my mum!' Destiny says fiercely.

‘It's all right, Suzy, I can see it's a big shock having it sprung on you like this. But I promise you don't have to worry. It was just before you and Danny got together. I'm sure he'd never be unfaithful to you. Any fool can see how happy he is with you, a devoted family man – and I'm so pleased for you, truly. I've got no illusions. I might still love my Danny to pieces but I know I don't stand a chance with him now.'

‘Get
out
, you demented muckraker! What are you trying to do, blackmail us?' Mum shrieks.

Destiny's mum takes a step backwards, looking totally bewildered. ‘Of course not! I don't mean any harm. I just thought it was time for the girls to get to know each other, seeing as there's only six months between them – and Destiny needs to get to know her dad now, for all sorts of reasons.'

‘You're completely crazy. She isn't Danny's child! You've never even met him!'

‘I met him when he did the
Midnight
gig. He came to Manchester nearly twelve years ago. I met him afterwards, in the private bar of the hotel. It was a whirlwind romance – just like his
song,
Destiny
. He wrote it for me, I know he did.'

‘John! John, come here!' Mum shouts. Then she marches forward, almost spitting with rage. She takes Destiny's mother by the shoulders and pushes her hard. ‘Get off my property, you stupid sleazy groupie! Go away!'

‘Stop shoving my mum! Stop it!' Destiny yells, trying to grab my mum's hands.

Oh God, they're all
fighting
. I can't bear it. I don't know what to do. Should I help my mum – or Destiny and
her
mum? Is it really true?
Is
Destiny my half-sister?'

Then John comes running, and he seizes Destiny with one big burly arm and her mother with the other, and he's
dragging
them towards the gate.

‘That's it, get rid of them! I'm going straight back into the house to phone the police, so I wouldn't hang around if I were you,' says Mum.

‘No! Please! Let me see Danny just for a few minutes. He's got to meet his daughter.' Destiny's mum is begging.

‘She's
not
his daughter! Stop talking such rubbish. Stop it! As if Danny would ever have anything to do with a slag like you!' Mum shouts.

Destiny starts screaming stuff back at Mum, hitting and kicking John, but he's got his arm right
round her and she can't get away. He's dragged them almost to the gate – he's hurting them, it's so dreadful, and there's nothing I can
do
.

‘Sunset! Sunset!' Destiny's mum is calling to me now. ‘You tell your dad. Please, please, ask him if he remembers me, Kate. Tell him about Destiny. Tell him to get in touch. She'll need him—'

But then they're through the gate, and John shoves them hard, so they both fall down.

‘Stop it! Please don't hurt them!' I whimper helplessly.

Mum takes hold of me and slaps me hard on the face. ‘How dare you let those creatures into the garden!' she says. ‘Get to your room this minute.'

‘But they just wanted to see Dad, that's all. Mum, is it true? Is she really my sister?'

‘Of course not! It's just a stupid con trick to get money out of us. Don't you
dare
ever mention it to your father. Now get to your room and stop that ugly blubbering. What do you
look
like!'

She pulls John's fleece off me and drags me back into the house so fiercely she rips the sleeve off my teddy-bear pyjamas.

It takes us all day to get back home. The whole morning is taken up with hitching back to Euston Station. No one will stop for us, and then when this great fat guy in a white van gives us a lift he drives us the wrong way. We end up in a derelict
factory site, and then he gets really leery and Mum and I are scared stiff. He gets hold of me, but Mum punches him right where it hurts most and then we jump out of the van and run like crazy. Thank goodness he's built like a tub of lard on legs. He tries to chase after us but he can't keep up.

Still, we're properly lost now until some nice woman stops because Mum's crying. We tell her about the creepy fat guy and she wants to take us to the police to report him, but we talk her out of it. She drives us to the main London road and we're just starting to get out when she suddenly says, ‘No, get back in. I'm going to worry about you. I'll take you up to town myself.'

We can't believe she's so kind, especially as it takes ages because we're stuck in awful traffic jams.

‘I'm so sorry,' Mum keeps saying.

The woman reaches over and pats Mum's knee. ‘Come on, us girls have to stick together.'

She shares a Kit-Kat with us too, which is great, because we're both
starving
by this time. She puts on a CD, and you'll never guess who the singer is – Danny Kilman! Mum starts crying again when she hears the music. I hope she isn't going to tell the woman everything because it was all so weird and horrible. I couldn't stick that Suzy treating us
like we were dirt. She didn't even believe Mum.

That's the worst bit. I'm not totally sure I believe her either. When we get to the station at long last there's another battle to fight, because our tickets aren't valid any more, but Mum's still crying and the ticket collector relents and lets us through the gate. When we're on our way I go to the toilet and have a good long stare at myself in the dingy mirror. I turn my head slowly from side to side, tilting it up and down. Do I look like Danny? We're both dark, but that's about it. Maybe I look a little like Sunset, but she's all posh and glossy and talks like someone on the telly.

At least she was nice. Really friendly, and not a bit snobby. Thank God she's not like her mum. I hate that Suzy. Danny should have stuck with Mum.
If
they were ever an item.

When we get back home at long long last there are two bills waiting on the doormat. Mum looks at them listlessly and then drops them on the carpet. She goes to the bathroom and is in there a long time.

I go to the door and knock. ‘Mum? Are you OK?'

‘Mm? Yes, yes, I'm fine. Just a bit of a tummy upset – you know what I'm like. Can you put the kettle on for a cuppa, love?'

I go and start boiling, and then peer into the fridge to see if we've got anything to eat. There's
just a hard knob of old cheese and some soft tomatoes. I find the end of a loaf in the bread bin and cut it carefully in half. We can have cheese on toast with grilled tomatoes. I wish I could run out to the chippy. My mouth waters as I think of fish and chips, but I know Mum's purse is empty.

I feel down the sides of the sofa and chairs and go through all our pockets and find a single penny, not even enough for one chip. It'll have to be cheese on toast then. I make it carefully and lay it out on a tray.

Mum's looking very pale.

‘Are you OK, Mum?'

‘Yes, I'm fine,' she says quickly. She starts scurrying around, tidying.

‘Sit
down
, Mum. You look ever so tired. In fact, why don't you go to bed? I could squeeze in beside you and we could both have tea in bed.'

‘Don't be cross, darling, but I'm really not very hungry. I just don't fancy anything right this minute.'

‘You've got to eat, Mum. Look how thin you're getting.'

But she just sips at her tea and then wearily walks to her wardrobe, shuffling like an old lady. She pulls out a jumper, her tight skirt, those white heels . . .

‘Mum? What are you doing? What are you getting dressed for?'

‘I'm going to work, sweetheart.'

‘But you're absolutely knackered! You
can't
go to the pub!'

‘I'm fine,' she repeats, painting a grisly red smile on her lips.

‘You're
not
fine. Mum, I won't let you!' I take hold of her by the shoulders and try to steer her towards her bed, but she wriggles away from my grip.

‘I have to turn up tonight or they'll give me the sack. We need to pay all these bills – and the mortgage – and everything else.' She says it as if she's reciting multiplication tables, with no emotion at all, but suddenly there are tears streaming down her face.

‘Mum?'

‘I'm fine, I'm fine,' she says, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘It's just I so hoped we might stay with Danny for a day or so, and that he'd be so thrilled to see what a lovely girl you are he'd maybe want to buy you stuff, be like a proper father to you.'

‘I've got a proper mother. I don't want him for a father, not now.'

‘No, no, you mustn't take that attitude, babes.
Don't blame him. If he'd realized you were there then he'd have been so thrilled. It was just that Suzy – and it's clear that she's really, really insecure.'

‘Really, really a prize cow,' I say. ‘You know what, Mum? I feel truly sorry for Sunset. Imagine having Suzy for your mother!'

Mum gives me a wan smile. ‘Yeah, it beats me what Danny sees in her,' she says. ‘OK, sweetheart, I'm off now. Try to get to bed early. You need to catch up on your sleep.'

She gives me a kiss. When I look in the mirror again I see a ghost red mouth on my cheek. I finish my toasted cheese and Mum's portion too, and then I prowl around the house, too wired up to sit and watch television. I think about Sunset in her great big mansion. She'll have one of those televisions as big as a cinema screen. Perhaps there's one in every room in the house. There must be so many rooms. Would they really use them all? I imagine sitting for ten minutes on a huge leather sofa in one room, then walking to the next room and curling up in a big velvet chair, then two minutes later going to loll on a Victorian chaise longue, changing seats dozens of times throughout the evening, with kitchen intervals to fix myself snacks.

Perhaps she has a whole suite of bedrooms too –
one for each day of the week, with individual themes and colour schemes. I think up an ultra-girly pink room with rosebuds in pink glass vases and pink teddies and a candy-striped duvet and Sunset's very own pink candyfloss machine. Then I invent a blue room with blue fairy lights and a blue moon painted on the ceiling and an
en suite
blue bath with dark-blue dolphin taps. I decide on a sunshine room with a huge cage of singing canaries and big bowls of bananas and smiley suns all over the walls, and by contrast an entirely black room with a black velvet duvet and black satin sheets and an enormous black toy panther curled up on top. Then she might have a Victorian room with a four-poster bed and a scrap screen and a rocking horse, or an ultra-modern room with elegantly stark furniture and odd glowing lamps and a trapeze hanging from the ceiling. Best of all, she could have a round bedroom with a soft curved bed and shelves of round Russian dolls and a little trapdoor in the middle of the room, so that when she gets hot she can put on her swimming costume, open the trapdoor, and slide all the way down to a turquoise swimming pool in the basement.

I get my homework jotter out of my school bag, tear out a page, and do tiny drawings of each bedroom, so that I'll remember each one.