“
Ladies and
gentleman, in the light of the anonymous allegations made just now,
and I do wish the person making them would have the courage to step
forward………….”
He waits.
There is no movement.
“
Obviously
not. Anyway, in the light of these allegations, we have decided
between us, and with the agreement of all……….” he turns to ensure
that all are still agreed “…… that the marriage of Tom and Charlene
cannot proceed as planned…….”
There is a
gasp from the audience all along the aisle.
“
However, Tom
and Charlene and their parents have decided to continue with the
festivities today anyway because even if Tom and Charlene cannot
marry today, or possibly ever, they will always love each other
dearly, and that is something to celebrate too.”
The
congregation is in uproar and so desperate to gossip with one
another that it is barely listening. Everyone is whispering. Some
are openly talking. Several have already abandoned their pews to
leave the church and twitter outside. Robin Marsden fingers the
rings that won't be needed any more.
“
Please
regroup at the village hall,” Simon has to almost shout. “There
will be no line of honour, but there will be champagne.”
I am going to
be really bitchy now, really reprehensible, and really truthful. I
have to say that as weddings, or non-weddings, go, Tom and
Charlie's is absolutely the best I have ever been invited to. The
service turned out to be something worth attending, a drama,
suspense, a near-riot, and only one hymn. I feel sorry for Simon.
He made rather a good, honest speech, I thought. There are no
photographs - the official photographer sheathed his camera
sheepishly, as if he had been caught with his penis outside his
trousers - and there is no great long queue to get to the
champagne.
What would
usually have been dutiful conversations between bored villagers who
have been brought up with each other all their lives, is turning
orgasmic with the scandal, and maybe the threat of more to come.
Most of the children in Hanburgh marry locally, and who knows which
of them are Tom's children?
I am trying to
work out whether Tom would have been amused by developments, or
embarrassed, or totally humbled. I cannot decide. He would
certainly not have wanted the pain of the disclosure to be visited
on his children. However, in the end, Tom and Charlie have found
each other, they will have a child of their own which will probably
be perfectly normal, they have every chance of being very happy
together, and they can always adopt more children if they want to.
A nice Vietnamese baby would be a welcome change in direction for
Hanburgh, don't you think?
Sam James and
her circle are whooping it up, over-heated with the
excitement.
“
So who was
it who split on them?” asks Julie.
“
Beats
me.”
“
I cannot
imagine anyone doing that. It is so unfair.”
“
Where's your
husband then, Sam?” Mich asks.
“
I haven't a
clue,” replies Sam, “but it wasn't him. I was sitting right next to
him.”
“
The voice
was probably a recording,” Melody suggests, “activated
remotely.”
“
Well, I am
sure it was not him. He is never sneaky like that. I cannot imagine
who it might have been. I didn't recognise the voice at all, did
you?”
Everyone is
agreed that the voice did not belong to anyone in Hanburgh whom
they knew.
“
Could it
have been Sally?”
“
What do you
mean? It certainly wasn't Sally's voice.”
“
Yes, but she
could have hired an actor, couldn't she?”
“
Anyone could
have hired an actor. Anyone could have done it.”
“
Except that
it requires some knowledge of how to manage quite complex
electronic equipment, and access to the belfry.”
“
Do you think
it was Simon?”
“
Not the way
he tries to start his car in the morning. We are not talking Mr.
Practical exactly, are we?”
“
Does Sally
know anything about electronics?”
“
Tom did. He
had his own PA system.”
“
That's true.
Do you think it was his voice from beyond the grave, so to speak?
That he and Sally set it up before he died? He knew that Charlie
and young Tom were engaged. He knew that they were related. Perhaps
he had decided to put a stop to it. Come to think of it, it was a
bit like his voice, but disguised by raising the frequency, or
something.”
“
Or it could
have been Sally's voice slowed down.”
“
So Sally
will have set it up. Shall we go and ask her?”
“
We can't at
the moment,” Sam announces. “She is not here. She said she had to
go briefly into town. She'll be back later.”
“
Do you think
she will admit to it?” Mich asks.
“
I doubt it,
but we should ask anyway. It was really cowardly of her to go about
it like that, sneakily. Shame on her. And I don't mind collaring
her about it. I am not afraid of her, whatever her reputation,”
Melody declares. “Nobody shoots the piano player.”
“
You don't
play that well, Mel,” Sam retorts.
“
Well enough
not to get myself shot.”
Frank comes up
to me. “Mary has sent me on an errand. She says are you ignoring
her?”
“
Of course
not, Frank.”
“
In that
case, I have to drag you over.”
I watch Frank
as he leads the way across to Mary, and try to imagine what it
would be like to go to bed with him. He is stocky in his suit. His
trousers are noticeably askew and do not follow the swing of his
buttocks. Something about his shoes tells me that his feet are
probably smelly. That is the first thing I think about when I find
someone physically unappealing, how they will smell, and especially
their feet. I do not relish him inside me. I do not even relish him
in the same sitting room night after night, but I do want Mary, and
to get Mary I may have to be prepared to come to some sort of terms
with Frank too. Life is not making choices easy for any of us. I
sincerely hope that it does not come to that.
“
Hello,
Julia,” Mary greets me radiantly. “I am glad Frank found you. I
have been looking for you everywhere.”
“
Oh, I've
been around.”
“
I was saying
to Frank how we should invite you and Sam and Tony round for dinner
sometime, wasn't I, Frank?”
“
Yes, it
would be very nice,” Frank agrees honestly. “Mary is an astonishing
cook.”
“
She is very
gifted all round,” I add.
“
I am glad
that you appreciate her as I do. We were childhood sweet-hearts,
you know. Still are.”
“
I
know.”
“
Wouldn't
part with her for the world.”
Mary laughs.
“I should hope not, Frank.”
I am trying to
read whether there is a message behind Frank's words. He gives not
the slightest hint, yet he has made a very definite
proclamation.
“
So you are
not going fishing today, Frank?”
“
Maybe later,
Julia. I'll probably sneak off in an hour or so, before they cut
the cake. If they cut the cake.”
“
Shouldn't
think so.”
“
No, probably
not. And what about you, Julia? You must have a fair number of men
after you, if I may make so bold.”
“
Not that I
have noticed.”
“
Surely there
must be somebody in Hanburgh who attracts you.”
“
If there is,
Frank, I am not saying.”
“
Well, I hope
I will be one of the first to know when there is.”
“
But not the
first, Frank.”
Frank colours
up. “No, not the first.”
“
What are you
two on about?” Mary asks. “Are you talking in code?”
“
No, I was
only curious, that is all. With Julia's looks, I am surprised that
there isn't a swarm of men buzzing around her.”
“
Maybe one
day, Frank. I haven't been here in Hanburgh long.”
“
We will have
to try to get you fixed up with someone, before you get into any
mischief.”
“
Come on,
Frank, ease up on the girl. Perhaps Julia is entirely happy as she
is, without being pestered by unwelcome attentions.”
“
Maybe so. Oh
well, you have to have some basis of conversation at a wedding, and
I am not going to start gossiping about what happened in church
just now, and dancing on graves.”
“
Wasn't that
terrible, Julia?” says Mary. “I would never have
guessed.”
“
Now what
have I started after all?” Frank declares. “I am off in search of
more champagne,” and he wanders off.
“
It must have
been such an appalling shock for them. One minute they were
worrying about whether they will get their words out right, and the
next it is all off. It must be absolutely devastating. I cannot
imagine who would be so unkind as to make the
objection.”
“
It had to
come out sooner or later. Talking of the which, do you think Frank
knows about us? He was saying some very odd things.”
“
I was
beginning to wonder myself,” Mary agrees. “It would definitely be
Frank's style to drop big hints before doing anything else, to try
to extort a direct confirmation. He sees it as doing the decent
thing.”
“
We had
better be prepared for a showdown, then.”
“
I still
cannot imagine how things will turn out.”
“
Nor can I,
but we have to try, don't we?”
“
We
do.”
* *
*
Tom and
Charlie return home to come to terms with their new situation. They
sit together in various rooms and console each other for a few
hours, talking it all around indefatigably, until Charlie realises
that there is a plane to catch.
“
Should we
even have a honeymoon?” asks Tom.
“
You must be
bloody joking,” Charlie retorts. “You want us to cancel our trip to
the U.S.? No chance. We go as brother and sister, or as husband and
wife, or as two mates, but we are going!”
Tom jumps up
from the sofa. “All right, then. What do we pack?”
“
We? Me. I've
already packed for both of us. You check we have all the documents
we need.”
“
OK.”
So they fly
off to New York, and bounce around the city for a few days before
driving up to Rhode Island, where they stay in an immaculate blue
and white boarding house close to the harbour.
It is on the
drive across to Rhode Island from New York that they talk
themselves into a solution. We love each other. Better still, we
are brother and sister. We have a child on the way. Nobody is going
to do anything about us being together, anyway they can't except
that they could take the baby away from us possibly, but they
won't. What is the problem?
And they sleep
together again, and after the initial shock of residual guilt it
starts to feel great. Consanguinity meets co-linearity. Not only
are they matched by birth, but also by voluntary lifetime
partnership. If they had been brought up together, they would have
had not the slightest interest in each other. Working it the other
way around, they are very happy.
This is
conjecture on my part of course, but this is how I hope it all
went.
* *
*
Chapter
14
Charlie, who
has been feeling rather sick with her pregnancy, is having a few
days off at home. She hopes that the sickness bares no relation to
the health of the child. Everyone assures her that it doesn't.
During some pregnancies you suffer terribly, during others you are
on cloud nine much of the time. It is like the fact that some
babies are really easy, and others scream the house down
continuously and never sleep. You often get one of each, although
Tom and Charlie will not be aiming for a second. They have
discussed Tom having a vasectomy. They have not decided yet. He is
very young, and what would happen if Charlie died suddenly, or they
broke up? On the other hand, they daren't have Charlie being
pregnant again, unless they leave the village for a while, and
claim that their child is adopted. And then there is the risk of
genetic malformation. You cannot take gambles like that.
The phone
goes.
“
Hello,
Charlie here.”
“
Good
morning, Charlene. This is Mary Knightly speaking.”
“
Good
morning, Mary.”
“
How are
things going?”
“
Excellently,
thank you, Mrs Knightly.”
“
You must
call me Mary.”
“
OK.”
“
I am phoning
to ask when you are planning to leave the house.”