Authors: Paul Watkins
“What did you tell him about the meeting?”
“I didn’t agree to anything. I thought I would talk to you about it and go from there. I have no problem telling him to shove it, but if you think we should meet… then I have no problem with that either.”
“Well, there’s no reason why we would have to meet, if that’s your concern, but perhaps we should and see if there’s something on his mind. Certainly he has no legal ax to grind. That is, there’s nothing we should be concerned about in that regard other than the hassle factor. It might be a good idea to see if there’s anything we can get out of him… otherwise, I wouldn’t worry about it one way or the other. If you want to meet, let’s meet… if you would rather not, then to hell with it.”
A.J. looks at me intently, considering my comments.
“I think I’d rather meet and get it over with. Otherwise I’ll always wonder about it. I’ll call Monte and set it up.”
He walks back to the desk and pulls out a note pad.
“Give me a couple of dates and I’ll see what I cando.”
A.J. knows Monte and he would be the best judge regarding any possible trouble Monte might make for him. It really doesn’t make a lot of difference since we are in no position to control Monte’s actions no matter what we do. We’ll just have to wait and see if anythingcomes of it.
***
Just as I’m about to leave, a phone call comes in for A.J. He holds his hand up for me to wait, so I walk over to the sofa by the fireplace, giving him at least the semblance of some privacy for his conversation. I sit down and review in my mind the various steps we have taken with regard to security around here. There is no need to make anything of it right now, but disgruntled former employees are never to be taken lightly. Monte may be totally harmless, but right now I don’t know that, and when it comes to the security business, we don’t take anything for granted.
There are specific areas of concern we have addressed from day one. First and foremost we have A.J. and his family’s safety and well-being. Then there are financial matters to look after… the money that’s generated by A.J.’s professional and business activities. And finally there are the physical assets… we don’t want anyone stealing cars, burning the house down or defacing any property.
The security team has worked up systems to look after A.J. when he’s on the road. When he’s here in residence, we look after him as a part of the family… all are considered to be equal risks, since one can be used to draw in another. For instance, Sheri or the children could be used to get to A.J. There are all kinds of variations on that theme. Kidnapping is certainly a concern as it has to be with any wealthy family today and we have taken several steps to guard against that possibility. We have all types of electronic detectors monitoring both the outside and inside of the house, and short of turning the place into a fort, we have done a reasonable job of guarding against any bad actors.
As to the money, we have instituted an array of systems and controls that would make it very difficult to steal. In fact, other than A.J., I’m the only one who could lay my hands on any significant amount of cash, and even then I’d have to hit and run. There’s no way I could make a habit of it as Monte did.
I suppose you can never do enough, but unfortunately you don’t find out where the holes are until the day something goes wrong. It’s my job to make certain that day doesn’t happen. Try as I might, for the umteenth time, I can’t think of a thing I would do differently, but I intend to talk to the security guys about this new Monte-wrinkle the first thing in the morning. There may be nothing to it, but they should have some background just in case we have a problem. Any time saved in a crisis could be crucial.
“Phil!” A.J. calls out as he pretends to spike the telephone into the cradle. “My man just came through. Want to have a drink with us while I spring a little surprise on my lovely wife?”
“Sure.”
No one I know loves surprises like A.J. It seems that he spends at least half his waking hours plotting and scheming in one way or another. Normally these things are scheduled around holidays or birthdays, but perhaps this one is going to be different.
“What’s up this time?”
“Ah, it’s no big deal. I have a little trip planned, but I didn’t get confirmation until just now. I won’t waste your time… you can hear about it when I tell Sheri. I think you’ll like it… after all, I got the idea from you.”
“You called?” Sheri asks, peeking in the door. “Karen’s getting ready to leave and … what have you been up to A.J.?”
This is one of the qualities I admire about Sheri’s many fine skills. She has an uncanny sense when it comes to A.J. She can tell almost immediately when he’s up to something and this is another fine demonstration of her strange powers in this regard. I happened to be watching A.J. when Sheri called out and I couldn’t detect any change in his demeanor, but she instinctively knew something was up. Amazing!
“We haven’t been up to anything,” A.J. replies rather formally and a little too quickly… and then seals his fate with, “Have we, Phil?”
Before I can lie for my boss Sheri’s on him like a cat on a ball of yarn.
“Not much you haven’t! Every time you drag Phil into it, you’ve been up to something. Out with it, A.J.!”
“Why do you always think it’s me?” A.J. wails without much effect. “What makes you think Mr. Innocence here isn’t in some kind of shit?”
Mr. Innocence, of course, is me… I guess. One thing about A.J., he’s always willing to share… especially when it’s some form of misery he’s brought upon himself.
“Because when it comes to that, you’re the resident expert, that’s why.”
A.J.’s no dummy and he realizes his only chance for escape is to change the subject or do something dramatic like jumping through the window or faking a heart attack. A real heart attack might be even better.
“Why don’t we all have a drink and relax,” he suggests, ignoring Sheri’s glare. “It’s been a long day and it’s almost the bewitching hour.”
“Bullshit hour would be more like it,” Sheri rejoins.
“I think I really should go,” Karen interrupts without much conviction in her voice. She has sort of been forgotten in the melee.
“Oh, Karen,” Sheri exclaims turning and extending her arms toward her. “Don’t go. Stay and have a drink with us. Do you have to go back now? I know one minute we’re talking about leaving and the next staying, but I really didn’t think they would be finished so soon.”
“Well, I don’t have to be back for any specific reason, but I hate driving alone late at night. So I’d rather go now than…”
“Then don’t go at all,” Sheri pleads. “You can leave in the morning. It’s so pleasant when I have someone nice like you to talk to… you have no idea how terrible it is to be around these two all the time.”
This comment brings mixed reactions from the various listeners. Karen a slight smile, A.J. an exaggerated frown, and I struggle to remain impassive.
“I haven’t heard anything from the men yet,” Karen says with a smile. “One man in particular.”
The last is directed to me and all eyes follow the bouncing ball.
“Don’t look at me,” I reply, “I just work here. I couldn’t ask you to stay if I wanted to, which I do, of course… but I can’t, so I won’t.”
How’s that for obfuscation? Anyone who can talk like that on short notice should learn to slither, or at least become a politician. Hell, I think I could run for office on that little demonstration alone.
“What?” Sheri asks in disbelief.
“Bravo!” A.J. cheers clapping his hands. “What a slippery bastard. It’s really a joy to watch a master at work.”
I offer A.J. a slight bow to acknowledge the accolade.
“Shut up, A.J.!” Sheri commands. “We don’t need your two cents. Go pour the wine and make yourself useful.”
A.J., in turn, bows his head and quickly heads towards the bar, out of harm’s way.
“Would you like me to stay or not?” Karen asks.
“What do you mean you can’t ask her to stay… that you just work here?” Sheri adds.
A.J. is having trouble keeping a straight face as he goes to work on the wine cork. Talk about slippery! A.J. has slipped the noose and now he’s more than happy to watch me pick up the rope and loop it around my neck. I ignore Karen and decide to reply to Sheri’s question by ignoring that, too.
“I’m more interested in Sheri’s ability to tell when A.J. is up to something,” I reply looking towards the bar and seeing A.J.’s head snap my way. Christ, this is worse than high school. “It’s obvious he’s up to something, but I have to confess, I have no idea what it could be.”
Sheri nods her head in apparent acceptance of my innocence and then turns and puts her arm around Karen’s shoulder and directs her to the bar.
“Karen, I want you to know you are welcome here anytime,” she begins, “including tonight. If I’m not around, just set it up with Phil.” And without skipping a beat, “Out with it, A.J.”
A.J. shakes his head in dismay. “I don’t understand this at all. We have been working hard all day and this is my reward. My own wife, the woman I love and cherish, accuses me of some kind of malfeasance. A lesser man would be hurt… perhaps mortally. Certainly a psychological impact that would last a lifetime… or more.”
Sheri takes her wine and turns her back on A.J. with a look of disgust.
“Turkeys aren’t the only things that are stuffed… you’re so full of it, A.J.”
A.J. ignores the compliment and leads the way to the fireplace and the sofas.
“This is a perfect night for a fire. I’ll call Ned.”
I wave him off. “No need for that,” I say with confidence that will probably prove to be both misplaced and undeserved. “I’ll take care of it.”
Large logs are always stacked on the grate ready for a fire. The only thing needed is some kindling which we keep in the wood rack next to the fire-box. This is a large fireplace and it can take a lot of wood. It doesn’t take long to arrange the kindling and get things going. Of course I cheat and use the dry fire starter material we keep on hand and a few moments later a small flame begins its attack on the miniature tent-like structure I’ve built beneath the logs. A slight adjustment of the flue and we’re ready for the evening.
“How long?” A.J. asks.
I give him my professional boy scout merit badge holder opinion.
“One drink to get it started and one drink to watch the best part of the flames. It’s a two-drink fire. If we throw more wood on we’re in trouble. Of course, if you drink more than two of those,” I gesture towards A.J.’s martini, he’s the only one not drinking wine, “then you’re in trouble anyway.”
“He’s already in trouble,” interjects Sheri. “If he doesn’t come clean on what you two have been up to today, there’s going to be some real fireworks. Come on, A.J., out with it!”
A.J.’s eyes dart back and forth between Sheri and me, the only betrayal of the battle raging within. Should he come clean or not? If not now, when? How long can he drag this out without risking more serious consequences?
Karen takes a sip of her drink to mask the small smile that drifts across her face. I think she realizes this is one of the ways the Jacksons communicate. Mock battles, strident tones, A.J.’s tormented countenance… all play-acting on the square, but it gets the job done. There’s no question in anyone’s mind as to what’s being said. A.J. knows he has to ‘fess up’, but he’s taking his time getting around to it. Part of the problem is that he has trouble dealing with the fact that he’s so transparent to Sheri. She knows him like a book and he knows she knows.
“Good grief!” A.J. shakes his head once again with resignation. “You’re relentless. I told you, we have nothing to say. We haven’t been up to anything.” And once again he shoots himself in the foot. “Have we, Phil?”
My role in all this nonsense is easy. I really don’t know what’s going on except for the fact that Sheri’s right… he is up to something, but that’s all I know. A.J.’s clue that I was somehow the inspiration for whatever trip he has planned didn’t help at all. I have no idea what he has in mind.
Sheri narrows her eyes. “A.J.,” she continues with menace in her voice, “this is your last chance. If you don’t come out with it, you’ll regret it. And don’t ask Phil for help. He said before, he thinks you’re concocting some scheme. He said he doesn’t know what it is and I believe him.”
A.J. gives me a dirty look and then pretends to study his drink, but he can’t keep a straight face. His timing is always good and he knows it’s time to deliver.
“Okay, I’ll come clean,” A.J. says with a smile. “I have a little surprise for you… we’re going to take a trip tomorrow… everything’s arranged. All we have to do is pack and go.”
“Tomorrow!” Sheri exclaims. “Who’re we? Where?”
“Hold on, hold on,” A.J. says holding up his hands and laughing. “We are us. You and I are going. Where is Canada. We’re going to visit Toronto, Ottawa and Montreal. We’ll spend a day or two in each city and see the sights. I’ve blocked out some time in my schedule, so we can take all the time we want. We can see a play in Toronto if you like. We’ll just take it easy, no schedule, nothing we have to do or not do. Phil says they’re all great towns and I’ve never been to any of them… you haven’t either, have you? Wouldn’t it be fun to just drop everything and go?”
Karen and I watch Sheri as she takes all this in. While she has been smiling throughout A.J.’s confession/surprise, she suddenly beams with inspiration.
“I think it’s a great idea!”
She leans over and throws her arms around A.J. He gives me a big stage wink over her shoulder. Ol’ luck-butt has just experienced another successful moment in the marital free-fall that is A.J.’s.
Sheri disengages herself from A.J. and turns to us.
“Isn’t it great? We can all go. We’ll make it a party. These trips are always better when you have someone to share it with. Will you go with us?”
I don’t know about Karen, but I’m not quite certain how this landed on my doorstep.
“Ah, I’m pretty busy right now, Sheri,” I begin. “I…”
“Stop it, Philip!” Sheri admonishes me with a stern look. “I don’t care what you’re doing… you can take a few days off and vacation with us. A.J., tell him to stop it.”