Little Wolf (32 page)

It was as though Nathaniel knew exactly what Uncle Silas had to say about the attempted extermination of werewolves by the humans and the surviving werewolf families. Perhaps he’d heard it before.

“Brute force is nice, though, when you need it,” Tim remarked after mulling over the history lesson.

Nathaniel made a noise, a gentle sort of scoff. “You just like my muscles.”

“Fuck is
that
true.” Agreement rushed out of Tim, though he should have known better. Too late to hide it anyway. “That’s not all I like,” he added cautiously, then turned to the window once again. “You don’t find that weak either? Really?” Having a hard-on for an alpha wolf might be normal according to Nathaniel, but it felt like a dirty secret, something Luca would smirk about while crowding Tim into a wall.

“There’s nothing weak in wanting what you want.” Nathaniel wouldn’t crowd anyone into a wall. They might push themselves against a wall if it meant he’d jump them, but he wouldn’t push them. He was even waiting for someone to push into him a little bit.

Tim was a Dirus. He should be the one doing the taking. He should
want
to be doing the taking. He sighed dejectedly. “But I’m like everyone else around you.”

Nathaniel briefly turned toward him. “No, you aren’t.” He frowned. “You don’t see it, do you? You are
rude
, Little Wolf, which was a revelation in itself. Except for out of control tourists, no one has been rude to me in years. I’m not saying I like it, and you’ve mellowed a little—a little—since you’ve been staying with me.” Smug pride looked good on Nathaniel too. “But amid all the insults you almost immediately apologize for, you talk to me. You talk with me. Well, when you calm down from whatever has upset you, you talk. I don’t think you realize….” Nathaniel paused. “I don’t think you realize what that’s like.”

“No one talks with you,” Tim realized out loud, thinking of Uncle Silas and his library, the conversations they’d had. People talked to Nathaniel, certainly, but about work and the town, or sex. They didn’t sit down to hear stories about his high school experience. They probably didn’t think of Nathaniel as having ever gone to high school. Tim hadn’t, until now. “They only see the sheriff.” Tim ducked his head for having done the same. Of all weres, Tim should have known better. “Are they scared or just horny?”

“Both maybe.” Nathaniel looked over again and scratched his nose. “You’re certainly both. But you’ve faced bigger, badder wolves than me, or so you’ve said. Maybe that’s why you snap back at me. Why you look me in the eye and talk. You even listen when you forget to pretend that you aren’t.”

Tim gazed at him incredulously as they got closer to the cabin. He’d thought the “take off our clothes and shift into wolves” would have been the most revealing part of the day, but this was far more mind-blowing. Being a wolf, despite his fears, had felt natural.

“How old were you?” he wondered suddenly but knew the answer from things he’d overheard at the café. Nathaniel had been sheriff for about five years. Twenty-five was young to be running anything, much less a town of other weres. “Probably barely twenty-five. You overachiever in tight pants,” he teased, slightly breathless. “You were a chess champion, weren’t you? There wasn’t anyone on your level then, and there isn’t now. I should have given you something bigger than a rabbit.”

“You think so?” Nathaniel was careful as they pulled up. “You might find chess impressive, but trust me, most people don’t.”

“What happened?” Tim sat up, scowling as scenarios ran through his mind, scenes of a nervous, awkward teenage Nathaniel.
Eager to impress older weres
, Nathaniel had said before, truth in his voice. “What happened when you were my age and you finally filled out?”

The faint smile on Nathaniel’s face disappeared. “It was a long time ago.”

“Not that long ago.” Tim crossed his arms.

“Longer than I’d like.” Nathaniel made a face. Tim made one back at him and snorted for good measure. “Don’t look at me like that,” Nathaniel warned. “It isn’t just the ten years’ difference. It’s more of a matter of experience.”

Tim didn’t move, although Nathaniel killed the engine.

Nathaniel yanked out the keys with more force than necessary but returned them to his pocket with his control once again in place. “Almost all weres go through crushes on older, stronger wolves,” he began, his tone abrupt and unhappy. “I did too. And I was desperate by then. Now, of course, I realize that I was starting to look like this and he was enjoying my infatuation, the attention. I was too young and stupid to know better. I thought it was more, and he let me think that.” Nathaniel worked his jaw, then turned to Tim. “I grew up knowing this about weres, and I still fell for it. And then when I was older and stronger—”

“After you took over the town, you mean,” Tim interrupted.

Nathaniel shook his head. “Even before then, after I became a deputy. It took me a while to realize that people had those crushes on me. They’re natural, but they’re crushes. People desire to please their leaders, but they don’t always understand that’s all it is.”

Luca would have relished having so many weres wanting to please him. Nathaniel had a pained sound in his voice, like the realization had hurt him. “It’s one of the reasons I take the customs of this town so seriously. Do you understand now?”

Tim didn’t, not everything, but he waited a moment and then swallowed. “I’m sorry I called you a princess before,” he said with dignity. Nathaniel was sitting straight and silent at the other end of the bench seat. Tim had a baffling urge to bite him, not in a mean way or even to leave a hickey. He wanted to nip at him. He wanted to make him smile, and now there was a force inside him that didn’t feel like being denied anymore that was practically demanding he do it. “Not that you wouldn’t make a good princess. You are regal as shit, Neri,” he offered, trying to make Nathaniel smile.

“Regal.” Nathaniel considered him in the darkness. Tim couldn’t tell if he understood what Tim was trying to do, until he spoke. “And here I would have described you as imperious, if you had asked me. You won’t, because you think you know what you are, but I could go on without any prompting, and after today I don’t feel like waiting. You make a beautiful wolf, Tim. And even when you aren’t, you are still beautiful. Though fiery is a better word. You are startling in your everyday ferocity. Crackling.” He was so serious Tim couldn’t even speak. Nathaniel crooked a smile. “Hmm, I got you quiet again. I’m getting good at this.”

He’d given Tim a nip in return. “You are
evil
,” Tim breathed at him, impressed despite himself. “I hate your
face
.” Between this and the chess, Tim was in awe. His uncle hadn’t prepared him for this, but nothing could have. “You aren’t a noble alpha sheriff. If only people knew.” But of course people didn’t know. Carl or Robin’s Egg might suspect, but Carl paid attention and Robin’s Egg was fairy, and fairies saw the truth. Zoe knew some of it, the dorky romantic movies, but not everything. Nathaniel still took care with her. For Zoe, Nathaniel had to remain a leader.

Nathaniel took care with Tim too, but not that much. He’d been careful for months, but he’d gotten less and less cautious as time had gone on, as Tim had let him get closer. “You tease me.” Tim frowned thoughtfully.

“Maybe you’re the only one who teases back,” Nathaniel suggested after a few moments.

Tim considered him in the dark that hid nothing. Nathaniel had already seen most of him today. No point in looking away. “I grew up with a were more powerful than any other were you might meet.” Tim started to bite his lip. “I used to debate him during breakfast, then go to my lessons, then beat him at chess after dinner.” The list of weres more powerful than someone like Nathaniel was short. Nathaniel could try to guess, but he was listening, waiting. Tim gave him a tiny smile. “I suppose he was more a follower of the old ways you talked about. Compared to him, you’re a marshmallow.”

Uncle Silas had prepared Tim for everything but actually dealing with other weres. Tim still didn’t understand, but he was going to. Enough time in this town and Tim was going to know everything.

He came back to Nathaniel. “You aren’t bad as a wolf either,” Tim declared boldly, then pushed open the door and slipped from the truck. Landing on two feet still felt off, but he shut the door and headed to the porch, noting the lights were off in the house, which meant Zoe probably wasn’t home. He stopped on the top step to listen to Nathaniel following after him. “But frankly, at the moment, I’m more interested in your chessboard.”

“My Saturday nights tend to fill up around tourist season,” Nathaniel commented, making Tim turn to glare at him before he realized Nathaniel meant he worked on Saturday nights. “But we could play tomorrow evening, before I go. Or now, if you aren’t too tired from your puppy run.”

He was teasing again, but Tim froze, a knot forming in his stomach. He had no reason to feel guilty, but he moved aside to let Nathaniel on the porch and then stepped away. His heart was hammering, so it was no good attempting to lie. “I have plans tomorrow,” Tim admitted, then lifted his chin. It was Nathaniel’s fault he had plans. “Work. Obviously. Then later….” His mouth was so dry, blood and water distant memories. “Later, after work, the baby wolves invited me to the Meadows. Like you told me to—I said maybe, which they took as a yes after so many nos. I don’t have to go. It’s a stupid idea anyway. I’m not a teenager, even if your high school experience sucked and I get the point of your story. And just…
Albert
.” Albert wanted something from Tim. Tim had only the vaguest idea what that was, and when Albert realized that, he was going to laugh. “It’s going to be embarrassing. I don’t need to go.”

Tim made himself shut up. The scent was on his tongue, in his nostrils, in his lungs, seeping into his blood, lush and raw. It spoke of lust and jealousy. It hurt to even be near it, and yet Tim tried to wet his parched lips before inching closer to Nathaniel. He had done that. He could have done more, gone for the throat. He should have. Nathaniel had pushed him at Albert for Tim’s own good despite his jealousy. But, oh, that jealousy. Tim hated everything about it, yet it sent his heart racing. “Although Albert
is
pretty,” he added, curling his hands at his sides when Nathaniel narrowed his eyes.

The scent was getting stronger. Tim considered it and his every lupine urge to fell Nathaniel and draw more blood. “Do you want to tell me not to go?”

Nathaniel’s chest was heaving. Tim somehow hadn’t noticed that, or the heat coming from him, which might have been part of his scent too. Tim thought of Nathaniel as cool and sparkling most of the time, but he was always that fire underneath.

“Yes,” Nathaniel told him, then clenched his jaw and moved away. “But I’m not going to.” Tim opened his mouth, and Nathaniel shot him a look. “What would you do if I did?” Nathaniel demanded in a growl that said he knew the answer.

Tim blinked at him. “I’d go. Fuck you, Neri, you’re not the boss of me.” He wasn’t a child, really.

Nathaniel turned to face the door and pushed out a long breath. He seemed as tired as Tim felt, more tired than Tim had felt the morning after the last full moon with every ounce of spunk in his body spent and his mind reeling from dreams of Nathaniel.

“This isn’t cheating,” Tim argued fiercely with the silence, although he had no idea about cheating or relationships. “If you don’t want me dating anyone else, you should have—oh shit, this was a date.” Tim dropped onto his heels. Nathaniel had changed his clothes. Tim had provided dinner. It had been a date. “I went on a date with you.
I
”—he put his hand to his chest—“went on a date”—he waved at Nathaniel—“with
you
. We were naked, and I… you didn’t tell me. You should know by now, you can’t assume I know. I have no idea about anything useful.” The cold ball in his stomach uncurled and shivered up his spine. Instead of a sick feeling, there was a fluttering in his chest that had nothing to do with his heartbeat and everything to do with butterflies. Tim raised his head. “Don’t dates usually end with a kiss?” he finished, because fuck nerves, he’d had a
date
, a date with
Nathaniel Neri
. He wanted more.

“That isn’t fair,” Nathaniel ground out, husky-voiced and furious, but then he moved. He pinned Tim against the wall with Tim’s feet off the ground before Tim could do more than gasp his surprise. Nathaniel slid a knee between his legs while Tim was still scrabbling for a better hold on his shoulders, and then he held Tim there, with his hands at Tim’s face and his body a hot, familiar weight. Tim thought about lightning again, distantly, distractedly, before he realized he had called this down on himself. Then Nathaniel slid his hands to Tim’s shoulders, down his arms, until his fingers were around Tim’s wrists. Tim stared up at him, stunned, and Nathaniel frowned as if Tim had done something horribly wrong. Tim shook his head, because if Nathaniel thought so, then Tim must have done something a real were would not have done.

Nathaniel frowned deeper, removing his hands from Tim only to immediately bring them back to cup his jaw and tilt Tim’s head up. Tim opened his mouth, and Nathaniel kissed him, with his scent wounded and metallic, his breathing labored. Nathaniel kissed Tim as if it would have hurt him not to.

Tim dragged the pads of his fingers across Nathaniel’s skin, clutching tight when Nathaniel groaned and pushed forward. Tim didn’t mind the wall or the leg between his as his dick got hard, but that groan spiked hot in his stomach and compelled him to answer. He pushed back, nearly dying at being so confined by his pants, by Nathaniel’s heat, at being aroused and able to move only a little, but almost enough, right there against Nathaniel’s thigh.

Hunger
. So much of it. On his tongue, in the air, shaking between them. Tim yanked handfuls of Nathaniel’s hair to pull him closer. He was going to come, sharp and fast and unsatisfying. Even knowing that, he couldn’t stop. Nathaniel eased Tim against the door and panted against his mouth, his thumb resting on the fullness of Tim’s lower lip, as if marking his place. Tim left his lips parted to inhale Nathaniel’s every rasping breath and stretched up to meet him when Nathaniel slid their mouths together again. The scent of Nathaniel’s desire echoed with pain, and still Tim was going to come. That would hurt like this, and Tim whimpered without releasing Nathaniel, and hitched one leg up, accepting the pain because he had drawn blood first.