Live-In Position (38 page)

Oddly enough, it was turning me on. The stern ordering tone he used sent goose bumps across my skin. I shook the thought off, rolling to get off the bed. Long strong fingers wrapped around my thigh. Looking up to him in surprise, he shook his head. I smiled and pulled his hand away. He frowned while I hurried to dress.

“I understand…I will meet you there tomorrow…How soon can we arrange the mediation?”

Sitting on the bed with my back against the headboard and Collin at my feet, I waited for him to finish his call.

“Of course…Obviously I want it as quickly as possible…Let me know…Goodbye.”

“Everything okay?”

He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

“He’s going to meet me at the police station tomorrow and then he’ll begin filing the motion to address the current circumstances.” Collin tossed his phone onto the side table and turned his body toward me. A grin spread over his face, and his cool emeralds blazed. “I didn’t want you to get dressed.”

“You weren’t the one damp and naked. It was a little chilly,” I rebutted. He began to crawl up my body.

“Hmmm…only damp?” He paused. “I would have guaranteed you were wet.”

My mouth fell open. This naughty side to him was definitely intriguing. I wanted him, but there was also something important I wanted to discuss. My body pulsed when he pulled me down flat on the bed.

“Collin?” The tenor of my voice must have given away the seriousness of my next statement because the grin fell from his face.

“So help me god, Sophia, if you are going to call us a mistake or tell me how wrong this is, I will strangle you with my bare hands.” His icy nature emerged and while I knew he wouldn’t really strangle me, a part of me cowered in fear.

“No, it’s not that. I mean, I still question…” The hard angry look on his face deterred me from finishing that sentence. “Anyhow, I was wondering, where was the court-appointed chaperone that was supposed to be with Grace and Victoria? Wasn’t she there?”

Collin moved onto his right side, propping his head up on his hand. He pulled me against his chest.

“We are looking into that now. I suppose I could ask Victoria about it tomorrow. She was there when I left Victoria with Grace, but it’s something that bothers me as well.” His left hand was rubbing from my hip to the side of my breast and back. The rotation was causing a throbbing ache between my thighs.

“You don’t think Grace did something to her, do you?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t like this situation at all.” Suddenly he rolled to his back. “How could she just leave her? Why is it that she can just walk away without a care of who gets hurt?”

The current situation was his disguise, but, deep down, we both knew he was referring to both Victoria and him. My heart was conflicted between pity that he had to relive Grace’s abandonment again and the unreasonable jealousy that she still affected him. Of course, guilt also made an appearance because I knew I shouldn’t feel jealous. Grace was, after all, his first love, Victoria’s mother, and someone who had hurt him deeply. I was pretty sure he no longer loved her, but his hurt still prevailed.

Not knowing what words to say, I could only offer compassion. Slipping my arms around him, I pulled him to my chest. No more words were spoken. We simply lay in silence until sleep claimed us.

THREE DAYS HAD passed since that horrid Sunday. Dr. Bishop was either working or tending to legal matters. There was still no date set for the mediation, and he wanted quicker results. Victoria was back in the routine of school and after-school activities.

With no immediate errands to run, I sat in the waiting area at the dance studio, listening to women discuss their lives. One woman’s eldest daughter was going to Yale next year, another woman was getting a face-lift, and a third was going to be a grandmother. The grandmother statement stuck with me. Then suddenly something slammed into me.

My period, oh god, I missed my period. Wait, did I? When was I due again?

My hands fumbled as I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, and it fell loudly onto the floor. The group of women gave me a look of annoyance when the “F-word” slipped from my lips. Once my hands were stable, I pulled up the calendar and started counting.

Oh dear Antichrist! Two days. Instantly, I felt nauseous. I groaned. I was an idiot. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

“Are you sick?” The sound of Victoria’s voice brought my head back up. I forced a smile.

“You done already?”

She nodded but looked at me curiously. Taking her hand, I practically dragged her to the car. The drive home was interesting. Victoria seemed to be in her own little universe in the back seat while I swore every person walking down the street was holding a baby, pushing a stroller, or had a very large baby bump. The urge to pull over at every pharmacy we passed was too great, but how would I explain it to Victoria? I forced myself to go straight to the house and resigned that I would take care of everything tomorrow.

It was fine. It would all be fine. I was overreacting. I mean, it was only a couple of days. It’s not as if I’d never been late before. I had, right?

I was antsy and distracted for the rest of the day. Barely able to think straight, I couldn’t even cook. I decided pizza was the best option for dinner.

If there was ever a night I wished Collin was working or away on business, it was tonight. However, since God now shunned me for cavorting with his arch nemesis, Collin got home just when the pizza arrived. He no longer hid any type of affection between us. Pulling me in to kiss him after he walked through the door with Victoria watching was nothing new. But what he didn’t know was that my mind was still on “Code No Flow” alert.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded and walked away.

Pull yourself together before you get Victoria’s hopes up and Collin…oh damn, what would he do or say?

“Sophia?” The heat of his hand on my shoulder pulled me out of my troubled mind.

“Yeah,” I spit out too quickly. He eyed me suspiciously.

“She’s been like that all day.” Victoria sounded annoyed as she climbed up on a barstool.

“Are you not feeling well?” Collin was immediately concerned, searching my face and body for injury or signs of illness.

“I’m fine,” I waved them both off. I hadn’t sounded as believable as I had hoped. “Just a little tired,” I tacked on for good measure.

I went about getting plates and cups, drinks poured, and pizza served. All of this was done under the scrutinizing stare of Dr. Bishop.

Once everyone was finished eating I took my time cleaning up. Victoria went to take a shower and get her pajamas on.

“What’s going on?” His hard tone caused a shiver against my spine.

“Nothing, I’m just tired.” I shrugged and didn’t dare look at him.

“Don’t lie to me.”

Although I hadn’t heard that tone in quite some time, I remembered it well. He was angry and demanding. It was like an arctic blast against my back. But I couldn’t tell him, not until I was sure. With a deep breath I faced him.

“I’m tired. Maybe I am coming down with something.” I shrugged.

Yeah, you’re coming down with a pregnancy.

Eyeing me for a brief moment, he walked away stiffly. He wasn’t buying it, and I was dreading being alone with him. A coward, I was a coward.

That night I stayed with Victoria in her room reading her a story about mermaids. About three chapters in, she fell asleep. With a sigh, I left her to sleep and went to my own room.

Pulling my nightshirt down my body, I felt his presence in the room. Without saying a word I walked into the bathroom. Once my face was washed and my hair and teeth were brushed, I stepped back into my bedroom. He sat at the edge of my bed looking at me with familiar intensity.

“Are you ready to be honest with me now?” His manner almost made me stiffen.

“It’s nothing,” I shook my head and made my way to my bed. As I pulled back the blanket, he grabbed my hand.

“Please, Sophia.”

My heart fluttered with ache at the sound of his appeal. “I’m late,” I mumbled and climbed into bed.

“What do you mean you’re—” he paused as realization crept over his face. I covered myself with the blanket and groaned. The blanket suddenly slipped from my fingers, and I closed my eyes tightly.

“Are you sure?” His eyes were interrogating.

“Am I sure that I’m late? Yes.” I threw my arm over my face.

“So, you aren’t sure you’re pregnant?”

“No. I’ll handle it tomorrow.” My voice had fallen into a shaky whisper.

“Why didn’t you come to me?” His fingers wrapped around my arm and pulled it from my face. I kept my eyes closed.

“Because I wasn’t sure. There’s no need to worry you about it until I have a definite something for you to worry about.”

“Look at me.”

I refused.

“Look at me.”

He meant business now so I opened my eyes.

“You should have come to me.”

“Why? So you can worry about something that may not even be an issue? That’s stupid. I’m not going to concern you about a mistake you –”

The deep scowl that formed on his face ceased my words. “Mistake?” he growled. “You believe my child would be a mistake?”

“Th-that’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean, Sophia, because it sounded like you said mistake to me?” The way he glowered at me sent fear through my body.

“My being pregnant wouldn’t exactly be a good thing, Collin. The whole thing would be a mistake, but not the way you are taking it.” I’d meant for my words to have more conviction, but the look on his face was really shaking me.

“We’ll take care of this now.” He stood and walked toward my door.

“What are you—”

“I’ll be back.” His cold tone cut me off.

With the sound of my door closing, there was no holding back the tears. Burying my face into my pillow to muffle my cries, my body jerked.

I was still buried in the down softness when my door opened again. His soft footsteps were the telltale sign he was in my room and next to my bed. He cleared his throat, and with a roll of my eyes I pulled the blanket down.

“Here.”

In his hand was a plastic white stick I planned to purchase tomorrow after taking Victoria to school. Glancing up at him, his face had softened. He knelt down beside the bed and cupped my cheek.

“I apologize for my reaction. It’s just…would it be so terrible to have my child?” His eyes searched my face. Slowly I sat up to the edge of the bed.

“Collin, a baby would not be a good idea. Not for me, not now. It was never because it would be yours.” Both of my hands grabbed his face and looked into his eyes.

“I would be happy.” His words were just a breath and my stomach knotted.

Part of me rejoiced in the fact he would indeed want me and the baby – if there was one. The other part of me was concerned that if there wasn’t a baby, he would want one. Rather than linger too long on the last thought, I took the test from his hand and headed to the bathroom.