Live In Position (9 page)

She bounced into the kitchen looking around the typically unused kitchen table where I had everything laid out. "What's all of this?" She smiled and hurried to my side.

"We are making cookies." I placed a large bowl and measuring cups in front of her.

"I get to help?" She peeked into the empty bowl.

"Well, I can't do it all by myself." I playfully rolled my eyes at her.

I set up the cookbook and she read the instructions to me. Then I had her measure out the amounts needed for each ingredient. When she got to dump them into the bowl we would make different 'dumping' noises and giggle.

First, we made oatmeal raisin. Second were chocolate chip. Third, we made peanut butter blossoms. Finally, we made the roll out sugar cookies we could decorate. Mrs. Baker had entered the room during our cut out cookies and sat at the table with us. She became our official cookie dough roller, while Victoria was the official cookie cutter and decorator, and I placed them on the cookie sheets and kept an eye on them while they baked.

Everyone was looking pretty floury. I had pulled Victoria's hair up into a ponytail, Mrs. Baker always wore her hair in a tight bun, and I had pulled my hair back into a low knot at the back of my head. All of us had flour or sugar swiped on our faces, cookie dough under our fingernails, and was laughing at each other's appearance.

In the midst of our happy moment the snow miser decided to make an appearance. He stepped into the room and our giggles died down to whispered snorts. I watched him take in the large mess on and around the table.

"What's this?" He asked in his chilled tone.

"We're making Christmas cookies!" Victoria said cheerfully as she stuck her tongue out and pressed the tree cutter into the dough Mrs. Baker had rolled out to the perfect thickness.

"Oh, Collin, my boy, you should see her. She's quite the little cookie cutter professional." Mrs. Baker chuckled out as she watched Victoria.

"Yes" He said coolly and walked around the table. Standing only two feet away from me, he turned his cold eyes onto me. "What about her Spanish lesson? Or have you taken that upon yourself to change as well?"

My mouth gaped open for a moment and then I closed it and straightened myself up.

"Roberto is in Spain until the New Year. So, he cancelled the lessons until his return. I put the note about the change into the mail slot on your office door." My tone was borderline angry and I knew I needed to calm myself. Right at that moment the oven timer alerted me the cookies were done. I turned to take them from the oven.

"What educational value does making cookies hold?" He quipped as my back was turned.

I slid the hot cookie tray onto the top of the stove a little roughly and spun around.

"Fractions." I narrowed my eyes on him.

"Fractions?" I swear he almost rolled his eyes.

"Yes, fractions and measurements" I crossed my arms over my chest. "Plus she is practicing reading when she was reading from the recipe book." I raised a brow at him actually hoping this time he would continue to battle this one out with me.

I realized both Victoria and Mrs. Baker had grown very quiet and still, their eyes flicking back and forth between Dr. Bishop and myself as we had out staring standoff. For one moment he seemed flustered before he pulled himself together and grumbled as he walked out of the kitchen. I sighed in frustration and turned back to Victoria and Mrs. Baker.

"You alright dear?" Mrs. Baker lightly rubbed my arm.

I nodded.

"Yes" I breathed out. "I just don't get why he is so…Argh!" I growled. After taking a deep breath I turned to Victoria. "Hey why don't you go upstairs and get washed up. I'll clean up the mess down here, okay?" She nodded and ran off. I turned my attention back to Mrs. Baker. "Please help me understand him before I douse him in Holy Water?"

She burst into laughter. "Dear, I wish I could help you, but I'm afraid I don't completely understand him myself. Just know he wasn't always this way. It has a lot to do with Victoria's mother." She sighed and patted my hand. "She left him, just up and left him and Victoria. Now, I don't know the whole story, I just know she left and it crushed him."

"But why take that out on Victoria?" I begged to understand.

"Honey, when you look at Victoria, do you see Collin?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

"I-I don't know…what are you saying?" I furrowed my brow.

She pressed her lips together tightly before speaking. "She looks just like her mother. When he sees her he sees the woman that walked away from them."

"That's not Victoria's fault. She's his daughter. He doesn't have to be so cold and calculating with her."

"You and I know that, but he can't seem to be any other way." She scooted her chair back and stood. "Come with me."

I followed Mrs. Baker to a closet in the dining room. She took out a key and unlocked the door. What I thought was a closet was actually a small room.

"This is supposed to be for holding dinnerware and silver, etc. However, this is where he keeps all of her things." Mrs. Baker reached into a drawer and pulled out a picture, holding out for me to look at.

There stood a smiling Dr. Bishop. He looked much younger and in his arms was a slender, beautiful woman. Victoria was almost her clone. Her hair, face shape, skin tone, it was all like her mothers.

"That is Grace, Victoria's mother." I nodded in understanding. "They fell in love when he was at medical school. Victoria was definitely a surprise to both of them, but they decided to keep her. They were going to marry around Victoria's second birthday, but Grace left. She just disappeared one day. I don't know what happened, but I do know after that he was very different."

I handed her back the picture. We headed back to the kitchen and started cleaning up.

"Why does he keep all of her things? Shouldn't he give some things to Victoria and get rid of the rest, or does he think she is coming back?"

Mrs. Baker sighed.

"Honestly, my opinion is he hopes she will come back to him." I nodded and we finished cleaning in silence.

Truly, I felt bad for Dr. Bishop. I really did. Though I still didn't see how he could shut his own flesh and blood out of his life and treat her as no more than furniture. I was still lost in my thoughts about everything I had just been told as I climbed the stairs. My foot slipped from the final step and I grabbed for the banister as my body lost the battle with gravity. Suddenly, two arms were wrapped around my waist and pulling me into a standing position. I blinked a couple of times before turning my head to see Dr. Bishop staring back at me.

"Th-thank you," I stuttered out, still a little shaken from my almost fall.

He didn't say anything, only stared into my eyes, which flickered around to different spots on my face. His arms were still around my waist and I started to feel an odd sense of comfort. I shook it off and pushed back from him. Dr. Bishop seemed to snap out of the trance he was in.

"I apologize." He turned with clenched fists and headed toward his room.

Trying to understand what Mrs. Baker had told me and then process what had just happened with Dr. Bishop, my brain put up a white flag in surrender. I decided not to think about it any longer. Instead I headed toward Victoria's room to see if she was all cleaned up before going to my own room to get ready for bed.

That night was the first night dreams of comforting arms, cold green eyes, and caressing touches infiltrated my dreams. I blame the cookie dough eaten the night before.

Chapter Six

Christmas was rapidly approaching and things had started to get a little hectic. Victoria may not have had Spanish, but her Piano instructor decided to take the hour on those 'off' Fridays to prepare her for the recital he put on each holiday season. Then there was the school Holiday Party and Play.

The school play was the Nutcracker and Victoria had a part as a snowflake. Her costume was absolutely freaking adorable and when she said the few lines she had, I couldn't help but giggle. She was priceless. The school had sent a flyer home about the date and time of the play so I put it in Dr. Bishop's office mail box, along with the information about the piano recital.

Since I was such a super volunteer, I signed up to help with the Holiday Party at St. Johns Prep. So, when I received a letter from Victoria's teacher stating I would be required to attend the party as a helper and was assigned to bring in cupcakes, fifty of them, the time needed to make them flashed through my head.

"Fifty cupcakes," I exclaimed.

Victoria looked up from her homework with confusion on her face.

"Do you have fifty kids in your class?" I gasped out.

She shook her head. "No, our party is for the whole first grade, so it's a lot." I nodded dumbfounded. She put her head back down and worked on her homework. I sighed and pulled out some recipe books, trying to figure out which to make and if I needed to make a grocery run.

A few days passed and it was time to prepare the cupcakes. After Victoria was tucked into her bed, I spent my Wednesday evening baking cupcakes, waiting for them to cool, and then squeezing icing onto them. Okay, so I cheated and bought the
readymade icing in the tubes and then just sprinkle the holiday shaped candies on top. It was fifty freaking cupcakes for god's sake.

Making, baking, and decorating cupcakes seemed more difficult when there was so many. The heat from the oven and moving around the kitchen finally caught up to me. I tossed my sweater on a chair leaving me in my super baggy jeans and a white tank top. My socks had already been tossed on the floor earlier in the evening, in hopes the cool tile floor would relieve
the heat. I had my IPod ear buds in and was moving a little to the music, squeezing icing onto the most recently cooled batch. Movement in my peripheral vision scared me.

I squealed and clenched my fist around the icing tube, resulting in a huge glob of green on the counter top. One hand on my chest and my eyes shut tightly, I tried to calm myself. Finally opening my eyes, I could see his lips moving, but all that was coming out of his mouth was Bob Marley. I bit my lip so not to laugh and pulled my ear buds out.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you." I held up the ear buds. "I didn't realize you were there." I smiled lightly and started scraping the icing off of the countertop. The only sound in the room was the splat of the icing glob hitting a nearby plate.

I didn't have to look to know he was still in the room with me. The mixture of chill and pull buzzed between us. The fidgeting began, but I snapped myself out of it. It really bothered me how he could invoke the reaction from me. Finally I took a deep breath and turned my head toward the source of my irritation. His eyes were as intense as always and I furrowed my brow at him for a moment. The green orbs were not the familiar hard emeralds, but a swirling pool lime distracting me from my irritation.

"Was there something you needed Dr. Bishop or did you just want to help decorate some cupcakes?" I broke the trance enough to speak. His eyes shifted from my face down my body and then back up to my face. The hard emeralds returned.

"Could you please try to keep your clothes on when you are walking around the shared areas of the house?"

My mouth gaped open for a moment and then I snapped it shut. He gestured to my sweater and socks hanging on the chair. I looked down at myself. Then anger boiled up from pit of my stomach.

"I am clothed Dr. Bishop." I turned back to the cupcakes and tried to take my anger out on the icing tubes, instead of reaching for a bible and beating the antichrist.

"I do not wish for you to roam around my home barely clothed."

I slammed the tube of icing down on the counter and spun around. Gasping I backed against the counter when I realized how close gotten. He wasn't three feet away and his eyes were again swirling limes. I swallowed hard, fought the seduction of his eyes, and found my resolve.

"I got overheated with the oven on for so long. I do not roam your home half dressed."

Quickly I turned back to the cupcakes before I lost the little resistance I had found. I could have sworn he stepped closer to me. Close enough for me to feel the heat from his body and his breath against the back of my right shoulder. I didn't dare turn around. Then it was gone, the heat, the breath, and the buzzing tension. I finally released a breath in reprieve of his departure, using the cupcakes to distract me from over thinking what just occurred.

The school party was interesting, to say the least. Each teacher had two helpers assisting them with fifty children. I figured there would be games, kids eating snacks, maybe a gift exchange, and other typical kid things. I was wrong, way wrong.

In place of games there was a small orchestra, they played a multitude of Christmas songs. Then Santa arrived, but the kids didn't cheer or express any of the excitement that was obvious in their eyes. Instead they sat patiently until there name was called upon for them to approach Santa. There was no sitting on his lap, only approach, say hello and thank you for the present.

After Santa left the children were organized into groups and the treats were passed out, but instead of on plates they were passed out in boxes and bags. Each child ate one thing and then it was time to listen to the librarian at the school read 'The Night Before Christmas'. And, well, that was it. I was seriously waiting for the Twilight Zone theme to start playing.

When Victoria and I left her school that afternoon, which was also the start of her winter break, I didn't hesitate in my next idea.

"So, what do you say we go see the real Santa Claus?" I looked at her quickly and her head snapped toward me.

"The real one?" She contemplated. "That wasn't the real –"

"Heck no, that was just a helper." I smiled broad.

I quickly drove her to the large department store that always had a huge set up for Santa. It even included Rudolph. Once we parked, I helped her out of the car and we maneuvered through hundreds and hundreds of shoppers to get in line.

"He's the real Santa?" Victoria looked up to me in awe.

I nodded.

"Yep, he only makes it out on one special day and today's it. That's why we had to hurry to get here." She turned back around, practically bouncing with excitement.

When it was her turn she got really shy and didn't want to go, so I grabbed her hand and we walked to him together. She hesitated to sit on his lap, so I had to show her how it was done.

"See Victoria, this is how you do it." I smiled broad, sat down on Santa's knee, and then gestured for Victoria to come over.

She walked slowly, but got on his other knee and told him what she wanted for Christmas, though she whispered it into his ear so I couldn't hear her. A picture was taken, both of us sitting on Santa's lap.

"Your turn," She smiled.

"My turn?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Tell Santa what you want for Christmas." She said it like I was stupid.

"Oh…well…" I turned my attention back to a chuckling Santa. "I want Victoria to get what she asked for." He chuckled again and handed us both candy canes before we were ushered away for the next child's turn.

We stood for a few moments waiting for our picture. I got one for myself and one for Victoria. Before we headed back to the car and drove home, I decided to hit a few departments while we were there.

Since I hadn't heard a word from Dr. Bishop about Victoria's Holiday Musical Recital, I figured he was not coming or he just would show up if he so desired. In my opinion he was an ass, so I could care less. At least that's what I said, though thoughts of him still nagged at the back of my mind.

We picked out a red velvet dress with a white long sleeve button up shirt which had ruffles around the cuffs and the collar for her to wear tonight. She had on white leggings and black Mary Janes. She looked positively adorable with her hair curled to perfect ringlets and a large black bow pinned to the side of her head.

Victoria had to be there an hour before the recital began, so we left at five thirty for the hall chosen. The inside was beautiful. There was balcony seating though I was pretty sure no one would sit up there since there seemed to be enough floor-seating to accommodate a children's recital.

During the car ride I could see her nerves starting to work on her. Once we had arrived and gone back stage her nerves had her stomach hurting and she wouldn't let me leave her side. I stood there diligently next to her trying to calm her with small jokes, but she just kept looking at me with widened eyes and a pale face.

"It will be fine. You are great and will show them how great you are." I smiled encouragingly at her.

"I can't do it." She barely spoke out loud. She shook her head. "I can't go out there in front of all of those people."

"Don't be silly Victoria you can do it. You're a Bishop." Both our heads turned to see Allison heading toward us in quick steps. She knelt down next to Victoria. "You hold that head up high and go out there, okay?" She smiled broadly.

Victoria shook her head, fear filling her eyes with unshed tears.

"There will be no crying. You will get out there and show them just how wonderful you are." Allison smiled at her, but her tone was demanding.

"Hey, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do." I pulled Victoria to stand in front of me, so I could get her full attention. I heard Allison gasp, but didn't care. "But you can do this. You have all this courage buried inside of you. Just let it out." I tapped her nose with my finger.

Victoria's nerves were starting to ease slightly, but not enough. The person acting as stage manager came over and told her she was up next. Instantly the tears were welling up in her eyes. She turned to me panicked.

Allison had stood up tall by this point.

"Victoria you will go out there and do this. Everyone is waiting on you. We all came to see you play. Now you don't want to disappoint your family do you, Grandma and Grandpa, Uncle Jonathan, Aunt Larissa and Uncle Max? Do you?"

She bit her lip to keep from crying and shook her head. I had had enough.

"Are you insane?" I stood up facing Allison. Her shocked face turned to me and then she glowered at me. "Don't guilt her. She is just a child."

"Who do you think you are?" Allison started to yell, but when the stage manager shushed her she dropped to a lower yet still pissed tone. "You are not her mother, so don't tell me how to talk to my niece."

"I may not be her mother, but I am with her more than you are. I take care of her and care that you are laying guilt on a seven year old child because of who your family is. It's ridiculous."
I snapped and then turned my attention to Victoria. Instantly my face softened. "What do you want to do?"

"She is going to perform that's what she is going to do." Allison grabbed Victoria's arm and walked her toward the stage. "Are you ready? This is so exciting."

"I can't go out there." Victoria started to cry.

Allison halted her steps and looked down to Victoria with a sad expression.

"Don't cry baby, please. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry." I could tell she was upset at herself, but I was still too angry.

"Victoria," the stage manager announced her name, "you are up."

I moved to her side and turned her to look at me.

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't want to disappoint –"

"Forget everyone else, what do you want? Do you want to do this, because if you do then….well, then we'll do it together."

Her face lit up. "Together?"

I nodded and stood. I held out my hand and after she took it, we headed out on stage.

"Miss…" the stage manager hissed in a hushed tone. I ignored him and we headed out as her instructor announced her name.

I straightened out my plum colored wrap dress and sat on the Bench next to Victoria. She looked up at me with large happy eyes. In the small glance we shared, nothing else mattered. I could care less if hundreds of people thought I was crazy or if Dr. Bishop would fire me for embarrassing him and his family. All that truly matter was that Victoria began to play and she was phenomenal.