Live to Tell (14 page)

“Shall I help you, Mum?”

“Thank you dear. I’ve got the tea things ready in the kitchen. If we just have a cup of tea, first, the sandwiches can follow.”

We walked through together but Aunt Jess stayed in the ‘drawing room’ with Dad and Danny. Like most modern houses surplus areas had been designed out and the hall was practically non-existent. Although my parents’ home had four bedrooms the downstairs space was hardly adequate for a large group. You had a straight choice, either sit at the table in the dining-room or hover in the room next door. There a large floral suite of furniture ensured adults couldn’t walk around without bumping into each other. In addition, the property had stud walls that made no pretence at soundproofing.

“So what’s Aunt Jess doing here? Good heavens, you’ve got the Royal Albert out,” I whispered, genuinely surprised at the appearance of her best china inherited from my grandmother.

“Well, Jess often pops round on Sundays and we weren’t sure who you were bringing. It might have been someone special. We obviously made the right decision, didn’t we? Does he take sugar?” She peered at me over her glasses.

I gave her a squeeze, so happy to have the reassurance her presence always brought me. Although she was only forty-four, she seemed quite ancient and comforting to me.

“Yes, loads.”

“And what about your house mate? Aidan, isn’t it? Is he any better after his accident?”

Aunt Jess told them about the mix up over the name of my companion and later I told them he was involved in a road accident and needed hospital care. I was not sure how much they believed, but no doubt Danny’s presence today, confirmed my story, that I wasn’t “living” with Aidan.

“I’ve opened a Dundee cake that I bought, ready for Christmas. I expect Danny likes cake. Most boys seem to.”

We carried the tea in on trays, and I caught Aunt Jess gazing up at Danny, as my father propounded his theory on the outcome of some battle or other. I guessed Danny had already told him he was in the Army, otherwise it would have taken Dad at least half-an-hour longer to get onto the subject.

“Alan, get off your hobby horse,” Mum said. “Give the boy a rest. Alan’s always been interested in the Army, and warfare and stuff, Danny, and I’m afraid you are a captive audience.”

“No, Mrs. Scanlon. That’s alright. I don’t know much about military strategy, but it’s a nice change to talk to someone who really does,
and
finds it interesting.”

Dad beamed at the compliment.

“Have you ever played war games, Alan, paint balling and that sort of stuff?”

“No, lad. At fifty-two, I think I’m a bit old for all that. The only physical exercise I get these days, aside from battling the Northern line to King’s Cross, is doing the garden.”

“I notice you seem to have a lot of roses out there. I know it’s not a good time of year, but perhaps you could show me what you’ve got.”

“Of course. It will be a pleasure,” Dad said. “Come this way.”

“Alan, the tea’ll get cold,”

“We’ll only be a minute.”

The three of us stared after them in surprise as they went through the patio doors and down the path. I had not realised that Danny was keen on roses. The subject had never cropped up before.

“What a nice young man,” said Mum. “Much better than I ever imagined you’d bring back. Wherever did you find him?”

“I met him in Italy, when Aunt Jess took me to Cattolica, eighteen months ago,” I said, airily feeling a bit insulted. Aunt Jess looked astonished.

“Well. You little minx! You kept quiet about that one. I only saw the other boy, the dreamy one with the long dark hair. I must say, this one’s far more to my taste. He’s more of a, a real man.”

“Shush,” I whispered, “please. He might hear you.”

Mum patted my arm. “No, dear, he won’t hear us through this double glazing. Oh my God, just look at that. What on earth?” She tugged at the curtains and peered out.

Danny had just placed his arm around Dad’s shoulder.

“Oh, I hope he’s not telling him he’s got to get his shot gun out. I couldn’t go through that again.”

“Sandra,” exclaimed Aunt Jess, “what a terrible thing to say.”

I blushed, wondering if it was so obvious that Danny and I were lovers, not knowing what the “again” referred to.

“Oh, my God,” said Mum again. “Look!”

My father had thrown both arms around Danny and was kissing him.

“He must have told him he’s won the pools,” she said. “That’s the only thing your father would get excited about.”

Then, after exchanging a few more unknown words, they walked back together, to the house.

“Goodness, it’s parky out there,” Dad said, when they came in, and smiled broadly at our enquiring looks. “Danny might be able to get some tickets for
The
White
Helmets
, the Royal Signals Motor Cycle Exhibition Team at Earl’s Court arena. He rides a bike as well, you know, and knows one of them.” He looked at us from face to face, as if defying us to challenge him on the matter.

Later, after tea, we kissed them all goodbye and walked back to the car. When Danny got in he turned to speak to me.

“Let’s go home,” he said. “When we get back, there’s something I want to do.”

“Oh,” I asked, surprised. “What’s that?”

“You,” he said, laughing at me. “I’m going to fuck you till we’re both worn out. It’s that dress. It’s a real turn-on!”

“For God’s sake, Danny,” I giggled. “I hope they can’t lip read. Mum thought you were a nice young man!”

Several hours later, we lay in my bed in the dark, I with my back to him, he with his arms around me. He kissed the back of my neck.

“I have to go soon. I can’t stay tonight. The traffic on Mondays is dire and I’m on an early, so I can’t afford to be late. Unless we have a pass, we are supposed to sleep on base. Nearly every one stays out all night at some time. You know, goes out and doesn’t come home again till the morning. But we all cover for each other. I haven’t slept there for four nights running and if I’m not careful, someone’s bound to notice. If I’m confined to barracks, I won’t be able to see you at all, and wouldn’t even have any way of letting you know. That’s the last thing I want.”

“Oh, no, I hadn’t realised. That’s awful. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow, either,” I sighed. “I’m coming to the end of the first term of my second year, and they are doing assessments. I’m dreading the outcome. I haven’t done very well at all. Last term they made allowances for me because of what happened to Aidan, but that can’t go on forever. I reckon it’s just a matter of time before they kick me out. Anyway, Aidan comes back on Tuesday. I’ll speak to him about you staying here for weekends. I won’t be able to do it till Wednesday, ’cause I’m working Tuesday night after college, but he shouldn’t mind. Not now that he’s so much better. When I first moved in, he said I could have people to stay over, if I wanted, as long as it wasn’t obtrusive. Jurgen, our old house mate had birds here all the time and it didn’t bother us. But I’ve never wanted to before.”

“Can I come back tomorrow evening? Will that be alright? Then we can talk about the college problems and how to sort them.”

“Of course.”

After he left I made myself a cup of hot chocolate and settled down to sleep. What Danny said about getting into trouble came as a surprise to me. I did not realise he was not supposed to stay out all night and I pictured him, like a naughty schoolboy, climbing over the fence each morning to avoid detection. I then realised that having the car, he would have to drive in through the gates in full view.

Oh, no, I thought, something else to worry about. I’ll have to send my angel home each night.

Aidan was home when I got back from college on Wednesday, and it was so nice to see him looking more like his old self. Even his facial scar did not seem as livid as before he went away. I took off my winter coat and hung it, together with my thick scarf on a peg.

“Sit down, Hon. I’ll make you a cup of tea,” he said. “Have you had a good week? I need to talk to you about something.”

He brought the steaming mugs and a large shiny box through to the living room and placed them on the coffee table, near the window, where Aunt Jess sat a year ago. Although it was already dark, we didn’t close the curtains because the outside world glittered with the beams produced by the head and tail-lights of the cars going home, up and down the hill.

“Biscuit? I brought these for you.”

“Gosh, thanks. That’s nice. Thank you.” I sat down.

“No, it’s me that should be thanking you. You’ve been such an angel and I don’t think I would have survived without you. I’ve managed to get a lot of thinking done over the last few days, and the staff at the unit have been talking me through my options. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I don’t know how to say this, but I’ve sort of decided to go back home, just for the time being.

Mum and Dad have been
soo
worried about me and I just ignored their wishes completely. Now I realise how selfish I’ve been, and as I’m being signed off this week by St Mary’s, I haven’t got an excuse to stay in London any more. But I don’t want to let you down. I’ve been so caught up with all my troubles, I’ve just ignored yours.”

“I haven’t got any. No really, I mean it, not anymore. I am
very
happy. I’ve met someone wonderful. Well, you know. It’s Danny.”

Danny began to stay with us, each weekend and one night mid-week. During the first week in December Aidan returned to the family home in Ireland. To make things easier, Danny got weekend passes but still had to bunk off during the week. We were together every evening, even when he didn’t stay the night, as he collected me from the pub whenever I was working there. I loved him, more and more, but my course work suffered as I never had any free time to study.

Additionally, I missed Aidan terribly. Whether it was because of what he had endured, I don’t know, but I cared about him deeply and saying goodbye was really hard.

A few days before Christmas, Danny and I were lounging on the sofa while he idly flicked through the TV channels. I had just decorated our Christmas tree and was feeling quite pleased with myself. The old carpet and most of the furniture in the apartment were blue, so I had created a pink and silver world, from tinsel and baubles. I gazed at it, feeling overcome at the thought of my first Christmas with Danny.