Living in Darkness (Bloodbreeders) (4 page)

“No, no, no” she said repeatedly. “This
ain’t
real, this can’t be real.” My father began to walk over to her, but she started
screaming, “No, Sam, get away, this
ain’t
real”

He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her with all his might. When
she didn’t stop screaming, he did something he had never done in all their
years of marriage. He slapped her square across the face. She collapsed to the
floor, sobbing. He knelt down, pulling her into his arms and started rocking
her gently.

“It
’
s real, Ma. It
’
s real. But now we have to take care of her, and I
can’t do it without you.” My mother nodded, and tried her best to compose
herself. My father helped her to her feet, and brought her to my side.

Sam Jr. sat by the table and wept, as my mother took me up in her arms.
She held me, rocking me back and forth. “I’m so sorry, child. I’m here now.
You’re
gonna
be fine.” My father and Sam Jr. just
looked at each other, knowing I was not going to be fine. They knew she needed
more than they could give her, so my father turned to Sam Jr. and told him to go
on down and get Mrs. Miller, and tell James—my other brother—to fetch Doc
Taylor.

Sam was off like lightning.
 
My father
tried to pull my mother away from me, but she wouldn’t let go, so instead he
held us both and cried. When Mrs. Miller showed up, she took over without
saying a word. She gathered water, rags, and some soap to clean my body. She
went over to my father and said, “Sam, take Myrtle out and I’ll care for
Renee.” Ma shot her a look that most people never saw from a woman like my
mother.

“You keep your hands off my baby,” she yelled.

Once again, my father tried to pull my mother away from my body.

“Come on, Ma, she’s only trying to help.”

“I’ll do it,” she said adamantly. “I gave birth to her, and I can damn
well get her cleaned up myself.”

Mrs. Miller came around the table and gently took my mother in her
arms.

“Let me help you, Myrtle. You’ve been here for me for so many years. Please
let me
be
here for you now.”

“Why would God take my baby, what did she ever do? She’s a good girl.” Then,
after a short pause, she said softly, “She was...”

My father went outside as the two crying women held each other. After a
few moments, they undressed my body, and together they did what was necessary
in the situation. When they were finished, my mother went upstairs to her old wooden
chest and pulled out a white gown. She held it close, and said with tears
streaming down her face, “It was supposed to be me wearing this when I died,
not one of my babies.” After a few minutes, she made her way back downstairs,
and she and Mrs. Miller finished getting me dressed and fixed my hair. My
mother sat down in the chair closest to my head, and lovingly stroked my hair. Pa
was sitting on the porch smoking his pipe when Mrs. Miller came to the door.

“Sam, we’re finished,” she said, but he didn’t respond. “Sam?”

“Sorry, I didn’t hear
ya
come out,” he said,
discreetly trying to wipe the tears from under his eyes.

“I’m sorry to bother you. I just wanted to let you know that Myrtle and
I are done.”

“Oh. Okay, thanks
Liella
.” With that, he got
up and walked to the barn.

Soon after, Sam Jr. and James showed up with Doc Taylor. The three
could hear hammering coming from the barn, but Sam Jr. was the only one that
knew for sure what my father was busy building my coffin. Sam Jr. went into the
barn, and immediately began to help. The doctor, still a little shaky after the
conversation between himself and my father that had occurred yesterday, decided
to go straight to the house. James ran up the steps to the back door, and threw
it open. When he saw my corpse lying on the table, he collapsed into the door
frame and broke down, sobbing heavily.

Upon seeing my body, Doc Taylor took off his hat and went back out to
the barn. For a moment, he contemplated climbing back into his Model-T and
leaving.
After
the nervous anticipation of facing a man whose daughter he couldn't save,
it took ten minutes of cringing outside the barn door before slapping his hat
against his leg and walking inside.

 
“Mr. Crocker, I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” he
said sympathetically, standing in the barn entrance.

“I need you to check on Myrtle,” he replied without even looking up.
“Give her something for her nerves.”

He continued pounding away at the partially built casket. The doctor
knew not to push his luck, so with a polite nod of the head, he exited toward
the house to do as my father had instructed.

Chapter 4

In those days, when someone passed on, all of their kin, neighbors, and
most of the townsfolk brought food to the family of the deceased. So, needless
to say, many people attended the viewing. The women took care of any needs that
my mother may have had, ranging from housework to simply serving coffee and pie
to those paying their respects, while the men hung back and smoked their pipes.
Typically, the casket was open for the entire viewing; hence the name, but Sam
Jr. and my father had replaced the top to the coffin early in the day, mostly
for my mother’s sake. She never stopped staring in my direction, and though she
remained silent, her tears stayed wet on her cheeks. Late that afternoon, all
the guests filtered out so that my family could spend their last night with me.
Because my family was not wealthy, they couldn’t afford to have my body
embalmed, as was the case most of the time. This made it necessary to get the
body into the ground as soon as possible, so my burial was scheduled early the
next morning.

*****

I awoke to blackness. I couldn’t open my eyes or my mouth, and I was
unable to move any part of my body.
I
must get out before I drown
, I thought to myself. Then I took a breath
through my nose and knew I wasn’t at the bottom of the lake, like I had thought.
Finally I remembered and figured that I must have gotten so sick that I was too
weak to move. Even my hearing seemed affected, because I could hear voices, but
they all sounded muffled, like I as at the bottom of a well.

“Thank
ya’ll
, for coming by, Earl,” I heard
my father say. “Means a lot to us.”

“Well, we all loved that girl, Sam,” a man replied. “Known her since
she was running around in pigtails.”

“Seems like just yesterday she was being born,” he said solemnly. “It’s
hard to believe she’s actually gone.”

I felt like I was going crazy.
What
is going on
?
I thought to
myself.
Who is ‘she’
?
The only sense that I could
make out of it was maybe something happened to my baby sister, Edna.
Oh God, please let her be okay,
I
thought in my semi foggy state. What I heard next shocked me
beyond
belief
.

“Renee will always be in our hearts,
Myrtle.
”
an older woman’s voice said as plain as day.

My stomach jumped into my throat. Surely, I didn’t just hear my name. About
that time, my mother started wailing loudly, and the realization hit me that
they were indeed talking about me, Renee Crocker, being dead.

“Mama I’m
here
”
I
screamed with all my might, yet not
making a sound
. “I’m alive, Mama, please
don’t bury me. I’m not dead! I can hear
ya
. Please Mama,
Please
!” I tried and tried, but no matter what I did I couldn’t open my
mouth to cry for help.
What
the hell
is happening to me?
I thought but I just couldn’t make sense of it. Not that it mattered. Despite
what was really happening, they thought I was dead. They were at my funeral, about
to put me in the ground and there was nothing I could do. I was going to be
buried alive.

*****

I don’t know how much time passed, but suddenly I was back in my mind. I
heard what sounded like wood cracking, and then all of a sudden I was being
lifted into the air. Miraculously, my limbs seemed stronger, because I wrapped
my arms around the neck of my rescuer. Prayers streamed through my head that
what I had heard earlier had been a bad dream, yet in the same instance, I was
thanking God that someone had figured out I wasn’t dead.

“I have you now. There is no need for worries.” I heard a familiar
voice say softly. “You have nothing to fear.”

It was then that I recognized the voice. It was Martin. Suddenly, I was
overrun by the memory of him and me that night in the woods and panic set in. I
began to struggle, but unlike the last encounter, I was strong. I
kicked,
scratched, and hit with all my might, all landing me
hard on the ground, flat on my back. I was unsure if I had been thrown or
dropped, but regardless, I was free. I still couldn’t open my eyes or mouth. As
I placed my fingers on my lips, I figured out the reason. A vague memory
entered my mind of when my Grandma Crocker had died.
“Why they doin’ that, Pa?”
I had asked, as I watched my
grandmother’s eyes and mouth being glued shut. My father replied with,
“That’s what they do to the dead, child.”
Once again fear-stricken, I began to tear at my face, trying desperately to
open my mouth and eyes. Before I knew it, I was pinned to the ground, strong
arms holding me down. I felt both of my hands being held down by one of his,
yet I continued to fight, kicking with all my might, trying to dig my nails
into his hands, but he held strong.

A cold, wet cloth was being put on my face, cleaning my eyes. Little by
little they were starting to open. My suspicion had been correct. I could now
see for certain that the man with me was Martin, and for some reason, I began
to calm a bit. Finished with my eyes, he began cleaning my mouth and I let him.
As soon as my mouth would open enough for me to talk, I did not hesitate.

“You tried to kill me, you bastard! Now, my family thinks I am dead,
and it’s
all your
fault.” He didn’t try to stop me, so
I continued. “They was
gonna
bury me alive. Do you
have any idea what you’ve done to us?” I paused for a breath, and then said
with certainty in my voice, “Well, I can tell you one thing. When my Pa finds
out what you done, he’s
gonna
shoot you like a rabid
dog.”

“But Renee, you
did
die,” he
replied with certainty. “To the world you once knew, you are dead, that I can
assure you.”

“I am not dead, you crazy son-of-a-bitch!” I was so taken aback with
what he had just said that I was nearly speechless. “I am standing right here
in front of you.”

Martin stared back at me, the expression on his face too close to pity
for my liking.

“I’m goin’ home,” I said. “And if you know what’s best for you, you’ll
be high-tailing it out of these parts.”

Then I was up and running as fast as I could. Before I knew what had
happened, I was once again flat on my back with Martin lying on top of me, my
arms pinned between our bodies, and my face in his hands.

“Renee,” he began. “You must listen to me. Look about. Do things not
seem different to you? Your vision, hearing, sense of smell, are they not all
heightened?”

“Let-Me-Go.” I growled through clenched teeth, and then I spit in his
face. “You’re a trickster, that’s all.”

“NO Renee… You are no longer a part of this world.”

“My family’s
gonna
find out about this. They’ll
see my coffin all tore open. They’ll know I’m not dead and they’ll be hunting
for me.”

“I am afraid not, my love,” he said, with sadness in his eyes. “Everything
will be placed as it was. Your coffin and grave will be intact, and they will
continue to believe that you are where they placed you.”

I was in shock. Why would this stranger do this to me and my family?
We’re good people. We never wronged anyone.

“Do you do this a lot, rip families apart? To folks
that
are
perfectly happy? That’s it, isn’t it? We were just too happy for
you,” I cried.

“Renee, I have been watching you for many months, because I have been
searching for one thing for as long as I care to remember, and it is you that I
have found. I do this for no other reason than that,” Martin explained as he
slowly moved his thumb across my cheek.

I lay for a moment silently. Then, with a slight smirk, I said, “You
wanna
know the sad part, Martin? I was really starting to
like you. I’ve waited the better part of twenty six years to find the man I was
meant to be with, and I really thought I had found him.”

“We have all eternity to make our love grow for one
ano
–”
he started, but I broke in before he could finish.

“You can forget about all that now. I hate you, and no amount of time
in the world would make me love you. Look what you’ve done to my family!
What?
Did you really think I would just fall into your
arms?”