Livvy's Devil Dom (12 page)

“You will, love, for all of us you will.”
Sael's
voice filled her, but before she had a chance to formulate a reply, Saffaul
shook his head.

"You must both
agree and participate. You both know this. It is too late."

"Is it?"
She looked at Sael, or, she thought, the shell of him.

"Livvy, if you
love me, don't make me say no. Accept what we had, look forward to your future,
and remember, now and forever, I'm part of you."

Livvy stared at
Saffaul, who still stood and watched them. "Is he? None of this crap evil
Devil stuff in me? Nothing will move in when, when he's gone?"

"That I
guarantee, no evil," he said carefully. She waited, but he was silent.
"Nothing else, eh?"
She turned back to Sael.
"You really mean this, don't you?

"This
'all is well lost for love' stuff?"
Sael nodded. "I
want to be with you more than anything in any world. And if it was me fucking
all and sundry, then we'd do it.
But not you.
Yes,
double standards, but that's how I feel. Please, please accept it, and let me
go with my dignity intact. Yeah? And dream of me?" He smiled. "Let's
face it. You've had plenty of practice."

Livvy knew then he
wouldn't change his mind, knew she had no say in the matter. He thought he was
doing the right thing. But was he?

Epilogue

Seven months later

How hard was it to
negotiate a doorway when you were almost eight months pregnant and as big as a
bus? Livvy entered the library with difficulty and smiled at the somewhat
worried librarian who stared at her.

"Honestly, Suze,
I'm not about to pop. Not now, at any rate. I feel fine."

"Yeah, so you
say." Suze, her longtime friend, snorted. "Honestly, Liv? You look
like snow warmed up. Go home, rest, and be thankful. And have those babies.
Soon, please, or I'll go into overdrive."

Liv laughed. Okay, a
fairly hollow laugh, but still, it could be construed as such.

"No overdrive
needed. Nic and Cherie will come where they're good and ready. Which is not,"
she doubled over as a sudden pain gripped her stomach. "Argh, which may
well
be now. Oh, shit, shit, shit. It hurts. Er, no story
time today. Oh, fuck. No, I did that."

Livvy babbled. No one
had told her it would be so immediate.
And so bloody painful.

"No more fucking.
It ends in tears. Then and now." She began to cry. "It's so not fair,
no Daddy to see them born. No Daddy to help them grow into themselves.
So.
Bloody. Not.
Fair."

Livvy looked down at
the bump that was her twins
. Sael was right. There is life inside me.
Beautiful, beautiful life.

Her stomach
contracted again
. Shit, this hurts!
She thought she heard voices in the
air.
Ours!

"Sod off. No way
are my children going anywhere
."
She declared it to the elements.
"My children, my man."

Well he was, until
you decided otherwise, you bastards.
Whoever you are.

"Er, Liv?"
Suze looked worried. "Are you having hallucinations again?"

For the umpteenth
time, Livvy wondered why she had explained her momentary bouts of
blankness—times when she tried to feel Sael in her—as hallucinations.

"Ah—no, giving
birth." She laughed weakly, and then groaned again as another contraction
hit her.

He should be here. I
need him, only him. I can't do it alone.

Even now, all these
months later, she still couldn't believe how Sael had been marched away from
her, and she'd been summarily taken to a portal—not the one she and Sael had
entered by, but a tiny, nondescript, porta-cabin type building—and returned to
Scotland.

Then
nothing.
Just long, lonely days, when even teaching
couldn't lift her out of her dark moods.
And even longer, sleepless nights,
when she'd prayed to have Sael in her dreams. But she never had.

So, there was nothing,
apart from the knowledge she had been loved, well loved. And a lingering
regret, tempered with
relief, that
things had not
progressed any further on that fateful day.

When she'd had her
pregnancy confirmed, she'd cried. For the fact her children would never know
their father, but also for the happy fact she had part of Sael with her
forever. The understanding midwife had checked her form, seen the words “father
deceased” and given her a hug.

"We're all here
for you, my pet. And call me Doris." The midwife’s soft Midlands accent
and the nickname she used had brought forth a fresh flood of tears, and Livvy
couldn't really tell her why.

She'd managed a weak,
"he used to call me that," and got another hug. After that it had
been “love” or “chick”.

Then, as her body
grew rounder, Livvy's mood lifted. Their children needed love and attention,
and she had to give enough for two.

She felt a gush of
liquid.
Oh fuck, no way can I be turned on now, not at this size and about
to give birth.
In public, unless we move from here sharpish.

"Wow, Livvy,
your waters have broken. What do I do? Shut the library? Boil water? Tell me.
I'm a novice here." Suze vacillated between looking worried and beaming.
"Woo hoo to you.
God,
am I glad to be your birth
partner. But
tell me
!"

Yeah, and I know how?

"Stay calm.
Let's go home and pretend none of this has happened, and then we can do this
where I want to." At home, in the bedroom where so many positive things
had occurred.

"Okay, yeah,
right, now, well good.
Yeah."
Suze babbled and
bit her nails. "Let's go.
Closing time, almost, anyway.
So my watch is wrong. They need to put a clock in here. Okay, let's go."

Livvy bit her lip.
She was glad she hadn't driven. It felt like someone was building a shed in her
tummy. Though after five minutes of Suze's bunny jumping, she wasn't so sure
driving wouldn't have been better.

"Suze," she
said in the end.
"For fuck's sake.
You usually
drive like you were in a Grand Prix and Jensen Button was after you. What's
with the stop start, oh can I do it? And, oh fuck, can I?"
That is one
acute pain
. "We need to get home, sharpish. Like now."

They made the
ten-minute journey in six minutes. Within fifteen, Livvy was in her favorite
nightshirt, the one Sael had whisked off her, with a "fetching but
unnecessary" comment, stretched out on the bed, and alternately swearing
and asking for drugs.

"Anything,
everything," she pleaded. "If I can't have Sael, I need the lot. C'mon,
Suze, rub my back and tell me
it's
fine. Give me
something."

"The midwife is
on her way. Hold on and think of, er, Britain?"

Livvy remembered all
the swear words she'd been forbidden to say.
And said them.
Twice.

"This is so not
fun." She tried to breathe through a contraction. "I give up. I want
gas, air, epidural, hell, a Cesarean.
Or Sael."

The air shimmered.
Livvy watched as a cloud appeared, formed into a mass of darkness, and then
reformed into light and…

You've got me, love.
I'm here. Let's do it.

Sael?
Okay, it
has to be a dream. But that's fine. If it means our babies will be born,
dreaming will do. And I promise not to moan when my dream is over.

That was easier said
than done. Especially when the midwife—who arrived just in time to catch twin
number one—Nic—wide awake and bawling his head off at the indignity as he had
slid out—pronounced the baby was a he, and urged her to get on with it and
bring number two into the world.

Cherie arrived six
minutes later.
Even if they were six weeks early.

"There, now,
didn't we do well?" Doris, the midwife, said complacently.

We?
We?
What's with the
we
? You just
stood there. I did all the work.

Livvy had never been
so close to hitting someone. Especially as both the midwife—and Suze—had either
not seen, or chosen to ignore Sael. Livvy chose to ignore their ignorance. To just
say thank you and let
Suze
go to make a cup of tea,
and Doris all the things she had to. To pronounce the twins fit and well, and
depart, with the dire—to Livvy—threat that she'd be back the next day.

She'd face that when
she had to.

Two hours later,
clean, tidy, and tired, Livvy sat in bed, and looked at her babies, one on each
breast. Suze had gotten rid of the midwife as soon as it was decent. And the
two of them had defiantly had a glass of champagne each.

To Livvy's sorrow,
Sael—or his memory—had disappeared once Cherie, twin two, had been born. She
could still feel his lingering kiss, hear his soft, "Thank you," and
imagine his hug.

"Okay, time to
sleep." Suze said in her best “do as I say” voice. The one she used when
unruly children shouted and screamed in the library. "I've made my bed.
Shout if you need me. And
do not
argue. I'm a very light sleeper. Shout
and I'll hear you."

"Says the woman
who slept through an earthquake," Livvy said, and laughed. "Seriously,
Suze, if I need you, I'll shout."

Not that she thought
she would. Somehow, she knew she would be fine.

Suze departed into
the spare bedroom, still reiterating the "call me and I'll come"
rules. Livvy snuggled down, a baby on each side. None of this put in a crib
stuff, not yet. She needed her babies close to her. It was almost as if she
could feel Sael there, loving them all.

She dozed off.
And woke with a jolt, and no babies.

"I have them,
love." Sael stood by the bed, a babe on each arm and the biggest, smuggest
grin she had ever seen on a face.

"You're dead.
You're fucking dead," Livvy cried. Big fat harsh sobs, with tears that
racked her body.

"No, love, you
saved me. Because you showed what you were prepared to do for us, you saved me.
Because I wouldn't let you, I was also saved, to eventually be allowed to be
with you. My penance for my defiance was to wait until now to come to you
openly."

Sael is really here,
eyes
twinkling, that wicked grin on his face,
looking at
me, at the babies? He really is, no dream, no wish, just here?

"But you were
dying. I saw you."

He nodded.
"Remember, I am Saffaulian. As long as I had some breath, my father could
choose to allow me to live. He did—eventually—but I'm sure he made certain I
wondered for a while. I think the best way to describe it is I was in a coma. I
was here. I could see you, but I couldn't reach you. My world chose to let me
live, but it was many moons before I came back to, well, full life, I
guess."

He smiled at her, a
smile full of promise and love.

"My, didn't we
do well." He pressed a kiss on her forehead, careful not to squash either
baby as they nestled comfortably in his arms.

"Didn't we just?"
Livvy said faintly.
Was
this a dream? Like the one she had prayed for,
and never had her prayers answered about, whilst their babies grew inside her?
One she would wake from, feeling lost and bereft?

She felt the nip on
her neck.

"No, no more.
I'm here if you want me.
To be us, you, me, and our children.
Are you up for it?
Weird kids, even weirder husband, but lots
of love?
Sir and sub; husband and wife.
Will
you go for it, Liv?"

She looked at his
beloved face, touched it, lifted his wrist, and meshed their tattoos.

"Really?"
Could she
believe it? So many times, she'd dreamed he was there, only to wake up lost and
lonely.

"Really.
I've paid
my dues. I'm with you forever.
If you'll have me.
The
fact I put you above Saffaul, the fact you were prepared to do all to save me?
Well, evidently, that's what Saffaul needs. I'm now officially alive, and not
due to die until any human would. Oh, and the leader elect. Can you stand
that?"

His eyes were bright,
the love shining out of them.

Oh, could she. She
showed him just how much. Even with two babies hampering them. This was love.

The End

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