Lizzie's War (15 page)

‘I know you're thinking of the business but I only have ten days, Lizzie. I love you and I want to spend them with you.'

‘All right,' she said. ‘I'll tell Ed to shut the showroom for a few days. If anyone really needs us they can ring the bell and he or Jean will see to things.'

‘You need more staff,' Sebastian said. ‘You can borrow some of my salespeople from the shop. I'll make a few calls and fix it up – and then we'll go away for a day or so.'

*

It was two in the morning when Lizzie finally went to bed. Sebastian had gone to stay with a friend at his London apartment. He'd made a couple of calls and his manager was sending along an experienced salesperson to take Lizzie's place at the workshop for a few days.

‘Ed can brief Paula on whatever she needs to know,' he'd told Lizzie after he'd made his call. ‘You've told me about the trouble with Bert Oliver. I'll sort him out for you – and we'll see about the rest later. I shall be here at eleven tomorrow morning, Lizzie – will you be ready to leave?'

‘Yes, please,' she said. ‘Where shall we go?'

‘You'll have to wait and see,' he said and kissed her nose. ‘I love you, my darling. I want to spend as much time as I can with you before I have to leave – and perhaps persuade you to marry me…?'

‘Oh, Sebastian, I do love you so very much…'

It had been a long day and Lizzie fell asleep soon after her head touched the pillow. Beth woke her in the morning, opening the curtains and offering a cup of tea.

‘What time did you get to bed last night?'

‘It was this morning,' Lizzie said and laughed. ‘I'm going away for a couple of days, Beth – and Sebastian mentioned marriage….'

‘Are you going to say yes?'

‘I think so,' Lizzie replied and stretched. ‘I need a little time alone with him, but I'm pretty sure that I'm in love with him, Beth.'

‘Then you should grab him with both hands.'

*

Lizzie woke, stretched and wondered why she felt so marvellous and then became aware of the warmth of the man lying beside her and smiled, turning to snuggle into his body. She was in bed with Sebastian and he'd spent most of the previous night making love to her, and it had been wonderful. In the arms of the man she was now sure she loved, Lizzie had discovered a pleasure she'd never even guessed she could experience until the previous night and now she felt like a lazy kitten, curled up in luxurious warmth. For once she didn't have to get up or go to work or even look after her darling daughter; Betty was being lovingly cared for by Beth at home for a couple of days, and they'd spoken briefly on the phone the previous evening, because Lizzie had never been away from Betty like this before, but Beth had assured her she was fine.

‘You're awake then?' Sebastian's voice was soft but deep with passion and she looked up and saw a reflection of the happiness she was feeling in his eyes. ‘You've been sleeping for ages, darling.'

‘What time is it?' she asked and reached out to touch his cheek.

‘Ten thirty or thereabouts,' he murmured. ‘I've been watching you for the past hour. You looked so lovely and so peaceful. I want to drink you in so that the memory of these few days stays with me forever.'

‘You should have woken me,' Lizzie said and reached up to kiss him.

‘You obviously needed the sleep.'

‘I don't always sleep this well. It must be because you're here with me.'

‘Worries about the business?' Sebastian eased himself up against the pillows, reaching for a cigarette. He offered her the pack but she shook her head. He took one out but then replaced it and drew her close to him. ‘If something bothers you, tell me. Harry's uncle won't trouble you again, believe me – but when I spoke to him yesterday, he swore he didn't order someone to break your windows or paint foul words all over your walls and I believe him.'

‘He told Ed the same thing.' Lizzie sighed. She didn't want her problems to intrude on their time together. ‘It doesn't matter.'

‘It matters to me if someone is trying to harm you.' Sebastian frowned at her. ‘If it's not your business that's worrying you – what is it?'

‘It's shocking and goes back to when I was fourteen…you might not like it, Sebastian.'

He bent over her, gazing deeply into her eyes. ‘I love you, Lizzie, and if something hurts you I need to know.'

Lizzie took a deep breath and told him from the start. She told him what had happened when she went to fetch her uncle some cigarettes, how she'd been beaten, raped and left for dead.

‘I miscarried a child in the infirmary and I was ill for months, and afterwards I couldn't remember anything that had happened to me…I couldn't even remember my own name, until my uncle paid for me to go to a private sanatorium…'

‘Lizzie darling,' he said and wrapped his arms about her holding her close, his mouth against her hair, his body firm and strong against hers. ‘I'm sorry, my love, so sorry for what happened to you. I had no idea how much you'd been hurt…'

‘It doesn't make you feel disgust of me?'

‘It makes me want to kill whoever hurt you,' he said fiercely. ‘Why should you think it might disgust me?'

‘Harry felt like that…' Lizzie's voice broke. ‘He left me on our honeymoon and I came back to the flat alone…he could never forgive me…'

‘Forgive
you?
The bloody fool!' Sebastian reacted so angrily that Lizzie's eyes filled with tears. ‘Didn't he understand what it had done to you? My poor little love, what a thing to happen on your wedding night…'

‘It was because I didn't tell him before we married…'

Lizzie explained how she'd been told on the morning of her wedding, how she'd not known what to do and Sebastian drew her into his arms as the tears came. He stroked her hair, holding her and kissing her until she'd finished her story, finishing with Bert Oliver's accusations and the way he'd told her he wanted nothing more to do with her.

Lizzie smiled up at him, relief washing through her as she saw nothing but love and concern for her in his eyes. ‘It hasn't changed how you feel?'

‘I just want to love and protect you for the rest of our lives, my darling. I wish I could take all the pain away…'

Lizzie pressed closer. ‘You already have,' she whispered, breathing in the scent of him so that he would always be imprinted into her senses.

‘I wish I never had to leave you again, my love…' He held her tightly. ‘But you know I must go…'

‘I know…'she whispered against his chest. ‘For a long time I had nightmares but they've almost gone – but I did have a dream about you. I saw you lying hurt, Sebastian, and I felt you called to me.'

‘I did, over and over again,' he admitted and drew her closer. ‘I hated the thought of dying and never having had you in my arms like this, never having had the chance to show you how much I love you.' He held her closer, his lips against her brow. ‘You don't know how much I love you – how much I need you in my life.'

Lizzie looked at him, because there was underlying pain in his voice Was there something he hadn't told her? She would wait until he was ready to share it with her, because he would when he was ready, and for now all she wanted was to be held like this and to know she was loved.

‘Marry me, Lizzie? Marry me now…'

‘Oh yes, my darling. Just as soon as we can…'

‘We only have a few days before I leave…'

‘Then we shall just have to make the most of what we have, shan't we?' She lifted her face for his kiss. His lips set her tingling and she felt the slow burn of desire spreading up from deep down inside her and laughed up at him as he rolled her back in the bed and set to work with his lips and tongue to bring her to a state of perfect bliss.

They moved in harmony, their bodies fitting together as if they were two halves of the same being, rising and falling as they sought to please and be pleased. Lizzie panted and moaned as the glorious feeling surged inside her, pooling low in her belly and sending heat all over her, making her feel as if she were dissolving with ecstasy and dispersing like spray on the seashore. She felt so light, so free, and so much in love, as Sebastian lavished her body with caresses and kisses. It was heaven as she let herself give everything, holding nothing back and screaming with her release as he came in her.

Afterwards, bathed in their own sweat, they lay side by side, just holding each other as if they would never let go, but in the end they decided they must bathe, dress and find some breakfast – and then start to plan the rest of their lives.

They were going straight back to London to arrange things, because it would have to be a quick modest affair with only a few friends invited. In times like these, there was no point in waiting, even though Lizzie knew that she was risking more heartbreak. Sebastian's work was dangerous and she might be a widow again before she'd got used to being a wife, but there was something precious in knowing you belonged to someone and she was willing to take that risk.

Sebastian had told her that he was going to make a will that would leave his house and business to her and when she shook her head, a little embarrassed, he smiled.

‘What else would I do with it, Lizzie? You and Betty are my family now, and the children I hope we'll have one day, my love.'

‘Oh yes, I want several children,' Lizzie said… perhaps even now she was carrying Sebastian's child. The thought made her mouth curve in a smile and she looked up into those wonderful blue eyes. He was so attractive, the little forest of silver hairs at his temples making him even more distinguished and handsome. She loved him far more than she'd loved Harry, with a deep needing, aching wanting that would leave her empty when he left.

‘I know you may not want to live at my house, especially if I don't come back. If you hate the idea when it comes to it, we'll find somewhere else, perhaps nearer to where you work, Lizzie. I've held on to the house because it belonged to my family, but I can live anywhere.'

‘Let's leave that until the time comes,' Lizzie said and kissed him, wanting to block out the possibility that he might not return. ‘I don't want to think about the future – I just want to enjoy what we have now, Sebastian.'

She was greedy for every minute with him, savouring every second they spent together, walking, dancing, sitting in the theatre laughing at one of the comedians who were doing their best to lighten the atmosphere of war-torn Britain, because she knew that all too soon Sebastian would have to leave, and this time he would leave a huge hole in her life.

*

‘You spoil me,' Lizzie said as he slipped the beautiful sapphire and diamond ring on her finger, it was not new but an antique, something that had been in his family for generations. ‘I've never seen anything so beautiful. I'm not sure I shall dare to wear it.'

‘You mustn't worry, it will be insured,' Sebastian laughed and swept Betty up from her playpen to show her Mummy's ring. The child laughed with delight and patted his face. ‘You've had to struggle for years, Lizzie. You see, I know more about your family than you realize, my love. Now you are mine, I want to spoil you and this little lady – give you both all the things you've never had. There are other pieces in the bank that match the ring, and they belong to you now, but I know you won't wear them, because they're old-fashioned and ostentatious. One day we'll have them reset in a simpler fashion just for you.' He shifted Betty into one arm and touched the end of Lizzie's nose with one finger. ‘You're a special woman, Lizzie Larch. I'm not sure you realize it yet, but you have it in you to be successful and to be much admired – and you'll do it alone, whether I'm there to cheer you on or not, but remember, even if you can't see or touch me, I'll always be there for you, my darling.'

‘Oh, Sebastian, don't. I need you so much.'

‘I need you more. You may not believe that, Lizzie, because you don't know your own strength yet – but I want you to love me and I promise I'll never stop loving you. Now, I've got another surprise for you…'

‘Not more presents, Sebastian. I don't need them – all I want is you.'

‘Ah, but this is something for Betty – a pretty doll with a china face, the sort you can't buy these days. It's not new, of course, but I think she will like it.' He kissed the child and put her back in her playpen as she struggled to be free.

‘I'm sure she will. How could I say no to a gift for her?' Lizzie kissed him and felt the passion of his embrace in return.

Lizzie smiled, because it was nice being spoiled. From somewhere Sebastian had obtained several extra clothing coupons, which she was able to use to buy a nice suit for her wedding and she'd bought some pretty summer dresses and sun bonnets for Betty too. This spring of 1941 was Betty's first taste of the sunshine, the second spring of the war that was still making itself known across the country.

Lizzie asked if the coupons were black market, but Sebastian shook his head.

‘Don't worry, they're legal. I was owed them,' he told her with a grin that set her heart racing. Lizzie suspected a ruthless streak in him, but something told her she could trust him and she did, because she knew that without him life would seem dull, almost pointless.

‘That's all right then,' she said and smiled at him as he leaned down and kissed her. ‘I love you so much, Sebastian.'

‘Good, because I'm crazy about you, Lizzie. I can't wait to get my wedding ring on your finger – and I want to get to know Betty too. She's your daughter and she'll be mine too. This time we'll take her to the sea with us, because you can't be parted from her again… and I want you to be happy, darling. You mean the world to me…'