Lockdown (18 page)

She pushed against his shoulders. “Stop it! Someone will see us.”

“I don’t care.”

“Jake, stop!” She tipped her head back to look at him. “How many drinks have you had tonight?”

He nodded toward the glass he’d abandoned earlier. “That was my second. Trust me; this has nothing to do with the alcohol.”

“Then what is this about?” Her eyes drifted closed when he drew her earlobe between his teeth. “Please, God…”

“You still want me to stop?” he whispered in her ear.

“Yes, no, I don’t know.” She sighed. “I can’t think straight when you’re doing that.”

He chuckled in her ear. “Let’s go back to my place. You can figure out how you feel about it there.” He tried pulling her toward the door.

“Wait, I have to say good night to Craig and Ava first.”

Jake rolled his eyes. “Fine, but can we make it quick?”

Jessica led him by the hand to wish the bride and groom well, sharing hugs and kisses with both of them, before making their way to the entrance.

Jessica almost ran right into her dance instructor, Rachel, who was dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.

She gave Jessica a watery smile. “You look beautiful, Jessica. It was a lovely wedding. Will you thank Ava for inviting me? I really have to go.”

Jessica held her new friend at arm’s length. “You’ve been crying. What’s wrong?”

She sniffled as she shook her head. “Nothing, it was nothing. Honestly, I have to go.”

Jake frowned. “Hey, Rachel, if someone said or did something to upset you, you know you can tell us, right?”

“It was nothing.”

Tucker approached them, glaring at Rachel. “Are you still here?”

Jessica’s mouth fell open. She’d never seen her brother so openly hostile toward a woman he barely knew. Or did they know each other? Had something happened between them in the weeks since she left Brant?

“Tucker, don’t be so rude. I’m just trying to find out what’s bothering her,” Jessica said.

Tucker sneered at her. “Didn’t she tell you? I told her to get the hell out. She doesn’t belong here.”

Jake glared at him. “What the hell is wrong with you? She’s an invited guest. What gives you the right to ask her to leave?”

Tucker glared right back at his friend as he folded his arms over her chest. “In case it slipped your mind, I’m the goddamn Chief of Police in this town, and when someone’s running an illegal rub and tug in her back room, I make it my business.”

Another tear slid down Rachel’s cheek as she looked from Jake to Jessica. “That’s not the way it is, I swear. Those girls are…” She shook her head. “Forget it; he’s already made up his mind about me. No one will believe me over him.”

Jessica took Rachel’s hands, wishing she could kick her brother where it hurt. He could be such a bully sometimes. “I’ll believe you, honey.”

Rachel smiled. “That’s sweet of you to say, but I don’t want to cause any more problems between you and your brother. I’ll just be on my way. I need to get home anyhow.”

“Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out,” Tucker muttered.

Jake elbowed him in the ribs. “If you don’t shut up, I’m gonna throw you through those goddamn doors.”

Rachel squeezed Jessica’s hand. “It was nice to see you again, Jessica.”

“Wait,” Jessica said, grabbing her friend’s wrist. Rachel seemed so lost and alone, as if she didn’t have a friend in the world or a safe haven to call her own. “Don’t let my brother run you out of town. Please. You have Dixie and me and Ava. We’re your friends. We care about you. We don’t want you to go.”

Rachel brushed a tear off her cheek with the back of her hand. “Thanks for saying that. It means a lot.” She shrugged. “I don’t know. We’ll see.”

“We’ll see?” Tucker said, taking a step forward. “I told you to pack up your shit and get out of town before I throw your sweet little ass in jail.”

“You can’t do that!” Rachel sobbed. “I haven’t done anything illegal.”

“Really? So the girls who were giving blowjobs in your backroom weren’t working for you?”

She looked so desperate, so helpless. “I was just...” She looked to Jessica for support. “I was teaching massage to pick up a few extra bucks. I posted flyers looking for massage clients, but I didn’t know my apprentices were doing anything more than that until…” She thrust a finger in Tucker’s direction. “He told me and threatened to throw me in jail.”

Jessica turned on her brother. “Are you so dense that you can’t see she’s telling the truth?”

“Watch it, little girl,” Tucker growled. “I’m in no fuckin’ mood to listen to you tell me how to do my job.”

“I don’t want to cause any more trouble,” Rachel said, raising a hand. “I’m going. I’m sorry,” she said, looking at Tucker. “Really, I am.”

He scowled as he watched her leave. “Crazy bitch,” he muttered.

Jessica pushed him hard. “You can be such an asshole sometimes. Can’t you see she’s a sweet girl who’s just trying to catch a break?”

Tucker scoffed. “She’s working as a madam when she’s not teaching wannabe strippers to pole dance and you’re trying to tell me she’s a sweet girl?”

Jessica set her hands on her hips as she glared up at her brother. “Don’t you ever get tired of being so goddamn self-righteous?”

Jake smirked. “She’s right, you know.”

“Fuck off,” Tucker said, waving his hand toward the door. “Get her out of here. I’m tired of dealing with all this shit tonight.” 

Jake grinned. “Gladly.”

Jessica was quiet on the ride back to his place, and Jake tried not to push her, but his concern made it impossible not to pry. Her entire life had changed since the last time they were intimate
—
new town, new friends, new job, new home, new
boyfriend
? Jake had to know.

“So your date, what was his name?”

She cleared her throat and clasped her hands in her lap. “Bill.”

“Right, Bill. Ava said you two went to college together?” He gripped the steering wheel, trying, but failing, to act nonchalant. Talking to the woman he loved about the new man in her life was torture. “I don’t remember you mentioning him back then.”

She shrugged. “I don’t recall. I may have.”

Jake sighed when it became obvious she wasn’t going to offer any new information. “Jess, I need to know if you have feelings for this guy.”

She looked out the window. “He’s a nice guy. I like him a lot.”

He felt the frustration in the tense set of his jaw. “That doesn’t really answer my question. Can you see a future with him?” He didn’t know how he would respond if she said she could. He wanted her to be happy, but he couldn’t stand by and watch her build a life with someone else.

“It’s too soon to tell.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. They weren’t there yet, and if tonight went as planned, they would never get there. He reached across the seat to claim her hand before brushing her knuckles with his lips. “I missed you so damn much, sweetness.”

“I… missed you, too.” She bit her bottom lip. “You have to know that leaving Brant, and you, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t go on living that way. It was too damn hard.”

He got a taste of what he’d put her through when she left. A taste of his own medicine was a bitter pill to swallow, but he knew he deserved it. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Jess. I made so many mistakes. If I could go back…”

She shook her head. “Ah, if only we could request a do-over, right?” She smiled. “But of course we can’t. We have to live with the mistakes we’ve made, don’t we?”

Jake felt the weight of her words settle over him. Was she trying to tell him it was too late for them? He pulled the truck into his driveway and cut the engine. “Will you give me a chance to make this right? Please?” He knew he sounded desperate, but he was beyond caring. The only thing that mattered to him now was keeping her here with him, where she belonged.

She withdrew her hand from his. “I can’t make any promises, Jake. That wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”

His first impulse was to argue, to fight for them with everything he had, but he couldn’t bully her into loving him or agreeing to spend her life with him. She still loved him or she didn’t; either way, he had to know.

Jake got out of the truck and walked around to the passenger’s side to help her out of the big cab. He opened the door and offered her his hand. “You look so beautiful,” he whispered as he reached for the sparkly comb holding her hair in a fancy twist. The soft blonde waves fell around her shoulders like a veil. “When I saw you walk down that aisle today…”

She closed her eyes as she flattened her palm against his chest. “Please, don’t.”

He gripped her hand and set it over his heart. “I’m going to say what I need to say, no more holding back. I don’t care what anyone thinks. The only thing that matters from this moment forward is you and me, and how we feel about each other.”

She opened her eyes to look at him. “Why? What’s changed?”

“Baby, when I thought I lost you, everything changed. I’m not the same man I was when you left Brant.”

She looked down at their joined hands. “You don’t know how much I want to believe that, but…”

Jake bent down to kiss her lips. He wanted, needed, more, but there would be time for that later. He had a long way to go to earn her trust, and he wasn’t ready to re-claim her body until he knew it was for keeps this time. “Do you still love me?”

She swallowed as her eyes shone with unshed tears. “How can you even ask me that question? I’ve loved you forever. I couldn’t stop if my life depended on it.”

“But when you left…”

“I hoped I could find someone else, fall in love again, but that didn’t mean I expected to fall out of love with you. You’ll always have a piece of my heart, Jake.”

He wasn’t satisfied with a piece of her heart; he wanted it all. He needed her, heart, body, and soul, and he was willing to offer her the same in return. “When you left, there was this huge, gaping void in my life. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.” He smiled as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and watched her turn her cheek into his palm. “That’s when I realized you were the missing piece of the puzzle for me. I have a job I love, a great home and family, and a terrific kid. All in all, I thought I was pretty happy, but then you left, and I started to wonder if I could ever be happy again. It took me about a minute to realize I couldn’t, not without you.”

She shivered and he drew her into his arms. “Let’s get you inside.”

She allowed him to lead her up the stairs and watched him unlock the door.

For the first time in a long time, he felt his hands tremble. He was normally steady enough to hit the bull’s eye ninety percent of the time on the shooting range, but he always got another chance to get it right if he missed. This was his last chance with Jessica, and they both knew it. If he couldn’t convince her he was worth the risk, she would return to her new man and her new life and leave him here, alone, to try and find a way to move on without her.

She turned into his arms as soon as they crossed the threshold. “Jake, you know how much you mean to me, how much I’ll always care for you, but…”

Jake seized her head between his hands and lowered his mouth to hers. He wasn’t going to let her go without a fight this time. Even if it meant using every dirty trick in his arsenal to convince her she was where she needed to be, he was prepared to pull out all the stops. He would never forgive himself if he let her leave knowing he could have said or done more to convince her to stay.   

He slipped his tongue past the crease in her mouth and he could sense her internal war.

Her response was tentative at first until she finally threaded her hands through his hair and surrendered to the force of a connection that was beyond their control.

Whether she realized it or not, she owned him. There would never be another woman who could make him feel this all-consuming, mind-numbing oblivion where nothing else mattered. The world, his world, began and ended with her, her unique flavor, the scent of her arousal coupled with the citrusy scent of her shampoo, the feel of her soft curves filling his hands.