Chapter 11
What in the world was I thinking?
Oakley sidestepped, shifting cautiously around the mat in her classroom at the Y. Tanner pursued, watching her intently. Last time they sparred, she ended up flat on her back with his mouth sealed over hers. Not that being kissed by a human replica of Adonis made for a bad afternoon. In fact, the action flipped her tummy, filled her dreams, and infected her with a craving for more. The downside remained that Tanner appeared interested in nothing more than a roll in the hay. Wham, bam, goodbye ma'am. On the other hand, she saw something deeper and longer-lasting in the potential relationship. Something she dared not set her hopes on, lest they end up smashed like an after-Halloween pumpkin.
He moved with the ease of a jungle cat, prowling and stalking, until he found an opportunity to jab, grab, or kick. It took all her skill and concentration just to stay barely out of his reach. The entire time she realized one fact of utmost importance—Tanner could wipe the floor with her at any moment with little difficulty. His strength, size, speed, and advanced training made her realize he toyed with her like a cat with a mouse.
She spun, tossing out a roundhouse kick that Tanner not only blocked but managed to take advantage of. Throwing his weight against her front side, he sent her tumbling to the mat.
Oakley rolled over to her back, looking up at him. The letch grinned at her as he offered his hand. Taking it, she allowed him to pull her upright.
"Nice move, but your timing was off."
"You're just too fast. I've never practiced with anyone near your caliber." She caught her breath.
Tanner shrugged. "Never let it be said the Marines do anything half-assed."
She grinned. "Well, let's hope that I don't have to fend off a Marine attacker then."
"I'll show you a few tricks, if you'd like." He stepped close enough to tug on her braid.
"That would be great."
He positioned himself directly in front of her. "Okay. Let's start with this."
Thirty minutes later, Oakley panted as sweat rolled down her back and face. Her bangs clung to her damp forehead, but with hard effort and persistence, along with a slave driver for an instructor, she mastered the handful of defense moves Tanner showed her.
"Are you going to take Sam up on his offer?" she asked, using a dry towel from her bag to rub the moisture from her face.
Tanner stood relaxed, his breathing normal, and only the mildest sheen of perspiration marred his brow. "My job isn't nine-to-five or on a set schedule. I don't know how I could instruct a class when I may or may not be here for weeks on end." He took a deep swallow of water from a plastic bottle.
Oakley followed suit, draining half of her bottle in a few gulps. "You would make an excellent instructor. Heck, you taught me easily enough."
His eyes twinkled. "You motivated me."
"Uh-huh. Just how did I do that?" She eyed him with skepticism.
"I get to put my hands on you in order to show you those movements." His left dimple showed. "Not bad at all. Although, I believe we should try it without clothing."
She gasped. "Sparring naked?" Her face heated at his words.
Pearly white teeth sparkled. "Oh, yeah, I could…"
Oakley immediately shushed him with her hand over his mouth until he licked her palm with that talented tongue. "You're sooo bad." Slowly, she removed her hand.
"Want to find out how bad I can be?" His wicked smile spoke loudly of his thoughts.
She pondered the offer for a couple of heartbeats before reason kicked in. Sure, he probably excelled at sex. His body made her drool. His kiss took her breath away, and more than likely, he would play her like a violin string. As tempting as that sounded, she refused to fall for his easy pick-up line. "Nah, I think I'll stick with ignorance. Much safer that way." She flashed him a grin with a flutter of her eyelashes.
"Baby, you don't know what you're missing." He stepped close, pulling her into his embrace.
She snuggled flush against him, feeling the hard muscles meshing against her soft flesh. A prominent lump caught her attention. Surprised, her gaze flew to his face.
He grinned wickedly down at her. Watching her for a long moment, he leaned down.
Oakley closed her eyes, reveling in the sensation when their lips met. Soft and easy, Tanner led the foray, first a chaste re-acquaintance before probing deeper, exploring and igniting her desire for more. She gave back as she could, meeting his tongue in an age old game of tag.
Grabbing her hips, he pulled her firmly against his groin.
This time she didn't protest. Instead, a soft moan escaped her throat at his actions. Fire licked at her belly, spreading throughout her body.
He cupped her bottom, giving a gentle squeeze, all the time distracting her with kisses, providing a constant dose of lustful pleasure.
"I want you. Let's go to my place. I'll strip you down." His tongue flicked over her sensitive earlobe. "Do you know how much I want to taste you, to kiss you all over?"
Oakley balked. Kissing she could deal with. Blatant, naked, body-fluid swapping sex flashed whispers of uncertainty through her mind.
"I'm not sure." She worried her bottom lip while looking directly at his chest. She wanted him. But someone like her didn't sleep with a guy she'd only known for four days. For the first time, temptation lured her to throw caution to the wind and simply enjoy life's offerings in the form of Tanner Owens. She liked him as a person, found the idea of sleeping with him more erotic and exciting than scary, and she somehow trusted him despite knowing basically nothing about the man. What did that say about her level of sanity? Or was it simple lust talking?
Tanner reached down and placed a finger under her chin, lifting it until she met his eyes. "I wouldn't hurt you, if that's what you're worried about."
Oakley shook her head. "It's not that. I really do trust you."
"Then what is it?"
"I'm not good…"
"At sex?" He smiled wide, showing lines of straight teeth. "I somehow doubt that. Any woman with your flexibility and energy has to set the sheets on fire."
Did that line actually work with the women in bars?
She shook her head. Of course it did. Women visited those places to fish for men. One glance at Tanner and they would be planning how to bait the hook. Once they heard such mumbo jumbo, they would sink their hooks deep and bring home their prize. Which led to the question of who would end up stuffed? Heat blasted across her face with such a naughty thought.
He nuzzled her cheek before nibbling on her earlobe. "We can go to my place. My bed is big enough for two."
How many other women had shared his bed? Instead of encouraging her, it stiffened her resolve. "Tanner, I can't."
Leaning back, he watched her while still holding her with both arms loosely wrapped around her waist. "Why not?"
She sighed. Time to put up or shut up. "I don't have casual sex. One night stands aren't my thing. If I'm going to have sex with someone, it has to be in a relationship, one of commitment, where both parties want to be with only that other person."
His brown eyes flickered as he stood quiet for a long moment.
Oakley held her breath, afraid her truthful words drove a wedge between them. She certainly didn't want to lose him, but she couldn't be another notch on his bedpost either.
"Fair enough." Instead of pushing her away, he pulled her closer and placed a tender kiss on her crown.
"You aren't upset with me?"
He allowed enough space for her to see his expression. "Be upset with a beautiful woman saving her virtue for me? How could that be bad?" A wide smile appeared on his face.
She released a pent-up breath; her shoulders relaxed at his words. "So, you want to give this a try?"
"Yeah."
"Good." With a grin, she latched her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply to seal the deal. Before he had time to get carried away, she pulled back. "One step at a time."
Frustration crossed his face before a glimmer sparked in his eyes. "Just remember baby, while I do possess patience, I excel at persuasion."
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Oakley teased, running her hands across his chest and down his belly and earning a low growl for her exploration.
"Keep that up and you'll be flat on your back on the mat with both legs up in the air."
His blunt wording blasted heat to her cheeks. Accepting the warning, she removed her hands reluctantly, already missing the feel of strong muscles just under his shirt, bulges and valleys she ached to explore further. But not in the middle of a busy gym on a Monday where anyone in the world could walk in on them.
"Okay. So, what do you want to do now?"
His eyebrow arched in challenge.
"Not that!" If possible, her face heated all the more.
His deep laughter echoed through the room. "Chicken."
"Bok, bok."
Together they gathered up their belongings before striding out of the room.
Chapter 12
"Why are you standoffish with men?"
The question pulled Oakley from her musings as Tanner drove them back home from the Y. She glanced over, met his eyes, and then looked down. Although she realized this would come up at some point, she still preferred to avoid such a painful explanation.
No pain, no gain.
She took a deep breath, focusing on the road ahead. "I had a roommate my freshman year in college, Sarah. She was most shy girl I'd ever seen when it came to men. She rarely spoke to guys and stammered when she tried. I wanted to help her."
"And?" Tanner prodded when she lapsed into silence.
"There was a guy in my math class. He had an outgoing personality, but seemed common and nice, not really popular or into frats that I knew of. Matt was his name. I thought he might be a good guy for Sarah to date, helping to build her confidence with men. She liked him from a distance, so I set up a date between them."
"I take it something happened?"
Oakley nodded. "She came home from her date, clothes dirty and ripped, crying hysterically. I realized what must have happened, called security, took her to the nearest emergency room, and called her parents."
"The guy…"
"Matt date-raped her. The first date of her life, with a guy I set her up with." Her gaze lowered. "Sarah was completely traumatized. Her parents removed her from school and took her home. I kept up with her for a few months before she quit replying to my communications. I couldn't forgive myself for setting her up with a rapist."
Tanner eased the SUV into the parking spot in front of their condo and turned off the engine. Turning, he reached out to cup her chin, lifting until she met his eyes. "First off, no one knew under his deceitful exterior, there lay an evil monster. Secondly, he would have raped anyone given the opportunity."
"The opportunity I provided." Oakley met his look without flinching. The guilt had eased over time, but she'd learned to stand up, take responsibility, and work that much harder to improve.
"You're just as much a victim in this as she was."
Perplexed, she tilted her head, her brows furrowing. "How do you see that?"
He cupped her cheek, tenderly caressing with his thumb. "You carry the guilt and an innate wariness of men."
She blinked at his spot-on analysis. "Yes." Trying to hide her flaws rarely worked with ordinary people. Tanner's keen observation skills and understanding of body language would catch her every time.
"Damn. Considering what you've been through, it's amazing you aren't digging for your pepper spray to use on me."
"I saw a counselor for a while. Someone who understood what I had been through. She helped me a lot." She dared not delve too deeply into whom for fear the cat would escape the bag on her plans to get Tanner to talk to Dr Miller.
"Rapist bastards have no place on this earth," Tanner growled before his tone eased. "Can you be with a man?"
Oakley grinned at his odd wording and sudden change in direction. "Well, I intend to find out when a certain Marine woos me and convinces me he just might stick around for a bit because he enjoys my company and wants to be with me."
The expression on Tanner's face amused her, like a mixture of fear, surprise, and sensual wanting battling to win out.
His lips slowly turned up. "I think I'm up to the task." He sealed the deal with a light brushing of his lips over hers.
"Good. I have high expectations, you know," she teased, trying to lighten the moment.
His eyebrow shot up.
"I'm an avid reader of romance novels, you see."
Tanner groaned dramatically, leaning back in his driver's seat. "I should have known." His lips twitched. "Do I need to read a couple, just in case, so I won't fall short?"
Oakley glanced up from under her eyelashes. "Oh, from what I felt earlier, long seems like a much better description than short."
Tanner burst out laughing. "With that kind of talk, we'll be playing show and tell before nightfall."
"Hmmmm." She pretended to consider the possibility.
"Come on, minx." Tanner gestured toward her door. "Your dog needs to pee."
"Spoilsport."
He snorted. "A man needs time to prepare for such great expectations from his lady."
"I'm your lady?"
He just grinned and slid out of the vehicle.
* * * *
Tanner watched Oakley stride to her door, unlock it, and greet Hercules. She grabbed the dog's collar and led him around the corner, presumably to do his business near the woods.
The distasteful details of her past rattled him. More than once during her story, he thanked the powers that be that she wasn't the one raped while stifling his instant fury and intense wish to track down the rapist and send him personally to hell.
Yet, for all the trauma she suffered out of the incident, she handled herself rather well.
I saw a counselor
. The words replayed through his mind. He gave her credit for seeking help and muscling up to deal with her guilt. From what he saw, she lived a normal life. Maybe she didn't date and sidestepped intimacy for the moment, but many others would have ostracized themselves from typical college society after seeing what happened to her roommate. The fact she responded to his kisses and even considered a full-fledged relationship with him still astounded and humbled him.
Guilt. She dealt with that nasty emotion much better than he. Somehow, she managed to overcome the intensity, the mind numbing feelings that struck every now and again, taking over everyday life.
Someone who understood what I had been through.
A stigma still existed for Marines that sought psychological help, one he hoped lessened each year. Pride and stubbornness. That's what prevented him from looking to another for advice on how to handle those nightmares, the guilt, the need to push himself to exhaustion to prove he was worthy of living while others died in the line of battle just steps away. He hated to admit that vulnerability.
He thought about Oakley once more. Perhaps for her, he could give a relationship a try. All previous women were simply a means to wind down, to have fun, to pass the time. None of them stuck to him like a burr as Oakley did. Those green eyes dipped into his soul, teased him into joining her amusement and made him feel like a real man, a complete man. She looked at him with wonder and, more importantly, trust. If she could overcome her issues to be with him, he could do no less.
He would do this for her. And, somewhere deep down, where no one would know, he could admit he also wanted to do it for himself. Maybe not a shrink, not just yet. But, there was someone else…
Letting himself in his side of the condo, Tanner shut the door and sat down at the kitchen table. He pulled out his phone along with a slip of paper. After staring at the number for a long moment, he bit the bullet and punched in the numbers. "It's Tanner Owens. Can we talk?"
* * * *
Oakley ushered Hercules back into the house, somewhat surprised when she didn't see Tanner waiting for them. Curiosity got the better of her as she headed to his front door. Just as she raised her hand to knock, the door opened.
"Oh." She recovered quickly. "I wondered where you wandered off to."
He smiled down at her. "Missing me already. That's a good sign."
She rolled her eyes. "Uh-huh. So, what are your plans?"
"I've got to meet someone in a few minutes. Not sure when I'll be back, but hopefully sometime this evening."
Disappointment surged through her, but she beat it back down. The man earned some free time, and she couldn't expect him to spend every free minute entertaining her. Besides, he probably had errands and chores to complete before his next mission pulled him away for who knew how long. "That's okay. I need to do some computer work. Finals are next week and I need to be caught up so I can post grades quickly for the students." That certainly was the truth. If she didn't spend time now catching up on her work, she would be up late again, diligently answering emails, checking to make sure assignments were complete and turned in, and preparing the students for their test.
Tanner leaned down and tipped her chin up for a kiss. "Don't work too hard. I would hate for you to be too fatigued to enjoy my seduction."
Heat flashed across her face even as she shook her head. "You're incorrigible."
"Yep."
With that said, he lumbered off to his SUV.