Authors: Danielle Steel
“Go back to him, Kate,” he said softly, looking like the friend he had once been as she watched his eyes. “I've never understood what you two had, or why, but whatever it is, it's powerful for both of you, you deserve to have it, if you want it that much.” She had all but died when he left. There was nothing left. She felt dead inside. “Tell him you're free now. He has a right to know.” Andy had spent two years feeling guilty over the lies he'd told Joe, particularly once he saw that Kate had closed all doors to him. But he had no idea how to undo the damage he had done to her, in Joe's eyes. And he didn't have the courage to tell Kate. But as much as she and Joe loved each other, or had, Andy suspected Joe would forgive her anything.
“He's engaged to someone else,” she said with somber eyes.
“So what?” Andy smiled. “We were married when he came back. If he loves you, he'll want you now, no matter what.”
“Is that how it works?” She smiled back at Andy for the first time in a long time. For two years, he had been her jailer and nothing more. Maybe now, in freeing her, they could at least be friends again. It was what he had hoped when he had decided to let her go. Even he wanted more. “It's too late for us.” Andy knew she was talking about Joe. “Our timing is pretty grim. He's engaged.”
“I remember when everyone thought he was dead, and you still believed he was alive. You've been dead for two years, Kate. You need a life again. All you've ever wanted was to be with him.”
“I know,” she said softly. “Crazy, isn't it? I always did. The first time I met him, I was hooked. It was the damnedest thing. Like some giant fishhook in my gut. We never seem to be able to cut the line.”
“Then don't. Swim back to him. Do whatever you have to do, but follow your dream.” He had, but the dream he had followed had belonged to someone else, and he knew it always would. She had always been Joe's and never his.
“Thank you,” she said, and he bent down to kiss her cheek.
“Get some sleep,” he said, and left her room.
She lay in bed thinking about Andy after he left her room that night. It was strange how little she felt, not sadness, not relief. She felt nothing at all, and hadn't for two years. She had been numb. She thought of what he'd said to her about Joe, and wondered if it was even possible anymore. Follow your dream… swim … fly… go to him… She smiled as she turned over and went to sleep. It was hard to believe that the dream would ever
be hers. It had always been just out of reach. And it was again. He was engaged, or maybe even married by then. She felt she had no right to turn his life upside down again. Whatever he had now, he had a right to it. And it was odd to realize that in the end she had lost them both, Andy and Joe. Whatever Andy said now, out of guilt, she knew it was too late to call Joe. Her gift to him this time was to let him go.
Andy took her to the hospital when the baby came. It was a little girl this time. They named her Stephanie. And two weeks later, Andy moved out. It was surprisingly unemotional. Everything between them had been dead for so long that neither of them felt anything but relief.
Kate left for Reno with both children and a nurse when Stephanie was four weeks old. She stayed for six weeks, and came back on the train, divorced, on December 15th. She had been legally married to Andy for three and a half years, and in reality only for one. She heard from a friend that Andy was going out with someone else by then, and supposedly madly in love. She hoped he was. They had both been lonely for long enough. She wished for him that he would marry again and have more kids. He deserved a lot better than she'd given him, although they both loved Stephanie and Reed. He was going to see them every Wednesday afternoon, and alternate weekends. It had all been so neatly and quietly done, as though it had never happened at all. Now that it was over, it seemed like a dream. Her parents mourned the marriage far more than either she or Andy did. They had never fully accepted or understood why it died.
A week after they got back from Reno, she took Reed to buy a Christmas tree, and she felt like herself for the first time in years. They sang Christmas carols as they walked along, and when they got to the lot on the corner, Reed picked an enormous Christmas tree. She was telling the men where to deliver it, as Reed jumped up and down clapping his hands, when she saw someone get out of a car with his head down in the cold. It had just started to snow. He was wearing a hat and a dark coat, and she knew it was him even before he turned around, and as soon as he did, he saw her. It was Joe. He stopped and then smiled at her. They hadn't talked on the phone in months, or seen each other in two years.
As he walked toward her, she smiled in spite of herself. Destiny. There he was. Just seeing him reminded her of the magic they had always shared. Their paths crossed and then disappeared again, separately, and then suddenly there he would be. At the barbecue, on the ship, at the ball when she was seventeen. It had been twelve years since then. And just seeing him brought back the dream.
“Hello, Kate.” He had come to buy a Christmas tree. She didn't even know where he was anymore. California, New York. Somewhere else. She hadn't called or written to him. They had put each other through enough two years before. It was done, she had told herself. If nothing else, she owed him peace. But some power or force had intervened, and brought him back to cross her path yet again.
“Hello, Joe.” She smiled at him. It was so good to see him in spite of everything. He looked the same. And her heart ached at the sight of him.
“How's your life these days?” There was a lot he wanted to know, but it seemed awkward to ask with a lot of people milling around, and Reed standing next to her. He was old enough to understand what they said.
Kate laughed, remembering Andy's words before he left. Tell him. Call him. Find him. He had found her. She decided to jump in. “I'm divorced.”
“When did that happen?” He looked startled, but pleased.
“We got back from Reno last week. I took the kids with me.”
“Kids?” he seemed surprised.
“Stephanie. She's three months old. I got drunk last New Year's Eve.” It was a lot of information to share over a Christmas tree, after two years, and Joe looked amused. “What about you?”
“I got drunk last New Year's Eve too, but I don't have anything to show for it. I got engaged in June. Things are a little rocky these days. She hates my planes.”
“That won't work,” Kate said sensibly. She was basking in the pleasure of just looking at him. They both knew, just standing there, that nothing had changed. It was still there for both of them. Just the way it had been since the first day. What they had shared had been infinitely rare, and still was.
“Will we work, Kate?” he asked, as he moved closer to her. They had already put each other through a lot of pain. Maybe it was too late for them, there was always that possibility. Or the chance that they'd get lucky this time if they tried, if they dared. Maybe one day they'd have to be brave enough to take the chance, and do it right. And as he looked at her, all the terrifying things
Andy had said about her two years before no longer mattered to him.
“I don't know. What do you think?” She was game. But she didn't want to say it to him.
There had been so much water under the bridge, oceans of it. Wars, and the empire he'd built, her marriage, their affair two years before, and now her divorce. They had come together and apart so many times, in so many ways, and yet the bond was still there, the magic, the flame. They could both feel it as they stood looking at each other in the snow.
“Go home, Mommy,” Reed said, tugging at her arm, he was getting impatient waiting around, and he didn't know who the man was.
“In a minute, sweetheart.” Kate gently touched the child's cheek with her hand.
“What do you say?” Joe asked, looking at her intently with his blue eyes, as his hat got slowly covered with the falling snow.
“Now? You want to know
now?”
She stared at Joe in disbelief.
“We've waited twelve years, Kate,” he said calmly. It seemed long enough to him.
“Yes, we have. If I had to give you an answer right now, I'd say we give it a try.” After she said it, Kate held her breath, not sure what he would think or say, or if her willingness would frighten him and make him run away. But he wasn't going anywhere this time. He looked down at her and stood firm.
“I'd say you're right. We're probably crazy. God knows if this would ever work. Our timing has been rotten so far, but maybe this is our time.” It had never been before.
They were always wanting something different from each other than the other could provide at that moment. It was as though the fates had conspired to keep them apart. And now suddenly there they were. And with any luck at all, maybe this was finally the right time, for both of them.
“What about your fiancee?” Kate looked concerned. Andy had ended it for them two years before, maybe now she would. Or someone else.
“Give me an hour. I'll tell her the design has been canceled, she failed the test flight.” He smiled at Kate.
“What about kids?” She was curious about that in case she wanted more. It was a crazy conversation, but so typical of them. They were like lightning flashing through the sky, lighting up each other's worlds.
“You have two kids, I think. Do we have to settle all this right now? I didn't even know I was going to run into you. Is there a chance I'll ever see you again, so we can discuss the rest?” He was laughing at her. And she could see in his eyes that he was happy and no longer afraid. Or at least not then.
“That could be arranged.” She was grinning at him. Life had a way of taking the strangest turns. When you least expected it, you walked right into your dreams, and found yourself where you no longer expected to be. It had been the story of their lives till then.
“Same address?” She nodded. “I'll call you tonight. Just don't get married, or go back to Andy, or run away. Sit tight for a couple of hours and try not to get into trouble, will you please?” he said, looking firmly at her.
“I'll try.” All she could do was smile.
“Good.” He came over and put his arms around her,
as Reed stared up at them, still wondering who he was. “Welcome back, Kate.” Her life had been a wasteland since they'd left each other, and his had mostly been filled with work and planes and recently a woman who got airsick in an elevator and hated flying with him, unlike Kate. Their lives had taken some very crazy turns, and some extremely unusual ones. There was the time he spent in Germany for nearly two years, and her marriage to Andy, and the last two lonely years before he finally let her go. It was hard to believe that their time had finally come. Neither of them was entirely sure it had, but it looked like it. And suddenly there didn't seem to be a moment to waste. He wasn't going to wait another twelve years to work it out. He wasn't going to let her get away this time, or run away himself. “I'll call you in two hours, and I'll come by tonight. There's something I have to do first.” Kate had already figured out what that was. He had an engagement to break. And for once, Kate didn't care what it took for him to come back. She just wanted him. They had climbed Everest to find each other again, and she wasn't going to share the prize with anyone. Joe was hers. She had earned the right to be with him fair and square.
He called her two hours later, and came by at eight o'clock that night after the children were asleep. They were so hungry for each other that they didn't waste any words. They closed her bedroom door and nearly devoured each other. They were like starving people, and they had been for far too long. It had taken them forever to get here, but they were safe at last. Or they hoped they were. It was impossible to know. But at least they had to try. There were no guarantees, there were
only dreams, and as they fell asleep in each other's arms that night, they each knew they were where they wanted to be, and always had.
Joe played with Reed the next morning, while she fed the baby, and then they decorated the tree. He spent Christmas with them, and two days later, he and Kate went to City Hall. They went alone, hand in hand, with no friends and no witnesses, and no false hopes. And they called her parents when they got home. The suddenness of it came as a shock to them, but it was not a total surprise. Her mother reminded her father that she had finally lost a bet to him, over Joe marrying Kate. She had been convinced he never would.
“I never thought I'd see this day,” Liz said in amazement as they hung up the phone. And neither did Kate and Joe. It had taken so long, on an endlessly curvy road.
“Happy?” Joe asked her, as she cuddled up next to him in bed that night.
“Totally,” she said, with a broad smile. She was Mrs. Joe Allbright at last.
He lay looking at her for a long time that night after she fell asleep. Everything about her had always fascinated him, and now she was finally his. He didn't see how it could go wrong. It seemed like the perfect combination to him. He had always been her passion, and she was his dream. Her happy ending had come. And theirs.
19
T
HE FIRST DAYS OF
Joe and Kate's marriage were blissful and exactly what they'd each expected them to be. They were happy and busy. She had hired a nurse to help take care of the kids, so she could have plenty of free time with him. She visited him at the office, gave him advice on some of his projects. She flew with him on weekends, and when he came home at night, he played with the kids. She went to California with him in January, and was enormously impressed by his entire operation there. She even went to Nevada with him, and watched him do his test flights, and afterward, he took her up for a spin. She loved all the wild and crazy things he did. And best of all, he was hers.
“It's a good thing I didn't marry Mary,” he said with a grin after a particularly dicey flight over the desert. He had dazzled Kate with a series of loops and stalls. She had always loved doing that with him. She said it was better than a roller coaster, and nothing he did, no matter how scary, ever made her airsick. She loved flying with him, no matter what he did, although she didn't fly herself anymore. It had been too long.