Lone Star Baby (McCabe Multiples Book 5) (9 page)

“But you have had several casual dating relationships in the past four years that ultimately crashed and burned.”

“Three. But who’s counting?”

“Any particular reason why?”

He could see she was looking for any excuse not to put her heart on the line again. Yet, for practical reasons, he couldn’t sugarcoat his own deficiencies. “Sheryl—the physical therapist—thought I was too much of an enigma for my own good.”

Her elegant brows knit together. She was wearing the denim dress and boots she’d had on the day before. He wasn’t sure if he preferred her in that—undoing all those buttons had been fun—or in nothing but one of his shirts.

The truth was, he liked her in anything or nothing at all. Just so long as she was here.

Violet gave him a curious look. “Did you want to be a mystery?”

He sat and pulled her onto his lap. “No. I just don’t like sitting around dissecting everything to the nth degree.”

His not-too-subtle hint fell on deaf ears.

“What happened with Helen Shinsky?”

So she had kept up on his love life. Even though that particular part of it had occurred mostly in Kerrville, Texas, where the ER physician had worked. Trying not to feel too flattered, he revealed, “She didn’t see me having what it took to ever settle down. So she ended it. Last I heard, she’d found The One and was happily married.”

“And Norah?” Violet persisted.

The wedding planner. “She wanted a soul mate. I wasn’t it.”

“So the common theme in all the breakups was...?”

“They could get only ‘so close to me’ and no closer.”

Which was, he thought, a shame to find they’d all felt that way. All three of the women had had everything he’d been looking for, at least from a subjective angle. Plus, at least he’d been satisfied with the way things had been. It had sucked to find out they hadn’t been.

“Were you trying to keep them at arm’s length?”

“No.”

“Then how come they all felt excluded or shut out in some way?”

Hell if he knew. He’d tried to be forthcoming. Kind. Responsible. He exhaled, aware this was why he sometimes felt so cynical. “I think the common theme was that I didn’t have a romantic bone in my body. Or in other words, I was practical to a fault.”

Violet did not look surprised. He studied her expression, in tune enough with her emotions to see that an enormous red flag had been thrown up. And that did bother him, a lot. “Why do my past failures worry you so much?”

She eased off his lap and walked over to examine the gifts her sisters had brought in. Her gaze averted, she pulled out a stack of white, yellow and blue onesies, and started to sort and fold them all by color. “I just think I ought to know what to expect before I become just another on the string of broken hearts left in your wake.”

This was usually the place where he became really frustrated and called a halt to the conversation, the woman and the relationship.

But not this time.

He didn’t want to lose whatever this was that he had with Violet the same way. So if that meant opening up, a little bit, so be it. He walked over to where she was standing, took her hand in his and turned it palm up.

“It’s not that I don’t want to have the kind of deep, loving marriage that my parents had. Or my sister Erin has with her second husband, Mac Wheeler. It’s just that I don’t seem to have a talent for becoming really close to people, the way you obviously do.” He sighed. “I mean, I’ve got a lot of casual friends I care about, who also care about me. Family...”

“But no one you could really bare your soul to.”

He traced her lifeline with his index finger, admitting, “Not since...”

“Your parents died in that car accident the year we both started med school,” she finished when he found himself unable to go on.

Her intuitiveness rendered him speechless. She put the baby clothing aside and shifted closer. She laced her slender fingers through his consolingly. “I remember how traumatic that was for your entire family.”

Even though, he recalled, she’d been living in Houston at the time and he’d been in Galveston.

Ignoring the lump in his throat, he nodded, acknowledging that it had been one of the roughest times the Monroe clan had ever had. It was also the first time he’d let those closest to him down. But, sadly, not the last.

“I remember Erin had three little kids of her own. And a geologist husband who was almost never around.”

Gavin exhaled, reflecting, too, on his sister’s grit. “Yet Erin insisted I stay in med school while she remained in Laramie, taking care of our three younger siblings, the ranch and the Western wear store in town.”

“You felt guilty?”

He closed his eyes against the crushing weight of it. “And grief-stricken.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“As if you were still functioning yet strangely detached?”

“Yeah, that, too.”

A commiserating silence fell. “I felt numb after Sterling died, too.”

Strange, that even then they’d been on parallel tracks, he thought. “How long did yours last?”

“Until just recently,” Violet admitted softly.

Again, it had been the same for him.

He’d sort of sleepwalked through his previous relationships, including his engagement to Penelope. Only in the past few weeks had he begun to think that maybe he could have more than work and fun, extended family, friends.

He stared down at her, admiring her grit. “You always seemed so strong.”

“Because I had a mission.”

Given to her by the death of her fiancé. “Becoming an oncologist.”

“The harder I worked, the better I felt,” she admitted with customary idealism.

“Same here. Although when it came to my family, I always wished I could have done more.”

Encouraged to go on by the understanding reflected in her gaze, he explained, “Which is why I elected to come back to Laramie for my residency. So I could be close enough to help out more. Although, once Erin married Mac and my sibs all left for college, I wasn’t nearly as needed.”

“So you moved into your own place and started dating.”

He grimaced. “Badly, according to my reviews.”

“Don’t beat yourself up. That’s more than I did. I’ve yet to actually go out on a date with anyone since Sterling died.”

“But you’re thinking about it.”

“In the abstract maybe.” Violet raked her teeth across her lower lip. “But the real question is...where do you and I go from here?”

Although not normally one to put a label on things, Gavin saw the rationale for spelling things out in this circumstance. Especially if it made Violet feel better. “We’re co-guardians—temporarily,” he said.

“Check.”

“Friends.”

“Also check!” she affirmed with a smile.

He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss into the silky-soft center of her palm. “Lovers.”

There was the briefest hesitation in her eyes. A catch in her breath. “As in...exclusive?”

Wanting absolutely no doubt about that, he brought her all the way against him. “You’re damn right we’re exclusive.”

She moved out of the circle of his arms and stood. “That sounds good to me. As long as you understand that the ‘living together’ part is only for as long as we have Ava. As soon as she’s placed with her adoptive family, you and I will go back to our separate spaces.”

“But still remain lovers and friends.” He wanted to go on the record about that, too.

She nodded. “At least until I leave for a new job and the next chapter of my life, anyway.”

Then, he could see she was thinking, they would have to see. Luckily, he had plenty of time to convince her otherwise.

* * *

T
HE
DOORBELL
RANG
just as Gavin was about to hit the sack and Violet was readying to go to the hospital to see Ava. She turned to him. “Expecting someone?”

He shook his head.

But then, she thought as he opened the door, they hadn’t been expecting her sisters to pay them a visit earlier that day, either.

Gavin stared at his little brother in shock. “What are you doing here?” His brow furrowed. “Why aren’t you at school?”

Nicholas shrugged as he stepped inside. “I dropped out.”

Gavin glared. “Tell me you’re kidding.”

He wasn’t.

Thinking the two men might need a peacekeeper, Violet stayed where she was.

“The accident made me see I’m wasting my time going to college,” Nicholas told his brother. “So I talked to the dean. I told him that for financial reasons related to the wreck I had to withdraw and needed at least a partial refund on my tuition and room and board for this semester. And I got it.”

Gavin’s scowl deepened. “They let you quit, just like that?”

Nicholas flushed. “Well, the dean said I couldn’t come back unless I reapplied and was admitted to the university again, and that because of my doing this, the odds would be stacked against me. But that’s okay, because I don’t really want to go back.”

Gavin looked at Nicholas as though he couldn’t believe how lame his brother was being. He looked at Violet. “Help me out here. Explain to him why you never, ever, make important life decisions in the wake of a traumatic accident. And why it was even more stupid of him to drop out of school on a whim.”

I am not the person you should be asking this.

Nicholas squinted at Violet, seeming to remember what Gavin clearly did not. “Didn’t you drop out of med school or something at one point?”

Violet kept her expression inscrutable. “When my fiancé was diagnosed with cancer. Yes, I did.”

Nicholas brightened, apparently thinking he’d found a kindred soul. “Do you regret it?”

“No, but...” Violet felt as though she was walking the plank here. “Our situations were different.”

“And maybe they weren’t,” Nicholas said with a “So there!” look aimed at Gavin.

Gavin’s expression looked as if it had been carved in granite. Apparently irritated she’d been no help, he turned back to his brother, demanded impatiently, “So what’s the plan?”

Nicholas straightened. “I’ve already invested all the money I got back in the stock market.”

Gavin groaned.

“Now all I have to do is go back to living at the ranch, with Mac and Erin and the kids, and working at the store, until the profits start rolling in.”

Gavin’s gaze narrowed all the more. “What did Erin say about this?”

Nicholas hesitated. “I thought they’d support my plan, since both Mac and Erin are really savvy business people, but they don’t, so...I was hoping maybe you’d talk to them on my behalf, get them to stop being so disappointed in me.”

Gavin shook his head. “Sorry, bud. I agree with them.”

“I should have figured as much,” Nicholas muttered. “Thanks for nothing.” He spun around and headed out the door.

An uncomfortable silence fell.

Violet released the breath she’d been holding. “You were a little hard on him, don’t you think?”

“I’m not going to sugarcoat the situation. He’s making a huge mistake.”

And so are you.
“Yes, but it’s done now,” she said evenly.

Gavin took off his scrub shirt and the T-shirt under it in one fell swoop. “All the more reason my little brother needs to keep thinking about it, until he realizes the enormity of what he’s done.” He stalked toward the bedroom.

“And maybe,” Violet said, following him as far as the open bathroom door, “he’s not the only one who should do some soul-searching.”

“You saying I’m in the wrong?” He turned the shower on and she spun around before she could see his pants come off, too.

“I’m saying it wouldn’t hurt you to have a little heart.”

Chapter Nine

Eight hours later Violet was in the baby boutique on Main Street, trying to find a going-home-from-the-hospital outfit for Ava, when she sensed someone coming up behind her.

She turned. Gavin stood in front of her.

Her heart skipped a beat as she let her gaze rove over his freshly shaved face and damp, sexy hair.
He sure cleans up well
, she thought wistfully. Then catching herself, bit her lip. So much for trying to act as though he had no impact on her. Glad there was only the store clerk here to observe any of this, and she was on the other side of the store, Violet settled one hand on her hip. “What are you doing here?”

“Bridgette told me where to find you.”

So, he’d been to the hospital nursery, too.

Violet sighed. “I’ll have to talk to her.”

He cut her off before she could go to the next table of layette items. “I’m sorry.” He looked at her for a long moment. “I shouldn’t have dragged you into our family squabbles.”

The spacious store interior suddenly felt a lot smaller. “It’s Nicholas you should be apologizing to.”

“Already did.” He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “You’re right—it’s his life to live, his mistakes to make.”

Violet rolled her eyes. “I hope you didn’t put it like
that
.”

“I said the first and left off the last. Although it was implied.” He grinned.

Violet muttered in exasperation under her breath and moved to the next display. Most of the special outfits were white. She wanted pink.

Gavin moved with her. “Bridgette also said she thought you were upset when you left the hospital.”

He was standing so close they were practically touching. Violet shut her eyes. “Now I’m really going to have to talk to her.”

When she opened them again, the clerk was disappearing into the stock room.

Gavin turned to lounge against the table, facing her. “Ava’s doing okay...” he continued speculatively.

Tenderness rolled through Violet at the memory of the infant’s last feeding, which had happened less than an hour ago. “Ava’s doing
great
,” she corrected.

Gavin reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “And I’m guessing by the fact you haven’t told me to get lost yet that your low mood is not about me.”

It wasn’t. Even though they’d had their first tiff as lovers, she had forgiven him almost as soon as the words were out. She just hadn’t gotten around to making up with him. Mostly because she thought at least a little time away from each other might give her some much-needed perspective.

“So...?” he prompted.

Violet bit her lip. She had to confide in someone. And since Gavin was also a physician of record on the case... “I had that patient consult with Tara Warren this afternoon.”

His look said he knew very well which one. “Didn’t go well?”

Violet shook her head. “The Willoughbys are still reeling from the diagnosis,” she said quietly, her heart breaking for both of them. “Not surprisingly, they didn’t like any of the options presented to them.” And had gone home, with Wanda still crying, Carlson completely demoralized, to think about it.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“You and me both.” Violet cleared her throat. “Anyway, I knew the boutique was open until nine this evening, and I thought it might be a good time to get something for Ava to wear when we take her home.”

Gavin’s brow lifted. “I thought your sisters brought us a ton of newborn clothes.”

“This is a special day for Ava. It should be commemorated in some way. I didn’t expect you to understand.”

“Because I’m a man?” He tilted his head to one side, ribbing her with his gaze. “Or because I don’t seem to have a romantic bone in my body?”

Actually, he did. He just didn’t realize it yet. “Ha-ha,” she retorted, aware the mischievous sparkle in his eyes had brought a telltale heat to her face. Determined not to give the returning clerk anything to gossip about, she asked cantankerously, “Now, do you want to help me with this task or not?”

He turned and selected the very outfit she’d had her eye on since she’d entered the store. “Oh, I’ll help,” he vowed, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “With this and anything else you might need.”

That, Violet thought, was what she had been afraid of all along.

* * *

“S
O
. H
OW
DO
you want to do this?” Violet asked several days later when the Big Day had finally arrived.

Bridgette stepped forward, discharge papers in hand. “Well, one of you has to ride in the wheelchair while you hold Ava. It’s the rule. Because if you were carrying her in your arms and one of you tripped on the way out the door...”

“Liability issues?” Violet said.

“And an ER visit,” Gavin quipped, “for one, if not both, given a parent’s propensity for twisting themselves into all sorts of shapes to protect their young from harm.”

Except she wasn’t a parent, Violet thought wistfully. Nor was he. They were guardians and temporary ones at that.

“I think Gavin should sit in the wheelchair,” she said. “Since I’m going to be the one driving us all back to his place.”

Bridgette quirked a brow.

“We only had one car seat. We decided to put it in my SUV, since I’m the one not currently working full-time.”

“You could always borrow another safety seat,” the pediatric nurse said. “Then you’d both have one.”

Gavin shook his head. “She’s not going to be with us that long, sis.”

“Social services hopes to find a place for her within the month,” Violet added.

“If you-all don’t change your minds,” Bridgette said with all the impertinence of a little sister.

“We’re not going to change our minds,” Gavin and Violet said in perfect unison.

Bridgette gave Ava one last cuddle. “Famous last words,” she said softly, smiling down at Ava. “I mean, look at her. Have you ever seen a cuter, more adorable baby girl?”

No, they hadn’t, Violet thought wistfully. But thus far it appeared she was the only one who had developed a raging case of baby fever. And that being the case, there was no choice but to stick to the original plan.

While she struggled to curtail her feelings, Gavin got reluctantly into the wheelchair. Baby Ava—who was bundled up against the cool morning in her adorable pale pink onesie, knit sweater, cap and matching blanket—was handed to him. Before they were halfway down the hall, some of their colleagues appeared to cheer their exit.

Gavin mugged comically at all the attention.

Violet grinned and laughed. Like Gavin, she was happy and relieved the newborn was finally well enough to be released from the hospital.

She was also envious.

In another lifetime it might have been her sitting in that wheelchair, en route home, with her newborn in her arms, a loving husband beside her.

In another lifetime all her dreams might have come true, the way they had for four of her sisters.

Instead, she was on the verge of falling irrevocably in love with a little girl she couldn’t keep, and equally in lust with a man who was every bit as pragmatic as she was idealistic.

He was okay with having only half of what he wanted.

Whereas she, Violet knew, never would be.

* * *

A
LTHOUGH
SHE
’
D
BEEN
briefly awake and looking around as they put her into the safety seat, Ava was sound asleep when they arrived at Gavin’s home.

Carefully, he lifted the baby carrier out of the vehicle and carried it into the house, where disorganized stacks of baby things still awaited them.

Violet had meant to organize this morning, getting everything ready while Gavin was on duty at the hospital. Instead, she’d gotten caught up in a renovation emergency at McCabe House. The teardown of one wall had revealed a long-existing leak in one of the pipes. A plumber had been called, the damage assessed, and the emergency repairs approved by both her and the board of directors. By then, it had been almost noon and she’d had to rush to the hospital for Ava’s release, which had been timed to occur as soon as Gavin’s shift ended.

Now, here they were with Gavin looking dead on his feet, and no place to put the sleeping infant. He said, “Where should we start?”

Violet took the carrier from him and set it in the middle of the dining table. With Ava still strapped in, she was safe and cozy for now. Turning back to Gavin, Violet touched his arm gently. “I can handle it. Why don’t you go on to bed?”

Gavin shoved a hand through his hair. “You sure?”

Yes, she was sure. If he stayed any longer, they’d really feel like the mom and dad bringing their baby home. It was hard enough as it was to keep her emotions in check. She forced a confident smile. “If I need you, I’ll come and get you.”

He nodded, gave another brief look at Ava, then headed off to the rear of the house. The bedroom door closed softly behind him.

Left alone, Violet shrugged out of her suede blazer and rolled up the sleeves on her long-sleeved T-shirt.

She sorted through the baby clothes. Set the wheeled bassinet up with soft cotton linens. Found a place to plug in the bottle warmer and created an impromptu change station at one end of the leather sofa.

She’d just gone in search of the formula and bottles when Ava woke.

The baby’s lips pursed into a petulant frown. She looked around and let out a soft whimper.

Violet couldn’t blame the little one for being distressed.

After all, Gavin’s home was a lot different than the hospital nursery. Her own need to comfort escalating as quickly as Ava’s cry, Violet swiftly went to pick the baby up. “I’m right here, darlin’,” Violet cooed tenderly, cradling the infant in her arms.

At the sound of her voice Ava relaxed. Her eyes shut and she drifted right back to sleep.

And in that moment Violet knew. She didn’t just have a raging case of baby fever. She had fallen head over heels in love with this little girl and felt very much like her mother. The question was...what
now
?

* * *

G
AVIN
WOKE
JUST
as it was getting dark. From beyond his bedroom door he could hear the soft, plaintive sound of Ava crying. Blinking himself alert, he threw his legs over the side of the bed and swiftly headed out into the living room.

Violet was in the middle of the front room, swaying slightly, Ava cradled in her arms. She pressed a kiss on the top of the little girl’s head. “Hush now, sweetheart. We don’t want to wake Gavin.”

Heart clenching at the poignant sight, he whispered, “Too late.”

She turned, hair swept into a dark silky knot on the back of her head, lips bare. She had spit-up on one shoulder of her T-shirt and a smudge of what looked like baby powder across one cheek. Yet she had never been more beautiful.

She also looked as though she had been through the wringer.

Guilt knotting his gut, he ambled toward her. “How’s it been going?” He paused next to them and glanced down at the wide-awake Ava, who was still whimpering.

“Not too bad. As long as I’m holding her and on the move.”

Which accounted for Violet’s exhausted, harried state.

Gavin wanted to take them both in his arms. Figuring it would be more help, however, to help with Ava, he held out his hands.

Gently, Violet transferred the infant to his waiting arms. “Has she slept?” he asked as Ava snuggled against his chest and shoulder.

“At least a dozen times. The problem is, whenever I try to put her down, she wakes within a minute or two and cries until I pick her up. It doesn’t matter whether I settle her in the baby carrier, the bassinet or the buggy. She’s unhappy.”

Gavin walked back and forth with Ava in his arms. As he did so, her cries subsided and her tiny body relaxed. “She didn’t do this in the hospital.”

“I know.” Violet’s glance swept him in a way that made him abruptly aware he was clad only in a pair of boxer-briefs and a T-shirt.

He swore silently. He should have pulled on some pants before coming out here.

Too late now.

Besides, it wasn’t as if there wasn’t an inch of him she hadn’t already seen.

Flushing, Violet cleared her throat and turned her glance away. “Maybe the baby beds there had a different feel to them.”

Gavin continued walking back and forth. The baby’s eyes fluttered closed, opened, fluttered again. Gently, he rubbed her back, noting that Ava was dressed in a clean onesie, wearing the same knit cotton cap, and was snugly wrapped in a receiving blanket. “She seems warm enough.”

Violet came near once again, looking concerned. Standing close enough to Gavin their bodies were touching, Violet caressed the infant’s cheek. “And she’s dry and fed and burped.” She sighed, stepped back slightly, thinking hard. “I just don’t think she wants to be put down. At least not in what we have here.”

“Okay.” Gavin studied the scene with the same cool detachment he assessed a patient who had just been brought into the ER. He handed Ava to Violet, then headed to the bedroom. “I’ll take care of it.”

* * *

T
AKE
CARE
OF
IT
?
Violet let his promise echo in her head. What did that mean? Trying not to notice how sexy and disheveled he looked just out of bed, or to marvel at how tender he was with Ava, she followed him into the bedroom.

“What do you mean?” she asked, frowning as the doorbell rang.

Gavin tugged on his jeans and boots, and threw a shirt on over his T-shirt. He met her anxious glance with a shrug. “I’ll see what I can do about getting Ava another bed.”

Which would accomplish what? Violet wondered as the bell rang again.

They both walked through the kitchen to the front room. Gavin opened the door. Tara Warren stood on the other side. “Is it a bad time?” LCH’s new staff oncologist looked as though she had been crying.

Meanwhile, Ava had gone back to sleep. Violet tenderly cradled the child in her arms. “Not at all. Come on in.”