Lone Star Millionaire (14 page)

“Cal—”

She had to gasp for breath. He grinned down at her. “You are so beautiful,” he said.

The unexpected compliment took away the last of her air. She couldn't do anything when he encircled her wrists, raised her arms and pinned her hands above her head. Then she didn't care because he leaned over and kissed her.

“I have ultimate power,” he said, moving his chest gently over her nipples and making her gasp with pleasure. “Say it, Sabrina.”

He was laughing, but at that moment it was completely true. “You have ultimate power.”

“I know.” He released her hands and cupped her face. “But you have a lot of power, too.”

“Just not ultimate?”

“Sorry, no.”

She hadn't known it would be like this. That the teasing in their regular relationship would spill over into bed. That she would enjoy not just the lovemaking, but the connection.

“So, you
are
a natural redhead. I'd wondered.”

She blinked while his comment sank in. Then she felt herself blushing hotly. “Cal!”

He flashed her another wicked grin, then lowered his head to her left breast. As his mouth closed over her nipple, she
sighed. If him thinking he had ultimate power meant she got to feel this good, she didn't mind at all.

His mouth was wet and warm as he caressed her. He moved his hand to touch her other breast, his fingers mimicking the movement of his tongue. He flicked over the taut bud and she felt the fire shoot down to her thighs. She arched into him. In response, he began to move his hips. As he still straddled her thighs, that most male part of him rubbed against her nest of curls. Close, but not touching that most sacred place, the contact aroused and frustrated in equal measures.

She rolled her head from side to side, not sure how much of this she could stand. She ran her hands up and down his back, then wove her fingers through the silky strands of his hair. She could feel herself getting more and more wet as her body prepared itself for the ultimate release.

He raised his head and looked at her. Passion darkened his eyes. “I want you,” he said. “All of you.”

“Yes, Cal. I want that, too.”

He shifted off of her, urged her to part her legs, then knelt between them. He put his hands on her ankles and slowly slid his fingers up, taking his time, making her wait. The slow, sensual stroking made her quiver inside. She clutched at the blankets and held back a whimper.

When he'd completed the journey, he brushed his thumbs against her curls. As he had just a few minutes before, he touched close, but not
there.
She thought she might die from needing him so much.

“Sabrina,” he murmured, then lowered his head. He pressed a kiss to her belly. His thumbs parted the delicate folds of her femininity, exposing her to him, then he gave her the most intimate kiss of all.

The first touch of his tongue nearly drove her off the mattress. She drew her heels toward her rear and bent her knees.
Every muscle tensed. He circled the special spot, getting close, but not pressing directly on it. Tension increased, as did her breathing.

A part of her disconnected enough to look at the situation. She'd always wondered what Cal would be like in bed. After all, he was single, good-looking and rich. For most women, he would just have to show up and they would be happy. But he wasn't like that. He took his time pleasing her. She could tell he was experimenting with different touches, trying to see which she enjoyed the most.

She felt herself building toward release and she wanted to hold back. Not just because she was enjoying what he was doing, but also because she wasn't sure she was ready to let him witness her loss of control. There was something frightening about being that exposed to a man. No, she thought. There was something frightening about being that exposed to Cal. It was specifically about him. If she gave in—he would see her soul. After that, when he walked away, she would be in that much more pain. So maybe she wouldn't let herself go all the way. Maybe she would hold back.

As plans went, it was a good one…in theory. Then Cal turned his attention to the tiny button. He rubbed it lightly but quickly and she began to spiral out of control. When he gently inserted a finger and pressed up from the inside, as if to caress her from both sides, she lost the ability to reason, or remember why she was trying to hold back. There was only the magic she felt and the onward pressing for release.

When it flashed through her, she wasn't prepared. The exquisite pleasure captured her and flung her around, filling her, buffeting her, tossing her into the air, before letting her float gently back into reality. As her body stopped trembling and the soft cries died in her throat, she found herself in Cal's arms.

A thousand thoughts crowded in. She was embarrassed by
her vigorous reaction to what he'd done. If she'd had to come, couldn't she have done so quietly and with dignity? She wanted to know what he was thinking, and if he was turned on by what had happened, and she was really dying to know if he was still hard, but she didn't dare look.

He touched her mouth. “You are so amazing,” he said quietly. “I felt so connected to you that I almost lost it.”

As he spoke, she felt the nudging against her thigh that told her he was still aroused, and if the light in his eyes was anything to go by, more than ready to have his way with her.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

He smiled. “No, Sabrina. Thank
you.
”

He slipped on his protection, then moved back between her legs. She was slick, but he still stretched her as he entered her body. When he braced his hands on either side of her shoulders, she looked at him. He met her gaze and began to move.

It was something she'd never done before. She'd never made love while looking into the eyes of her partner. The intimacy terrified her, but she couldn't look away and she wasn't going to be the first one to close her eyes.

The pressure built, as did the promise of another release. Cal moved slowly at first, then faster, building a rhythm that matched their need. His expression tightened. She felt him getting closer. That knowledge drew her along with him and she clutched at him.

“I can't hold back,” he breathed.

“I'm right with you.”

He stiffened and moaned. “Sabrina!”

“Yes.”

Her body convulsed around him, pulling him in. She drew her knees back and arched her hips, taking all of him.

And still they looked at each other. She saw the fire in his eyes, the moment of perfect pleasure, the easing of tension, the half smile of a satisfied male.

He rolled onto his side and pulled her against him. As he held her close, he stroked her back and her hair. She sighed in contentment.

“Who knew?” he asked, his voice low and lazy.

Who indeed, she thought.

 

Cal woke as the first hint of light appeared at the edge of the blinds. He glanced at the clock, but it was barely six, so there was no need to get up and return to his own bed just yet. He had a little time.

He shifted so that he could turn and watch Sabrina as she slept next to him. Her short red hair was mussed. The sheet and light blanket had slipped enough to expose one bare shoulder and her arm. She looked sexy and adorable and he found himself wanting her again.

Cal grinned. He had to admit, he'd impressed himself. A couple of times the first night wasn't that unusual. After all, it had been a while and he was with someone new. But sometime after midnight, when they'd been doing nothing more erotic than talking about business, he'd found himself hard and desperate for her. Fortunately, Sabrina hadn't taken much convincing.

In the privacy of his mind, he was willing to admit he'd been terrified. After they'd made love for the first time yesterday afternoon, he'd left her room. Anastasia joined them for dinner, although she and Sabrina hadn't had much to eat. But when his daughter retired for an early evening, Cal hadn't known what to do. He'd wanted to spend the night with Sabrina. Not just to make love with her, but to enjoy time with her, too.

He'd hovered in the hallway, not sure of his reception. He'd been thrilled when she'd opened her door to come looking for him.

They were good together, he thought, as he resisted the urge to stroke her face. He wanted to touch her, but she needed
her sleep. He hadn't given her much chance for rest last night. And there would be plenty more time for them later.

He quietly got out of bed and reached for his clothes. After pulling on jeans, he made his way to his room where he showered and dressed. As he shaved, he thought about Sabrina and wondered when the familiar restlessness would strike. It usually happened right after he'd been with a woman. By the second or third time they were together, he was already fighting the need to get away.

But he didn't feel anything like that this morning. He only wanted to be with Sabrina more. He could imagine waking up next to her for a while. He put down the razor and rubbed his face. What did that mean? Was it different because he'd known her for so long? Because he already liked and respected her? Or was it something specifically about being with Sabrina? Chemistry? Or fate?

Three hours later he still didn't have any answers, but as Anastasia demanded something substantial for breakfast and Sabrina teased him about his coffee, he decided it didn't matter.

“I'm glad my two girls are feeling better,” he said.

Anastasia had dressed in shorts and a T-shirt. Her shorter, wavy hair fluttered around her shoulders. It had only been a few weeks, but already she looked completely different from the malnourished waif they'd rescued.

“I feel great. Can we go in-line skating later? I think I'm getting better on the skates.”

“You couldn't be getting worse,” he teased.

Anastasia rolled her eyes. “Da-ad. I'm pretty good. Sabrina said so. And there are these two cute guys who always—”

Cal held up his hand. “You are twelve years old and you're not allowed to notice cute guys. Not until you're thirty. Understand?”

Sabrina chuckled. “Ignore him, kid. All fathers are like this. You're just gonna have to learn to deal with it.”

Anastasia apparently chose to take her advice. “So can we, Dad?”

“Skating, yes. Guy noticing, no. How many pancakes?”

“Three for starters.”

He turned his attention to Sabrina. She'd also showered and changed. Her shorts and T-shirt were similar to his daughter's, but his reaction to them was very different. While he thought Anastasia looked cute and stylish for a young girl, he thought Sabrina was about the sexiest creature he'd ever seen. Despite the mundane activity of preparing breakfast, he wanted her as much as he had before they'd made love.

“And you, young lady?”

“I'll start with a couple,” she said, and touched her hand to her stomach. “I want to make sure I'm completely healed before I go showing off.”

He wanted to be with her. On the beach, under the stars. He wanted—

“Let's go to Hawaii,” he said without thinking.

Both females turned to look at him.

Cal shrugged. “Why not? It would be a real vacation. We'll get a bungalow on one of the islands.” He looked at Anastasia. “You could learn to surf, we can go sailing. The weather is perfect. What do you say?”

“Oh, Dad, can we?”

“Sure.” He turned to Sabrina. “You're quiet.”

Her expression was unreadable and that made him nervous. “Cal, if you and Anastasia want to go, I think it's a great idea, but I'm afraid I can't join you.”

He stared at her. What the hell was she talking about? “What do you mean? Of course you can join us.” Didn't she want to be with him the way he wanted to be with her?

“I can't. I'm leaving.” She looked away, but not before he caught the flash of guilt in her eyes. “It's just for a couple of days, but—”

“Leaving? You mean you want time off?” He knew he sounded stupid, but he couldn't help it. She'd never left before. If she wanted to visit her family, she did it while he was out of town. Did she want to get away from him?

“I have plenty of vacation time available,” she snapped. “I'm taking a few days off. It's no big deal. I work for you, Cal, but you don't own me.”

With that she stalked out of the room. Cal stared after her. He felt as if he'd been broadsided by a train. What had gone wrong?

“Daddy?” His daughter sounded shaken.

He gave her a quick hug. “I know, sweetie, but don't worry. I'll find out what's going on.”

“You can fix it, can't you? You won't let Sabrina go away.”

“I'll do the best I can.” He kissed her head and wondered if he was about to let his daughter down.

S
abrina crossed to the window in her room and figured she had about thirty seconds of privacy before Cal came barging in to demand an explanation. She supposed she could have handled the situation worse, although right now it was hard to imagine that. Why had she reacted so badly? Why hadn't she said, in a calm voice, that she was thinking of visiting her family, or any other of a dozen acceptable excuses. Instead, she'd gotten angry and reminded him that he didn't own her. Dear Lord, had she really said that?

The answer to that and several other difficult questions was about three feet behind her. She'd gone to the trouble to make the bed, but the act of smoothing the covers and making sure the bedspread was centered didn't do much to erase the memories of the night they'd spent together. She wasn't stupid, so it didn't take her long to figure out that she'd reacted so badly because she was still reeling from the impact of their lovemaking. For Cal it had been…she shook her head.
She didn't know what it had been to him. But for her, it had been a life-changing event. She knew that whatever happened, she would never love another man, or make love with another man, the way she'd loved and made love with him.

Talk about a sobering experience. Her life had been completely turned around, and for all she knew, he'd simply scratched an itch.

It had been more wonderful than she'd thought it could ever be. She hugged her arms to her chest and rested her forehead against the cool glass of the window. Even now, when her body was pleasantly sore from all that they'd done together, she still wanted him. In her heart, she knew that she would always want him. That same organ informed her that he would never feel the same way about her. Sometimes the truth was ugly, but that didn't make it any less valid.

“Sabrina?”

She hadn't heard him enter the room, and it took a conscious effort not to flinch when he spoke. His voice rippled over her like warm water.

“I shouldn't have blurted it out like that,” she said. “I don't mean to be difficult, but the truth is, I do have a lot of vacation time and I would like to take off for a few days.”

“This isn't about you needing time away, is it? It's about last night.”

She sucked in a breath. Dear Lord, give her the courage…The half-formed prayer trailed off. No, she wasn't about to pray that she lied well. She was going to have to figure out how to do that all on her own.

She opened her eyes and turned to face him. It was worse and more difficult than she'd imagined. He looked so perfect this morning, all freshly showered and so damn masculine. She wanted to weep. Now that she knew the truth, it was going to be harder than ever to walk away. Now that she'd felt his strength, and his gentleness, now that she'd tasted him,
had him taste her, now that she'd experienced the passion and the need and the magic. She didn't think she had the strength to leave. But she knew she didn't have the strength to stay and watch him grow tired of her, then turn his attention on someone else. She could suffer deeply and quickly, then get over it, or she could die a little each day.

It wasn't much of a choice.

“I was going to tell you later,” she said. “Last night has nothing to do with it. I do need some time off. But not to visit my family.”

He frowned. “You need to get away from me?”

She smiled. “Amazingly enough, Cal, this isn't about you at all. I got a phone call yesterday morning. Do you remember?”

He nodded.

“It was from someone in New York. A headhunter. He's set up a few interviews for me. That's where I'm going. To New York. I'm leaving the company.”

Until she said the words, she hadn't been sure she was really going to go through with it. But as soon as she spoke, she knew she'd made the right decision. It would be so easy to stay and love Cal forever, to make the decision to die day by day until there was nothing left but an empty shell where a heart and soul had once lived. This was harder, but ultimately better.

Which didn't explain why she felt as if she were bleeding to death.

She'd thought about this moment a hundred times. She figured Anastasia would express sorrow, but Cal would just take it in stride. She'd pictured the moment, the quiet raising of one eyebrow, the faint smile. “I hate to see you go, but you have to do what's right. Are you sure there's nothing I can do to make you stay?” He would be disappointed, maybe even a bit uneasy about breaking in a new assistant—but he wouldn't be devastated. She'd schooled herself to accept
his
acceptance with equal, casual grace.

She hadn't expected the color to drain from his face or his expression to freeze. She hadn't expected him to glare at her accusingly. “You're leaving?”

His question put her on the defensive. “It was bound to happen. You can't have expected me to work for you forever.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets and stared at her. His silence made her uneasy.

“It's not that I don't like my job,” she said. “I do. I love the travel and the challenge. You're great to work for. But I need more. I need—”

“What? What do you need? Explain it to me.”

She shrugged. “I don't know how to put it into words.” Actually she did, but what made sense in her head had the chance of sounding stupid in real life. “The work is demanding.” She held up a hand to keep him from interrupting. “I don't mind that. In fact I like it a lot. But I don't have any time left over for a personal life.”

“You have days off. Evenings, too.”

“When you travel, I go with you. When you want to work late, I'm there at the office. The only time I get to be on my own is when you're out on a date. If you're between women, we're together constantly. That has made it impossible for me to make friends and see them.”

“You mean a man.”

“I mean friends. My whole life revolves around you, Cal. I haven't minded. In fact, I still don't mind, but I need more.”

“I see.” But his tone told her he didn't see at all.

Sabrina was confused. If she didn't know better, she would say that Cal was hurt by what she was telling him. That didn't make sense. She'd hoped he would miss her, but this silent accusing reaction was unexpected.

“I've really enjoyed working for you. I've learned a lot, but it's time to move on.”

“So you're leaving.” It wasn't a question.

“Yes.”

“And last night? That wasn't an attempt at a relationship, was it? You were interested in stud service.”

She winced. “Cal, it wasn't like that.”

He took a step toward her, then stopped. Fire flared in his eyes, but this time it came from anger and hurt, not passion. “It sure the hell wasn't for me. I don't know what you were thinking, though. ‘Hey, I'm outta here so let's screw the boss once, just so I can say I did.' Is that it?”

“No, never. I wanted—” She pressed her lips together. She didn't know what to say. In an odd twist of events she didn't completely understand,
she
was the one on the defensive. She was pretty sure the nagging feeling at the back of her mind was guilt.

“I haven't done anything wrong,” she said hotly. “I refuse to feel bad about what happened. You wanted it, too.”

“Yes, I did.” He stared at her. “Why, Sabrina? Why did you want to make love with me?”

She couldn't answer that one. The truth would only make things worse. He wouldn't want to hear it and she couldn't stand the humiliation. “What was last night to you?” she asked, hoping to shift the focus of the conversation.

His mouth twisted at the corner. “Very special. Something I'll treasure always.”

That hit her where she lived. She felt her eyes burn and had to fight tears. “I refuse to feel guilty about leaving,” she whispered. “I have every right to go.”

“Yes, you do.”

“I worked hard for you. I gave you everything I had. I was worth every penny.”

“That was never in question.”

The tears came, anyway. She felt them roll down her cheeks and had to brush them away. What had gone wrong? When had she lost control of the conversation?

“I'll be gone only a few days,” she said. “When I get back,
I'll start looking for a replacement.” She sucked in a breath. “As of now, I'm giving you thirty days' notice that I'm quitting.”

Cal flinched slightly and headed for the door. She wanted him to yell at her and refuse to let her go. She wanted him to throw her on the bed and make love with her until she changed her mind. She wanted him to tell her that she would never be happy with anyone but him. She wanted him to say that he loved her.

He said nothing.

When he reached the doorway, he turned back to face her. This time she was sure she saw pain in his eyes and in the lines bracketing his mouth. But she was confused and didn't know what it meant.

“I don't want a replacement, Sabrina. I've only ever wanted you,” he said, then left.

She stared after him, knowing that he was talking about work and desperately wishing he meant something else.

 

As Cal headed downstairs, he tried to think. Sabrina couldn't be leaving. It wasn't right. She'd been a part of his life for so long, he wasn't sure he could survive without her. This wasn't just about business, either, although he would miss her presence in that area, too. But mostly this was personal. He'd come to depend upon her. He cared about her and had believed she cared about him. How could she walk away from all that?

He crossed to the patio and stared out at the ocean. She was leaving to have a life. What was wrong with the one she had here…with him? Why did she need someone else? He knew that's what she was talking about. Dating, falling in love, maybe even getting married.

He frowned, trying to remember if Sabrina ever dated. He recalled her mentioning a couple of guys, but that had been a while ago. There hadn't been anyone special in the past
couple of years. He'd had a series of women, but she'd been alone.

He didn't like it, but in a way he could understand it. Sabrina was a lovely, vital, giving woman. She needed more. If only—

“Daddy?”

He turned as Anastasia rushed at him. There were tears in her eyes. He held out his arms and she ran into his embrace.

“Daddy, don't let Sabrina leave. I don't want her to go.”

He hugged his daughter close. “I don't want her to go, either, sweetie, but we don't get a choice in this one.”

“No!” A sob shook her.

“I know it's hard to understand, but Sabrina has her own life. She only works for me, and that means she's free to leave whenever she wants.”

Anastasia clung to him. “She's going forever?”

“Right now she's leaving for a few days. Then she'll be back.”

He figured there was no point in dumping the rest of it on his daughter. The time would come when he would have to explain that Sabrina had given notice. But he wanted Anastasia to get used to this smaller hurt, first.

He rocked her in his arms. When the crying slowed, he suggested a board game to distract them both. They'd been playing for about an hour when Sabrina walked out onto the patio. She'd showered and changed. Instead of casual shorts and a T-shirt, she wore tailored slacks and a silk blouse. She had a jacket slung over one arm.

“I have a flight to New York later this morning. The shuttle will be here in a few minutes.”

It hurt to look at her. Cal didn't want to think about how bad it was going to be when she was gone. “You don't even want me to drive you to the airport?”

She flinched. “It wasn't that.” She motioned to the game. “I didn't want to disrupt your game.”

“I see.” But he knew the truth. She didn't want to spend any more time with him than she had to. “How long will you be gone?”

“A few days. Maybe a week. I'll be in touch.”

He shrugged, as if it didn't matter. Inside, though, he could feel a sharp pain building. He had a feeling it would never go away. “Don't worry about us. We'll be fine.”

Sabrina nodded. She bit her lower lip. “I'll miss you, Anastasia.”

The girl turned toward the view. Cal saw her wipe away a tear, but her voice was strong and uncaring as she said, “I won't miss you, Sabrina. You're just the hired help. I'm sure my father will find someone to replace you.”

Sabrina winced. “I'm sure he will.” She turned to Cal. “I'm really sorry about all of this.”

Anastasia's chair scraped against the cement patio as she pushed it back and lunged for Sabrina. Tears streamed down her face.

“Don't go,” the girl sobbed. “Don't go away. I'll miss you so much. I didn't mean that. I will miss you.”

Sabrina pulled her close. “I know, honey. I'll miss you, too.”

“Then why are you leaving?”

“Good question,” Cal told her.

Sabrina stared at him. “I have to.”

Anastasia stepped back and wiped her face with the back of her hand. “Is my dad leaving next? Are you all leaving me?”

Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. Cal rose and moved next to her. “I'm not leaving you, Anastasia. You're my daughter and you're going to be with me forever.”

The preteen shook her head. “No. Everybody leaves me.”

Sabrina touched her hair. “It's not like that.”

“Yes, it is.”

Cal hugged her. “No, it's not. I have a lot of flaws, kid, but I always keep my word. You can ask Sabrina. I promise I won't leave you, Anastasia. No matter what, I'll be here for you.”

“Sabrina?”

Sabrina gave her a shaky smile. “He's right. He does keep his word. You can trust him.”

Cal felt his daughter's thin arms wrap around him. She shook as she cried. Over her head, he met Sabrina's gaze. He wanted to ask why she was doing this to them. Where else was she needed as much? But he couldn't speak. The words got stuck in his throat, and by the time they were loose, the shuttle driver had knocked on the front door.