“And then, when I’ve touched and done everything you tell me to, we’re going to change places and you’re going to touch me wherever I want.”
“Oh, goodie.”
“Did I mention that sometimes cowgirls with sassy mouths can earn a spanking?” He flipped her over and gave her two light swats on her firm butt and had her practically levitating off the bed. Then kissed the pink spots darkening her pale skin.
“But that’s not all,” he said as he planted a trail of wet kisses down the back of her leg. “Since we’ve got nowhere to be and all night to get there, I’m going to explore every sweet inch of your body and find erogenous spots you didn’t even know you had.”
She actually cried out when he nipped at the back of her knee. Which wasn’t a surprise since he’d suspected that there was more than one reason Austin Merrill enjoyed riding horses.
He turned her onto her back again, caught her chin in his fingers, and held her gaze to his. Her pupils had grown so large they were turning her blue eyes to nearly purple. “You up for all that?”
Her smile was slow and hot enough that if they’d been the first man and woman on the planet, and she’d offered him that forbidden apple, he wouldn’t have lasted a day in the Garden of Eden.
“Absolutely,” she said.
25
“I
WISH YOU
could stay,” Sawyer said the next morning.
“Me, too.” The sun was just beginning to rise, casting the snow-clad mountaintop in a pink glow. Although the hour wasn’t early for a rancher, if she had her druthers, Austin would stay in Sawyer’s bed for the next week. Of course, the red tub had proven to have its own appeal. Especially when they’d gotten sidetracked this morning with the attached handheld shower spray. There were parts of her still tingling that, until last night, had forgotten they
could
tingle.
She began buttoning one of his shirts, which fell to mid-thigh over her jeans. “But I have to drive to Medford to pick Lexi up at the airport.”
“Since Dad’s guys are taking care of both our stock, I’ll go over and have breakfast with the kids.”
“They’d love that.” She went over to him, framed his handsome face between her palms, and kissed him. She was pleased and relieved that her earlier concerns about whether he’d want to be involved with Jack and Sophie appeared not to have been necessary. “Perhaps you can bring them back here.”
“Will do. Maybe we’ll wander down to the river and drown some worms.”
“I’m not sure Sophie likes fishing anymore,” she warned him.
Truthfully, Austin was walking on eggshells where the girl was concerned. The one thing she didn’t want to have to worry about was having Heather’s daughter run away again.
He shrugged. “Then we’ll improvise. Marines are known for their ability to improvise, adapt, overcome.”
“And a lot more that probably isn’t G-rated enough to become a Corps motto.”
“There is that.” He flashed that same wicked grin he’d given her just before he’d proven that he could make her scream. In the very best way. He played with the button between her breasts. “I’m sorry I ruined your shirt.”
“I’m not.” Although there’d been quite a bit of clothes ripping in those books Jenna had given her, none of those fictional heroes could hold a candle to Sawyer Murphy. In any way. “I thought it was thrilling.”
After having finally shared her feelings, Austin was surprised how easy it was to tell him everything. Just the way she had when they’d been growing up. She’d suspected that the sex between them would be good. Better than good, off the charts. But she’d never expected that it could crash through those emotional barriers they’d begun building that hot summer day when she’d caught him looking at her bra strap. Adolescence had brought more than physical changes; it had altered their relationship, making them all too aware of the differences in their genders.
Now, having celebrated that difference, they were back to being best friends. With benefits.
“What?” His question had her realizing she’d been grinning like a fool. Probably a blushing fool.
“I was just thinking that, as horrible and sad as this time is, being with you has given my heart something to be happy about.”
He skimmed a finger down her nose. “Back atcha, babe.”
They still had so much to deal with. Including how they were going to co-parent, because, although they hadn’t gotten into the nuts and bolts about how all this was going to work, they were talking about a minimum of eleven years of hands-on parenthood. Not that family responsibilities ended when a child became eighteen. Look at her. Thirty-one years old and still living with her father. And wasn’t that just too pitiful for words?
“I want to walk you back to the house, but I’m guessing that would be a no.”
“I’d rather not have Dad and Dan’s hands witness my walk of shame,” she said lightly.
“No.” His tone was strong and firm. Like it had been occasionally during their long night together. But on those occasions, she’d known he’d been playing a role. This, on the other hand, was totally real. Totally him. “There’s not an ounce of shame involved in what we did last night.”
She laid a hand on his arm and felt the muscle tense. “It’s just a saying, Sawyer. A joke.”
“Not entirely. If you don’t want anyone to see us.”
She sighed. They were back to complications again. “It’s just that there’s already so much going on, and you know as well as I do that, as wonderful as River’s Bend is, there aren’t any secrets. At least not for long.”
She crossed her hands over her heart. Then did the same over his. “I’d like to keep this just to ourselves for a while. I’m not ready for people to start dissecting our relationship.”
“Ah. There’s that
R
word again.”
“We do have one.” Damn. Did her voice actually go up on the end of that declaration? She’d sworn to herself, sometime between when he’d carried her to bed last night and the shower sex this morning, that she was
not
going to bring up what kind of future he was thinking of.
“We absolutely do.”
“But we’re about to be scrutinized by some social worker who could make the argument that beginning a sexual relationship while taking on the care of two orphaned children could create stresses that wouldn’t be beneficial to their well-being.”
“We’ll be sure they’re not hurt. But I suppose you do have a point about not risking complicating the custodial process. It would probably also be inappropriate for us to go around town grinning like jackasses when our best friends have just died.”
“My heart’s still broken about that,” she said.
“Mine, too.”
“But there’s a part that’s so filled with happiness that I think it’s going to heal the broken part.”
“Which is exactly what Tom and Heather would want,” Sawyer said. “Not just for their kids, who need for us to have full hearts right now, but for you and me. Because they never would’ve wanted us to go through life aching. Or ravaged by survivor guilt.”
She tilted her head. His tone had changed. Deepened, not in a sexy way but heavy with emotion. She imagined he might know more than a little about survivor guilt. She also knew that this was not the time for an in-depth conversation and that Sawyer would tell her when the moment was right.
“Gotta go,” she said. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”
“Absolutely.” He kissed her again, this time just a quick peck on the lips. “Have a safe trip.”
“I will.”
As she walked back toward the house she’d grown up in, it crossed Austin’s mind that, just days ago, neither of them would’ve given a thought about a trip along the lake and over the mountains, which they’d done all their lives, possibly being unsafe.
Which was when she realized that from here on in, her life would consist of
before the accident
and
after
.
She’d just reached the house when a familiar truck with a
Be Nice, I Could Be Your Nurse Someday
sticker on the back bumper pulled into the drive.
“Hey.” Layla Longstreet jumped out of the driver’s seat. “I like your outfit. Boyfriend shirts are in these days, I hear.”
“Busted.” Austin had realized she and Sawyer wouldn’t be able to keep their relationship a secret for long, but this had to be an all-time record. Even for River’s Bend.
“Don’t worry.” Layla shoved a wild mass of auburn hair back from her face. Ryan’s nurse practitioner partner was, hands down, the most beautiful woman in River’s Bend. Probably in Oregon. She was also one of the nicest. “I didn’t tell anyone about that hospital kiss. We nurses know how to keep secrets. All I’ll say is that I’m really happy you guys finally got together, and I fully intend to grill you for details later because the only sex I’m getting these days is through those books I keep buying from Jenna and living vicariously through my friends. Who are mostly engaged or married. Like Rachel and—” She rubbed her temples. “Damn.”
“I know,” Austin said. “I spent all day yesterday taking care of funeral stuff and it still hasn’t entirely sunk in. The first thing I wanted to do this morning was text Heather and tell her that we’d finally done it.”
Layla lifted a tawny, perfectly arched brow. “And? Was the long wait worth it?”
“Way worth it.”
“Well, then, there you go. I brought your dad something.” A wheelchair had been hitched to the back of the truck bed.
“Ryan and I have tried that idea. And he refuses.”
“That’s because you weren’t me. I’m a nurse. We have superpowers that get people to do whatever we want.”
Austin suspected a male would have to have flat lined to be immune to this woman. But Buck Merrill was old-school western cowboy to the bone. As he’d proven, to her distress, he’d rather stay in his self-imposed house arrest than let anyone see him as less than the strong man he’d been only a short time ago.
“You have no idea how much I’m hoping you’re right,” she said. “Let me help.”
“No, that’s the cool thing,” Layla said. “Not only is it foldable, it’s really light. But extremely durable. And it can take a man even heavier than Buck, which not all lightweight ones do.” She set it up with a few quick movements and wheeled it up to the front door.
Buck was in the kitchen, leaning on a cane, pouring coffee into the travel mug Austin had bought him after balance problems had caused him to drop regular mugs. This one was specially made not to spill even if it was turned upside down.
“Hey, handsome,” Layla greeted him with her Julia Roberts wide smile. “I brought you a present.”
He glowered down at the wheelchair. “Not interested.”
“You haven’t even let me show off the features,” she said. “Look, a rechargeable battery that’ll go fifteen miles. Double that if you want to get a second battery. Which I got you because they can be charged off board.”
“I’m fine right here. I don’t need to go traipsing all over the countryside.”
“Yeah. Why go anywhere when you can sit in that ratty old La-Z-Boy all day and watch bull riding and fishing?” Layla agreed. “Sounds like a damn near perfect life to me.”
He thrust out his gray-stubbled chin. “I get out. I was just out at the corral with Dan helping Jack Campbell learn how to rope that dummy steer the Murphy boy made back in high school.”
“Well, good for you.” Another smile, even brighter and more enthusiastic than the first. Most men, Austin thought, would have little hearts circling around their heads by now. But her father wasn’t most men. “I had the joystick put on the left, because you’re left-handed. But it’ll go both ways. And look, the armrests can be raised so you can just slide onto it by the side. Easy peasy.” She demonstrated. “And did I mention the back rest reclines in five positions? Just in case you decide you’d like to take a little nap while you’re out sitting under a tree checking out your stock.”
“I don’t take naps.” It was a bald-faced lie, and everyone in the room, including Winema, who’d shown up during the demonstration, knew it. “And what part of I do not need a damn cripple’s wheelchair do you not understand?”
“Okay.” Layla stood up, squared her shoulders, and pushed her hair back with both hands, which anyone who knew her recognized as a sign that she was majorly ticked off and about to get serious. “Here’s the deal, Buck. First of all, it’s not a ‘damn cripple’s wheelchair.’ It’s a personal mobility aid.
“Second, Tuesday, we’re all going to be doing the saddest thing anyone can do. We’re going to be burying friends. A good man and woman who were part of this community and had never done anything wrong to have a goddamn boulder come crashing down on their minivan. In Our Lady of the Lake Church will be two young children you know well. And undoubtedly like.”
“Of course I do.” His tone was strong, but Austin could sense that he was getting the idea that Layla, who was standing there, hands on her hips, looking like Wonder Woman, might just be a force to be reckoned with.
“Of course you do.” She smiled as if awarding him a gold star for the right answer. “Which is why I know you wouldn’t want to do anything to make their already terrible, horrible day any worse.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“You wouldn’t mean to.” Austin had always thought Layla Longstreet was beautiful enough to have become a movie star if she’d decided to take off to California instead of remaining in River’s Bend, where she’d grown up best friends with Ellen Buchanan, Cooper’s first wife. Now she realized that if Layla had become an actress, she would’ve probably won every award out there because the way she could switch moods was amazing.
She’d started out unrelentingly cheerful, then, without batting one of those long and impossibly thick lashes, turned into a force of nature. Then, she’d pulled out a more neutral tone, describing the upcoming day none of them wanted to have happen. Now, she was Buck’s warm and empathetic best friend. Appealing to his best angels, assuring him that she knew he’d never do anything to hurt two innocent orphans.
“But here’s the deal, Buck.” She folded her arms. “You crashing onto the caskets while trying to make your way down the aisle, or worse yet, falling into a grave at the cemetery, is going to make that a day everyone, including those two darling children, remembers. And not in a good way.”