Authors: Maya Banks
She felt his touch on her back and turned around. He was off the phone.
“Get some rest. We’ve got another six hours before we get to the place Tony squared away for us.”
She nodded and scooted down in her seat. Six hours. It was a long time and yet not nearly enough time. She wanted so much to…
It didn’t matter. She closed her eyes. What she wanted she couldn’t have, and there was no use dwelling on it.
Chapter Sixteen
Around two a.m., Manny pulled into the drive of a log cabin situated on a large lake. Jules was exhausted, but she hadn’t slept. Her nerves were too jagged.
They stepped into the cold night air, and she inhaled sharply, hoping the bite would sharpen her senses. She followed Manny to the door, and as he had done in New Mexico, he drew his gun and pushed the door open, sticking his gun in first, then following slowly behind.
“Find the light switch,” he whispered.
She fumbled along the wall until she found the switch, and light flooded the foyer.
“Stay here while I check the rest of the house.”
She sighed but didn’t argue. Let him play super agent. She was too damn tired to go looking for bogeymen in the closet.
A few minutes later, he returned, and he motioned her into the living room.
He looked at her, uncertainty flickering across his face. “Do you want to go straight to bed?”
She stood still, not really knowing how to respond. She was tired. More tired than she’d ever been in her life, but the idea of going to a dark room alone scared her more than she wanted to admit.
“I can build a fire if you want, and we can sit in here for a while,” he offered. “I need to change your bandage as well.”
Had he read her so easily? She was going to have to work on keeping her thoughts from her face. She hadn’t survived the last three years by being a walking billboard.
“Sounds great,” she finally said.
She walked around to the couch situated close to the large stone fireplace and settled down, tucking her legs underneath her.
He piddled around the hearth for a few minutes, gathering newspapers stacked to the side and crumpling them under the grate. Then he went outside, and she heard scraping and thumping. Seconds later he returned with an armload of wood and began arranging it in the fireplace.
Soon flames licked over the dry wood and the hearth came alive with the crackle of fire. He rummaged around in one of the bags he’d brought in and carried over a bandage and the antiseptic.
She turned around to present her back and tensed as she awaited his attentions. His fingers were gentle as he peeled off the tape. She heard the slosh of the liquid then felt fire on her shoulder as he swabbed a cloth over the cut.
She let out a long hiss and closed her eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
She shook her head and remained still while he arranged another bandage over the wound. When he was finished, he pulled her back until she reclined against the sofa.
“Long day.”
“Mmm hmm.”
Awkward silence settled between them, and the effort for idle chitchat died. She stared into the fire, the warmth reaching out and enveloping her.
Manuel watched the protective way she held her arms around her. He doubted she even realized how vulnerable it made her look.
Her eyes flitted sideways at him several times as if she wanted to ask something but couldn’t quite muster the courage. In the past, she would have never hesitated to ask him anything. Sadness crept over his shoulders, tightening his chest.
“Manny?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Did you mean what you said before? At the restaurant?”
He furrowed his brows in confusion.
Her breath hiccupped in a soft rush. “About…about wanting to marry me?”
He closed his eyes for a second. “Yeah, Jules. I meant it.”
“Oh.”
She looked panicked, as if she had no idea how to respond.
He reached a hand out, feathering over her cheek, feeling the smoothness of her skin. His fingers curled around her chin, his thumb swirling close to her ear.
“Is that all you can say? Oh?”
Her eyes found his, so full of pain, questions and something that looked remarkably like hope.
“I just never imagined…” Her voice trailed off, and she looked away.
Her shoulders shook silently, each twitch shooting an arrow directly into his soul.
He leaned forward and pulled her into his arms, turning her back around to face him. Her gaze found his, and there was so much vulnerability in her eyes. So much that he wanted to wipe away. He lowered his lips to her forehead.
A breathy sigh escaped her as he blazed a path to her lips.
“I wanted nothing more than for you to come home from France and spend the rest of your life with me,” he said as he brought both of his hands up to cup her face.
She leaned into him, burrowing into his embrace. His hands fell away as she pressed her face into his chest. He held her as tightly as he dared, not wanting to hurt her ribs.
Her face nuzzled in his chest, then her soft mouth turned upward, finding his neck. She kissed it softly, sending a shockwave down his spine.
He slid his hand around her neck, running his fingers through her hair. She felt so right in his arms, as if she had always belonged there. He had waited so long, and now that she was here, he was having a hard time grappling with his control.
After what had happened to her, she deserved tenderness, and he’d be damned if he gave her anything but.
“Let’s sleep in here,” she murmured. “By the fire.”
“If that’s what you want.” He reluctantly pulled away. “I’ll get some blankets and pillows.”
Jules watched him walk toward the bedroom, and she stood up from the couch, moving closer to the fire. She wasn’t cold. Far from it. The heat from Manny’s body had scorched her.
She wasn’t afraid. She knew he would never hurt her. No, she knew just the opposite was true. She’d hurt him. But she wanted this night. Wanted it more than anything in the world. Wanted to erase the awful events of that long-ago day when her entire world had been turned upside-down.
Manny returned carrying a bedspread and several pillows. She gestured to the floor in front of the fire. The carpet was soft, plush. They could make do with just the blanket for padding.
He knelt down and spread out the covers then arranged the pillows so their bodies would parallel the fire. He stretched out on his side and propped his elbow on the floor. Then he patted the space beside him.
She went to him without hesitation, nestling her back to his chest so she could face the fire. His hand rested on the curve of her shoulder, and he bent to kiss her neck as she had done to him earlier.
Goose bumps spread out over her arms and neck as desire warmed places of her heart long left cold.
She closed her eyes as his hand moved to her waist and over her hip. His lips followed. He was achingly gentle, each touch feather light, yet she felt each one to her core.
She rotated around until she faced him, sure uncertainty was carved on her face. With a shaking hand, she reached out to touch his cheek. He captured her fingers in his much larger hand and pressed the tips to his mouth, kissing them one by one.
“Do you have any idea how long I’ve dreamed of this moment?” he asked. “Holding you in my arms, knowing you were mine to love.”
“Don’t let me go,” she whispered.
“Never.”
He rolled her over, his hand going behind her head to cushion her. He held himself over her, staring down at her. “I won’t hurt you, Jules. I’ll never hurt you.”
“I know.”
And she did know.
He tugged at her shirt, loosening it from her jeans. His palm slid over her abdomen, pushing the shirt upwards, over her breasts. He bent and pressed his mouth to the bruises on her ribcage, kissing the hurt with such exquisite tenderness her throat swelled and ached with unspent emotion.
She closed her eyes as he worked the shirt over her head and tugged it free of her arms. Slow heat worked its way over her body when his fingers drifted down to her pants.
He rose up, his hand falling away from her waist. He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side. Lord, he was so big, his chest broad, showcasing muscular arms. He was every inch the warrior. The protector of the innocent.
Only she wasn’t innocent.
A shadow hovered over her as the unwanted thought drifted through her mind. Manny must have sensed her dismay and lowered himself, collecting her in his arms.
Flesh met flesh. She delighted in the feel of their naked bodies melting together. He was hard to her softness, strength to her weakness. For the space of a few minutes, she felt so incredibly safe. Cherished.
She didn’t want to let go of this moment. She might never have this again, and she wanted it to go on and on.
She raised her lips to meet his, fusing their mouths like molten liquid. She released all the pent-up longing, all her childlike fantasies and her womanly desires.
He returned her frantic kisses, swallowing her sighs of pleasure. His hand gripped her hip, cupping her to the hardness still trapped by his jeans. She felt the scratch of denim as her legs moved with restless abandon.
“Take them off,” she whispered.
He pulled from her long enough to shimmy his jeans down and kick them away. He turned his gaze back to her, and she shivered at the intensity in his eyes.
“You’re beautiful, Jules. More beautiful than ever.”
She smiled half in amusement, half in self-conscious discomfort. She’d never looked worse, but she imagined he thought she looked beautiful because he hadn’t seen her in so long. She understood. He had never looked more beautiful to her than in this moment. Naked next to her in front of the fire.
He began at her navel, kissing lightly, raining a trail of fire from her abdomen to her breasts. She sucked in her breath when his tongue swirled around first one nipple then the other. She closed her eyes and groaned aloud when he finally pulled one into his mouth.
An unbearable need blossomed in her stomach and spread to her groin. One only he could sate. Gone was the terror and shame of long ago. This was a man she had waited forever for.
His hand parted her thighs, and he stroked soothingly over her tender flesh. His fingers performed magic, and she began to move beneath him, wanting more.
He kissed her again, his tongue delving deep into her mouth, staking his claim.
“Are you all right?”
She didn’t trust herself to speak so she nodded. His fingers pushed her hair from her forehead, tucking it behind her ears. He looked at her with such love and acceptance, she wanted to cry. How would he look at her when he learned of her betrayal?
Her breath came out in a shaky jerk.
Manny’s gaze softened even more.
“Don’t be afraid, baby. I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”
She didn’t correct his assumption. She couldn’t.
He kissed her lightly, tenderly, and the aching in her heart increased tenfold.
She reached out to touch his chest, her fingertips glancing over the hard muscles and light smattering of hair. He rolled onto his back, coaxed by her hands. She followed him, eager to explore more of his body.
He groaned. “I’ve dreamed of you touching me.”
Encouraged by his response, she followed her fingers with her lips. She inhaled deeply, letting his scent envelop her senses. His taste danced a slow waltz on her tongue, warm and comforting.
She paused for a moment when she saw the evidence of his arousal. Hard and erect, yet when she touched it, it felt satiny and smooth.
“God, Jules.”
His voice came out tortured, ragged.
She smiled, enjoying her power over him. She bent to kiss him there, but he caught her shoulders.
“Don’t, baby. I won’t last if you do.”
He pulled her up his body until her head was even with his again. Then he rotated over her, his length covering hers. He supported himself with his hands so his weight didn’t crush her, but she felt every inch of him.
For a long moment he simply stared down at her, his gaze stroking over her flesh just as his hands had done just seconds ago.
“I love you.”
She stared at him in shock, too overwhelmed to respond, her heart nearly bursting from her chest.
And still he stared as if willing her to accept the words. His eyes were dark with emotion. Love. She couldn’t deny it. She didn’t want to. He loved her.
He waited silently, allowing her time to absorb his confession, to accept that he wasn’t simply going to have sex with her. Her chest tightened, painful with each breath she tried to let loose.
She lifted her hand to cup his cheek and then smoothed her thumb over the lines under his eyes, over his cheekbone and then down to his jaw. She wanted so much to tell him she loved him. Adored him. Always had. But it seemed the ultimate betrayal when she planned to turn her back on the love he offered so unconditionally.
But she could show him.
Her hands wandered down his body, over his broad shoulders and then to his chest, coming together in the hollow where she could feel the steady beat of his heart.
“Show me,” she finally said. It was all she could say.
He closed his eyes and when he reopened them, they were bright with desire. Worry for her. And love. So much love that she felt it wrap around her and invade her soul.
He nudged her legs apart with his thigh and settled his heavy erection against her opening. She hooked her ankles around his waist, encouraging him, wanting him.
He closed his eyes again and the muscles in his neck strained and bulged as he began to slowly ease his way into her body. He was so exquisitely tender, so reverent that her eyelids burned with unshed tears. Didn’t he know that she trusted him? That she knew he’d never hurt her?
She wrapped her arms around him, wanting him closer, wanting the security of his big body so close to hers. And she hung on, burying her face in his neck, her eyes squeezed shut against the emotion building in her heart.
“I love you,” he said again, as if he knew just how much she needed to hear the words.