Authors: Joan Early
“Unless what?” she asked.
“The only thing that could make me happier is to have you for my wife, to come home to you each day, to love you forever.”
“Well, you already know I don’t believe in long engagements,” she said, trying to contain her excitement and surprise. She kissed him and went into the shower. Afterwards, she dried her hair, finished her makeup, and dressed. She was getting a bottle of water from the minibar when he entered in formal wear. Her heart skipped lightly with happiness.
“You are without a doubt the most irresistible woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. I’ll be the envy of every man there tonight.”
“And I’ll be the envy of every woman.”
* * *
Will had not told Susan that he was president of the ministers’ association or that he was an honoree. Her heart swelled with pride when he accepted the award for excellence in leadership and went to the podium to speak. She was once again struck by his strength, his humility, and his self-possession. He was a man, she thought, who would not need to prove himself or take control. He was the man she wanted to love forever.
He eloquently expressed his concerns for unity in the church and in the community, health awareness, and intervention for at-risk teens. After dinner, the gospel choir that had performed before the invocation sang a few standards from the big band era. He held her loosely and they swayed in harmony.
“I’m so proud to be here with you. I enjoyed the evening so far, but all I can think of is snuggling in your arms.”
“If you are feeling half of what I feel, we’d better head for the exit fast. I’m almost afraid to look around, afraid everyone will see on my face what I feel inside. We are being watched, you know. I’m usually solo at these functions, and now the most beautiful, most wonderful woman is with me. Stay close to me.”
After the dance, he went for punch and his best friend, Robert Wise, joined Susan at the table. “My buddy Will has been holding out on me. We talk at least once a week, but he never told me he had something going on with a very lovely lady.”
“And what makes you think we have something going on?” Susan asked, smiling as Will joined them.
“I know this dude pretty well; we bunked together for years. But even a blind man could see there’s something special going on. Sparks flew between you two last night, and this afternoon in the lobby, but tonight…your glow lit up this joint.”
Will smiled sheepishly. “Go easy, my friend. You’re embarrassing Susan.”
“Susan isn’t the one embarrassed, but I’ll go easy on you,” Robert said, holding up his glass for a toast.
Susan was happy when Will said goodnight to his colleagues. “Okay, excellent leader,” she teased when they were in the elevator. “Lead the way.”
“You like teasing me, don’t you?” he said, toying with the curls that softly draped her shoulder. “That’s okay. Robert started teasing me as soon as he saw us together. He’s been a good friend for a long time. His wife is pregnant with twins, so I’ll have fun teasing him now.”
He unlocked the door and she walked ahead of him. “Did you order this?” she asked, looking at the bottle of Dom Pérignon chilling in a bucket on the coffee table.
“I thought it would be a good way to end this special evening.”
He filled two glasses and joined her on the sofa. “I love you, Miss Cross. I love you with all my heart, and I want you to be my wife.”
She took the glass and smiled through her tears. “I love you too, Rev. Cartwright—more than I ever thought possible, and I want to be your wife. Forever.”
They kissed, and the sparks Roberts had described exploded around them. Claps of thunder almost drowned out the softly playing music, and rain beat insistently against the windows. But Susan and Will were oblivious to nature’s angry sounds, as they were lost in their own intimate world of newfound connections and astounding pleasures.
After they made love, he folded her into the contours of his arms. Sleep came quickly and peacefully.
* * *
When Susan awakened, Will was looking down at her as if he had been committing her face to memory.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he said, kissing her forehead. “At the risk of sounding like a lovesick puppy, I just have to say that you are the most fascinating woman I’ve ever known, asleep or awake.”
“Good morning. For a minute I thought I was waking from a dream. Tell me it’s for real. Tell me we’re here together and in love, and that we’ll have many nights like the one we just had.”
“It must be true; I could never dream anything this wonderful. I love you. I want to have many such nights with you…for the rest of my life.”
Drawing her closer, he said, “There is something we should talk about before going down to the prayer breakfast. I know a lot of the ministers here, some of them quite well. Robert Wise has been my best friend since college, so he was the first to notice my happiness, even before he knew I was here with someone. When he met you yesterday, he asked if we were engaged, and I’m sure some of the others were probably wondering. Would I be speaking out of turn if I said we’re unofficially engaged?”
“I’ll say we’re engaged if you promise it will be a short engagement. I’m not going to be able to stay away from you, and I don’t think it would look right for a minister to live in sin, so we’ll just have to get married right away,” she said playfully.
She enjoyed listening to him describing their relationship to his friends.
“We haven’t known each other very long,” he would say, “but we’ll have an announcement very soon.”
Later, they packed and sat in the living room, sharing more details of their lives; only this time they were looking into the future, not the past.
“As much as we’ve talked, I never asked if you want children. I’m not suggesting we start the minute we’re married; I just want to know your thoughts on the subject. It’s taken for granted that most women do, but you have a great career. Motherhood interferes with that, so the decision is yours. I’ll still love you no matter what you decide.”
“My mother would be happy to answer that question. I spoiled my younger brother Charles so much that Mom and Dad threatened to make me come home from college to care for him. They couldn’t do a thing with him after I left. But he was such a wonderful little boy. I wanted to spoil him even when my parents were home. So yes, I very much want children. Of course my older brother, Bobby, spoiled me when I was a kid. He was a big athlete in high school, and I rode the wave of his popularity my first year at JFK High. I would introduce myself as Bobby Cross’s sister.”
“Is there a big age difference between you and Charles?”
“Only six years,” she answered. “Bobby and I are two years apart and were always close. We did just about everything as a family, so the three of us spent a lot of time together. When my parents were busy around the house, they made the oldest child responsible for the others. When Dad took Bobby to his Little League practice, I cared for Charles while my mother prepared dinner. I helped him with homework until I left for college, made his favorite sandwiches, and shot hoops with him at night when he joined the basketball team.”
“I have a picture in my head of you holding our baby in your arms. I can’t wait for that to happen. I know your career is special to you, and I’ll respect that, but I hope we don’t have to wait too long.”
“I’ll be twenty-eight in January. I certainly would like to have a child before I’m thirty, but we should make sure we’re okay together before we decide on something so important. I like to think I’m strong and self-reliant. I want to become a part of your life—not change it— to share the things that are important to you. But I do need to know there will be time for the two of us, and then the three, four, and five of us.”
“Are we having that many?” he asked, laughing. “I’ll make time for us; I’ll make time for family. I promise.”
* * *
As the weekend came to a close, thoughts of Monday morning and the situation at Sealand crept into Susan’s head. And then there was Travis. She dreaded having to tell him she was involved with someone else.
“Nickel for your thoughts,” he said when they were seated on the plane.
“Nickel, huh?” she answered. “Isn’t it a penny?”
“Not for the thoughts that put that pensive look on your face.”
“The look only means I have a lot of thoughts to process. Everything happened so fast. We just met. We’ve talked a lot, but how much do we really know about each other?” He frowned, and she added, “I’m not having second thoughts about our relationship. I feel a little…overwhelmed, but in a good way.”
“So do I,” he admitted. “And I’m not trying to rush you into marriage. If I’m being overeager it’s because each second I’ve spent with you, even when we disagreed, had a big impact on my heart. I love you, Susan, and I’ll wait for you to set a date for our wedding.”
“I don’t want to wait. I want to come home and not have to say good-bye to the man I love. I don’t need a long engagement or a big wedding. Thanks to my parents, I already had a fabulous wedding. Now I want a fabulous marriage.”
She enjoyed his closeness during the plane ride, and he held her hand as they waited in baggage claim. When they arrived at her apartment, she did not want him to leave. “It was a wonderful weekend, Will. I know you have to go, but I’m so going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too. I don’t understand what happens when I’m around you. I want to hold you next to me forever and never let you go. Does that frighten you?”
“No, I like my space and my independence, but I know without reservation that I’m ready to share it with you, completely and without end.”
They kissed and he promised to call her before she went to sleep.
She picked up the newspapers that had been left by the front door, and noticed the flashing button on her answering machine when she placed them on the desk.
“Ten messages,” she noted, stooping to pet the cat. “Who’s been calling us, Dino? Everyone I know in this city knew I wouldn’t be home. Have you been receiving calls from some slinky feline? Well, you handle it. I’m going upstairs and unpack.”
She carried her two bags up the steps, with Dino close behind, and put them next to the window seat. Unable to ignore the red light from the answering machine on her nightstand, she sat on the edge of the bed and pushed the machine’s play button.
The first message was from Price. “Susan, I’ve been calling your cell phone all morning. Call me immediately. Mr. Deeds is on his way back. This is serious. Call me.” The message was recorded at 9:55 that morning.
She and Will had agreed to turn off their cell phones during the weekend. Will had called his parents and Mrs. Whitehead on Saturday, and Susan had called her parents, Angie, and Barbara. She hurried back downstairs and took the phone from the bottom of her purse. There were six missed messages. The first was from Price.
“Susan, I know you’re out of town, but I need to speak with you about that article in the
Chronicle
.”
She sat in the desk chair and frantically forwarded through the messages on her cell phone and then the ones on the answering machine. Most of them were from Travis and Price—same messages, different tones. There were two from Mark Chestnut, a reporter she had met at the ribbon cutting ceremony, requesting her comment on allegations of redlining leveled by a group of citizens from Cedargrove Heights. The last message on both phones was from a request from Angie. “Susan, don’t talk to anyone until you call me.”
She took the Sunday edition of the
Chronicle
from the protective cover. It was folded with section two on top. The caption under a photograph of four men standing in front of Cedargrove Baptist Church brought a sickening pain to her chest:
Local Civic Group Lodges Serious Complaint Against Lender.
The story alleged that Sealand, and Susan Cross, head of lending, failed to investigate their complaints and had participated in discrimination against their neighborhood. Susan’s chest heaved in anger. Before she could dial Angie’s number, the phone rang again. She saw that it was an Ohio call and grabbed the receiver.
“Mom, I’m here.”
“Hello, honey. You sounded so happy when you called on Saturday. I can’t wait to hear details of your weekend with Rev. Wonderful.”
“It was fabulous, Mother.” Her deadpan delivery reeked of bitterness. “He told me I was beautiful and wonderful and special. He said he loved me and he asked me to marry him. He said I was the most provocative and fascinating woman he had ever known…” Her voice wavered; she struggled for control.
“Susan, what’s wrong? What did he do to you?”
“Mom, I believe he invited me out of town so his people could plant a story in the paper, and I wouldn’t be available for comment. He used me, Mother. Every sweet word that came from his lips was a damn lie. I found my answering machine filled with messages, including some very ugly ones from that snipe Price Bishop insinuating that he has my job.”
Joining in, her father said, “I thought this whole redlining thing had gone away. That is what it’s about, isn’t it?”
“Yes, Dad. They’re claiming Sealand targeted that area for discrimination, and when the matter was brought to my attention, I failed to take action. Those slimy bastards made it appear to be my fault.”
“Susan, I want you to calm down and put this whole thing in perspective,” Tammy cautioned. “Are you sure Rev. Cartwright was behind this?”
Before she could answer, her father chimed in. “Susan, do you want your mother and me to come down there? We can leave right away—”
“Absolutely not,” she interrupted. “I’ll deal with it. I just walked in and found urgent messages from Travis and Price, and then saw the article in the paper, so I’m mad as hell right now. I’ll be okay as soon as I calm down and catch my breath.”
She went to the refrigerator for a bottle of wine, popped the cork, and drank from the bottle.
“Have you asked Rev. Cartwright about this yet?
Isn’t it possible that he was as unaware of this as you were?”
Her mother’s voice was calming, but each time Susan thought of the way Will had talked to her, constantly reassuring her of his love, she went into a rage. With the phone cradled to her ear, she walked back to the desk.