Look Both Ways (8 page)

“We’re fine, honey. We’re all fine. It’s obvious something is wrong, so please calm down and tell me before my imagination goes to extremes.”

“I am excited, and that in itself may be wrong, I’m not sure. Mom, I met this man. The most fascinating man I’ve ever seen. Handsome, tall, broad shoulders, large dark eyes, chocolate skin that made me salivate, and the most charming smile you could imagine. Mom, he’s a minister. Rev. Willard Cartwright Jr.”

“Well, I don’t know about you dating a minister. I’ve had to threaten to scrub your mouth with soap…did you say Willard Cartwright?” Tammy suddenly asked.

“Yes, have you heard of him? It wouldn’t surprise me if you had. He’s the most wonderful man, Mom. I didn’t like him at first. In fact, I hated him. At least I think I did. He’s the one who came in my first day here and pelted me with questions and innuendoes about redlining. I was so angry I wanted to call security. You know it takes a lot to make me lose control, but this man did it. Twice.”

“Susan, slow down. How old is this man?”

“I don’t know how old he is. I would say mid to late thirties. Mom, he’s a minister! Rev. Willard Cartwright.” She repeated the name as if it, too, was magical.

Her mother laughed. “For you to be this excited, Rev. Cartwright must be magnificent. I knew of a Rev. Willard Cartwright a long time ago, but he’s in his early sixties now. This man is probably his son. The Rev. Cartwright I’m referring to crusaded for civil rights there in Houston and was in a group of young seminary students that marched in Washington with Dr. King. I vaguely remember his face, but I do recall it was a handsome one. And this is the man who upset you?”

“Yeah. Well, he accused Sealand of redlining a particular area. That’s where—”

“I know what redlining is,” her mother interrupted. “This must be the son of the Willard Cartwright I once knew. He was always marching, boycotting, raising Cain about one cause or another. I thought he would run for public office, but I assume his career in the ministry has been amply rewarding.”

“I was told that the senior Rev. Cartwright was, and still is, a crusader, and so is his son. He was downright rude when he came to my office and I soon joined him. Mom, the whole incident was like something from another galaxy. I looked into his face and became totally paralyzed. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. No man has ever made me feel that way. The second time we talked was even worse. For the first time in my life, I had to search for words.”

“Those sure don’t sound like reasons to be excited.”

“It’s not that. I just saw him again, at the gas station. I’m at my apartment now. There was a fire in the parking garage and we were evacuated. On the way home I stopped for gas and he walked up and tapped me on the shoulder. Mom, I have never felt like this about anyone.” She saw Dino peeping around the sofa and lowered her voice. “Not Stan, not anyone.”

“If he’s like his father, I can understand. Does he have the same deep voice? That’s what I remember most.”

“Yes! That got to me almost as much as his smile. Mom, he just invited me to his church fashion show on Saturday. I am so frightened.”

“Frightened? Why frightened?”

“He’s a minister, Mom, and as you just said, I have a potty mouth. I’m sure I’ll say something to make him think I’m an immoral heathen. I’m already ashamed of the feelings I have for him. I…it’s inexplicable. I just wanted to jump in his arms and stay there for the rest of my life. I shouldn’t have those thoughts about a minister.”

“Honey, he’s not the Pope. You’re not supposed to see halos when you look at him. He didn’t take a vow of celibacy. You’ll probably have to hold him off with a stick.”

“That’s the part that bothers me most. I don’t think I could hold him off, and you know how I am about being in control. I totally lost it with this man. I couldn’t look at him straight. My knees were trembling. My hands were wet. That doesn’t happen to me very often.”

“I can understand why you feel so flustered, but don’t waste your time worrying. He’s a man and you’re a woman. Whatever happens, happens. He’s obviously attracted to you, and in all probability he was just as nervous and as awestruck as you were. You’re a beautiful and very forceful woman.”

“Well, he did strike up a personal conversation when we first met. He invited me to his church and to their singles’ group meeting, which he chairs. In my anger I’d forgotten about that.”

Willard Cartwright’s smile danced before her. Words could not convey her sudden attraction to a stranger, and she could not fully explain the raw emotion he stirred within her.

“I’m glad you’ve found a man who excites you. Just don’t get too carried away. Take it slow and see how much you really like Rev. Willard Cartwright once you get to know him.”

“You’re right. If I had been a good judge of character, I wouldn’t be divorced. That brings up another point. Before I begin a serious relationship with a man, I’ll have to determine if my marriage failed because of Stan or because of me. I know I should put it behind me, but I’m still riddled with questions and…a little guilt. Maybe I do tend to overwhelm men, though I certainly don’t mean to.”

“Only weak ones, honey. Stan isn’t a bad person. His insecurities were no match for a strong-willed woman. Your father and I picked up little things that you probably never noticed about Stan, even when you were first married. Things that showed a lack of self-confidence.”

She listened, thinking she was not afraid of falling in love, just the pain it could bring. One strike had not dulled her longing for a committed relationship. She wanted everything her life could hold, and she wanted it with Willard Cartwright.

She spoke to her father and found him less than thrilled by news of her new friend. Her mother, on the other hand, had urged caution but had been encouraging.

Her father’s advice had been: “Don’t worry about saying the wrong thing in this man’s presence. I’m sure he’s heard everything there is to hear by now.”

She thanked her father for his advice, hung up and reminded herself to stay away from hot-button issues—first and foremost was Cedargrove Heights.

Her curiosity was also mounting. What kind of man was Rev. Willard Cartwright Jr.? She envisioned kindness, strength, and gentleness. But could he be a man who could run away with her heart, leaving her stranded in the state of helplessness that she had fought to avoid?

* * *

“What time shall I pick you up tomorrow?” Will asked his father.

“You’re not picking me up because I’m not going to that fashion thing. Not this year. I appreciate what the women go through to put this together, but it’s one big bore for me.”

“A lot of men are involved this year, and quite a few are modeling in the show.”

“That’s the other reason I’m not going. I respect and love all of God’s creatures, and I don’t mind men models, but that Sampson boy twisting around like a prancing filly doesn’t do a thing for my bad heart.”

Will laughed and his mother, who had brought her husband’s dinner in on a tray, joined him.

“You’ll be there, won’t you, son?”

“I’ll be there, Mom. In fact, I’m bringing someone. A friend.”

“Good,” his mother said, looking at his father. “That’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time.”

“It’s Susan Cross, the lady from Sealand.” He spoke quickly.

“Is she pretty?” his mother asked.

He answered without hesitation. “She’s perfect.”

* * *

Saturday morning soon followed a restless Friday night. After trying on every dress in her closet, Susan decided that none was quite right for the occasion.

“You’re going to a fashion show; you’re not in one,” she chided herself, and finally chose a lightweight navy knit with an asymmetrical gold stripe across the bodice and gold piping on the sleeves.

She studied her reflection in the mirror. “This is a Baptist outfit for sure,” she said to her audience of one. “Wish me good luck, Dino.”

She stepped into navy slingbacks, put a linen handkerchief in her matching bag, and added gold jewelry before declaring herself properly dressed.

Rev. Cartwright was late picking her up, which allowed extra time for her nerves to become more frayed. She paced back and forth, rubbing the knuckles of her right hand in her left palm, and thought back to the last time a date picked her up late. She was angry and he was sullen; they saw a dull movie, she refused to kiss him. He never called again.

“It’s just as well, Dino. I’m too ambivalent about dating a minister for this to work.”

The doorbell rang at precisely eleven-thirty. She removed the security chain and looked, unsmiling, into his eyes, but warmth soon replaced irritation.

“I’m sorry I’m late. I had an emergency at the church. I don’t like keeping a lovely lady waiting, but you can count on this luncheon not starting promptly.” He said it all in a rush, finally stopping to catch his breath. “You look wonderful.” His smile was crooked and utterly disarming.

“Thank you.”

Seated next to him moments later, she felt his magnetic pull and sensed the feeling was mutual. As he drove through his neighborhood, he provided her with details about the changing face of the area.

“This is Cedargrove Heights, once a predominately Jewish neighborhood, now predominately black, but with a growing Hispanic population. The older homes to the left were sold when blacks began to move into the area. A few Jewish families remained, but once the older members were gone, the younger generation chose not to keep the properties. Most of them are well maintained, but some were abandoned back in the housing recession of the eighties. Too much upkeep for some and not enough rental income for others. Just about every house along this main street went on the market shortly after tax laws for rental property changed.”

She paid close attention to every detail he mentioned and tried to observe as much as she could of his beloved Cedargrove Heights, which bordered a large section of downtown. She knew that if the metro area hoped to expand, bordering property would eventually become prime real estate. The residences changed from the elegant, large brick and wood-framed houses to smaller, cheaply built ones. Wooded areas bordered the east side of the development. Susan saw lots of room for growth.

Will parked in his reserved space and came around to open the door and take her hand. Looking around, she observed several structures situated about the well-maintained grounds. She assumed they represented different eras in the church’s history. The original structure was almost hidden behind the austere lines of the newer building. Remembering her grandmother’s stories of how the church was the only place blacks could congregate during state-sanctioned discrimination, she felt an immediate kinship to a place she had never been.

Will held her arm as they walked toward the entrance. When he introduced her as his guest to several people in the foyer, she felt special. Heads turned as they entered the room. Susan quickly ascertained that a lot of money had gone into the construction of the large hall and into its elaborate décor. The individual seats were nicely upholstered, video screens were placed throughout, and biblical scenes were portrayed in stained glass on the windows and transoms.

Will introduced her around the table and then placed her between him and Mrs. Whitehead.

“Miss Cross.” Mrs. Whitehead beamed a big, welcoming smile. “It’s so nice of you to come.”

When Will excused himself, Susan learned that Mrs. Whitehead was his godmother as well as his assistant, and met his mother, his sister Terri, and two aunts. Everyone was very cordial, though Susan felt sure they were giving her a critical once-over.

Will joined them midway through the show and apologized for his absence. When the event was over, Susan said good-bye to Mrs. Whitehead and the others and accepted invitations to come again. On the way out, he stopped for “a little church business.” She wandered over to the foyer and purchased a purse from one of the street vendors there. On his way to join her, Will described her as a special friend to someone inquiring about her identity.

Susan liked his response.

He drove her around the rest of the neighborhood, pointing out his old high school, the house where he was born, and the house his parents had purchased when he was nine years old.

“I hope you don’t mind if I run in and check on my dad. He had a stroke and has recovered just enough to get around in his wheelchair, but he flatly refused to come out for this function, not that I blame him. He’s been alone here this afternoon, and I just need to make sure he’s okay.”

He flashed the smile that she had come to adore.

“I’ll only be a minute. You can stay in the car if you like, though I’m sure he’d want to meet you.”

“I don’t mind coming in. I’d like to meet your father.”

They found the elder reverend sitting in a recliner watching a western movie and talking to the set.

Will hugged his father, took the remote and lowered the volume on the TV before guiding Susan over for an introduction. The expression of devotion on his face and the pride and tenderness he displayed toward his father touched her deeply.

“Dad, I want you to meet someone very special. This is Susan Cross. She’s head of lending for Sealand. This is my father, Rev. Cartwright Sr.”

“Hello, young lady. Welcome to our home.” He wasn’t as old as Susan had imagined, and there was something enthralling in his smooth face, the same subtle intimidation she saw in his son.

“Thank you, sir. My mother has told me about your gallant efforts on behalf of civil rights. It’s quite an honor to meet you.”

A smile spread across his face. “Thank you. I appreciate your kind words. Your folks from Houston?”

“No, sir. I’m from Canton, Ohio. My mother recognized your name as someone she’s come to respect over the years. I was taught to appreciate the sacrifices made by those who paved the way for the rest of us. My parents were very active in civil rights matters. They still are.”

His smile was warm and genuine. “I’m so glad to hear that, and I hope they stay active. Too many people think they’ve got it made and have become complacent…lethargic…just plain ole lazy. If we’re not careful, we’ll be right back where we started.” His voice lowered as he took her hand. “You sure are a beautiful young lady. I’m so glad my son brought you by.”